“You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.” —Stacy London
Events in the external world are a reflection of collective consciousness. Global tragedies such as wars and natural catastrophes are inflection points for humanity that guide us forward into an elevation of consciousness or catapult us backward into reflex actions governed by toxic emotions.
If we want to have peace in the external world we have to find peace within. Persons unable or unwilling to transmute the shadow aspects of their personality gaining uncontrolled power can sow untold grief and pain as we are seeing now in Ukraine.
The enemy reveals who we really are
But sometimes we need “an enemy” or the visible display of such gross injustice to galvanize us into action and to clarify our own moral compass and value system. What we are seeing on a global level is a battle between a world of freedom of expression, tolerance, and cultural diversity on the one hand versus 19th-century nationalism, violation of basic human rights, and authoritarian rule by a male Macho figurehead.
The 21st century is seeing a growing awareness that we are one humanity and that we can only survive as a species if we collectively address the common threats to our existence such as climate change, or deadly viruses that know no national boundaries.
Our economic and cultural systems have become increasingly intertwined. Those pariah nations of the old order such as Russia, Belarus, and North Korea will become increasingly isolated, poverty-stricken, and desolate places to live while the rest of the world prospers. We just need to reflect on what massive technological, medical, and other advances have been made during the past ten years.
We are gradually beginning to win a greater understanding of the functioning of the human mind. Medicine is on the threshold of finding cures for most of the deadly diseases of our time, slowing the aging process and extending lifetimes manifold. We have access to more information and knowledge than all the generations before us.
On the spiritual level there is a silent revolution happening with experiential spirituality, the language of the ancient Mystics, finding new expression. There is a growing rebellion against the hypocrisy of religious institutions and the clergy telling us what to believe and how to behave.
The end of Macho culture
Putin represents a male Macho culture of the past that must know its days are numbered. In our new order, we are already seeing a growing number of excellent female politicians with a leadership style that is more holistic, and empathic. History has provided ample lessions that disagreements are ultimately best resolved with dialogue and not by military subjugation.
For the moment we watch a tragedy unfold before us in Ukraine on a daily basis. It is a time when most of humanity can show its true resolve. The brave Ukrainians are also fighting for our basic values and self-respect. This is why we are seeing hundreds of thousands of ordinary people from Paris to Sydney taking to the streets. We are made more aware and gratefel that the freedoms we have are not a certainty.
The clock cannot be turned back. On an individual level, it is those “flat on the ground” moments, those times of greatest despair and grief that force us to dive deep into soul nature. The moments of pain also offer the greatest opportunity for transformational change and a new beginning.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
“Unfortunately, there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants himself to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” – Carl Gustav Jung
For millennia mankind has grappled with the question: “If there is a God, why does he allow evil?” Defining evil and recognizing evil can also be a difficult undertaking where the lie is sold as truth and truth gets turned into a lie.
Self-love and the acceptance of the human condition
What Jung tried to tell us is that if you don’t accept this duality of light and shadow within, you will soon find yourself on a path of much self-created pain and suffering.
Only in unconditional acceptance of the imperfect human condition, and self-love of all aspects of the personality can grow the seeds of forgiveness, tolerance, and compassion. This is at the heart of the teachings of Jesus and the ancient Mystics. The fundamentalist Christian concept of original sin meanwhile has been distorted into a culture of guilt and self-mortification. It is the perfect breeding ground for hypocrisy and intolerance.
The enemy is also the teacher
In the pull between the identity of the opposites, spiritual growth and the evolution of character takes place. Are you kind, generous, compassionate, and loving? Or are you rude, greedy, inconsiderate, spewing hate and anger? The decisions and habits we make on a daily and hourly basis can tip the scales in either direction.
Are you nurturing the God in your heart or feeding the demons in your head?
We need the enemy, and the opposite perspective to gain clarity on our own core values and choices. Humankind has been given the power of choice. Are you falling into the shadow or going with the light?
The tragedy is that the character once held by the stranglehold of the shadow demons finds himself incapable of self-reflection. The phenomenon is widespread in some of the populist leaders of our time, trapped by their own egos and narcissism.
