Monthly Archives: March 2023

by | March 28, 2023 · 9:23 am

Life is not meant to be easy

“It’s the difficult years that make you ready for a phenomenal life.”
― Hiral Nagda

Our culture is obsessed with youth, happiness, and distraction. Much pain and suffering are caused when we compare ourselves with the “wonderful” lives most people seem to be leading when we read their posts on social media. Very few people admit publicly that they are going through a rough time.

Like the law of nature’s seasons, life goes through cycles of birth, maturity, decay, and death. Conflict, suffering, pain, problems and difficulties are as much part of life as bliss, joy, happiness and abundance.

Our ideas of suffering and pain stem much from religion. Most church-practiced Christianity, today has lost its way into an empty ritual. The earliest of Christian, Buddhist, Taoist, Judaic and other teachings were rooted in an archetypical reality and experiential spirituality.

Moving away from empty ritual

Post-reformation Christian teachings particularly emphasize the inherently “sinful” ways of man with Jesus having to sacrifice himself on the cross for the ultimate salvation of all of mankind. Unfortunately, it has led to some denominations and religions causing incalculable harm to the self-worth of many an individual with their definition of “sin” fixated on how to behave and what to believe.

In the archetypical and mystical traditions, the cross itself is deeply symbolic linking life on earth with the non-physical heavenly dimension. The above and below, the left and the right conjoined in the center signify the number five in numerology. The number 5 in the biblical sense symbolizes God’s grace, goodness, and favor toward humans. It is mentioned 318 times in the bible. In Judaism, there are five books of the Torah and the commandments were written five each on two tablets.

The deeper meaning of the crucifixion

The image of Jesus’ death on the Cross in a metaphysical sense represents the dying of personality and ego consciousness attached to form and the transition into Christ-consciousness of the immortal, the dissolving of the physical body into the resurrected spiritual body. It is a powerful image of a complete cleansing of the ego mind during suffering.

It is during these “flat-on-the-ground” moments, in the complete surrender of the mind that the gateway to the soul is ripped wide open. We are forced by the pain, the suffering, and the despair into deep introspection. Procrastination, lethargy, and comfort zones inevitably lead to stagnation, decay, and melancholy fixation on what was and is no more.

The Camino de Santiago: An analogy of life

The ancient pilgrimage route, the Camino de Santiago in northwestern Spain, has become so popular in recent years because more and more people are seeking a new spiritual truth. The 500-mile route traversed by pilgrims for centuries is very much an analogy of life. In the solitude of lonely walks, the climbing of mountains, and the physical and emotional pains experienced on the route many a pilgrim – after experiencing the trauma of divorce, loss, health crisis, or job burnout – finds liberation from all attachment and new purpose and meaning while walking. Sometimes the revelation happens on the path, sometimes months after the walk.

Leading French thinker and philosopher Frédéric Gros writes that “walking is exploring the mystery of presence. Presence to the world, to others, and to yourself… You discover when you walk that it emancipates you from space and time…”

Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying: “I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.”

You are passaging your path on the Camino of life “paso a paso” – step by step. On this path, you will be experiencing bad days and good days, realizing in that moment of crisis when you feel lonely, tired, and exhausted that “this too shall pass.” Ultimately you will be losing the fear of death when form passes into formlessness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | March 21, 2023 · 5:27 am

Debunking the myths on job burnout

Burnout is a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion after prolonged exposure to emotional or physical stressors. It can affect entire institutions and wreak havoc on personal lives to the extent that individuals in extreme cases are no longer able to cope with the challenges of a normal life.

But there appear to still be many myths around the topic, especially in the corporate world where those affected by job burnout are regarded as lacking in stress resilience.

Chronic burnout can include a high level of stress hormones such as glucocorticoids, catecholamines, and prolactin. These are needed for the body’s natural fight and flight response but if you have too much of them it can lead to serious health problems and even life-threatening diseases because vital organs don’t get the necessary nutrients.

Having spent more than half of my life in an employment capacity in the media industry, I went through the complete cycle of passionately enjoying my job to utter frustration and pulling the plug shortly before burnout.

One of the most common myths is that job burnout is related to work stress caused by short deadlines, overly high productivity demands, and unrealistic management or customer demands.

This is only part of the story. If you are passionate about your job and have a high degree of independence in deciding when to do what and for him, you will not perceive stress as such. Instead, you will feel pumped up, and energetically vibrant. We all know that feeling, of having accomplished something in a game or sporting event. It is the same feeling you will be getting if you truly feel that you are doing something that is aligned with your soul purpose.

