Category Archives: connection

The Cost of Ego-Driven Leadership

There appears to be a growing fascination with the “Elon Musk” style of forceful leadership glorifying a macho bravado over emotional intelligence. But behind the tough talk lies a troubling truth: Such an approach quietly erodes the foundations of a business. After 15 years in the consultancy field, I’ve seen it firsthand. If you want to damage a company from the inside out, lead with ego and ignore the human element.

My work facilitating countless in-house workshops in a wide variety of business sectors is backed by research. Leadership matters. How managers and supervisors engage with their teams directly influences motivation, performance, absenteeism, customer satisfaction, innovation, and long-term loyalty. The impact is immediate and often irreversible.

A significant share of workplace-related mental health issues such as burnout and depression, can often be traced back to organizational dysfunction, and how supervisors and managers treat their teams. When disengaged or unhappy employees are asked to evaluate their leaders, they frequently highlight a lack of core social and emotional skills.

Common complaints include:

  • Inability to address or resolve conflicts
  • Reluctance to acknowledge or validate good work
  • Micromanagement and controlling behavior
  • Excessive focus on minor mistakes or faults

In some cases, managers transferred to new departments quickly saw the same pattern emerge—high absenteeism, low morale, and disengagement—indicating that leadership style, not just environment, was the root cause.

On the other end of the spectrum, passive or absent leadership is equally damaging. Teams want leadership—but they want it from someone who leads with integrity, consistency, and emotional intelligence. The most respected leaders don’t shy away from accountability. They address underperformance, but they do so with what can best be described as tough love—firm yet fair, grounded in mutual respect.

People who feel dehumanized, disconnect

Constructive feedback uplifts and encourages growth. In contrast, harsh, demeaning, or fear-based criticism—what some might call the “kick-arse” style—erodes trust, silences initiative, and ultimately dehumanizes. And when people feel dehumanized, they disconnect. That’s how organizations slowly begin to lose their heart—and their talent.

Sport teams offer a great example of leadership style in action. Authoritarian coaches often bring short-term success but fail in the long-term.

Clear expectations, discipline, and structure can boost performance, especially in high-pressure or high-stakes environments like playoffs or elite competition.

Reduced Player Autonomy, Creativity
Over time, however, athletes under this style of leadership show reduced motivation, creativity, and autonomy. A lack of personal agency can stifle adaptive thinking on the field, a key to navigating unpredictable situations.

While some authoritarian leaders succeed in rallying teams through sheer force of will, they often fail to build trust or psychological safety. When things go wrong, blame replaces support, and that kills morale and camaraderie.

My experience is that companies grossly underestimate the cost of bad leadership. Costs can be prohibitive when highly-skilled staff leave, absenteeism rises, and new staff have to be recruited and trained. This comes in addition to the costs caused by demotivated staff in a culture of fear and negativity.

Authoritarian leadership fails over time

Authoritarian leaders in business often deliver quick results. They take control, issue orders, and expect compliance. In moments of crisis or chaos, that decisiveness can seem like strength. But over time, the cracks start to show—both on the field and in the office.

Great teams thrive on trust, mutual respect, and shared purpose. Authoritarian leaders undermine that by silencing voices and centralizing power. Over time, teams stop collaborating and start competing—for attention, approval, or simply survival.

Leaders who foster inclusion, creativity, and emotional intelligence over time are more successful. Satya Nadella, revitalized Microsoft with his emphasis on shifting from a know-it-all culture to a learn-it-all culture, emphasizing emotional intelligence and humility.

Ed Catmull, co-founder of Pixar, and author of Creativity, Inc., a go-to book on healthy leadership. is quoted as saying: “Give a good idea to a mediocre team, and they will screw it up. Give a mediocre idea to a great team, and they will either fix it or come up with something better.”

Success and happiness at the workplace is increasingly dependent on how we communicate and interact with others. At the workplace people operate either as takes, matches, or givers without expecting anything in return, according to famous Organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

Takers are those who almost exclusively act in ways that advance their own personal agendas. In their interactions with others, they are internally asking the question, “What can you do for me?” Matchers operate on a quid pro quo basis, giving in equal measure as others have given to them. Matchers’ interactions are based on fairness, with interactions based on the idea that “If you do something for me, I’ll do something for you.” The third group, the givers, is made up of people who are characterized by serving those around them. The interaction of givers is based on the question, “What can I do for you?”

