When heartbroken or in pain every feeling is sharper. You are more sensitive and will be opening the gateway to your intuition. It is an opportunity of connecting to your soul. Yet we often prefer to numb these feelings by fleeing into distractions.
Life happens and a loss can be very painful to deal with. Society will be indoctrinating you with the mantra that you should just deal with it and you put on that false smile to the external world.
It‘s the reason why most „selfies“ and postings on social media share primarily happy moments or a false identity. You don‘t want to hear about the breakups, the deaths, the financial travails, and mental challenges.
But the body always keeps the score. Suppressed feelings and trauma seek other avenues. It is one of the many reasons why psychosomatic and mental illnesses are skyrocketing with an estimated 800 million people worldwide suffering from some type of mental health disorder.
When an inner wound has not healed it is also all too easy to numb that wound with addiction. These could be anything from alcohol, overeating, shopping sprees, and spending hours watching Netflix. A powerful addiction is to a false sense of self that goes into war mode each time it feels threatened by a different opinion, belief, or mindset.
Suppressed inner feelings and emotions will inevitably seek an avenue where the body or the personality is the weakest.
A seemingly insignificant event on the other end of the world might trigger a deep sadness. An inconvenience such as a delayed flight or someone „stealing“ your parking causes an angry outburst far in disproportion to the incident.
Worse still, the suppressed emotional wound finds expression in a life-threatening disease.
Whatever loss you have suffered you need to acknowledge that anger, that sadness, that feeling of emptiness or self-blame. It is the first step in the healing process. The famous psychotherapist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes five stages of dealing with the pain and loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
It is much easier to transition and transmute a difficult situation if you seek a professional who can guide you through the process. He or she could offer tools that enable you to take a different perspective.
In retrospect, many of the most difficult chapters in your life can turn out to be an education in higher consciousness or have made you a more compassionate understanding human being.
Awareness to the truth of your human vulnerability, weaknesses, fault lines, and authentic identity and at the same time practicing self-love will make you immune to the pull of external manipulation.
Showing vulnerability will connect you more deeply to your fellow human being. They are the building blocks of healthy friendships and relationships. Elementary, empathic human connection is ultimately the most important element in living a quality life of bliss.
As John Lennon dreams in his song “Imagine”: “Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.”
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
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