An individual unable or unwilling to transmute the shadow within becomes a very dangerous person when handed the control of an entire nation.
Such leaders easily get subsumed by the darkest parts of their character if they have not transmuted their shadow. Going back to the early days of Vladimir Putin’s rule we hear a man propounding democratic values and freedom of expression. From what is said, he was a good listener and open to advice – a far cry from the chilling autocrat, emotionally cold to the suffering of millions of people.
Other profoundly evil leaders such as Josef Stalin, Mao Zedong, and Adolf Hitler had similar grievances that were expressed politically but probably stemmed from childhood trauma. All three dictators had bullying and abusive fathers. Putin grew up in poverty as a street kid and was often bullied.
South African leader Nelson Mandela by contrast, although having every reason to hate his white persecutors who locked him away in prison for 27 years, was able to transmute his anger and hate into wisdom, saying:
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Evil does not come from God. It manifests itself where there is the complete absence of God. Every minute of every day we have the power of choice. Do we choose the God in our heart or the Devil in our head?
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
The Dalai Lama once said that what surprised him the most about the human condition was that “Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
Confronting our mortality is anathema in our western culture. We don’t talk about it and when a loved one passes we are expected to “get over it” and function again as soon as possible.
Cultural icons are expected to stay forever young. The dying are outsourced to hospitals and hospices and the dead are buried in well-manicured cemeteries far-off the beaten track.
Confronting mortality head-on
One of the multiple reasons for our mental health crisis and addiction epidemic is that we don’t confront our mortality head-on, compare ourselves with the Jones’ next door, and hope to live the “happy” life one day when we retire, when we get rich, when we find the perfect partner when we have that luxury car or that beautiful home.
There is a reason why the people in the small southeast Asian country of Bhutan are regarded as the happiest and most contented people in the world. Like in the world of our ancestors, death is part of everyday reality.
The Buddhist country encourages its people to think about death for at least a few minutes each day. Paintings, artwork, and house decorations often feature death. Funerals are an elaborate three-week event where the dead body is kept in the home before being slowly cremated over fragrant juniper trees in front of hundreds of friends and relatives.
In Bhutan, death is merely seen as a transition to another dimension. The spiritual disconnect in our western culture has left no place for death or the ritual of death. I’ve had my fair share of loved family members and friends who have died during the past three years, jolting me back to reality and the age-old question: What are you doing with the rest of the days left in your life?
Because death is the big elephant in the room, we succumb to collective hysteria and grief when a well-known personality suddenly dies.
The University of Oxford Centre for Suicide Research found that the overall suicide rate in England and Wales rose by 17 percent in the four weeks after Lady Diana’s funeral in September 1997, compared with the average reported for that period in the four previous years.
A review of these patients’ case notes suggested that the influence of Princess Diana’s death was largely through “amplification of personal losses and exacerbation of existing distress.”
Talking about the human condition
We need to talk about the human condition, about death, our mortality, and that life at some point ends the way we know it. My passion is to help people improve their lives to such an extent that they have the vitality and energy to live out the life that they are meant to live.
Are you living the life you are destined to live?
Are you merely existing or living the life that you are destined to live? Are you stuck in a job or relationship that depletes most of your energy? Are you waiting for that day to arrive when you can finally start living?
Procrastination and fear is the biggest obstacle to the elevation of consciousness and spiritual growth. When you are doing things that are in alignment with your soul destiny you will, to quote Rumi, feel a river moving in you with joy.
If you are interested in diving deeper into the topic of goal setting, experiential spirituality, and an accountability coaching partner please contact me for a scheduled zoom chat and free get-to-know session.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
The chains of habit are too light to be feltuntil they are too heavy to be broken.
– Warren Buffet–
One of the worst chains of physical and mental habit is procrastination. Without action, there is no result.
We can dream, hope, and think our wishes will come true but they will only remain dreams if they are not followed up by action.
The pain of breaking the chains of habit are perceived as greater than the pain and the fear of facing an uncertain future. It is the reason we stay in dysfunctional relationships, fail to change an unfulfilling job, and refuse to change a diet that is ruining our health.
