Category Archives: gratitude

Making your enemy your best friend

The biblical saying of “turning the other cheek” is often misunderstood as being passive and weak toward those who insult, belittle and deride us. I have a different take on this: Your enemy can be your best friend if he galvanises you into action, shakes you out of your comfort zone and stimulates your creativity.

In the ancient Chinese philosophy of the Five Elements and the yin and yang, life is a never-ending cycle of ebb-and-flow, night and day, birth and death, growth and decay, happiness and sorrow.

Yin Yang sign

In the dynamic interaction with the opposite, the opponent, the different world view, we form our own identity and get clarity of who we are and what we really want to stand up for.

In the bigger political scenario the bad leader is inevitably compared to the standards set by the predecessor and the other way around.  There is hardly a politician out there at the moment who seems to polarise as much as Donald Trump.  In contrast to most people however I don’t see Trump’s decision to pull out of the Paris climate accord as the end of efforts to mitigate climate change. It will have the opposite effect. The decision has already galvanised politicians, civic action groups, city mayors, environmentalists, scientists, artists and millions of people all over the world into greater efforts to really do something about cleaning our planet.

In my home country South Africa, Nelson Mandela, was a shining example of a leader who reconciled, forgave, mediated and worked tirelessly the last years of his life for charity.  The current leaders could not be more corrupt and far removed from the ethics and ideals Mandela stood for. It is however galvanising people into mass action who want no more of the ineptitude, lack of ethics and corruption. The bad leaders now are providing the fertile ground for the good leaders of tomorrow.

On the relationship level we so often find that the member of the family, associate or  friend who tried to tell you that you could never do it, actually was the jet fuel that set you on fire to follow your dream.

We can go on and on through history. The terrible devastation of World War II gave birth to the community of nations in the European Union in the longest era of peace we have seen in Europe ever. So it is my hope that the current tide of xenophobia, religious intolerance and fundamentalism will galvanise the majority into the opposite direction.

Reino Gevers – Mentor for Leaders and Achievers – Your Health Matters

http://www.reinogevers.com

NEW RELEASE: “Walking on Edge – A Pilgrimage to Santiago” available both in Kindle and paperback.

 

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Walking on Edge

Walking_on_Edge_Cover_for_Kindle The Camino in Spain has in many respects been a life-changing experience for me.  The lessons learned on the pilgrimage are in so many ways an analogy of life. My book “Walking on Edge”, a work of fiction, takes up many autobiographical cues and is dedicated to some of the most amazing people I have met on the Path.

For many centuries Christian pilgrims walked thousands of kilometres from the doorstep of their homes throughout Europe to the Spanish city of Santiago de Compostela, where according to legend lie the remains of one of Jesus apostles St. James. Fear of landing in the fires of hell after death was deeply entrenched in the minds of the people of the Middle Ages. The church at the time promised those folk that they and their families would be cleansed of all sin and have a wonderful afterlife in heaven if they did the pilgrimage at least once in their lifetime.

Today hundreds of thousands of people are rediscovering this ancient route as a wonderful way of self discovery and through that deep look inside, finding their own inner spirituality and soul purpose.

In my book I have changed the characters but some of those modern day miracles are based on true experience.  Yes, I am convinced that miracles are still happening, if we open our senses and look around us. For me the Camino was not one massive bolt of enlightenment striking on a hill, but the sum of many exceptional experiences over a period of several walks on different paths in Spain and France.

Since the days of my childhood I have agonised over the teachings of religion telling us to believe this or that or to follow this or that teaching. It’s all external. One major lesson I have taken from the Camino is that there is a major difference between religion and personal spiritual experience. In my book the pilgrim Chuck calls it the difference between head and heart mind. The soul path cannot be understood with rational thought and can only be felt with the heart. And, a growing number of people are saying: “Let me go out and seek an answer to why I am here and who I really am.” Through this self-recognition comes what I will call “God recognition” and what  is a very personal and individual experience.

