Category Archives: happiness

by | June 23, 2025 · 8:44 am

The Dark Forces Behind Trump’s Ascent

Outside the United States, the dominant narrative often ridicules Donald Trump as a bumbling demagogue, rambling, incoherent, and detached from the nuances of governance. But this portrayal misses the deeper forces at play.

Trump’s rise was not accidental; it was engineered with the backing of ultra-conservative oligarchs who possess both vast resources and a strategic vision. These were not grassroots movements but top-down maneuvers with ideological roots and economic interests.

Read also my Blogs, some written well before the events currently unfolding

Sleepwalking into authoritarianism

You are the master of your destiny

The evolutionary advantage of empathy

The erosion of the political center

The erosion of the political center and the rise of polarization in the U.S. have been profoundly shaped by libertarian and conservative factions endowed with virtually unlimited funds. Billionaires like Peter Thiel and Elon Musk have openly stated that Trump’s ascent would not have been possible without their support. And their motivations are far from altruistic.

Both Thiel and others in this elite class have cited Ayn Rand as a formative influence. Her novels, widely read across the U.S., present a moral universe where self-interest is a virtue and government is the enemy. Rand’s rejection of regulation and welfare has nurtured a radical anti-state ideology that now animates the far right with their “deep state” conspiracy narratives. In her worldview, society’s value lies with the so-called “makers”—a few brilliant individuals who create wealth and innovation, while the majority are portrayed as burdensome “losers.” Here is an interesting background report to Thiel’s philosophy.

The disturbing elitist anti-democratic instinct

This elitist framing feeds into a disturbing anti-democratic instinct, where the “masses” are seen as lazy, entitled, and undeserving of political agency. It justifies an authoritarian approach under the guise of meritocracy.

Yet Rand’s extreme individualism stands in stark contrast to the core values that have historically bound societies together, such as empathy, community, shared responsibility, and spirituality. Her ethical framework, which pits rational selfishness against what she paints as servile altruism, ignores the vast moral terrain between those extremes. Most philosophers reject her ideology as an inadequate foundation for a just society. It fails to account for justice, compassion, and the relational fabric that makes us human.

Rand’s capitalism is idealized as a flawless, self-correcting system—blind to monopolistic power, environmental destruction, labor exploitation, and corporate manipulation. Within this context, the so-called crusade by Elon Musk’s “Doge team” to dismantle the “deep state” is easier to understand. It is not a battle for freedom—it is a push to eliminate oversight, regulation, and democratic checks and balances that constrain oligarchic power.

Truth is the first casualty

This becomes especially alarming when such immense power is concentrated in individuals who can bend public opinion to their will through control of social platforms and narratives. Truth is often the first casualty of authoritarian ambition, and we are witnessing this erosion in real time. Media outlets that deviate from the approved script are threatened with lawsuits or delegitimized outright.

What is unfolding in the United States will reverberate globally. Liberal democracies—already struggling to maintain the credibility of their institutions—are on the defensive. The far-right argument is gaining traction: that democracy is inefficient, corrupt, and too cumbersome to solve today’s challenges. Bureaucracy is cast as inept; public service is derided; the concept of government itself is being hollowed out.

This narrative is not unique to the U.S. During the Brexit debate, the cry of “freedom from Europe” resonated with voters convinced that Brussels was squandering British taxpayers’ money. That campaign triumphed, but the aftermath has been devastating. Brexit has curtailed travel, limited residency rights, and is expected to shrink the U.K.’s GDP by at least four per cent annually in the years ahead. It is one of the most self-destructive political decisions in modern European history.

The argument from the extreme right is increasingly explicit: benevolent authoritarianism is superior to democracy. But history tells a different story.

Vladimir Putin rose to power promising order after the chaos of the Yeltsin years. Over time, he dismantled Russia’s democratic structures entirely. Today, the wealth of the nation is concentrated in the hands of Putin and a small cadre of oligarchs, while dissenters are imprisoned, exiled, or killed.

Even so-called reformist authoritarians come with deep costs. Mustafa Kemal Atatürk modernized Turkey and established a secular state, but did so through repression of opposition and suppression of civil liberties. Deng Xiaoping lifted millions out of poverty in China, but maintained strict one-party rule and oversaw brutal crackdowns, including Tiananmen Square.

Ultimately, the question facing millions in this age of disorientation and instability is stark:

How much personal freedom are we willing to trade for the promise of economic stability and safety?