The universe will inevitably test your willpower
So often when we are on the brink of giving up in walking through that long, dark tunnel of obstacles, the breakthrough comes in the most unexpected ways. We climb a hill. We reach the top and then we find out that there is still another hill to climb. It is in such moments of despair that most people give up.
It is almost as if the universe is testing our willpower, creativity, and clarity of thought on the walk through life.
The yin and yang, the law of opposites, is an active process of life force, “qi” energy, swinging us from one extreme to the next in the never-ending cycle of growth and change.
Finding the balance between the extremes
The first light of dawn can only be seen in the darkness. Deep happiness is a feeling that is all the more intense after we have gone through the experience of sadness. They are both intense feelings. There is a fine line between love and hate, as William Shakespeare vividly portrays in “Romeo and Juliet.”
The moral of the story is that nothing good can come from blindly embracing fully one or the other.
In Act 1 Scene 1, Romeo is well aware of the close relationship between these two strong emotions:
“Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love.
Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate,
O anything of nothing first create!
O heavy lightness, serious vanity,
Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms,
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,
Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.”
When we fall in love we tend to see the other in a rose-colored hue of positivity. Love appears all-encompassing and we are blind to character traits or habits that are difficult to reconcile.
The disappointment comes later when we move in with each other and the fights start over who is responsible for the grocery shopping or cleaning the bathroom. Shattered hopes and dreams of what an idealized relationship never was or could have been is one of the main reasons for the breakup of so many relationships.
Extremism has its roots in fear and lack of grounding
Much of the animosity in the political divide comes from the same energy—embracing either the right or the left of the spectrum without seeing the nuances in between. The one is the shadow of the other. Both extremes have a shocking level of intolerance and are rooted in fundamentalism that prevents them from listening to each other.
The tendency toward extremist positions is rooted in uncertainty and fear from a lack of grounding.
Mastering the mundane to grow spiritually
The Chinese masters placed great emphasis on this aspect—not only as crucial in the martial arts but as a life philosophy.
Without a solid foundation in dealing with the mundane, any type of self-development will come to naught.
The ancient Jewish sages went further in teaching that if we fail to master the normal daily activities such as looking after our health, family relationships, and livelihood, we cannot hope to advance to higher spiritual experience.
Thus, a good portion of life in the monastery is spent in cleaning, gardening, and other menial chores. It is not only a practice in humility but stems from the knowledge that mastering the mundane is the gateway to loftier spheres.
Physical exercise and the mindful carrying out of mundane chores are excellent for grounding. If your work is mostly in a sitting position in an office, it is crucial to use breaks for walking or another low-impact exercise.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ― Aristotle
We are living in an age where our minds are drowning in information and thirsting for wisdom. Having worked in the media industry for most of my life I am horrified at how much the public discourse has degenerated into banal superficialities feeding on the exchange of toxic emotions.
What you are feeding your mind with you become. It has become more important than ever to stand guard at the doorway of your mind. A video or a statement that you coincidentally read while thumbing through your smartphone can trigger all sorts of emotions that might spoil the rest of your day.
If you are reading this you are probably one of the few people out there reflecting on what is happening collectively to our societies. Of course, there will always be conflict and social disruptions. It is part of the human condition. We are imperfect beings. But we also have the power of choice.
Fanatical fringe groups are hoarding the stage
My impression is that the dark side of humanity is being amplified manifold by the technical means at our disposal. Fanatical fringe groups and really bad people are spending most of their time bullying other human beings with hate mail. Social media is doing little to control this for a simple reason: The more emotionally charged a topic, the more clicks and the more advertising revenue.
You might think you are in control of what information you are feeding your mind with but most people are not. The social media and search engine algorithms are monitoring your usage and calculate automatically what posts you are most likely to read. In this way, they are shaping how you think.
Beliefs and opinions are constantly being reaffirmed in different realities and information bubbles. Families, friendships, communities, and congregations are breaking apart along these dividing lines.
We need a pushback from the quiet majority, those rational thoughtful people who are firmly grounded against these toxic emotional hooks. It starts with the question:
Is this information expanding my energy frequency or diminishing my energy frequency? Is the information helping me to grow and positively develop my full potential?
