How would you feel when after your passing you were shown by an angel the life you could have lived but didn’t live because you were too afraid to take action or spent a life in misery by blaming everyone else, especially your elementary family for what went wrong in your life?
To some degree, it’s everyone’s story. Families and relationships are strained by divorce, emotional abuse, financial issues or poor physical and mental health. But the external world, especially social media, indoctrinates us with the message that we are always supposed to be happy. Life is never like that. The seasons of nature teach us that we go through cycles of spring, summer, autumn and winter.
Our grievance culture thrives on negativity which has become like a virus infecting individuals and millions of people in entire nations. A person infected with grievance culture is incapable of self-reflection and taking responsibility. He would rather wallow in feeling sorry for himself for what all the others did to him in creating the situation he finds himself in. By blaming others he has a perfect excuse for not taking action to change the status quo.
Victim culture can poison entire nations
On a macro-level, it is a hallmark of fascist and extremist movements led by demagogues who have the ability to channel the toxic emotions of hate, anxiety, and fear into blaming ethnic minorities, other religions, political parties or genders for everything that has gone wrong in society. The fascists of Nazi Germany found fertile ground in stirring the flames of existing 19th-century Prussian militarism, hurt national pride, and prejudice toward the Jewish minority.
Comparisons with the current situation in Russia are striking. The Russian leadership is effectively using hurt national pride after the collapse of the Soviet Union to justify the invasion of another country. The messaging from state Russian media is that NATO was responsible for starting the war and that the atrocities committed by Russian troops are fake news.
A democratic modern Germany and the European Union could only be built after total defeat of Adolf Hitler and the realization that nationalism can never be a solution. In the same way dramatic changes in Russia will possibly only came after total collapse of the current authoritarian economic and political order.
Grievance culture is an addiction to a mindset. The individual is in total denial that there is a problem. The healing process is then only possible during an epiphany that comes with a flat-on-the-ground moment. The frustration level, disgust, and pain threshold has reached such a level that the first steps toward changing the situation are taken.
Life is cyclical: Winter is a time for reflection and opportunity
The winter cycles of life when we are in pain, grief and suffering offer also the greatest opportunity to an elevation of consciousness and change. Conflicts in relationships, in a job, or in a family are signposts pinpointing that changes need to be made, and that the status quo is no longer working. You are given an opportunity by the universe to dig deep into your inner resources, your inner truth, and your soul purpose. The winter cycles of life are a time for withdrawal and self-reflection where the ideas, and opportunities for the next cycle, spring, are born.
Some of the most successful start-ups have been founded during an economic downturn or recession. Several of the world’s most outstanding business and political leaders transmuted the winter years of their lives into activism, leadership, and creativity. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison, never losing sight of the long-term goal to become president of a non-racial democratic South Africa.
Martin Luther King wrote about his own suffering:
“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it a virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive.”
Success for these outstanding personalities came after many trials and tribulations where any normal person would have succumbed to bitterness and blame. We see often only the end result of their accomplishment and not the rough path, the inner work, discipline, and dedication they built to get there.
Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker
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