Category Archives: Uncategorized

Are you living someone else’s life?

Are you living through a life of a celebrity and forgetting to live your own life? Millions of people around the globe were glued for hours each day to the live coverage of the recent court drama between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

The business model of certain mass media is to elevate normal people like you and me to “God-like status” for the particular field they are successful at and then relish in their fall from grace with every detail of their shortcomings and failings.

The dynamics of the Depp and Amber relationship not only seems to have stirred a dark underside of their respective characters but resonated with something in the shadow of the collective consciousness.

We have the perfect Hollywood couple falling in love. It’s a paradise world where they have everything going for them – youthful beauty, fame, beautiful homes, and travelling to the most exotic places of the world in private jets. Then the curtain falls revealing a world of brutal accusations and counter accusations – a couple literally creating their own version of hell.

External success is no guarantee for happiness

What does that tell us? No matter what status, wealth and fame you have, it is no guarantee for happiness. “Both heaven and hell lie in your own mind. As heaven is your good memories and hell is your bad memories. Whether you want to enter into heaven or hell. It’s not at someone else hands. It’s your own choice,” according to Lord Robin.

Preoccupation with the lives of others is something we observe in village gossip, family drama and on the global stage. You can become so immersed with the life of another that you forget to live your own life. Celebrity worship syndrome (CWS) can become an obsessive addictive disorder. In extreme cases it results in stalking and in relatively mild cases regularly following a certain celebrity on social media.

Researchers in the United Kingdom have linked celebrity worship with higher levels of depression, anxiety and negative stress. Significant relationships were found between attitudes toward celebrities and body image among female adolescents.

We all have the same struggles, fears and anxieties

A big part of the problem is comparing one’s own unhappy and unfulfilled life with that of the celebrity who seemingly has everything that life has to offer. Such comparisons are based on illusion. On the material level certain individuals might live in completely different worlds. But on the consciousness level we are all humans with the same fears, anxieties, and emotional struggles.

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The journey of life is ultimately a journey in growth of consciousness. It is practise of presence and in becoming aware of what the Holy Oneness, the Universe, or God whispers to the soul.

You have been given the power of choice. What you feed your mind with, what programs you watch on television, what books you read and the people you choose to spend most of your time determine who you become. What daily habits you practise have a major outcome on the quality of your life. It is a life with a limited timeline that you won’t want to squander.

As a wise sage once said: “You have all the time in the world and yet you have no time to lose.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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The absent father and male mental health crisis

The latest mass shooting in the United States by a young male suspect in Buffalo, New York, again throws the spotlight on hate crime, and fanaticism. It is necessary to talk about how children, especially boys, grow up and what needs to be done to give them more emotional, psychological, and spiritual stability.

Criminologists Michael Gottfredson and Travis Hirschi, found the absence of fathers to be one of the most powerful predictors of crimes. The lack of social bonds and the absence of the “father figure” as a role model for sons, providing structure, authority, and discipline are attributed as some of the key attributes lacking in violent youth.

Researchers Dr. Warren Farrell and John Gray, authors of “The Boy Crisis”, postulate that boys who grow up with an absent father or who don’t have a healthy relationship with their fathers lack a role model for healthy masculinity.

The “purpose void” and ultramasculine role models

Boys’ old senses of purpose, being a warrior, a leader, or a sole breadwinner, are fading. Many bright boys are experiencing a “purpose void”, feeling alienated, withdrawn, and addicted to immediate gratification. Compounding this issue are addicting video games that lead to distraction and ADHD, according to Farrell and Gray.

As boys become young men, their suicide rates go from equal to girls to six times that of young women! Girls seem to outperform boys at every level from education to job performance.

In some cases, these boys then seek ultramasculine role models, feeling empowered by arming themselves with weapons and joining almost exclusively male extremist groups.

These young men appear to be especially drawn to demagogic macho role models offering simple solutions to their own feelings of inadequacy and discontent. Religious minorities, immigrants, or different race groups are targeted. An idealized, orderly state of the past is recalled. A dystopian future lies waiting, ruled by a “fatherly” figurehead in a reborn patriarchy.

