Tag Archives: death

Thought about death today?

The Dalai Lama once said that what surprised him the most about the human condition was that “Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.

And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

Confronting our mortality is anathema in our western culture. We don’t talk about it and when a loved one passes we are expected to “get over it” and function again as soon as possible.

Cultural icons are expected to stay forever young. The dying are outsourced to hospitals and hospices and the dead are buried in well-manicured cemeteries far-off the beaten track.

Confronting mortality head-on

One of the multiple reasons for our mental health crisis and addiction epidemic is that we don’t confront our mortality head-on, compare ourselves with the Jones’ next door, and hope to live the “happy” life one day when we retire, when we get rich, when we find the perfect partner when we have that luxury car or that beautiful home.

There is a reason why the people in the small southeast Asian country of Bhutan are regarded as the happiest and most contented people in the world. Like in the world of our ancestors, death is part of everyday reality.

The Buddhist country encourages its people to think about death for at least a few minutes each day. Paintings, artwork, and house decorations often feature death. Funerals are an elaborate three-week event where the dead body is kept in the home before being slowly cremated over fragrant juniper trees in front of hundreds of friends and relatives.

Photo by Ming Zimik on Pexels.com

In Bhutan, death is merely seen as a transition to another dimension. The spiritual disconnect in our western culture has left no place for death or the ritual of death. I’ve had my fair share of loved family members and friends who have died during the past three years, jolting me back to reality and the age-old question: What are you doing with the rest of the days left in your life?

Because death is the big elephant in the room, we succumb to collective hysteria and grief when a well-known personality suddenly dies.

The University of Oxford Centre for Suicide Research found that the overall suicide rate in England and Wales rose by 17 percent in the four weeks after Lady Diana’s funeral in September 1997, compared with the average reported for that period in the four previous years.

A review of these patients’ case notes suggested that the influence of Princess Diana’s death was largely through “amplification of personal losses and exacerbation of existing distress.”

Talking about the human condition

We need to talk about the human condition, about death, our mortality, and that life at some point ends the way we know it. My passion is to help people improve their lives to such an extent that they have the vitality and energy to live out the life that they are meant to live.

Are you living the life you are destined to live?

Are you merely existing or living the life that you are destined to live? Are you stuck in a job or relationship that depletes most of your energy? Are you waiting for that day to arrive when you can finally start living?

Procrastination and fear is the biggest obstacle to the elevation of consciousness and spiritual growth. When you are doing things that are in alignment with your soul destiny you will, to quote Rumi, feel a river moving in you with joy.

If you are interested in diving deeper into the topic of goal setting, experiential spirituality, and an accountability coaching partner please contact me for a scheduled zoom chat and free get-to-know session.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

2 Comments

Filed under mental health, mental-health

Facing your biggest fear

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt

In our age of information overload a subtle message has been crafted that we are immortal beings. At the root of most fear is the fear of death. We are awakened to this truth when a loved one dies or when confronted with a terminal illness.

There is a lovely story from Indian folklore about a mouse constantly in fear that a cat would catch and kill her. The mouse was so fearful that it seldom left its burrow.

“How I wish I were a cat. I would then have nothing to fear,” the mouse thought.

A genie nearby took pity on the mouse. In an instant the mouse was turned into a cat. But then as a cat, she saw a dog and became afraid again, wishing she were a dog. The genie heard her again and her wish was granted. She turned into a dog.

Then she saw a lion and she was terrified by his power and strength and wished she could become a lion so that she would not have to be terrified ever again. Her wish was again granted and she became lion. At this stage, she saw a man who was about to shoot her with a gun. Naturally, she wished she could become a human and she did. But then, when she was sitting in her house, she saw a mouse. She started shouting for she was scared of the mouse!

Fear is an illusion

Most fear is an illusion of the mind. It distorts, perverts and falsifies the reality of the moment. Fear often breeds anger and anger turns to hate. It is the fuel of the professional deceivers whose messaging is amplified to millions on social media. We fall prey to our deepest fears if we don’t recognize and confront them.

A typical reaction to fear is distraction and addiction. It could be anything from substance abuse to digital entertainment. The distraction is only momentary and will not remove the underlying fears that grow ever bigger as we lose control of our thoughts.

Looking fear into the eye

The first step in transmuting fear is acceptance. “Yes, I am afraid that I won’t have enough money to pay the rent. Yes, I’m afraid of losing my job. I’m afraid of falling ill…” In imagining the worst-case scenario you will soon realize that your fears are only thoughts. Replace those fears with what would be the opposite of fear such as courage and self-confidence. Some personal mantras could be the following:

  • I have full trust in the creative power of the universe to provide an answer.
  • A am a magnet of health, prosperity and abundance.
  • I have faith and trust.
  • I love and accept myself the way I am

Structure and planning

Winston Churchill once said that plans are of little importance but planning is essential. We like to structure and control our lives. But life is never like that. Unexpected external circumstances like a global pandemic are especially challenging for people who like to be in control of things. At times we simply have to accept things as they are and let go. The falsity of things to which we become too attached are revealed during times of crisis.

Recognizing fear

Typical physical reaction to fear is a shortness of breath, an increased heartbeat, sweating, or chest pain. You might wake up at night having bad dreams or finding yourself in the rollercoaster of a thousand different thoughts and scenarios. There are numerous methods of practicing mindfulness and meditation. One of the most effective ways of practicing alignment and thought discipline is the way you breathe. You might want to check out my downloadable online course here.

Time for introspection

Especially during times of crisis it is crucial to take a time out for introspection and reflection. Toxic emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, chronic negativity and hate will turn you into a stranger to your true self. Below the surface of the darkness lie hidden the seeds for renewal and change. Accepting and loving the self with all the shadow and the light is finding the inner truth and the path to soul purpose.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing…

If you have found this article useful please share to spread the message. I’ve also recently compiled brand new online courses that you can download onto your computer or smartphone on ways of how you can transform your life on multiple levels. Also check out the recent reviews of my book “Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health