The modern-day working place has become essentially dehumanized

Most corporate jobs have been dehumanized to such an extent that individuals find themselves stuck in big offices with several hundred other people. Furnishings are standardized and employees are prohibited from decorating their desk with personal items such as pics of their loved ones. Employees don’t burn out overnight. It is mostly a process lasting several years where employees consistently lose the sense of meaning for what they are doing and their personal value system is in disconnect from the values of the company.

In my case, I became a journalist in apartheid South Africa, feeling the need to give a voice to those suffering discrimination. Later , after joining an international news agency in Germany I was able to write extensively on topics close to my heart such as Third World and environmental issues. Journalism, in some media at least, was tasked with informing, educating and acting as a watchdog over those in power. The disillusion began when more and more media shifted from education to entertainment of the worst kind. Today we witness the absurdity of mass media clouding the minds of millions with information trash and gossip. It is much the same disconnect when a nurse or doctor is prescribed how much time they can spend with a patient or a social worker or a priest spends more time dealing with bureaucracy than with real people in need.

The body tells the truth

At some point your inner soul truth will send out warning signals that you have climbed up the wrong ladder. Your body reacts with sleepless nights, digestive problems or other ailments. But you will ignore those early warning signs and push them away until you can no longer ignore them or you have a life-threatening diagnosis that acts as a wake-up call where you change everything.

Photo by Sachin C Nair on Pexels.com

Stress always starts with a thought until the thought gets trapped in the treadmill of the monkey mind in constant fear of what might happen in the future like losing your job. Work should be one of the most enjoyable things you do because you spend most of your life working. It makes an enormous difference to your overall happiness if you are working for a living or really enjoying what you are doing. In some cultures spared from the industrial revolution, people still work sixteen-hour days. But it could also be argued that they never work. Daily chores, family life, and free time are closely intertwined.

According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” the more a job inherently resembles a game – “with variety, appropriate and flexible challenged, clear goals, and immediate feedback – the more enjoyable it will be regardless of the worker’s level of development.”

As human beings we evolve and grow with the challenge, the resistance, the problems and the transmuting thereof.

Mental and physical exhaustion seems to lie more in the employee’s relation to the job, how he/she perceives personal goals in relation to it.

Burnout and shift in consciousness

Burnout can be addressed with a shift in consciousness. Conflict at the workplace often arises when there is poor leadership. Employees are not trusted in doing what they can as best as they can. Better communication, better organization, delegation of responsibility and improved self-care habits can do much to alleviate internal and external stressors.

If you spend most of your leisure time in the passive consumption of negativity on mass media, it will absorb a large portion of your lifeblood and energy. You will be much more happy and content in spending quality time with good friends, family and community.

At the job many people experience the opportunity of using their skillset. They are challenged and validated and this will make them feel happy, strong and satisfied. Paradoxically while spending their free time these same people will feel sad, weak and dull because of the way they are spending their time.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | March 14, 2023 · 7:25 pm

Your community: A key to healthy living

When scientists first published their studies on the earth’s five blue zones where people live the longest most follow-up reports picked up on the nutritional aspect. But a common denominator less debated was that people in all the five regions felt a strong sense of belonging and purpose within healthy and supportive communities.

We are hard-wired as social beings. The people we surround ourselves with have a much higher impact on our health and happiness than previously thought. Your tribe can either pull you down or lift you up. (see my previous blog)

Creating strong social networks

Strong community ties are key to longevity, according to Dan Buettner, author of “The Blue Zones”. The five blue zones were identified as communities living in Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California.

The Okinawans, for example, are known to create strong social networks that provide financial and emotional support to their community members.  

Good communities prescribe healthy habits

People in longevity cultures socialize with one another, reinforcing prescribed behaviors such as adopting good nutritional habits and exercise.

Sardinians and many Mediterranean cultures end their day in the local bar where they meet friends and family. Village festivals and harvests require all members of the community to participate.

Professor Lisa Berkman of Harvard University did a nine-year study in which she found that the impact of marital status, friendships, and the level of voluntary work in clubs or associations all had an impact on how well people age.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

But how do I identify and become a member of a healthy tribe:

  • The people you most associate with in your inner circle should be people who uplift, validate, and support you emotionally.
  • Avoid people who are notoriously focused on the negative and emanate permanent grumpiness. Buettner writes in “The Blue Zones. “Of the centenarians interviewed there wasn’t a grump in the bunch… Likable old people are more likely to have a social network, frequent visitors, and de facto caregivers.”
  • Spending time together each day with a positive activity such as walking can make a hugely positive impact on your life. Frédéric Gros, a professor of walking, says: “Walking is exploring the mystery of presence. Presence to the world, to others and to yourself… You discover when you walk that it emancipates you from space and time, from… vitesse.” So-called “philosophy walks” are designed to stimulate deeper thinking while out walking in nature. 