How do we confront this poisoning of the mind?

It has to be said that many single mothers bravely and with much personal sacrifice manage to raise healthy, successful, and caring sons. But we do need to look at why most violent crime is committed by men. In the United States, more than nine times as many men (5,037,000) as women (581,000) had ever at one time been incarcerated in a prison. Men also experienced higher victimization rates than females for all types of violent crime.

It takes a village …

The African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child”, highlights the role of family and community in shaping the life of a child. A Swahili proverb takes a similar vein:  “Whomsoever is not taught by the mother will be taught with the world.”

It has always been one of the most challenging tasks to raise a child. It is why in traditional African culture this was always seen as a communal responsibility. In our modern cultures the single mother is left without a support structure, having to deal with the double burden of raising a child and earning a living. Apart from the Nordic and some European nations little to no support is provided by the state in terms of pre-school child care and education. Governments fail to realize that the long-term social costs are much higher than providing adequate child support in the first place.

Stress resilience and mental health are built in those strong communities where children are not only bonded to the primary family but to an extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and close friends. It’s where children learn social skills and values from role models who find sense of purpose in serving something greater than short-term self-gratification.

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Individual needs versus social and community needs

Our culture has lost its way in over-emphasizing individual needs over the needs of the community and society at large. It’s part of the spiritual disconnect where pseudo-religious groups are replacing institutional religion in the form of extremist political tribes.

From the perspective of the tribal bubble, anyone who looks, believes, and dresses differently is perceived as a threat. Dehumanizing all those who are different is a hallmark of all extremist, religious, and nationalist groupings. The threshold to taking a gun and shooting those who are different becomes very thin, because empathy is felt only to members of one’s own tribe.

Where there is a spiritual connection there is an understanding of purpose. Love is experienced as unconditional and the basis of all life. God is life and God finds expression in nature.

Nobel peace prize laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu is quoted as saying: “Instead of separation and division, all distinctions make for a rich diversity to be celebrated for the sake of the unity that underlies them. We are different so that we can know our need of one another.”

God’s garden has never been homogeneous stagnation. It is one of beauty inhabited by diverse species, cultures, colors, religions, and beliefs in constant interaction, and interdependence with each other. We define and grow our values, heritage, and culture in a dynamic exchange between opposites. You just need to study nature in order to understand your higher calling.

Experiential spirituality is learning to understand the deeper meaning of self and how your life and purpose is inextricably intertwined with that of the larger whole. True happiness and contentment is found within, undestanding who you are, and emanating that core authenticity outwardly in kindness, love and tolerance.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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Why are we so lazy?

While much of our attention during the past two years has focused on the pandemic when it comes to public health, there is a big elephant in the room when it comes to the global public health crisis that is stretching health budgets and affecting economic productivity in nearly every country.

Most of the common diseases such as obesity, diabetes 2, and several cancer forms are preventable and caused by lifestyle choices made on a daily basis. But why are we not addressing the obvious?

Just because a close family member has died from a terminal illness does not mean that you will at some point in your life suffer from the same condition. There is overwhelming evidence that lifestyle choices have a far greater impact on your overall health and longevity than genetics.

In the United States, the adult obesity rate for the first time in 2020 surpassed the 40 percent mark – an increase of 26 percent since 2008.

Worldwide obesity has nearly tripled since 1975, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). About 13 percent of the world’s adult population was listed as obese in 2016, and the tragedy is that it’s affecting more and more children from an early age.

It is just not talked about, but Covid-19 was particularly lethal in persons suffering from obesity and diabetes 2. The risk factor was significantly higher, even in persons who were moderately overweight.

In Obesity Reviews, an international team of researchers pooled data from scores of peer-reviewed papers capturing 399,000 patients. They found that people with obesity who contracted SARS-CoV-2 were 113% more likely than people of healthy weight to land in the hospital, 74% more likely to be admitted to an ICU, and 48% more likely to die.

Do you want to live to see your grandchildren grow up?

