Tag Archives: loneliness

by | July 21, 2025 · 7:14 am

Why are we all feeling so disconnected?

Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people, yet feeling completely alone? Or waking up with a low hum of worry in your chest, and you can’t quite name why? If so, you’re not alone.
You may be carrying what many experts now recognize as one of the most widespread pains of our time – loneliness.

Emotional loneliness rooted in disconnection has become an epidemic of our time. The World Health Organzation Commission on Loneliness equates the health risks of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day with increased risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, anxiety and depression. Social isolation and loneliness is a global epidemic affecting at least one in six people across all age groups.

Disconnection doesn’t just happen when we lose touch with others. It happens when we lose touch with the inner self, with purpose and the divine.

This can be especially true during transitions in life, such as adolescence, retirement, when old friendships fade, or when mothers in midlife face a season of redefinition after their children have left home. You may feel invisible after years of showing up for others.

But here’s the sacred truth: Your worth is not tied to your productivity. You are not meant to disappear. You are meant to go deeper into exploring your soul purpose and who you really are.

The Underlying Hum of Anxiety

Modern life is overstimulating, and there is a constant information overload, which compounds underlying anxieties such as financial, health, and other concerns. This emotional static gradually wears down your spirit and vibrational energy.

But the way out isn’t to hustle harder. It is to pause, reflect, and readjust. Take a step back with a deep inhaling and exhaling breath. Say to yourself. I love and accept myself the way I am. I am guided and protected.

Shifting grounds

Our world is shifting rapidly, technologically, politically, and spiritually. Change is part of the evolutionary process and the cycle of life. It can be a gift, but it can also create uncertainty, fea,r and the retreat into an “uncomfortable” comfort zone. But stability is never created externally. It begins with the sacred center. In the space of stillness, the spirit speaks.

What Can You Do?

Here are a few soul practices to gently guide you home:

Sacred Silence

Take just five minutes a day to sit in stillness with no agenda, no expectations. Simply be. Let your breath become your prayer, anchoring you to the present moment. If sitting feels challenging, take a gentle walk in nature. Tune your awareness to the symphony around you, the birdsong, the hum of bees, the whisper of the wind through the trees. I feel especially connected when I practice Tai Chi outdoors. Often, I’ve experienced magical moments with animals drawing near, as if responding to the quiet presence and deep focus of the moment.

Reach Out

Talk to friends, reach out to people that you connect to deeply, and who elevate your energy. A great way of building resilience is to really connect with people. We are hard-wired as social beings. But sometimes we tend to retreat into quiet, lonely suffering if we don’t feel good.

Affirm Your Truth

How you talk to yourself, both positively and negatively, has a huge impact. Instead of saying: “This will never work. I’m a fraud and a failure. Nobody loves me.” “I’m alive and blessed in multiple ways. Opportunity and abundance come my way.“

Or,

“I am not alone. I am connected. I am safe in this moment.”

Repeat it until it begins to feel true.

And here are some gentle questions for reflection:

  • Where in my life do I feel most disconnected?
  • What do I need to feel seen and supported?
  • What practices help me return to my grounded self?

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

2 Comments

Filed under happiness

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

by | November 27, 2024 · 2:50 pm

Understanding Loneliness vs. Solitude

Loneliness and solitude are often confused, but they are fundamentally different. Loneliness is not merely the absence of human relationships. It reflects a deeper sense of inner emptiness, signifying a lack of meaning and a disconnect from purpose.

Loneliness is a place of pain where the void often manifests in addictions, especially to external distractions that ultimately create more suffering.

Solitude is an intentional choice

Solitude, on the other hand, is the intentional choice to spend time alone. It is a self-created space for recalibration and mental detox.

In solitude, the mind is given the opportunity to quiet itself, creating a fertile ground for personal growth, self-discovery, and creativity.

While loneliness drains, solitude replenishes.

Meditation, yoga, tai chi, and deep walking in nature are only some of the useful tools in training the monkey mind to be really present and appreciative of the magic of the moment.

img_6521

But what if the pain is so deep that every moment alone is a place of torture?

Anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a loved one, the trauma of a break-up or divorce, financial disaster, the loss of a job or a life-threatening diagnosis will know that during such moments you need more than ever stable relationships and community to help navigate the crisis. Sometimes it is just important for another being to be present, holding a hand in silent compassion.

Human connection is fundamental

Human connection is fundamental to your well-being. It’s easier to transform pain when you feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by others. Yet, modern society’s focus on individualism—liberty, personal expression, and the pursuit of a singular life purpose—has often come at the expense of community.

 A study on “Social Relationships and Health” by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton (published in PLoS Medicine, 2010) revealed that that loneliness and social isolation significantly increase the risk of poor mental health and mortality. On the other hand the effects of social connections on health were found to be comparable to or greater than well-known risk factors such as smoking cessation, physical activity, and obesity management.

