Author Archives: Reino Gevers

About Reino Gevers

Author, mentor and trainer

Mastering your emotions

Human relationships are extraordinarily complex and wrought with conflict as we soon realize when we are forced to spend time with people we would never have chosen as friends.

What emotions do you trigger in people?

There are people whose company we enjoy and there are people that make us feel uncomfortable as soon as they enter the room.  Mostly it is about what emotions they trigger within us. Sometimes our mere presence might trigger the demons within another person.

Our narcissistic culture is encouraging the right to vent and rant. Its why we are seeing so much online bullying that is causing great suffering and pain, especially among teenagers.

Putting the need to vent above the relationship

When one person in a relationship puts the need to vent over the impact this has on the long-term relationship, the consequences are inevitable.  A petty difficulty becomes a problem and the downward spiral begins.

The art is to learn mastery over negative thoughts and emotions, and to be giving, kind and living a meaningful, purposeful life.

Awareness is the first step

The root cause of an angry outburst often has its origins in an old pain that has not been transmuted. Leaving the “blame-game” and entering the process of self-reflection sadly mostly only begins after divorce, separation and other trauma.

Becoming aware of what emotion surfaces in any situation is always the first step to self-awareness. What makes me so sad, and so angry? What am I really angry about? Is it about the spilled milk or does that emotion go deeper? It is helpful in such a situation to focus on breathing. Inhale and exhale a few times before you respond to that hurtful email message.

Tapping is another good method of not losing self-love and respect despite being in a cycle of negative emotions. For me,  “Deep Walking”  in nature is one of the best ways of shedding those negative shackles that lie embedded in the subconscious.

Negative people are masters at manipulation!

Negative people are powerful manipulators. They feed on the drama they trigger and the attention from being the talk of the day.

In being human, we all have bad moments whether we are rich, famous, poor, beautiful or just ordinary.  The difference between the happy, successful people and those that are in a permanent cycle of negativity is the ability to transmute every experience and to move on in the understanding that life is cyclical.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)
https://www.reinogevers.com

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Deep Walking to the inner self

Walking the Camino in Spain is a profound experience and many pilgrims have turned their daily journals into books.  Why another Camino book? It was a question I also asked myself before starting my second book on the Camino.

It is almost three decades ago that the actress Shirley Maclean chronicled her pilgrimage in “The Camino: A Journey of the Spirit.”  For Maclean, who was in her 60s at the time, the Camino was an intense spiritual and physical challenge with her journey also taking her back to past lives.

Paulo Coelho, one of the world’s most influential authors, wrote  “The Pilgrimage” in 1986 after walking to Santiago, inspiring numerous people to walk the Camino. German comedian Harpe Kerkeling’s “I’m Off Then: Losing and Finding Myself on the Camino de Santiago followed with his bestseller in 2006.

Some of the world’s greatest artists found inspiration on long walks

After walking my twelfth Camino in 2017, I delved into more research and was surprised to find that some of the world’s most creative and talented artists, including Johann Christian Bach, William Blake, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau explored their inner worlds on long walks.

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When a hike turns into a pilgrimage

Several of the many pilgrims I met during my walks said that they started their journey on the Camino as a hike and ended it as a pilgrimage.

In a world of constant digital distraction, the search for new spiritual meaning by “knowing and embracing the true self has become a matter of survival.”  I hope to inspire people to explore their inner world while deep walking in nature.

Walking “things off” in releasing the shadow and hurts of the past, gradually opens the cracks to the soul. By healing the inner we heal the outer. Walking is not only the most effective and underrated form of exercise but can be a real walk to spiritual renewal.

When nature whispers to the soul

Deep Walking on a pilgrimage is not just a walk.  Walking on paths where pilgrims have walked for centuries works on many subtle levels.

A pilgrimage walk is a mindful becoming aware of the simplicity with which nature can heal and whisper to the soul.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Who are you letting into your home?