Grant’s research, based on interviews with 30,000 people across a variety of industries and cultures, reveals that although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners and “The Turning of the Circle” on how the underlying the laws of nature, give an invaluable insight into life’s evolutionary cycle.

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Filed under connection, corporate health, happiness, happiness research, Job satisfaction, lifestyle management, psychology, self-development

Free Trade vs. Protectionism: Lessons from History

Humans are inherently wired for connection and cooperation. Our mental, emotional, and even physical health depends on it. Prolonged isolation, whether personal or collective, challenges our capacity to thrive. When nations retreat into isolationist protectionism, they may gain short-term relief but risk long-term stagnation, weakened innovation, and social fragmentation.

Historically isolationist economic policies leads to stagnation, inefficiency, and missed opportunities. One of the best examples of a nation falling behind in naval, military, and industrial technology was the Chinese Ming and Qing dynasties of the 14th century. Fearing foreign influence and cultural impurity, the rulers severely restricted trade, costing China its competitive edge for centuries.

Industries become bloated and inefficient under protectionism

Post-independence, India adopted a protectionist, centrally planned economy. Foreign goods and investment were restricted, and most industries heavily regulated. The result: industries became bloated and inefficient. India nearly defaulted on its debt in 1991 and was forced to liberalize its economy.

Throughout history, we can find countless examples of nations thriving when they get together to form a common economic space, standardize rules and break down commercial barriers.

The success story of Hanseatic League of medieval merchant cities

The Hanseatic League (from the 13th to 17th century) was a confederation of merchant towns that collaborated for mutual benefit, and in many ways was a precursor to the European Union. Located along the North Sea and Baltic sea routes cities like Hamburg, Bremen, Lübeck, Danzig created an economic powerhouse based on shared interests, smart geopolitics, and commercial innovation.

The European Union stands as a remarkable testament to the power of unity, bringing together nations like France and Germany, once bitter enemies in centuries of war, into a partnership of peace and collaboration.

Countries once marked by poverty, such as Spain and Portugal, along with former Soviet Bloc nations like the Czech Republic, Poland, the Baltic states, and Romania, have found profound benefits in their EU membership—economically, politically, and socially. The EU has not only transformed these nations but has also reshaped the very idea of cooperation, showing how shared purpose can overcome history’s deepest divisions.

The notion that free trade is beneficial for all was first mooted by David Ricardo, a 19th-century British political economist. Ricardo introduced in 1817 the theory of comparative advantage in his book “On the Principles of Political Economy and Taxation.” His idea was that even if one country is more efficient at producing all goods than another country, both can still benefit from trade if they specialize in the goods they produce relatively more efficiently.

Factories in Bangladesh, Vietnam or China can for instance produce clothing much cheaper than in the United States, Canada or Europe. Consumers in these countries again can buy such imported clothing at a much cheaper price than if they were produced at home.

Key Points of Ricardo’s Concept:

  • Comparative advantage (not absolute advantage) determines what a country should specialize in.
  • By each country focusing on producing goods where they have the lowest opportunity cost, total global production increases.
  • Then, through trade, all countries can consume more than they could in isolation.

Before Ricardo, Adam Smith had also praised free trade in his 1776 book “The Wealth of Nations,” arguing for absolute advantage—that countries should produce what they’re best at. But Ricardo’s theory was more powerful because it showed how even less efficient countries can benefit from trade.

Open markets push companies to innovate or die. Exposure to international competition fosters dynamic economies and technological advancement. Countries that trade together are less likely to go to war with trade interdependence promoting diplomatic ties and global stability. Free trade has lifted millions of people out of poverty especially in east Asia.

Most economists agree that tariffs or quotas should only be used selectively such as protecting key sectors during economic transitions. Free trade should also include safety nets such as retraining programs and unemployment benefits.

Brexit is one of the most compelling modern case studies on free trade vs. protectionism, and more broadly, economic integration vs. sovereignty. The United Kingdom (UK) was a member of the European Union from 1973 until 2020. It decided to leave the EU, known as “Brexit” following a referendum in 2016. The populist call for protectionism and sovereignty gained more traction than rational economic arguments. Economists and analysts at Cambridge Econometrics found that, by 2035, the UK will be 311 billion pounds worse off and is anticipated to have three million fewer jobs. Other estimates put the annual loss in GDP at four per cent annually.

