Tag Archives: leadership

The Cost of Ego-Driven Leadership

There appears to be a growing fascination with the “Elon Musk” style of forceful leadership glorifying a macho bravado over emotional intelligence. But behind the tough talk lies a troubling truth: Such an approach quietly erodes the foundations of a business. After 15 years in the consultancy field, I’ve seen it firsthand. If you want to damage a company from the inside out, lead with ego and ignore the human element.

My work facilitating countless in-house workshops in a wide variety of business sectors is backed by research. Leadership matters. How managers and supervisors engage with their teams directly influences motivation, performance, absenteeism, customer satisfaction, innovation, and long-term loyalty. The impact is immediate and often irreversible.

A significant share of workplace-related mental health issues such as burnout and depression, can often be traced back to organizational dysfunction, and how supervisors and managers treat their teams. When disengaged or unhappy employees are asked to evaluate their leaders, they frequently highlight a lack of core social and emotional skills.

Common complaints include:

  • Inability to address or resolve conflicts
  • Reluctance to acknowledge or validate good work
  • Micromanagement and controlling behavior
  • Excessive focus on minor mistakes or faults

In some cases, managers transferred to new departments quickly saw the same pattern emerge—high absenteeism, low morale, and disengagement—indicating that leadership style, not just environment, was the root cause.

On the other end of the spectrum, passive or absent leadership is equally damaging. Teams want leadership—but they want it from someone who leads with integrity, consistency, and emotional intelligence. The most respected leaders don’t shy away from accountability. They address underperformance, but they do so with what can best be described as tough love—firm yet fair, grounded in mutual respect.

People who feel dehumanized, disconnect

Constructive feedback uplifts and encourages growth. In contrast, harsh, demeaning, or fear-based criticism—what some might call the “kick-arse” style—erodes trust, silences initiative, and ultimately dehumanizes. And when people feel dehumanized, they disconnect. That’s how organizations slowly begin to lose their heart—and their talent.

Sport teams offer a great example of leadership style in action. Authoritarian coaches often bring short-term success but fail in the long-term.

Clear expectations, discipline, and structure can boost performance, especially in high-pressure or high-stakes environments like playoffs or elite competition.

Reduced Player Autonomy, Creativity
Over time, however, athletes under this style of leadership show reduced motivation, creativity, and autonomy. A lack of personal agency can stifle adaptive thinking on the field, a key to navigating unpredictable situations.

While some authoritarian leaders succeed in rallying teams through sheer force of will, they often fail to build trust or psychological safety. When things go wrong, blame replaces support, and that kills morale and camaraderie.

My experience is that companies grossly underestimate the cost of bad leadership. Costs can be prohibitive when highly-skilled staff leave, absenteeism rises, and new staff have to be recruited and trained. This comes in addition to the costs caused by demotivated staff in a culture of fear and negativity.

Authoritarian leadership fails over time

Authoritarian leaders in business often deliver quick results. They take control, issue orders, and expect compliance. In moments of crisis or chaos, that decisiveness can seem like strength. But over time, the cracks start to show—both on the field and in the office.

Great teams thrive on trust, mutual respect, and shared purpose. Authoritarian leaders undermine that by silencing voices and centralizing power. Over time, teams stop collaborating and start competing—for attention, approval, or simply survival.

Leaders who foster inclusion, creativity, and emotional intelligence over time are more successful. Satya Nadella, revitalized Microsoft with his emphasis on shifting from a know-it-all culture to a learn-it-all culture, emphasizing emotional intelligence and humility.

Ed Catmull, co-founder of Pixar, and author of Creativity, Inc., a go-to book on healthy leadership. is quoted as saying: “Give a good idea to a mediocre team, and they will screw it up. Give a mediocre idea to a great team, and they will either fix it or come up with something better.”