Our modern-day lifestyle choices are reducing the quality of life on multiple levels and will determine whether you can still see your grandchildren growing up. The economic costs of unhealthy diets and lack of exercise are astronomical, and we are all paying for it in some way. In the United States, medical costs for diabetes alone were put at 176 billion dollars in 2012, with productivity loss estimated at 69 billion dollars.

Poor eating habits and sedentary lifestyle choices are mainly responsible for obesity and other metabolic diseases. This is increasing absenteeism at the workplace and forcing people into early retirement, mostly with much lower pensions had they been able to work to full retirement age. Expertise is lost and productivity is affected.

You simply won’t be enjoying life as much as you could be by neglecting your health. You won’t be having the energy to fulfill your purpose and your dreams.

“Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos- the trees, the clouds, everything,” according to the great Buddhist teacher Thich Nath Hanh.

The three main triggers of poor health are diet, lack of exercise, and a high-stress factor. If you eat mainly low nutrient processed foods with high sugar content you will feel fatigued and have a low motivation to exercise. This in turn affects the biochemistry in the body that influences your emotions and mental health. The bottom line: When you eat the right foods and exercise moderately you will have a higher resilience in dealing with the daily stresses of life.

How you feel affects your emotions and your emotions or thoughts determine the quality of your life.

But why do most of us not do the things that would make the quality of our lives so much better?

A study by the University of British Columbia appears to show that humans are intrinsically lazy because our brains are simply wired in such a way that we make choices on the basis of what is most comfortable.

The brain is innately attracted to sedentary behavior because “conserving energy has been essential for humans’ survival, as it allowed us to be more efficient in searching for food and shelter, competing for sexual partners, and avoiding predators,” according to Matthieu Boisgontier, a postdoctoral researcher at UBC and senior author of the study.

Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels.com

The challenge, therefore, is to trick the brain away from behavior that has been programmed for generations by reframing the mindset.

You can tell yourself that the pain of suffering from a debilitating disease and poor health is greater than going out each day for a moderate walk in the woods. My body will feel and perform much better if I avoid that soda or so-called “energy drink”.

The nutrients from fresh produce and organic foods keep the biochemistry in my body at a level that makes me feel so much better – both physically and emotionally.

We need to apply more pressure on our governments to pass legislation, forcing the big food corporations to be transparent about what ingredients they put in our foods. A sugar tax could force companies to look for healthier alternatives.

However, first and foremost you have an individual responsibility not only to yourself and your destiny but also to your loved ones. They want you to be around as long as possible.

Few things in life come free of charge. What you invest in time, effort, action, and choice determine the outcome.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. You can still join our 42-day walking challenge. Walk 8,000 steps a day and keep a gratitude journal

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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The spark within

“Stones are mute teachers; they silence the observer, and the most valuable lesson we learn from them we cannot communicate.” Wolfgang von Goethe

One of the big illusions of our time is the constant messaging from false gurus promising salvation and a life of bliss that can only be found externally. Letting yourself be true to your inner voice and reawakening that ancient sense of rhythm and instinct is a real challenge.

The shadow world feeds on sowing confusion and triggering the toxic emotions of fear, hate, and rage that can easily be manipulated for ulterior motives. One of the greatest gifts we have is the power of choice.

Standing Guard

The lower vibrational field remains unaware, stuck in a fundamentalist worldview that leaves no room for nuance, diversity, individual growth, and interpretation. It finds expression in fanatical nationalism that inevitably dehumanizes everyone who is not of the same tribe and belief.

We have seen the phenomenon throughout history in the pogroms against Jews, Huguenots, Armenians, and the religious wars between Catholics and Protestants in Ireland. Mass psychosis gripped an entire population in Germany during the Nazi era. Currently, we are experiencing a dangerous resurgence of 19th-century nationalism in several countries.

Taming the wolf within is one of the greatest stories of St. Francis of Assisi. Feeding the wolf with peace, kindness, and love is moving into the higher vibrational field.

The great 14-century Mystic Meister Eckart said: “If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”  Like Eckhart, most of the early medieval Mystics saw God in all creation, only to find themselves being persecuted and tried for heresy by the religious leaders bent on imposing an external belief based on fear and control.