A common misconception is that knowledge, information, and education equal wisdom. How many so-called intelligent people refuse to learn from their own mistakes, have a fixed mindset, refuse to reflect on their actions or admit that they were betting all the time on the wrong horse.
The power of your associations
Innate knowledge born from the body of experience is wisdom. It is trusting your intuition and higher consciousness. If you surround yourself with wise friends, train your mind with spiritual books, and seek guidance from wise persons you will become wise.
It is also essential to practice self-care by setting firm boundaries to people, associations, and external influences that are depleting body, mind, and soul. Self-care is looking after your body, realigning with your soul by taking time out for silence and contemplation.
Choosing such a path will fill your life with much more happiness, and contentment because you are building the bridge to soul connection. Actions are directed at serving the bigger whole as opposed to seeking individual gratification. As the wise Greek philosopher, Aristotle noted wisdom begins by getting to know your true self.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
Have you ever given it a thought what your loved ones would be saying about you at your funeral? A good way of defining your purpose in life is to sit down and write your own eulogy. Looking back on a life lived so far brings much clarity on where you have come from and where you want to go.
It is sad to see so many people stuck in a very uncomfortable comfort groove because the fear of the unknown is preventing them from even looking at alternatives.
What I have found is that if we face up to the fear and place full trust in the universe that we are here on earth for a purpose, then the universe will respond in kind.
We are here to grow and develop
It is in becoming our true self that we discover a sense of meaning and belonging. We are here to develop and grow our consciousness−to become aware of the greater reality. It is part of what the evolutionary program demands of us.
Project yourself ahead in a time machine where you see yourself rocking in an armchair well into your 80s, looking back on your life. What are your greatest regrets? What are the chances missed? Probably the greatest sin would have been a life passed without even attempting the greatest dreams and following the true destiny. How would you feel if you watched a movie about your life on all the opportunities missed and potential not lived?
Going the route of constant self-development, self-reflection, and spiritual growth is immensely rewarding. It is one of the keys to living a purposeful and happy life.
But you will never discover your true calling if you don’t slow down so that you can listen to the whispers from the universe and find a connection to your soul.
It is never too late for change and renewal
Body and mind have an infinite capacity for change and renewal. It is never too late. All the skin in the body is replaced every two to three weeks. The liver renews itself at least once every couple of years and the skeleton once every ten years.
But trauma and toxic emotions can hold us captive for decades, preventing us from moving forward and “becoming” our true self.
Stress and fear start with a thought. But the solution to a problem has never come from running thoughts and monkeys in the head. These are dark imaginary creations of the mind. Yet the mind has enormous power to create in every direction.
Practising thought discipline
Thought discipline can be practiced. It is normal for negative thoughts, old anger and fears to surface when we spend time alone in solitude. Replacing that dark thought with a positive thought such as gratitude is the first step in the right direction.
Thoughts inevitably turn into beliefs and beliefs turn into action. How are you talking to yourself? What is your inner dialogue? Do you believe that you are worthy? Do you feel deserving of living in abundance, to be loved, appreciated and valued?
With gratitude comes the wisdom that in the bigger picture there is grace−the grace that we are part of a bigger matrix, that everything has meaning, that we are born to learn, grow, and to become. When reverse engineering your life you find out that everything has served a purpose if you give it a different perspective. We are destined to become who we are meant to be.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.
“Sometimes success needs interruption to regain focus and shake off complacency”
– Lennox Lewis-
If there is one positive outcome of the pandemic it is that a growing number of people are seeking spiritual meaning and truth with the specter of death serving as a daily reminder of the impermanence of life.
A culture, feeding on the need for immediate gratification and the addiction to more of everything, is inherently disconnected from the spiritual. Complacency and familiarization are the enemy of spiritual growth and raised consciousness.
Success inevitably breeds complacency
It is a dangerous time when the ego shines in its glory and becomes immune to any type of criticism or alternative suggestion. I was recently told the story of a very successful young stockbroker who earned millions but then through a string of bad decisions ended up broke, losing his wife, home, Ferrari sports car, and all the other trappings of wealth. He had failed to foresee market changes, hear the warnings, and adapt accordingly.