Success and happiness at the workplace is increasingly dependent on how we communicate and interact with others. At the workplace people operate either as takes, matches, or givers without expecting anything in return, according to famous Organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

Takers are those who almost exclusively act in ways that advance their own personal agendas. In their interactions with others, they are internally asking the question, “What can you do for me?” Matchers operate on a quid pro quo basis, giving in equal measure as others have given to them. Matchers’ interactions are based on fairness, with interactions based on the idea that “If you do something for me, I’ll do something for you.” The third group, the givers, is made up of people who are characterized by serving those around them. The interaction of givers is based on the question, “What can I do for you?”

Grant’s research, based on interviews with 30,000 people across a variety of industries and cultures, reveals that although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners and “The Turning of the Circle” on how the underlying the laws of nature, give an invaluable insight into life’s evolutionary cycle.

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Filed under connection, corporate health, happiness, happiness research, Job satisfaction, lifestyle management, psychology, self-development

Leadership matters: The Strong vs the Wise

Whether it’s the captain of a ship, a school principal, a company manager, or the president of a nation, leadership makes a difference. The character and values a leader demonstrates through words and actions can have a profound impact.

For more than a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to work with hundreds of companies, gaining much insight into the challenges and success stories when it comes to people management, motivation, creativity and well-being.

Ultimately, leadership plays a huge role. It determines how a family, a company, an institution, or even a country adapts and navigates tumultuous times.

Brute strength and fear never work

It’s not brute strength that counts, but wisdom. A “strong” leader, is often authoritarian and surrounded by sycophants, refuses to take good advice and relies on fear-based tactics.

This approach is often seen in leaders driven by ego or even malignant narcissism. It can lead to immense, lasting harm. Such leaders tend to belittle others to mask their own insecurities and deficiencies.

The wise leader, by contrast, has a bigger vision, grounded in social intelligence and deep listening. They pick up early signals before issues escalate into crises, navigating with a calm, compassionate demeanor. Wise leadership is marked by patience, thoughtfulness, and humility, creating an atmosphere where people feel valued and respected.

Mandela exemplified compassionate leadership

Nelson Mandela exemplified this. After being unjustly imprisoned for 27 years, he had every reason to harbor bitterness. Yet, when I met Mandela shortly after his release from prison in 1990, he showed a profound sense of forgiveness. He realized that hate and retribution would only hinder a peaceful, democratic future for South Africa. He recognized that his true strength lay in bringing together opposite sides in building one nation.

Body language tells the truth

To grasp the distinction between effective and ineffective leadership, we should pay attention not just to words but to body language. Wise leaders convey a natural authority through measured movements, creating an environment of stability and composure even in high-stress scenarios. Their expressions are often accompanied by a gentle smile that signals warmth and approachability. They nod or offer affirmations while others speak, embodying active listening and respect.

In contrast, ego-driven leaders tend to use body language to assert control. They may invade personal space, exhibit forceful gestures like pointing or chopping the air, and maintain scowling or emotionless expressions, creating an atmosphere of intimidation and tension rather than collaboration and respect.

This distinction is crucial because effective leadership directly shapes workplace culture, employee engagement, and job satisfaction—all key factors influencing absenteeism and work-related stress.

Bad leadership destroys health and well-being

Research supports this, such as the Health and Well-being at Work report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) in the UK. This 2019 study found that 37 percent of employees cited “management style” as a major source of workplace stress, a significant factor in absenteeism.

  • Organizations with supportive managers reported lower absenteeism rates, as employees felt valued and connected to their work.
  • Furthermore, the report highlighted how companies with inclusive, communicative, and supportive cultures see fewer absences.
  • When leadership invests in employee well-being, absenteeism rates can drop by nearly 25 percent, significantly reducing burnout and fostering resilience, health and satisfaction.

What does this mean for national leadership? Leaders at the helm of a country have an outsize influence. They can incite division, demean, and fragment society. Do they bring out the worst in the human being in emanating fear, intolerance, anger and retribution? Or, do they heal, unite, respect, and motivate a nation, elevating it to a higher state of consciousness.

