Monthly Archives: September 2022

A life dedicated to service

The passing of Queen Elizabeth II has been mourned by millions of people, many feeling the same grief as if a close family member had died. Even anti-Royalists would have to concede that the Queen triggers something deep in the collective consciousness.

The death of a famous person sends a stark reminder of our own mortality. A collective outpouring of grief on a global level has a cathartic, healing effect. We are reminded over the loss of our own loved ones who are no more. The queen herself said in a message after the 9/11 terror attacks on September 11, 2001: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

The public image of the rich, powerful and famous is carefully crafted by teams of professional public relations experts and seldom bears resemblance to the real lives of the persons portrayed.

Individual needs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations are projected onto persons in the public limelight. It is part of the marketing strategy to remain a talking point, with tidbits of information on the private lives being fed to the yellow press at timed intervals.

The projection of hopes and dreams

The result is that the addictive consumer of gossip press knows more about some distant movie star or royal family member than about their immediate family or friends.  Sadly, they become so engrossed with the life of a complete stranger that they forget to live their own life.

There seems to be almost a masochistic indulgence in the rise and fall of some famous rock legend, movie, or sports star. Nothing seems to provide the yellow press with so much “Schadenfreude” as to elevate a superstar to a “God” and then to do everything possible to oust them from the throne.

There are indeed rare historical examples of leaders who never set a foot wrong and through their life of service become a game-changer for generations afterward. Queen Elizabeth’s vow to serve was made in a famous speech in Cape Town on her 21st birthday.

Nelson Mandela committed his life to the struggle for a non-racial democratic  South Africa. Just prior to being sentenced to life imprisonment by the apartheid government in 1961, he said:

“The struggle is my life. I will continue fighting for freedom until the end of my days.”

Eleanor Roosevelt,  working tirelessly in the background of her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s presidency, campaigned for the rights of women in the workplace and the civil rights of African Americans.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give,” she said in one of her most famous quotes.

Spiritual leaders made the ultimate sacrifice

Many of the world’s greatest spiritual leaders gave the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus was crucified on the cross. During the Middle Ages the Mystics and religious leaders Giordano Bruno, Jan Hus, Joan of Arc, and Marguerite Porete were burned at the stake for heresy like tens of thousands of others.

In an age where personal material gratification and narcissism have become the norm, a “life dedicated to service” has become an almost archaic term from bygone times.

It is no coincidence that a culture of narcissism is interlinked to the epidemic rise in depression. Disappointment, grievance, and loss of self-esteem are inevitable when the drumbeat of the cultural message is all external. Meaning and value are defined according to “fame parameters” such as the number of social media followers, material possessions, and particular definitions of physical beauty.

An antidote to depression?

A life of service is one of the best antidotes to depression. Studies reveal that people doing volunteer work in their community and who have a life philosophy based on serving something that far outweighes their individual needs are more successful, happier, and contented human beings.

It is why some of the world’s wealthiest people have become the world’s greatest philanthropists, using their wealth as their tool of destiny for the betterment of society.

Analysis of three waves of data from the Americans’ Changing Lives data set (1986, 1989, 1994) reveals that volunteering lower depression levels, especially for those over the age of 65. An Irish study concluded that volunteer work and as a result social connectedness improved mental health. Helping others gives a sense of meaning and purpose.

Even the Royal Family has been skillful in crafting its public image to counter growing sentiment questioning the meaning of having a monarchy. Yet, it is obvious that like Lady Diana, the Queen has touched the hearts of millions of people with small, simple gestures of kindness and compassion.

The simple things and their compound effect ultimately make all the difference in building a better world, something the Queen had obviously understood and is the message that has resounded with so many during these past days.

In a Christmas broadcast in 2002 the Queen said: “Our modern world places such heavy demands on our time and attention that the need to remember our responsibilities to others is greater than ever.” 

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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To be seen and to be heard

The other day I observed a couple in a hotel with a baby in a pram crying incessantly while the parents were seemingly unconcerned and tapping away on their smartphones. A basic human need to be seen and to be heard was not being met.

A cuddle and some comforting words by one of the parents would in my mind have soon stopped the child from crying. While babies can only make their needs felt in one way it doesn’t get more complicated when we get to be adults.

It’s not a big surprise that restaurants and other businesses in the hospitality industry are having great difficulty finding staff. Customers are all too often downright rude. It has become so bad that some establishments have had to put up signs appealing to customers to treat their staff with respect.

The grievance culture

We have a grievance culture fanned by political demagogues, certain media outlets, and social media. At the receiving end are often the people who least deserve it. I have enormous admiration for staff in hotels, airlines, and restaurant businesses who remain friendly and courteous in jobs that are badly paid and receive little to no recognition from customers and management.

Lack of recognition and validation from supervisors is also one of the main reasons why highly-skilled and trained staff are quitting their jobs or going into early retirement. Leaders often lack basic soft skills. It doesn’t take much to publicly praise a staff member for work well done. A kind word or compliment will instantly make a person light up and smile.

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

Most employees are demotivated

It’s hardly a surprise that only 15 percent of the global workforce feel motivated in their jobs, according to a Gallup poll. This means that a staggering 85 percent of the workforce is unhappy in their job. Most employees suffer in silent misery counting the months and years when they can finally go into retirement and start living.

When an employee isn’t in agreement with a company’s mission and vision or is stifled in his creativity by micro-management the result is obvious. There will be a higher percentage of absenteeism, engagement, and work performance. It is estimated that in the United States alone over 450 billion dollars in losses are recorded annually due to unmotivated employees.

Leading by example

It doesn’t have to stay that way. Choosing the right leaders for key positions in a company can make a huge difference. Some of the key qualities of a good leader are:

  • Leading by example
  • Empathy
  • Accountability
  • The ability to express appreciation and gratitude

All too often however we have the typical narcissist chosen for leadership positions and even being elected to lead a country. With their self-centeredness, arrogance, and lack of empathy they can cause immense damage. They are simply incapable of expressing gratitude or giving recognition because they feel this might diminish their own glory.

But responsibility also starts with the individual taking responsibility. If you keep on blaming the government, your employer, your spouse, or your family for everything that has gone wrong in your life, you are not confronting the fear that is blocking you from making the necessary changes.

As Harvard professor and economist Clayton Christensen is quoted as saying: “Motivation is the catalyzing ingredient for every successful innovation.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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Filed under mental health, mental-health