Business person looking at wall with light tunnel opening

There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child. “Ubuntu” is an ancient African term meaning  ‘humanity to others’ because it is those “others” who have made you into that individual who you are.

It means the persons you surround yourself with make you into the person who you are. The village, the individual and the tribe are ONE. So it is worth reflecting on who those five people are who you are letting into your “house.”

Who is supporting and uplifting you?

It will determine how upbeat, optimistic, healthy and successful you are. Are you surrounded by people who are supportive of you on your soul path or do you have people around you who use every opportunity to pull you down?

It is worth reflecting every now and then on those five people who really appreciate and serve you. As you disassociate and realign yourself you will inevitably be confronted by push back.

Is your guest trampling all over your carpet?

So how do I determine who is good for me and who isn’t?  How do I know that the person I let into my home is not going to “trample over my clean white carpet with dirty feet?”

And, it’s basically quite simple:

  • Do you constantly feel drained and emotionally exhausted after spending time with a particular person or a group of people?
  • Have you had this feeling for some time that a relationship is one-sided?
  • Are your conversations with that person or persons centered mainly around negative issues?

If so, it is high time to start disassociating yourself and to move on.

Surround people who emanate kindness and good energy

Open yourself to those people, who, when entering a room, emanate an aura of good energy. I admit those people are few and far between. Most of us are so preoccupied with our own baggage and issues that we no longer notice the true nature of the people around us. True, we cannot always be upbeat. That is not what life is about. Its how we deal on a day to day basis with our ups and downs in the knowledge that nothing stays permanent.

Life is impermanent

All great teachers of Mysticism will tell you that the art of happiness is the ability and wisdom to accept life’s preciousness in the here and now. Impermanence is one of life’s great lessons. Ask anyone who has suddenly lost a loved one, gone through a traumatic divorce or been confronted with a life-changing situation, like losing all one’s savings on the stock market.

The only truth is that life is a constant flow of yin and yang, birth and death, light and shadow, good and evil, expansion and withdrawal. Sorrow, grief, and despair are as much part of life as happiness, joy and exultation or loss and abundance. The discipline of the inner mind and thought process by means of meditation, the body arts or other rituals will help us deal with this ebb and flow.

What we can control is the practice of mind-setting, the choice of the people we surround ourselves with and who we invite into “our holy chambers.”

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Becoming into Happiness

After the pilgrimage, a new journey begins. For some pilgrims adapting to the daily treadmill of life become almost unbearable after experiencing a walk that has shifted key perspectives on life.

Placing the ladder against the wrong wall

Many of the pilgrims you meet on the Camino find themselves at the crossroads of making major life decisions, after realizing that for most of their lives they had placed their ladder up against the wrong wall.

Most people appear to be unhappy in their jobs, relationships and how they live. Life is a constant rollercoaster of change and much of the dissatisfaction stems from the sadness over what was and is no more or in settling for a compromise of an unfulfilling status quo.

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When personal values are in conflict with what you do

Work procedures in the big corporations are standardized globally, leaving little room for individual creativity and cultural differences. People with few or no social skills, who lack even the most rudimentary traits needed in motivating and creating winning teams, are appointed as leaders.

In a dysfunctional institution personal values and aspirations of the employees are often in conflict with the primary objectives of the establishment.

A banker quits his job because he cannot in good conscience sell certain products to his customers; an executive in a car factory leaves shortly before a promotion because the pressure was just getting too much, and he had no more time to spend with his family.

That which holds you in bondage prevents you from rising to a higher frequency of a raised consciousness and fulfilling your soul purpose.

Sometimes you just need to let go of the house you lived in for many years, the job that has become too stressful for your health and the toxic associations that keep you in an uncomfortable “comfort zone,” preventing you from living out your dream

We are here to become who we are meant to be

It is in becoming our true self that we discover the sense of meaning and belonging. We are here to develop and grow our consciousness—to become aware of the greater reality. It is part of what the evolutionary program demands of us.