Familiarization and relationship decay
In relationships, we fall into the trap of familiarization where we become blind to the positive attributes of our partner and take everything for granted. There is that initial high in the romantic phase where everything is seen through rosy eyes. Then reality starts to set in. The nuances of change, beauty, and preciousness are being taken for granted. A negative cloud of boredom, unhappiness, and familiar routine stifles all creativity and growth. Both partners fail to adapt to inevitable changes in personal needs each blaming the other for their unhappiness.
We take friends, family, colleagues, and long-term business partners for granted, forgetting to give them the validation that every human being yearns for until they are no longer there and we ask ourselves why we didn’t find the time to show them mindful appreciation.
What comes after reaching the pinnacle of success?
We see it time and again with highly successful athletes, movie stars, politicians, and entrepreneurs. Once they have reached the pinnacle of success it doesn’t get any better. Popstar Michael Jackson became deeply unhappy, losing his vast fortune when he realized that he would never again repeat the success of his single “Thriller” that topped the charts in 13 countries and sold more than seven million copies in the US alone.
Life purpose and meaning change several times during a lifetime. Impermanence is the seed that is sown by the universe to keep us inflow and to prevent us from falling into the trap of complacency that is defined as a feeling of smugness or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.
It is our destiny to constantly grow, adapt, change, and learn to be alert and curious
It is a recipe for unhappiness when you start losing your curiosity and the willingness to learn. We are living in an age when we have all the knowledge of the world at our fingertips. Isn’t it time to start a new hobby, learn a new language, or build something? Check out even simple courses of learning that you can download for a cheap fee here.
How many people that you know are saving all their energy for the day when they retire and can finally start living the life of their dreams. When the day comes they discover that they have all the time chased an illusion. The body decides that it is no longer needed and succumbs to illness and decay.
The biggest myth about our daily lives of “stressful living” is that stress is inherently bad. A more or less permanent emotional and physical stress situation indeed is very unhealthy and will inevitably lead to serious mental and physical illness.
But when we are in a healthy sprint and recovery cycle short bouts of stress trigger those energies that we need to overcome a challenge. We sometimes need that extra burst of adrenaline to score a goal and to focus all our intention on a victory.
Facing a global challenge such as the pandemic is also a huge chance for humanity to grow both on a collective and individual level. Our world will never be the same again. The great Buddhist master of mindfulness teaching Thich Nhat Hanh, who died last week at the age of 95, once said: “It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”
As a child, I was frequently confronted with episodes when Dad would withdraw behind a thick grey wall of brooding silence. Only much later in life, when confronting my own demons, did I begin to understand the meaning of depression and what profound effect it can have on family and relationships.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that about 280 million people worldwide suffer from depression with the Covid-19 pandemic having further impacted mental health on multiple levels as we deal with the loss of control and personal freedoms.
It is part of the human condition that we go through stages of melancholy sadness but depression is characterized by the WHO as a condition when a person suffers for a longer period of several weeks loss of pleasure in all things, hopelessness in the future, fatigue, low self-esteem and self-worth coupled with frequent suicidal thoughts.
When to ask for help
When you or a loved one are in such a situation it is advisable to seek professional help. Medication can be necessary, especially when hereditary factors or biological issues such as hormones and serotonin levels in the brain play a role. However, medication is not a quick fix and therapy must be understood as a long-term journey to improving the quality of life.
Depression has many facets and is intertwined with an individual’s response and coping mechanism to external stressors. Childhood trauma or emotional neglect could be underlying factors for low-esteem and self-worth, seeding the depression. And, sometimes depression is disguised as a job burnout or a midlife crisis because of the social stigma attached to mental health.
Losing the sense of meaning and purpose in life could be triggered after a relationship breakdown, loss of a loved one, job loss, or the diagnosis of a life-threatening disease. A personal tragedy can be so overwhelming that the individual is unable to find a way out without professional help.
Finding new meaning and purpose
What we do know is that most forms of depression are treatable. Low-impact sport and a healthy diet rich in fatty acids and low on sugars and processed foods play an important part in brain health. At the same time finding new purpose and meaning with the help of a good therapist or mentor is key.