Nature and landscape thrive in solitude

Self-estrangement could only be overcome by going into solitude and inner silence. God, he taught, could only be discovered in the total presence of the here-and-now. It is why the green and blue spaces of nature have such healing powers. Nature and landscape thrive on silence. Modern man is literally terrified of silence because of his disconnect from nature and soul. He has to constantly surround himself with the drumbeat of electronics to banish natural silence.

Meister Eckhart defined the spark within as authentic soul nature, the core essence of one’s being. The story of Jesus casting out the merchants and traders from the Temple of Jerusalem with the words: “It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer, but ye have made it a den of thieves,” is a parable to stand guard at the doorway of one’s soul. Eckart defines the inner Temple as a divine space.

Training the mind and the intellect to be discerning is the antidote during a time when the truth is veiled by a public narrative intent on fueling the negative.

When humanity is entering the season of winter it is also an opportunity for reflection and realignment. It is an opportunity to strengthen your inner resolve and resilience. I’m inviting you to join our 42-Day Walking Challenge starting tomorrow. Register today for the Challenge in our Mastermind Group.

Starting on 11th May we will be walking at least 8,000 steps per day, practicing a daily gratitude journal, and choosing a personal challenge. It is a great opportunity to reframe and reset!

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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Building resilience during tough times

You might be one of the many people currently feeling overwhelmed by the war images from Ukraine or the fears associated with the pandemic. It’s a general feeling of helplessness when external circumstances out of your control impact the quality of your life.

Stress always starts with a thought. During these times it’s more important than ever to build a bubble of resilience against the pull of negative distractions from the external world. We cannot individually change external events but we can control how we react to them.

Byron Katie has a wonderful method of how we discern between our business and someone else’s business. She writes:

“Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business.

Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business.

Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.”

What if your neighbour is abusing a child? It’s your business because you know about an injustice. You have the responsibility by calling the police. If Russia invades a sovereign country and committing war crimes we should rightly be outraged. We can support governments imposing sanctions against Moscow.

You should not be unaware of what is happening in the external world. You must care and do something, like donating or volunteering for a charity helping the Ukrainian refugees. It is what humanity is all about. At the same time, you should be aware of what is happening to your emotional state when the dosage of negative news media is taking up a large portion of your day or your thoughts.

A person said to me the other day, that he couldn’t with a good conscience go to a music concert while aware that people are suffering in a war. Should I enjoy myself while other people are suffering? Am I allowed to create a “feel good” bubble around myself?

Yes, you certainly should and must. If you want to help others and help change the world, you can and should look after yourself and do things that improve your vibrational energy. If you have a strong and resilient mind and body, you will have the strength to be proactive.

You can change the world

On a collective level we can change the world if we can get more individuals to elevate themselves to higher consciousness. These are the individuals who see their time on earth as a valuable serving contribution.

How you respond emotionally to external circumstances depends on how well you are aligned on a mental and physical level. Are you being pulled out of your space by an incident that then ruins your day? Are you feeling constantly fatigued and in need of recuperation?

Setting healthy boundaries and building a bubble are crucial in boosting your resilience. But it takes practice. Research has shown that once you get started on building positive habits and keep at it for at least six weeks, the chance of success is very much higher.

As you are a regular subscriber to my weekly Blog I’m inviting you to participate in a 42-day challenge, starting on 11th May to 21st June.

  • Walking at least 8000 steps or six kilometers each day.
  • Writing down at least three positive things for which you are truly grateful during the past 24 hours
  • Choose one more positive habit of personal choice. (This can be anything from a ten-minute meditation each day, abstaining from alcohol or processed foods, or reading at least three good self-help books)

Why walk each day?

Just taking a walk is one of the easiest ways of boosting your mental and physical health. You don’t need an instructor or have to go to the gym. Moderate exercise of at least 8,000 steps per day reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke, you will lose body fat and increase your muscle strength and overall vitality. You might find yourself also feeling better emotionally and finding creative solutions to problem-solving. Some of the world’s greatest artists, musicians, and writers got their best inspiration while walking. You can read how I got addicted to walking and the many positive lessons learned while walking in my latest book: Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul.

