Monthly Archives: May 2020

Have we lost the ability to communicate?

The current wave of protests against lockdown regulations is indicative of how deeply divided our societies have become. There is a dangerous groundswell of anger easily manipulated by professional deceivers and political demagogues.

Donna parla con lettere su sfondo biancoWith a presidential election coming up in the United States the dividing lines between Democrats and Republicans have never been bigger and more dangerous. If even the wearing of masks becomes a political issue there is a problem.  Be prepared for a very dirty election with global implications.

The trigger words that end “communication”

A normal conversation quickly gets out of hand when trigger words such as “vaccination”, “Trump”, “climate change”, “migrants”, or “Bill Gates” are thrown in. One of the side-effects of lockdown has been that millions of people have not only been locked in their homes but also in their belief systems in scouring the Internet to confirm existing beliefs.

Conventional religion and other institutions formed for a long time the cornerstones and value systems of societies. These have steadily lost influence in the competition for instant gratification. The hypocrisy of institutionalized religion has not helped either with millions of faithful turning either to fundamentalism or pseudo-religion.

Pseudo-beliefs filling the void of religion 

The search for meaning and soul purpose has never been greater. But as humanity moves to higher consciousness, the walk over the hot coals has also become very painful. We are at the crossroads with humankind either falling back into the spiral of fear-based radicalism or moving forward into a restorative, sustainable future where diversity is respected and tolerated.

We will have to learn to communicate again. Communication is not a one-way street of blasting a tweet, or an Instagram post.  Social media has become the rocket fuel of narcissism.  Somewhere along the process of transmission the concept of real  “sharing” of ideas, opinions, facts, and values has been left by the wayside.

We have become so obsessed with our ego-centered own opinion and “belief” that we have lost the ability to listen.  Narcissists are masters in denialism and creating their own truth. They will never admit to human fallibility.

But it is only through the admission of vulnerability and fallibility that we open the realm to listening, asking the who, what, where, when, and why? This is where we learn, adapt, revise, and grow as human beings.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

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Joseph and the power of forgiveness

Are you struggling to forgive yourself and others? The biblical story of Joseph is one of the most powerful teachings of how the ways of the universe or God can be very different from the plans we often make in life.

Joseph was slandered, beaten, and sold into slavery by his own brothers because of jealousy. Joseph could have easily succumbed to his fate but he never lost faith that everything in life had purpose and meaning.

slavery

Photo by Hussain Badshah on Unsplash

The trap of the blame game

Only from such a perspective could he forgive his brothers and move out of the trap of the blame game. He made the best out of his situation to such an extent that Potiphar, the man who bought him on the slave market in Egypt, soon promoted him to a higher position. Later he was put in charge of managing Potiphar’s huge estate.

Potiphar had taken a liking to Joseph and must have been impressed by his kindness, wisdom, and humility. For all intents and purposes, Joseph had made it. But Potiphar’s bored wife had taken just as much a liking to the handsome young Joseph. Realizing that he would betray his master who had done so much for him, Joseph avoided the advances of Potiphar’s wife who became so upset that she accused him of rape. Joseph was thrown into prison losing everything. He could again have succumbed to despondency.

But it so happens that he meets in prison two of the Pharaoh’s ministers who had lost favor with the ruler. One of them was eventually released from prison and restored to his old position. Only when the Pharaoh had a strange dream did the minister remember the time in prison with Joseph who had impressed him as an interpreter of dreams. Long story short, Joseph gets released from prison to interpret the Pharaoh’s dream. The essence of the dream was that the ruler had to prepare the country for seven years of drought. Amazingly Joseph’s fortune changed in an instant when the Pharaoh recognized the wisdom of the man he was dealing with.  Joseph gets made viceroy of all of Egypt as the righthand man of the most powerful ruler of the world at the time.

Life comes in strange twists and turns

True to the dream interpretation the drought did come and only by wise management of the food and grain resources could countless lives be saved including those of Joseph’s brother and aging father Jacob.

Life comes often in strange twists and turns. Fortunes can be earned and lost overnight. High positions of political power and influence may be gone tomorrow. The amazing story of Joseph is that he never lost trust and faith. By forgiving his brothers and Potiphar’s wife for falsely accusing him, he made peace with himself and could go into trust and humility. From that energy grew his wisdom and incredible foresight to prevent a catastrophe.

Forgiving does not mean approval of wrongdoing

Forgiving does not mean that you are approving of wrongdoing, of abuse, and all the terrible things that humans do to each other. It is making peace with the past in the knowledge that you are the person today because of all of that which you have experienced. The famous Austrian psychiatrist Victor Frankl only survived the Nazi death camps by telling himself that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s one way.”

Nelson Mandela was often asked why he did not seek retribution from the white apartheid rulers who imprisoned him for 27 years. His answer: “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear. That’s why it’s such a powerful weapon.”