In summary, at the micro level, individuals who come together in a community experience greater mental and physical well-being. Human connection fosters resilience, purpose, and meaning. At the macro level, nations that cultivate shared values, mutual cooperation, and strategic alliances lay the foundation for lasting prosperity and peace. Connection is based on trust and courage. Isolationism however is marked by fear, divisive tribalism, and conflict.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners to be launched globally on April 8th, 2025.

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Filed under connection, contentment, extremism, happiness, happiness research

Walking into authenticity

A pilgrimage walk is so much more than an ordinary hike, working on many subtle levels, that may trigger a changed perspective and a complete realignment of emotional, physical and spiritual needs.

Walking the Camino is a walk into authenticity when the whispers from the inner voice gradually become heard as with every step more distance is created from the pull of the external distractions of the daily treadmill.

Moving to a higher energy level

From my own observations, I would say that most people are living lives in which they suffer in a quiet misery of unhappy jobs, dysfunctional relationships and other unfulfilled needs that come when the mind is focused too much on external rather than internal needs.

A combination of a daily dosage of junk foods, a mind fed with negative gossip and emotional drama, a sedentary lifestyle, an imbalanced stress, and recuperation cycle, inevitably lead to a downward energy spiral.

Finding that momentum to change an unhappy situation

Over the years it then becomes that much more difficult to find enough energy for the momentum to change an unhappy situation, especially when it comes to taking that first step in changing bad food habits, doing a regular exercise routine or morning ritual.

When you are on a pilgrimage walk, you simply have to keep going. Once you are on the path the pull to complete it is very strong. Other pilgrims will give you that extra bit of encouragement when you are having a down moment.

Walking off old emotional baggage

Especially during the early stages of the walk, there will be mornings when every muscle in the body is aching and feet are blistered.  You may be asking: “Why am I doing this?” But gradually the walk becomes easier, the load from a backpack less heavy, and the motivation to reach the destination that much bigger.

Camino_Portuguez

It is a huge reward when you actually start feeling so much better, physically and emotionally.  It is part of the detox, the walking off of old emotional baggage, that is part of the Camino experience.

By the time you have walked three or four weeks on your pilgrimage retreat, your energy frequency inevitably rises. This becomes noticeable in the resonance with people that have a positive mindset.  You might find stray dogs or cats following you, a bird singing at you from a breakfast table or complete strangers greeting you and starting a conversation. You will also become more aware of the beauty of your surroundings.

Taking time out for realignment

Over the years I’ve tried fitting in a pilgrimage retreat into my schedule every year. It has been life-changing. Modern lives have become exceedingly stressful with the emotions of pain and fear dictating the daily narrative. The uncertainty that comes with exceptional economic and social changes is making many people ill.

More than ever, therefore, we need those time out retreats for inner realignment for those age-old questions seeking answers: Where do I come from? Where am I going? Am I leaving a positive footprint for future generations? The sense of purpose reveals itself in the authentic self.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

https://www.reinogevers.com

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Filed under Camino de Santiago, connection, happiness, lifestyle management, meditation, mental-health, Pilgrimage, psychology, self-development, spirituality, Uncategorized

Following the path of the Holy Grail

Nestled in a rock face near the Spanish city of Jaca is the ancient monastery of San Juan de la Pena. It dates back to the ninth century and by the 11th century became the spiritual and intellectual centre of the Kingdom of Aragon. According to legend the Holy Grail was kept here until the 14th century.

There is no final proof but It was believed to be the chalice used by Jesus during the Last Supper and the cup in which Joseph of Arimathea collected the Blood of Jesus on the Cross. Today the original is kept in the Cathedral of Valencia with a copy displayed on a stone altar in the old monastery.


Whether true or not, the monastery San Juan de la Pena is a mysterious and unique place. While on our recent walk on the Camino, I took a day to explore the area on the mountain from which there are spectacular views of the Pyrenees mountains in the distance.


  
The Monasterio Nuevo, or new monastery, further up the mountain is a much bigger complex. Its exterior has been rebuilt with a modern museum interior giving much insight on how the monks lived according to the Benedictine Order

The monastery had enormous influence not only in the ancient Kingdom of Aragon but throughout Europe of the early Middle Ages. The monks lived disciplined lives, following a daily routine of contemplation, work and study. Silence was highly cherished. The monks took a vow of silence and were only allowed to speak if it was absolutely necessary or when it was a good thought or blessing. It was obviously an atmosphere that was conducive to highly-focused study and inner spiritual work.