Practising a gratitude ritual

Reframing your mind from a negative to a positive emotional state mostly starts in the morning soon after getting up. If you have had a bad dream or have slept badly it’s important to remember what good things are happening to you at the same time. Life is never only black and white. Sometimes you simply don’t see the good things happening in your life because you have been programmed with negativity and find yourself in a spiral of negative self-talk. Keeping a gratitude journal by writing down the three most positive things that happened to you during the past 24 hours does wonders.

There are not many people who are willing to commit and hold themselves accountable. If you are one of these special individuals, and I believe that you are, then I invite you to participate in this Challenge. It costs nothing except your willingness to commit.

All you have to do is apply to join my special private Mastermind Facebook Group: Living to Be.

You will be doing your training in your own time but all of us motivating each other to do this practice every day, will make this Challenge so much easier.

One more thing: At the end of this challenge we will be choosing five winners from all participants. They will be granted full FREE access to all my online courses on Mastermind.com worth over 1000 dollars (950 € or 795 pounds).

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you have a friend or family member who might find this challenge interesting, please feel free to share this Challenge with them. By practicing self-care you are helping to heal not only yourself but others and the world around you.

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Happiness is building strong relationships

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”
— Joseph F. Newton Men

Nature is our greatest healer and our greatest teacher. When immersing in the natural world the senses awaken and go into synchronicity. From observing a bee pollinating a flower to mushrooms growing in the special moisture of soil in a shady forest, every living thing is interconnected.

God or the universe find expression in nature and we are one part and inextricably bound to its structure and underlying order. Ancient cultures were well aware of the divine within, seeing the sacred in landscape features, plants, and animals. Modern man’s disconnect from the soul nature and the spiritual has come with rapid urbanization and the disconnect from nature.

The mental health crisis that modern culture is currently experiencing can in part be attributed to the broken relationship with the self, estrangement from the community, and a “relational” crisis on all levels.

Narcissism contradicts the essence of human nature

Our culture of narcissism contradicts the very essence of human need. It over-emphasizes the needs of the individual over the collective. When we are born, we are completely helpless beings, totally dependent on a nurturing family environment. Our primary family shapes and determines how we think and behave.

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Our beliefs, habits, and actions are shaped by our closest associations and the relationship we have with our immediate surroundings. It is foundational.

The resurgence of nationalism and tribalism, the emphasis on one’s own culture and belonging, while denouncing that of the other is just a perverted expression of the loss of belonging and the disconnect from the higher self that is universal in its humanity.

Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner and anti-apartheid activist, explained the African “relational” concept of Ubuntu as the essence of being human.

We are made for complementarity

“It speaks of how my humanity is caught up and bound up inextricably with yours. It says, not as Descartes did, “I think, therefore I am” but rather, “I am because I belong.” I need other human beings in order to be human. The completely self-sufficient human being is subhuman. I can be me only if you are fully you. I am because we are, for we are made for togetherness, for family. We are made for complementarity. We are created for a delicate network of relationships, of interdependence with our fellow human beings, with the rest of creation.”

Bonding with your fellow human being and building your relationships ultimately means that you will live a life of bliss and happiness. The more you adopt the mindset of serving your fellow human being rather than what my friend, parent, employer, government, business association, and marriage partner can give to me the more connected you will begin to feel.

It is a recipe for building resilience against mental and physical exhaustion that we find in job burnout. Typical symptoms of the burnout patient are the complete withdrawal from connection to family members, interaction with colleagues, and participation in community events.

We become stronger and more resilient the more we build the bonds of our associations with those people that give us positive feedback, that nurture us with positive energy, and who care with kindness and love.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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The power of really listening

“Listening may not be the most exciting part of the conversation, but it’s essential if you want to have a meaningful exchange with another person.” – Tania Israel

When you go with the flow and engage in an active interplay with the universe you will be sculptured into that person you were meant to be on the day you were born.