There is a lovely quote from Mark Twain that “the two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” The “why” need not be the one silver arrow. Very often people are passionate about a certain career path in the early part of their life and then find out decades later that they need to walk a new path.
Learning from the pain and trauma
Everything that you have experienced or suffered so far in life has prepared you for the next step. What did I need to learn from my divorce? Has it left me with resentment fear and hate? Or, has it taught me to forgive, improved my social skillset, and made me into a more compassionate human being?
Finding a new challenge and stepping out of the normal comfort zone of complacency is a major antidote to depression. When you reflect on your life so far you will always find some stories where you chalked up victories and personal accomplishments. You can add to that success list by finding a new challenge.
For me, such a challenge was walking the Camino in northwestern Spain for the first time in 2007. I was in a very bad place at the time going through a tumultuous relationship and finding myself on the edge of a job burnout. You can read my story in the book: “Walking on Edge: A pilgrimage to Santiago”
I now take the time each year for a personal retreat. Walking one more stage of the Camino has become my annual detox and timeout for realignment and soul replenishment.
How are you talking to yourself? Is your self-talk predominantly negative or positive? You have the power to change your thoughts and your mindset. Predominantly positive people are more successful, happier, and content. We like to have those people around us. When they walk into a room there is a different energy. While those people who are cynical and only focused on the dark side of life inevitably pull you down. You can shift those dark emotions by replacing them with positive thoughts. What makes you laugh? What are the five things that you experienced during the past 24 hours that you can be truly grateful for? Training the mind is like training the body in physical exercise. It takes practice and sometimes we have to simply empty the mind from all those dancing monkeys in the head moving between the pain of the past and the fear of the future.
The healing power of community
Our modern culture of individualism has mutated into narcissism and loss of community bonding. We, humans, are social beings. We are formed by the nature of our associations and primary family connections. We all need a supportive network of long-term friends, family, and community that provides positive validation. Volunteering in a group or a community for a useful project, charity, or church group that improves the lives of others changes the perspective from self-absorption to giving for others in a worse situation. Find a reason to do something for the good of something.
Repurposing failure, tragedy, and grief
Some of the world’s greatest minds have turned a personal tragedy, humiliation, or failure into success by repurposing their experience into new meaning.
Andrew Carnegie, arguably one of the most successful industrialists ever, emigrated to the United States with his family at the age of 12 to avoid starvation in Scotland. He eventually amassed a vast fortune in the iron and steel industry but spent most of his later life on philanthropic projects including the establishment of 3,000 public libraries in the United States, England, and Canada.
Charles Dickens’s greatest works of fiction came from a dark place after losing his father and one of his daughters within a week. At the age of twelve Dickens was forced to work with working-class men and boys in a shoe polish factory while his father was in a debtor’s prison. This experience shaped his views of the harshness of the industrial world confronting human values.
Oprah Winfrey, raped, molested, and beaten in early childhood, faced many struggles before becoming one of the world’s most famous talk show hosts. She told fellow chat show host David Letterman that through all of the pain and struggle, she was thankful, “for everything that has happened. I would take nothing from my journey.”
Tony Robbins came from a dysfunctional family and was thrown out of his home by an abusive mother. The experience turned him into one of the world’s top motivational speakers, best-selling author of self-help books, and life coach.
In a world addicted to immediate gratification and quick-fix solutions – take a pill and it will go away – the individual going through a hard time is often told: “Get over it and move on.” Every person has a different rhythm when dealing with grief or trauma. That sadness over the loss of a loved one remains for a lifetime but over time it can take on a different perspective.
Those “dark night of the soul” moments force a look inside. A crisis reveals what needs to be changed. Complacency is the biggest obstacle to soul connection and elevation of consciousness. During times of pain and grief, we dig deep into the resources of resilience for that next hill to climb on life’s journey of growth and evolution and ultimately fulfillment of soul destiny.
“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”
– Confucius
A spider will seldom build its web between two hard objects, rather choosing flexible places such as blades of grass or corn so that when a strong wind comes it will not tear the masterpiece asunder. It will go with the flow, bending and finding balance with the forces of nature.
In the same way body and mind need to find connection with the internal rhythm that is soul purpose and meaning. Sadly, what we are currently seeing in the collective mindset is very much the hardening of attitudes and beliefs.