The exhibition in the new monastery illustrates a colorful history of rise and decay. The influence and success of this monastery in the early Middle Ages can be attributed to several factors that are good lessons for today’s corporates:

  • The monks were absolutely focused, disciplined and dedicated to their task
  • At the same time they did not exclude themselves from the outside world, honing the art of networking and relationship-building with the rulers and decision-makers of the time.
  • A charismatic abbot, or leader, was crucial in maintaining cohesion, discipline and respect
  • Basic material needs were catered for by the Kingdom with at times generous grants and donations

Its a mute point on whether the decay started in the year 1399 when the Aragonese King Martino V took the Holy Grail  to his palace in Zaragoza and when the monks asked for it back he tricked them with a replica. There were several fires that destroyed much of the monastery complex in the 17th century. Decay came in line with infighting and power struggles. Grants and privileges from the king were reduced and at times completely stopped. Loss of focus and purpose came in line with vows being broken and poor leadership.

An organisation is only as successful as long as its members are motivated to abide by the internal codes and ethics which always reflects on how it is perceived by those outside. There will always be circumstances that cannot be controlled, such as political change or upheavel. But it is how adaptable and flexible that organisation is to unpredictable changes, that will ultimately determine its survival.

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Filed under connection, energy, healing nature, life vision, meditation, monasteries, monks, organisational structure, powerbodymind, psychology, spirituality

Reconnecting to the web of life

Humanity’s disconnect to the web of life, the lack of respect and awareness for the many parts of the bigger whole, has got us into a pretty dire predicament.

Some theorists would argue that man is a predator by nature and that it is all about the survival of the fittest, falsely quoting Darwin who was in reality very much aware of the intricate inter-connection of all living things.

Any species which fails to find its niche in the web of life becomes extinct because the earth or “creation intelligence” always finds a means of discarding that which becomes a threat to everything else. It is something you become acutely aware of by spending alone time in nature or in the wilds.

I’ve had some of my deepest spiritual experiences while hiking alone in the Pyrenees mountains, the Spanish Camino and the African bush where simply by observation you begin to realize that every plant, beetle, bird, antelope or predator is there for a reason and plays its small part in sustaining life as a whole.

Lichtblick

My theory is that humanity’s disconnect from the web of life is partly the result of alienation from nature and the “materialist-theoretical” approach to religion rather than intuitive spirituality that our forebears practised in the mystic traditions.

As hundreds of millions of people continue to move to urban areas there is a real danger that the alienation from our true destiny will continue. A growing number of people in the wealthier countries are living alone in apartments and getting lonelier and lonelier as they grow older and their already fragile support network of friends starts falling away.

In my previous blog I mentioned how much we are influenced and shaped by the people around us. Our health, our happiness and our lifespan depend on how well we are accepted, integrated and valued in that community we cherish. Loneliness is perceived as physical pain and is responsible for many psychological disorders. Read this interesting report on what people in Sardinia seem to be getting just right and why many of them stay healthy well over the age of a 100.

The biggest challenge faced by humanity is to rediscover that bond to the web of life and to make the switch from predator to custodian, protector and nurturer. Here are just some ways of reconnecting:

  • Sitting meditation with emphasis on the natural breathing sequence of inhaling and exhaling
  • Walking “things off” and reconnecting with your natural rhythm on a longer hike, preferably for several days. Its a wonderful way of detoxing your mind and body.
  • Any of the body arts such as yoga, taiji and qi gong have been practised and perfected over many generations as a way of reconnecting with your mind and body.
  • When outdoors in nature find just one sound to concentrate your mind on. It could be a bird chirping or the wind blowing through the trees. You will feel very relaxed after only a few minutes.

I had an amazing experience on one of my walks when I connected to a blackbird singing in a tree nearby. It responded by following me for several kilometres, hopping from tree to tree and on the track ahead. It was an amazing experience of connection.

Info:

Why face-to-face contact matters in a digital world

Yield and Overcome – How change can positively impact our lives

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Filed under body arts, connection, healing nature, meditation