Yet, attachment to judgments, concepts, beliefs, ideas and habits undoubtedly form the biggest obstacle to personal development and soul elevation.

The renowned Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung once wrote that some of his most difficult patients were the so-called intellectuals, stuck in their rigid rational thinking. If you are unwilling to accept your own shadow, you will be unwilling to move forward.

Just tuning in for a few minutes to some of the world’s popular talk shows is revealing. (I can’t bear watching it for longer) Neither the host nor the participants are really capable of focusing on what the other person has to say. Minds are made-up before the other person has finished speaking and interrupted in mid-sentence.

Playing the tit-for-tat ping-pong game in communication never ends well. We seem to have lost the ability to really engage with our fellow human beings by deep listening. On the personal level, it inevitably leads to misunderstandings and relationship breakdowns. In the public and political arena, the word “consensus” is almost a blasphemy as each side blasts the other from its walled-off information bubble.

The ancient Greeks and the melting pot of ideas

The loudest person in the room seldom has the best answers. Deep listening is only possible if we temporarily remove ourselves from judgment and pre-conceived concepts. It requires a willingness to receive and digest new information – whether pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.

The ancient Athenians were well aware that democracy rested on a bedrock of a lively exchange of different ideas. Aware that every individual perceived reality in a different way, the truth could only be found in an active exchange of these different ideas and concepts.

Much of the public narrative we see is not interested in exchanging ideas but merely seeking affirmation of existing ideas. It is the recipe for stagnation and the slide into authoritarianism, along the lines: “If you don’t accept my truth you are my enemy.”

Deep listening is learning

The great Buddhist monk Thich Nath Hanh, described deep listening as in essence a process of learning. It is how we listen that is truly transformative. He said in an interview with Oprah:  “Deep listening helps us to recognize the existence of wrong perceptions in the other person and wrong perceptions in us. The other person has wrong perceptions about himself and about us. And we have wrong perceptions about ourselves and the other person. And that is the foundation for violence and conflict and war.”

The whispers from the universe, that guide us on our soul path, often come in most unexpected ways from so-called everyday persons. It could be the janitor, the bus driver, or a casual remark picked up on a train.

Asking powerful questions about the who, the what, how, and when will lead to meaning and possibility and keep a thought process and conversation going. Asking questions puts you in a position of authentic authority.

Photo by Kevin Malik on Pexels.com

Listening leaders make listening to the ideas and inputs of their employees a key part of their leadership strategy. Richard Branson, the billionaire founder of the Virgin Group, summed up his success as a leader with the words: “Listen more than you talk.” 

Real leaders listen in order to form connections and to build trust and respect. It’s so simple but needs to be said, as I experience this often in my workshops and seminars: Stop multi-tasking! Give people your full attention and respect. Look them in the eye and put away your cell phone and laptop.

Autocrats typically cannot listen, surrounding themselves with toadies and sycophants. Inevitably they end up making bad decisions and choices because their leadership style is based on intimidation and fear.

A frightening recent example was Vladimir Putin publicly humiliating his spy chief prior to the invasion of Ukraine. Nobody dared tell him the truth that invading another country was a horrible idea that would ruin Russia’s economy and make it a pariah nation for decades to come.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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Unhappiness and the worship of false gods

The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity” – Leo Tolstoy

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso

The famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung was once asked by a BBC journalist whether he believed in God. Pausing for a moment, Jung answered: “I don’t need to believe I know.”

While institutionalized religion is essentially a doctrine of what to believe, and how to behave, Jung was referring to experiential spirituality that has been embedded in the collective consciousness of mankind for eons.

Humans have always instinctually felt that there is a creative force within and beyond transcending the self. Derided as a Mystic, Jung is today regarded as a pioneer in bringing together science and religion.

For the Mystics, spirituality cannot be defined as a theology. We all have those precious few moments where we feel a sudden clarity of mind, have an epiphany, or when everything suddenly falls into place. These are rare occasions when consciousness touches authentic soul nature.

When we are disciples in service of the greater good, we will perceive that driving force within that some describe as a real feeling of happiness, contentment, and satisfaction.