Project yourself ahead in a time machine where you see yourself rocking in an armchair well into your 80s, looking back on your life. What are your greatest regrets? What are the chances missed? Probably the greatest sin would have been a life passed without even attempting the greatest dreams and following the true destiny. If only I had…

Going the route of constant self-development, self-reflection, and spiritual growth is immensely rewarding. It is one of the keys to living a purposeful and happy life.

Slowing down and perceiving the whisper of the soul

But you will never discover your true calling if you don’t slow down so that you can listen to the whisperings of the soul.

Body and mind have an infinite capacity for change and renewal. It is never too late. All the skin in the body is replaced every two to three weeks. The liver renews itself at least once every couple of years and the skeleton once every ten years.

But trauma and toxic emotions can hold you captive for decades, preventing you from moving forward and “becoming” your true self.

Thought discipline is a practice 

Stress and fear start with a thought. But the solution to a problem has never come from running thoughts and monkeys in the head. These are dark imaginary creations of the mind. Yet the mind has enormous power to create in every direction.

Thought discipline can be practiced. It is normal for negative thoughts, old anger and fears to surface when we walk alone. Replacing that dark thought with a positive thought such as gratitude is the first step in the right direction.

With gratitude comes the wisdom that in the bigger picture there is grace—the grace that we are part of a bigger matrix, that everything has meaning, that we are born to learn, grow, and to become.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Walking to the truth within

A great dilemma of our time is that we are having to deal almost continuously with the distractive pull of a culture obsessed with the immediate gratification of the senses and the illusion that an accumulation of things brings happiness.

The imbalance between wanting to fulfill the needs of the external world and bringing that into synchronicity with the inner truth and the needs of the soul creates an almost unbearable tension that many people try to suppress with substance abuse and other obsessive behaviors.

The hungry ghosts of the external world

Behind the insatiable appetite of the hungry ghosts is embedded the fear of never having enough and that someone might want to take away what I already have. It is the hungry ghosts that drive our culture into destroying our habitat for future generations and it is the hungry ghosts that create an atmosphere of xenophobia toward people who are different from us.

The state of our world is merely an expression of the turmoil within. Hope, however, springs that a small but growing minority of people are taking that walk within to their truth and spiritual authenticity.

The Camino is a symbol of the search for new spiritual meaning

The Camino pilgrimage path in northwestern Spain has become a symbol of this search for new meaning. When walking away from the distractions of the external world the inner world starts revealing itself. It is why so many people who started the walk as a hike end up walking it as a pilgrim.  Last year a total of 320,000 pilgrims walked the Camino, another record, that is likely to be broken this year.

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Happiness is a state of mind

It is fascinating to watch first-time pilgrims very often starting their walk with too much clutter in their backpacks and then realizing after a few days that they don’t need most of the things.

One of the great blessings in walking the Camino is the realization that happiness is a state of mind that comes with the discovery of the inner authenticity, and literally walking away from the pull of the external world. A great way of starting the day is a gratitude ritual. The antidote to the pull of the hungry ghost is feeling a real appreciation for the moment and what is.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Relationships define who you are

We are part of a matrix of relationships. Who we are is determined from early childhood by our associations with the people closest to us.

“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” The saying was first coined by the American coach, speaker, and author Jim Rohn.

We share the same dress code, values, and mannerisms

Close friends and marriage partners are known to share each other’s views and values, dress code, and even mannerisms.

The energy frequency on which we are moving determines who we make friends with and want to spend time with.

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Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Everything is relationship. When we are born the closest relationship is with the mother. It evolves from there to the forming of identity and self in puberty, when part of the process is rejecting everything the parental generation stands for.

Relationships find themselves on many different levels of interaction.  Family members and working colleagues are not a choice.  But in most other cases we have the freedom to choose who we want to spend most of our time with. The image of self is colored by external influences and what society seemingly expects from us.  Few people know who they really are and what their innermost needs are.