Some people might argue that maintaining a strong family bond is good for you. But for some people sharing time with their biological families makes them feel unhappy, stressed, and unhappy. Human families are extremely complex and interactive.

Whether it’s your biological family or your chosen tribe or community. It should give you a sense of fulfillment, happiness, and a generally positive feeling of being liked and accepted just as you are with all your light, shadow, and uniqueness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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by | March 7, 2023 · 7:24 am

Is your tribe pulling you down?

Imagine human life eons ago when small communities mainly lived in caves. Exclusion from the protection of the community meant certain death from wild animals or the cold. It is part of our DNA to be seen and validated by those closest to us. It gives us that sense of belonging. But what if your tribe is pulling you down from your true destiny?

We have all at some point in our lives felt the devastating feeling of loneliness and fear that comes with bullying and emotional abuse, either by close family members, fellow students at school, or on social media. Compromise after compromise is made to please our tribe, to the point where we are denying our very essence.

The urge to serve family and community is deeply ingrained. It gives purpose and meaning. Conforming to the rules, habits, opinions, and beliefs of those closest to us is the glue that cements the tribal bonds. In the Iberian peninsular, where I live, ancient rituals are very much part of the common bond. Village festivals and the singing and dancing at these celebrations are very much part of daily life.

In loving, functional communities people take care of each other. Elderly people find respect and help. Raising and educating children is seen as not only a parental but a communal responsibility. People can depend on each other when in need.

The Spanish town of Najera celebrating its history with an open-air theatre performance

In our narcissistic culture individual needs have however very much taken precedence over the needs of the village community. The tribe is mainly a virtual one with members defining their rituals and sharing information online. Where in the past the tribe was limited to a few dozen people, it can today be millions. Rumor and gossip that was at most shared in the village could in today’s world be read by millions of people in many parts of the world. Many a famous person can testify to the devastating effect fake news or online bullying has had on their lives.

Toxic emotions cloud reality

While love and empathy enrich human life on all levels, the opposite unfortunately is also true. The shadow side of human nature can easily be manipulated by the emotions of hate, fear, and anxiety. Dark emotions can completely cloud the perception of reality which is why it is such a powerful manipulative tool in the hands of cult leaders and political demagogues. You might not even notice that you have become part of a deeply dysfunctional tribe as you find every excuse possible to justify the actions of the captain steering the ship toward the iceberg.

As you elevate to higher consciousness in training your awareness and sense of presence, you will inevitably find members of your tribe trying to pull you back down to the lower vibrational frequency. Tribes don’t tolerate behavior or attitudes that differ from the tribal norms. They define themselves in “separateness” from the other and no better way to do that is by making the other tribe your sworn enemy. An enemy cannot be loved and needs to be crushed and eliminated. There is no better way to cement tribal bonds than to have a common enemy.

What is a healthy tribe?

Dysfunctional families, football teams, companies, and even nations ultimately destroy themselves because they have not understood the principle of life and creation. All of life exists in a complex web of inter-relationship and co-dependency. Healthy nations and tribes cooperate with each other for the greater benefit of all.

Fascism feeds on hate, division, and destruction of everything that does not comply with its own ideology and belief. The opposite of fascism is holistic by nature in practicing compassion, liberty, and freedom for all.

If you belong to a healthy tribe you are one of the lucky few. People will see who you are. They will support and celebrate your victories and accomplishments together with you. They will validate you wherever possible. Criticism will come in a positive helpful way out of mutual respect. It is what the tribal chiefs of the most highly successful companies have understood. If you treat your employees with respect and dignity your business will flourish because customers and business partners just enjoy doing business with people who have good vibes.

The negative emotions of hate, anger and fear will make you sick while positive feelings such as empathy, compassion, elatedness, freedom, and humaneness have multiple positive effects on body, mind, and soul. Thought leader Jim Rohn once famously said that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. Sometimes it is necessary to take a long hard look at the people you spend most of your time with and to set boundaries for your own health.

If you have grown up in an emotionally neglected or abusive family or your current family or “friendship” tribe is dysfunctional, it might just be time to move on as a matter of urgency and survival. Loyalty to a tribe should not stand in your way to living a life of happiness and bliss. You have been given the power of choice. You can choose to have a different tribe.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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