Worshipping the false Gods

In the spiritual vacuum of much of our materialistic culture, we are however taught that happiness comes from the worship of things. It is all about HAVING instead of BEING. We are sold an illusion.

Self-worth is defined by what we own and what status we have in society. It is about feeling significant rather than BEING happy. Individualization, personal needs, and wants take precedence over the holistic needs of community and society at large.

We have seen to what extremes individuals took what they perceived as their “personal freedom” during the pandemic and the culture wars over issues such as environmental protection. An entitlement culture will always be at odds with collective responsibility.

The more attention we focus on the external the more disconnected we become from our divine nature within. The “selfie-culture” in the form of self-worship and narcissism inevitably leads to unhappiness, disappointment, and ultimately depression. The ego appetite to be significant, to be seen, and to be heard is insatiable. A preoccupation with the self compares and is never grateful for what is.

There is compelling evidence that the secret of happiness begins when we begin to transmute the needs of self in service of the bigger whole. It is at the root of all the great religions. Matthew 6:21 tells us: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

In Taoist and Buddhist teachings the worship of the 10,000 things is the root cause of unhappiness and one of the biggest obstacles to spiritual transformation. It refers to the human tendency in getting stuck to concepts, thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and idol worship.

Numerous studies have found that when we help and serve others the brain releases happy hormones such as dopamine,  oxytocin, and serotonin. It can help us feel that we are living a meaningful and significant life. Happy hormones counteract the effect of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline that eventually rob the body of energy and cause fatigue.

Life is ultimately spiritual practice that brings consciousness to every moment of daily living, amid all the distractions, complexities, turmoil, and challenges. When we navigate that personal path and go into alignment with the higher self, it is comforting to know that we are protected and guided, that all in the bigger picture has meaning.

There is a prayer or personal mantra I say to myself each day after getting up in the morning. It has been truly transformational to my life in a multitude of ways:

Lord grant that this day may prosper for me. Lord turn from my path all harm. Let this work on earth become thigh heavenly sacrifice. Make me an instrument of thigh will and peace.

Planning and structuring your day is important but at the same time, we have to humbly surrender when external circumstances are out of our control, and adapt accordingly. Sometimes when things don’t go our way it might just be for our own good. The universe could have a different plan and we are blind to the bigger picture.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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Our so “easily offended” society

During recent travels with long hours spent at airports and in planes, I witnessed several people ranting over the smallest things not going their way. My impresson: We seem to have become a society infected with the “easily offended” bug.

It is not only my subjective impression. The United States Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) has reported that last year was the worst on record for unruly passenger behavior. Admittedly much of it was mask-related but I have seen passengers insulting air hostesses, punching the backs of seats, or verbally abusing fellow passengers.

There appears to be a real decline in basic politeness and respect for the public space with the pandemic-related restrictions only highlighting what has become an increasing problem: The “right” to throw a tantrum and utter verbal abuse no matter what the consequences.

Unfulfilled expectations: The cause of much unhappiness?

We as a society appear to have become less resilient in dealing with unforeseen external circumstances out of our control. Western culture has become so accustomed to its comfortable lifestyle that a minor discomfort is perceived as a massive problem. Compared to previous generations and life in poorer countries we live in unparalleled abundance and luxury. However, the more we have the less appreciative we seem to be.

When we are confronted with a “painful” or uncomfortable situation it can mean one of several things. Person A steps back and says to herself/himself. “I can’t change the situation now. Let’s see how we can go from here.” Person B has had a certain expectation that has been disappointed. He is unable to reflect like person A, and loses control. Unfulfilled expectations from a parent, an employer or a partner could be at the root of the problem.

Ego getting in the way

The person losing control has a certain ego-based image of himself, feeling entitled to a “privileged” treatment based on an illusory image of the self. Person A might have gone through a previous painful experience but dealt with it differently. What did I need to learn from this experience? What event in the past made me feel the same way hurt, embarrassed, helpless, and angry? By momentarily removing himself from the situation, Person A could realign with the wiser higher self.