We are part of a web of different relationships

Who are you in the gigantic web of living beings on earth? What is your relationship to your physical self and the external world around you? How we treat the earth is very much a reflection on how we treat ourselves.

A loving and caring identity to self, freed from the debris of the past, reflects on nearly all our relationships, whether to a beloved one or to friends and family.

Animals are naturally bound to the universal matrix with a sixth sense, reacting extremely sensitively to changes in the environment. Historians recorded that animals including rats, snakes, and weasels deserted the Greek city of Helice in 373 B.C. days before an earthquake devastated the area (National Geographic, Nov. 11, 2003).

Eyewitness accounts of the 2004 tsunami in Southeast Asia reported elephants moving to higher ground, dogs refusing to leave their shelters and flamingoes abandoning low-lying breeding grounds.

Dogs can pick up olfactory cues from humans (New Scientist, Oct. 19, 2007), even smelling emotions such as fear and aggression. Dog owners have always known this and science is increasingly proving them right.

The relationship to Self and God

A pilgrimage walk is very much a discovery of relationship to self, to God or the universal intelligence. Some pilgrims describe it like a walk home as awareness grows that we are not alone and that we can go into trust.

German philosopher Martin Buber in his book Ich und Du (translated as I and Thou) finds that human life essentially finds meaning and purpose in relationships.

In this view all our relationships ultimately bring us into relationship with God or our Creator.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(This is an extract of my next book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” scheduled for publication later this year)

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Walking into authenticity

A pilgrimage walk is so much more than an ordinary hike, working on many subtle levels, that may trigger a changed perspective and a complete realignment of emotional, physical and spiritual needs.

Walking the Camino is a walk into authenticity when the whispers from the inner voice gradually become heard as with every step more distance is created from the pull of the external distractions of the daily treadmill.

Moving to a higher energy level

From my own observations, I would say that most people are living lives in which they suffer in a quiet misery of unhappy jobs, dysfunctional relationships and other unfulfilled needs that come when the mind is focused too much on external rather than internal needs.

A combination of a daily dosage of junk foods, a mind fed with negative gossip and emotional drama, a sedentary lifestyle, an imbalanced stress, and recuperation cycle, inevitably lead to a downward energy spiral.

Finding that momentum to change an unhappy situation

Over the years it then becomes that much more difficult to find enough energy for the momentum to change an unhappy situation, especially when it comes to taking that first step in changing bad food habits, doing a regular exercise routine or morning ritual.

When you are on a pilgrimage walk, you simply have to keep going. Once you are on the path the pull to complete it is very strong. Other pilgrims will give you that extra bit of encouragement when you are having a down moment.

Walking off old emotional baggage

Especially during the early stages of the walk, there will be mornings when every muscle in the body is aching and feet are blistered.  You may be asking: “Why am I doing this?” But gradually the walk becomes easier, the load from a backpack less heavy, and the motivation to reach the destination that much bigger.

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It is a huge reward when you actually start feeling so much better, physically and emotionally.  It is part of the detox, the walking off of old emotional baggage, that is part of the Camino experience.

By the time you have walked three or four weeks on your pilgrimage retreat, your energy frequency inevitably rises. This becomes noticeable in the resonance with people that have a positive mindset.  You might find stray dogs or cats following you, a bird singing at you from a breakfast table or complete strangers greeting you and starting a conversation. You will also become more aware of the beauty of your surroundings.

Taking time out for realignment

Over the years I’ve tried fitting in a pilgrimage retreat into my schedule every year. It has been life-changing. Modern lives have become exceedingly stressful with the emotions of pain and fear dictating the daily narrative. The uncertainty that comes with exceptional economic and social changes is making many people ill.

More than ever, therefore, we need those time out retreats for inner realignment for those age-old questions seeking answers: Where do I come from? Where am I going? Am I leaving a positive footprint for future generations? The sense of purpose reveals itself in the authentic self.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

https://www.reinogevers.com

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