The fixed mindset and fear
A fixed mindset and fanaticism of all persuasion come from a place of darkness, fear and uncontrolled toxic emotion. The fear is rooted in fear of change that results in the desperate clinging and hardening of position to an illusory place of safety. The dancing monkeys in the head are preoccupied with thousands of thoughts a day revolving around the fear of loss and fulfilling basic external needs.
As we face the challenges of an ever more dynamic world with massive economic, social, institutional, and psychological change, resistance to the disruption of the status quo is increasing.
But this is also a time of great opportunity. There is elevation of consciousness if the fear can be transmuted into courage, and opportunity can be seen in creating a new earth.
In the words of Suzy Kassem: “Sometimes we have to soak ourselves in the tears and fears of the past to water our future gardens.”
Living a life in the Having or BEING
The ego mindset is preoccupied with having and chasing after someplace in the distant future when life can start happening, and a life of happiness can finally be lived. The heart mindset is about living to BE. In BEING fully in the present moment connection to soul purpose and meaning can be found. Our beliefs and values provide the roadmap of the path we choose to walk.
Discontent, resentment, and anger reveal that values and beliefs are misplaced and that they need to be reconfigured and realigned. The higher senses are muted. The general energy frequency of mind and body is lowered and fail to perceive the whispers from the universe. Hardened attitudes and beliefs separate from true being and soul connection.
There is a wonderful phrase from Jesus in the original Aramaic version of the Beatitude: “Tubwehun I’ makiche d’hinon nertun arha.” This roughly translates to: “Renewal to those in emotional turmoil and blessed are those who can soften that which has hardened in their bodies.”
Moving forward from a place of unhappiness can be the biggest change motivator. Remaining flexible and bowing with the wind to find that equilibrium is what nature teaches us. Our destiny is ultimately elevation of consciousness and growth. It’s opening the window to the soul and allowing the light of beauty, harmony and love to enter the room.
It’s the time of year again when wishes are expressed and ambitious goals are set but when looking back at the same time the previous year. How many of those goals did you realistically achieve? Most New Year intentions are scuttled before the month of January is over.
Here is how you can better manage your goals and set out a clear plan of action for the coming months without falling into the typical traps.
All those “positive-thinking” self-help books are telling you to dream big and that nothing is impossible. Visualize your perfect life send the message out to the universe and voila your wishes shall be fulfilled. The disappointment is big when reality catches up. Sometimes also the dream come true can turn out to be a nightmare if it is not in sync with your soul purpose.
There are several steps that you can follow in better managing your life instead of blaming everyone from the government to your boss, spouse, or colleagues for being responsible for your dire situation.
Create a plan of action
Without a clear plan of action e.g. to exercise daily at a certain time to reduce weight or to set aside a certain amount in a savings plan per month, your intention will remain vague and merely a wish. See every small step of the plan of action as building the first bridge of many bridges toward what will one day manifest into that big dream.
Keep it simple and realistic
When writing down your goals you have to look at the baseline from where you are coming from. Is the goal a realistic objective for the coming months? Is it really achievable? Is the timeline realistic? If you set the goalposts too high you will soon get frustrated and surrender into self-blame and self-pity.
Clarify your intention
You need to be very clear on why you want something or why you want to achieve a certain goal. Do you want to earn a million dollars a year just to impress the nasty neighbor across the road? Or do you need more money to leave a positive footprint for the greater good? Do you want to lose weight to impress others or because you want to lead a healthier life so that you can see your grandchildren grow up?
Intention and soul purpose
Every individual has a unique purpose and destiny. The more connected you become to your soul through meditation or taking time out for silence or deep walking in nature the more you will become aware that the universe or God is always there, leading, protecting, and guiding you. We as a society have become so indoctrinated by false images that we have become disconnected from real BEING. It is mostly about accumulating external glitter. Real happiness comes from within. Connection to authenticity manifests in all other areas of life such as family, relationships, interaction with the world, and all it has to offer.
As a regular subscriber to my Blog you can download my FREE vision board that will help you map out your goals and intentions for the coming months.
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