Suffering inevitably leads us to go out looking for answers. A lot of people are getting lost and feeling left behind in the digital revolution. In some ways mankind is facing a similar dilemma as the people in the Middle Ages. Its no longer the church that rules over our lives but the information overload of countless distractions polluting our minds with clutter we don’t need.

Ronaldo was one of those pilgrims “walking things off” by going at a pace most others could not keep up with, avoiding all conversation as the emotional clutter gradually released itself, opening up space for new experience.

And it was that space, as Chuck called it “that can then be nourished with inner peace, forgiveness and compassion. You in fact are working on becoming a better human being.”

Reino Gevers – Mentor for Leaders and Achievers – Your Health Matters

http://www.reinogevers.com

“Walking on Edge – A Pilgrimage to Santiago” available both in Kindle and paperback.

 

 

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Who do you hang around with?

Successful business team showing strength and power

The famous motivational coach Jim Rohn once said that you are the average of the five people you most hang around with. This can be either good or bad. We set our parameters according to those set by our tribe. Either your tribe pulls you down or pulls you up.

We tend to even have the same dress code, mannerisms, speech patterns, hobbies, views and even eating habits of our tribe.

But as you start to move on to a raised consciousness you will notice that old friends and even close family members feel threatened and will do everything, mostly at a subconscious level, to pull you back to their level with derogatory remarks, negative statements and fear mongering.

We attract exactly those people around us who are similar to us in sharing our views, values, likes and dislikes. If you are a positive person you will attract positive people around you and if you are a negative person you will attract people around you with a negative outlook on life.

Its worth remembering when you decide to move out of the treadmill and to change things in your life. We often stay too long in relationships that have long outlived their purpose. The question that needs to be asked is: Do I feel comfortable, uplifted and energized when I’m in the company of that person? Or do I feel emotionally drained, exhausted and in a bad mood after spending time with him or her?

Who is your main refererence group that influences you on many levels?  Every so often it might be necessary to reflect on this. Its not that you want to hurt and exclude some people from your life. But the time might have come just to spend much less time with them and to spend more time with those people who really uplift you.

Reino Gevers – Mentor for Leaders and Achievers – Your Health Matters

http://www.reinogevers.com

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Gratitude – the antidote to fear

Quantum healing energyIts the time of year when Thanksgiving is celebrated. In the U.S. Thanksgiving is a national holiday going back to the first English settlers in the new world in 1621 who would not have survived without the help of the native Americans.

In the mainly agricultural societies of the past, Thanksgiving had a far greater importance. The harvest period was celebrated in religious festivals and rituals as a tribute to a higher deity who was responsbile for sending the rain or the cycle of the seasons.

Modern man, where food flies into his mouth from the supermarket shelf, has lost this direct symbiosis with nature and with it the rituals that align with the greater universe.

Psychological research has found that keeping a daily gratitude journal can have numerous positive effects like making us happier, more successful and less self-centred. In one of the tests participants were given a week to write and then deliver a letter of gratitude in person to someone who had been especially kind to them but had never been properly thanked. Not surprisingly this had enormous positive psychological effects on the participants, especially on those who continued the test beyond the week.

More importantly gratitude is the antidote to the emotion that holds us back in almost every sphere of life – fear. Fear catapults us into paralysis whether its fear of dying from a deadly disease, fear of failure, having no money, losing a loved one. Fear has many demons and in most cases it pulls the mind into some terrible future scenario.We need only to reflect on such thoughts over the past month, year or even five years ago to know what tricks the fear demon can play on us.

I just read a report in  the paper today that a growing number of people fear the outbreak of a Third World War. Its not surprising because most mass media are echo chambers of negative emotions.

Keeping a daily gratitude journal or doing a morning meditation and focusing on just five things that you can be grateful for during the past 24 hours will pull you out of the negative spiral. Especially being grateful to ourself, helps overcome the shadow within. What are you profoundly grateful for?  You can’t be profoundly grateful for all the things that happened in your life and at the same time be fearful, angry, hurt and vengeful.

Reino Gevers – Mentor for Leaders and Achievers – Your Health Matters

http://www.reinogevers.com

 

 

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