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What does the Will Smith incident tell us?

The media frenzy unleashed by the actor Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock on stage says much about our collective unconsciousness. Smith felt offended because the comedian allegedly insulted his wife in public. In retrospect, it appears Smith’s uncontrolled angry outburst could be related to his childhood trauma when he often witnessed his father insulting and abusing his mother.

But do we have to find excuses for inappropriate behavior? Where do we go as a society if we tolerate and accept abusive, impolite, violent, and disrespectful behavior, even from famous people? If they can do it why can’t I?

Smith’s action was that of an entitled badly-behaved Hollywood megastar, feeling entitled to walk onto a stage, slapping another person, returning to his seat, cursing and shouting, and refusing to leave when asked.

In our media-based world, we take much of our moral cues from what we see and hear on the screen. It is not just two Hollywood celebrities misbehaving whose world is far removed from the average person in the street. What happens in the coming weeks and what consequences and conclusions are drawn from the incident reverberate into society at large.

Feeling offended is so different from having to express”outrage” at what is obviously wrong. While Hollywood was dining and celebrating, Russia continues to bombard, and massacre civilians in Ukraine. Millions of ordinary people’s lives have been completely disrupted because Vladimir Putin felt “offended” by a democratic and sovereign nation on his borders.

If we are incapable of expressing our collective outrage about what Russia is doing to Ukraine and try to intellectualize it like some commentators still do with “the Russian perspective” or with the “neutrality” cop-out, we lose our moral compass. On some issues there just cannot be grey areas. Minor discomforts fade into insignificance if we reflect on the suffering of those millions of people.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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Leadership: The good and the ugly

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. —Max DePree

During these times when the images of the horrors of war are constantly troubling our senses, it is so important to remain grounded. Every major crisis at the same time offers opportunities for realignment and change.

What we are seeing before our eyes is a vivid display of two different styles of leadership: One is that which galvanizes forces into positive action and service for the common good. The other is impervious to empathy, rooted in self-aggrandizement and intrinsically destructive.

Evil eventually destroys itself

Malignant narcissists, psychopaths, and highly egotistical individuals are inevitably drawn to leadership positions where they have unhinged control over large groups of people whom they can subjugate and bully into submission. They surround themselves with sycophants because they can’t bear criticism from others questioning their decision-making or authority.

Such authoritarian leaders, who eventually convince themselves that they have been elevated to God-like status by destiny, eventually ruin themselves and the companies, institutions, or nations that they have taken charge of. For, deep inside during those lonely hours at night they are haunted by their own insecurities, fears, and paranoia.

Unsurprisingly everyone that doesn’t toe their line is deemed as the enemy. Those who believe, think, and act differently are seen as enemies, foes, and competitors that need to be destroyed. The first stage is dehumanization by language followed by ever more evil acts of bullying and physical aggression. They ultimately leave a terrain of scorched earth if it serves their own purpose.

Good leadership is one of service

In contrast, the visionary leader sees his or her role primarily in that of service to others. They prioritize the self-development of others in their institution, team, or country. They are constantly aware of their own shortcomings and thus able to delegate, train and transmute their own shadows. Primarily they have the ability to listen, accept advice, admit mistakes, and correct them. They are in acceptance of one of the principles of creation – the chaotic diversity of life, ideas, and cultures.

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Authoritarian leadership is inevitably doomed to failure because the imposition of an individual belief or will is anathema to the chaotic and diverse beauty that calls itself life.

The French poet and novelist Victor Hugo first coined the phrase: “Nothing else in the world…not all the armies…is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.”

Around the globe, we are seeing a collective uprising of millions of people marching on the streets for peace, humanity, democracy, freedom of speech, sovereignty, and simply the right to live the life we are meant to live.

Good leadership as opposed to bad leadership serves the truth and never its own version of reality. During a time where truth becomes blurred by falsity we need wise leadership based on the intrinsic values of a common humanity.

Without fear, no courage. Faith overcomes fear and hope springs eternal. A vision that is of service empowers, strengthens, encourages, and instills peace and joy.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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