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

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The trap of the tribal bubble

Tumultuous change is accompanied by fear and anxiousness. It is fertile ground for the professional deceivers and populist leaders touting easy solutions to complex problems as we are currently seeing in the Covid-19 pandemic.

Only a few weeks ago none of us would have predicted that the world would come to a standstill as a result of a virus.  Amid the uncertainty,  we are hearing countless conspiracy theories, obvious falsehoods, lies, and disinformation – some of it even spread by governments to deflect from their own failings and chaotic crisis management.

Guarding the mind against distraction and confusion

During such times it is vital to guard the mind against the floodgates of negativity and toxic emotion. It is easy to fall into the trap of the tribal bubble. By this, I mean that you have a thought. That thought is confirmed by finding information in search engines that will confirm that thought. That thought then becomes a belief when the mind is closed to all other information or facts. The belief has so much become part of the tribal identity that any other information that threatens this identity is perceived as a threat. A conversation or meaningful debate becomes impossible with a person living in a tribal bubble.

What are the facts?

It the current situation it is best to go with the obvious known facts. Where does the information come from? Who said it? Does the source have a record of reliability and fact-checking?

We know that the virus spreads very rapidly. It affects mostly the elderly and people with a  weak immune system but there are also cases of fit and healthy young people who have died from the virus which cannot be explained. Was it correct to shut down the economy to save lives? You bet it was. Just compare the casualty figures of countries that listened to the scientists (South Korea, New Zealand, Taiwan and Germany) and those that remained locked in their political ideologies and responded far too late (the United States, Britain, Brazil, China and Russia).  The United States has the additional problem that response to the pandemic is hampered by the divisive partisan politics.

When belief becomes part of self and ego

Political ideology has all the trappings of a pseudo-religion. It’s either black or white. A religious cult has the philosophy of either you believe what we tell you to or you are eternally damned. Ideology is spiked with divisive hate language and blaming others.

When you live in a tribal bubble you will listen only to those people, and media outlets that share your opinion. You have a fixed belief and it becomes part of the ego and the self. Different opinions, irrefutable evidence, and scientific fact are slated as “fake news” because they threaten the image of a false identity that has been created. If there is no willingness to even listen or to discern between the opinion and the humanity of the other, the inevitable result is confusion about common values that solidify society.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

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Dealing with fear and anger

The only certainty in life is that change is a constant

– Heraclitus-

Anger is a close ally of fear. With many countries going into their second month of Covid-19 lockdown the strain is beginning to show with spontaneous angry protests in several bigger cities over the weekend.

We are currently experiencing a defining moment in history.  Our world will never be the same again.  During the first stage of a tumultuous change, there is often resistance and denial. Then comes fear. Terrible decisions are made when we are in a hurry and under stress. The reason is simple:

When you are in a state of fear and stress the body is flooded with stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Blood vessels contract, your heartbeat starts racing, the body is in fear and flight mode. The fear reaction in the brain’s amygdala is triggered even before you have time to process and think rationally.

Solutions are found with a relaxed mind

The prefrontal cortex of the brain has no time to process what is happening. In a relaxation mode, the prefrontal cortex can, however, perform its executive function in differentiating between conflicting thoughts and determining future consequences of current activities on a rational level. Solutions are found in an aligned and relaxed mode.

There are wonderful and simple methods of how you can lower your blood pressure and go back into a relaxed state of mind:

  • Emotional shifting is becoming aware of the emotion you are currently feeling. Is it fear, anger, grief, sadness? Define the emotion! Yes, I am afraid and anxious! Then find an image in your mind that can act as an antidote to that fear: A funny video, love for a person close to you, gratitude for all that is good in your life, a wonderful experience that you had recently.
  • When you are under duress it immediately shows in shortness of breath. Place your hands on your lower belly. At the count of one, you inhale, and at the count of one you exhale, feeling that exhaling feeling all the way down into your lower belly. Keep going at least until the count of 21.
  • Some countries are relaxing some of the restrictions, allowing people to go on walks. Take the opportunity and go for a walk in nature. Find a spot where you can tune your senses to a natural sound like the song of a bird or can hear the rustling of leaves in a tree.

How you start your day will determine your day. If you’ve had a bad night with monkeys dancing in your head, you can start with the emotional shift exercise, followed by the meditation. You can also practice a personal mantra. One of my favorites is:

Everything is Grace. Faith over Fear

Prayer is a powerful method of going beyond the self and finding solace, especially if you pray for others who are in a much worse position.

This time is a time that can be compared to winter. It is also a winter of the soul, a time of introspection where minds can go into silence.  The time of hibernation is lying low until the turbulence has passed and remain in trust. This too shall pass in a rebirth that is spring.
Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

https://www.reinogevers.com

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter and get my FREE Booklet, “Resilience: What makes you strong?

Gevers-DeepWalking CVR.indd               paperback_cover_1

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