The character and values of a nation are mirrored in its chosen leaders, as the philosopher and writer Joseph de Maistre, (1753–1821) once said:

“Every nation gets the government it deserves.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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A life dedicated to service

The passing of Queen Elizabeth II has been mourned by millions of people, many feeling the same grief as if a close family member had died. Even anti-Royalists would have to concede that the Queen triggers something deep in the collective consciousness.

The death of a famous person sends a stark reminder of our own mortality. A collective outpouring of grief on a global level has a cathartic, healing effect. We are reminded over the loss of our own loved ones who are no more. The queen herself said in a message after the 9/11 terror attacks on September 11, 2001: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

The public image of the rich, powerful and famous is carefully crafted by teams of professional public relations experts and seldom bears resemblance to the real lives of the persons portrayed.

Individual needs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations are projected onto persons in the public limelight. It is part of the marketing strategy to remain a talking point, with tidbits of information on the private lives being fed to the yellow press at timed intervals.

The projection of hopes and dreams

The result is that the addictive consumer of gossip press knows more about some distant movie star or royal family member than about their immediate family or friends.  Sadly, they become so engrossed with the life of a complete stranger that they forget to live their own life.

There seems to be almost a masochistic indulgence in the rise and fall of some famous rock legend, movie, or sports star. Nothing seems to provide the yellow press with so much “Schadenfreude” as to elevate a superstar to a “God” and then to do everything possible to oust them from the throne.

There are indeed rare historical examples of leaders who never set a foot wrong and through their life of service become a game-changer for generations afterward. Queen Elizabeth’s vow to serve was made in a famous speech in Cape Town on her 21st birthday.

Nelson Mandela committed his life to the struggle for a non-racial democratic  South Africa. Just prior to being sentenced to life imprisonment by the apartheid government in 1961, he said:

“The struggle is my life. I will continue fighting for freedom until the end of my days.”

Eleanor Roosevelt,  working tirelessly in the background of her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s presidency, campaigned for the rights of women in the workplace and the civil rights of African Americans.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give,” she said in one of her most famous quotes.

Spiritual leaders made the ultimate sacrifice

Many of the world’s greatest spiritual leaders gave the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus was crucified on the cross. During the Middle Ages the Mystics and religious leaders Giordano Bruno, Jan Hus, Joan of Arc, and Marguerite Porete were burned at the stake for heresy like tens of thousands of others.

In an age where personal material gratification and narcissism have become the norm, a “life dedicated to service” has become an almost archaic term from bygone times.

It is no coincidence that a culture of narcissism is interlinked to the epidemic rise in depression. Disappointment, grievance, and loss of self-esteem are inevitable when the drumbeat of the cultural message is all external. Meaning and value are defined according to “fame parameters” such as the number of social media followers, material possessions, and particular definitions of physical beauty.

An antidote to depression?

A life of service is one of the best antidotes to depression. Studies reveal that people doing volunteer work in their community and who have a life philosophy based on serving something that far outweighes their individual needs are more successful, happier, and contented human beings.

It is why some of the world’s wealthiest people have become the world’s greatest philanthropists, using their wealth as their tool of destiny for the betterment of society.

Analysis of three waves of data from the Americans’ Changing Lives data set (1986, 1989, 1994) reveals that volunteering lower depression levels, especially for those over the age of 65. An Irish study concluded that volunteer work and as a result social connectedness improved mental health. Helping others gives a sense of meaning and purpose.

Even the Royal Family has been skillful in crafting its public image to counter growing sentiment questioning the meaning of having a monarchy. Yet, it is obvious that like Lady Diana, the Queen has touched the hearts of millions of people with small, simple gestures of kindness and compassion.

The simple things and their compound effect ultimately make all the difference in building a better world, something the Queen had obviously understood and is the message that has resounded with so many during these past days.

In a Christmas broadcast in 2002 the Queen said: “Our modern world places such heavy demands on our time and attention that the need to remember our responsibilities to others is greater than ever.” 

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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