As social beings, we thrive in connection and falter in isolation, both mentally and physically. Yet, we find ourselves increasingly divided into opposing camps of “us” versus “them.” Strong religious and political ideologies—sometimes addictive in their nature—further deepen these divides, often fueled by external influences with hidden agendas. The rise of religious orthodoxy and political extremism underscores this growing fragmentation, creating artificial “tribal” communities that exclude rather than include.

The innate universal human quality for compassion, is frequently sacrificed on the altar of rigid beliefs and superficial differences. They are amplified by external forces, clouding the ability to see a shared humanity.

Yet there is a path back to serving both the true self and community – solitude. Taking even a few minutes each day to disconnect from the noise can ground you, fostering self-compassion, and reignite your capacity for love.

When you cultivate self-love, you naturally extend that same compassion and energy outward, treating others with greater understanding and kindness.

True connection begins within. By rediscovering our compassionate nature, we can bridge the divides and reclaim the value of community.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Leave a comment

Filed under gratitude, happiness, lifestyle management, meditation, nature, self-development, spirituality

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

by | March 9, 2021 · 7:43 am

From loneliness into solitude

We have all at some stage in our lives had to deal with loneliness or the feeling of being left alone. I’ve always had to deal with different facets of loneliness on my pilgrimage walks on the Camino. There is a subtle but important difference in feeling lonely and finding solitude.

Pablo Picasso once said that without solitude no great work of art is possible and the singer Naomi Judd describes solitude as “refreshment of the soul”. Transmuting loneliness into solitude is a deep dive into the true self.

But the feeling of an empty loneliness is pervasive in our modern society that then turns into an obsession with external and illusory gratification. This comes from the lack of solitude in a noisy world with the echo-chambers of the media world tugging at us. There is a constant drumbeat of how we are supposed to be living our lives.

Living a life of having or a life of Being?

Living a life of having instead of a life of Being is bound to disappoint. But the lie that life begins when we have that house, that car, that perfect spouse or that perfect job is robbing you of the preciousness of the present moment. Ask anyone having heard the diagnosis of a life-threatening disease, or having suffered a great loss on how priorities can change overnight.

A disconnect from the spiritual lies at the core of loneliness. There is a deeper meaning to Jesus’ teaching: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Photo by resa cahya on Unsplash

Self-care and self-love as the path to bliss

It is a commandment to connect the heart to the soul – in essence to connect with God. But this is only possible if you love and respect yourself. If you don’t practice self-care and self-love, you will be constantly pulled out of alignment. What you are you will attract. If you are feeling angry, frustrated and judgmental, you will attract that energy. You will especially be blaming others for your feeling of unhappiness. Current politics is a reflection of society and its its underbelly of unconscious mind that seeks to blame, vilify, distract, distort and turn the lie into truth. Unhappy people have the tendency to pull other people into their unhappiness. It is the fuel of nationalism and xenophobia. Our time is incredibly vicious with its bombardment of noise and visual sensation.

Connecting to the heart, to the innermost being of soul, is only possible during solitude. The 13th century Mystic Meister Eckart describes the process as a “detachment” from the external world and to be empty. “The detached heart does not ask for anything at all, nor has it anything at all that it would like to be rid of. Therefore it is free from all prayer and its prayer is nothing else than to be uniform with God.” He describes what the masters of Zen Buddhism call the bliss in the space of emptyness.

Befriending inner solitude

While personality and ego is still focused on the validation from the external, the soul nature finds connection to the divine during solitude. The divine is felt in nature itself, in the vibration of deeply inspirational music or in the quiet contemplation of a work of art. There is no fear of death as this is merely a pathway to another dimension. We are eternal souls currently having a human experience.

As you start befriending your inner solitude, the contrast between the chatter of external thoughts and the authenticity of the deeper self become clearer. At times you need to withdraw from the world to get a clearer picture of who you really are and for what purpose you were born.

Making room for silence

Having conducted a multitude of workshops on stress resilience and preventive health during the past decade, I am convinced that our modern lives have become so noisy and cluttered with stressful thoughts that too little room is left for silence. It is almost as if we are running away from the blessings of the spiritual.

Fyodor Dostoevsky is quoted as saying:

“A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself and for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love, and, in order to divert himself, having no love in him, he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest forms of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal. And it all comes from lying – lying to others and to yourself.”

Recognizing the inner truth is the recognition that soul and purpose are closely intertwined. Growth of consciousness is an ongoing process of discovery, re-definition and reconfiguration. It is part of the wonder and mystery of life.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing…

If you have found this article useful please share to spread the message. I’ve also recently compiled brand new online courses that you can download onto your computer or smartphone on ways of how you can transform your life on multiple levels. I will also host from March 17th every week for eight weeks a live online event of practical Qi Gong exercises to boost flexibility and mindset.

3 Comments

Filed under spirituality

Tagged as , , , ,