Authoritarians offer a compelling message: democracy is messy, crime-ridden, and overly tolerant of “the other.” They promise law, order, and security. But this is a mirage. There is no true safety in an authoritarian state. Free expression becomes a privilege of conformity. Those who think differently, worship differently, or challenge the status quo are criminalized, dehumanized, imprisoned, or worse.

Such regimes give birth to dystopias devoid of creativity, individuality, and hope. Citizens are reduced to obedient subjects, forced to idolize leaders who, in truth, hold them in contempt.

Authoritarianism doesn’t just erode the soul of a society but rewires its moral compass, hollowing out the institutions that hold truth, justice, and human dignity in place. Once that unraveling begins, rebuilding becomes a generational challenge.

It often follows in the aftermath of economic ruin, fractured communities, and the silencing of critical thought. The cost is not merely political; it is spiritual and cultural. What is lost is not easily recovered: the ability to dream freely, to dissent without fear, to imagine a shared future that belongs to all. The true danger lies in the kind of people we become under authoritarian rule.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

P.S: If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my very latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and where all good books are sold.

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by | April 21, 2025 · 9:48 am

Finding Peace Through Contemplative Prayer

In times of crisis, prayer can become a sacred act of surrender and spiritual growth. When we release the need to control, prayer opens a quiet space where the soul can rest, realign, and remember its connection to the greater Oneness.

Regardless of religious background, contemplative prayer can serve as a lifeline, anchoring the soul in resilience and peace. By turning inward and detaching from external distractions, we remember who we truly are.

The great 13th-century Mystic Meister Eckart describes his concept of prayer as one of “Gebet aus ledigem Gemüt”, which translates from the German as a prayer detached from the conceptual mind – a turning inward to the heart-mind.

The two eyes of the soul

Eckart describes the soul as having two eyes. The soul’s inner eye is that which sees into being, and derives its being without any mediation from God.

The soul’s outer eye is turned toward all creatures, observing them as images and through the ‘powers.’

“Any man who is turned in on himself, so as to know God by His own taste and in His own ground, that man is made free of all created things, and is enclosed in himself in a very castle of truth.

As I once said, our Lord came to his disciples on Easter day behind closed doors.

So it is with this man who is freed from all otherness and all createdness: God does not come into this man – He is essentially within him.” (Meister Eckhart, The Complete Works of Meister Eckhart, Sermon 66, Page 336)

For Eckhart, prayer “aus ledigem Gemüt” was a contemplative state of inner stillness with the soul liberated from all egoic desire and becoming receptive to the Divine presence, driven not by need but by love and union.

What we ask for may not serve our highest good

According to Meister Eckhart, God cannot always grant our requests, for we may still be in a state of unpreparedness. What we ask for may not serve our highest good, or it may simply not be the right time.

Like the soil that must first be tilled, the soul requires a practiced detachment. A receptiveness to divine gifts can only come by letting go of ego and desires. When we are prepared we receive not only what we ask for, but perceive the miracles of the very presence of God within all things. Without such preparation, we risk spoiling both the gift and the giver.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners

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by | April 14, 2025 · 9:58 am

The Cost of Ego-Driven Leadership

There appears to be a growing fascination with the “Elon Musk” style of forceful leadership glorifying a macho bravado over emotional intelligence. But behind the tough talk lies a troubling truth: Such an approach quietly erodes the foundations of a business. After 15 years in the consultancy field, I’ve seen it firsthand. If you want to damage a company from the inside out, lead with ego and ignore the human element.

My work facilitating countless in-house workshops in a wide variety of business sectors is backed by research. Leadership matters. How managers and supervisors engage with their teams directly influences motivation, performance, absenteeism, customer satisfaction, innovation, and long-term loyalty. The impact is immediate and often irreversible.

A significant share of workplace-related mental health issues such as burnout and depression, can often be traced back to organizational dysfunction, and how supervisors and managers treat their teams. When disengaged or unhappy employees are asked to evaluate their leaders, they frequently highlight a lack of core social and emotional skills.

Common complaints include:

  • Inability to address or resolve conflicts
  • Reluctance to acknowledge or validate good work
  • Micromanagement and controlling behavior
  • Excessive focus on minor mistakes or faults

In some cases, managers transferred to new departments quickly saw the same pattern emerge—high absenteeism, low morale, and disengagement—indicating that leadership style, not just environment, was the root cause.

On the other end of the spectrum, passive or absent leadership is equally damaging. Teams want leadership—but they want it from someone who leads with integrity, consistency, and emotional intelligence. The most respected leaders don’t shy away from accountability. They address underperformance, but they do so with what can best be described as tough love—firm yet fair, grounded in mutual respect.

People who feel dehumanized, disconnect

Constructive feedback uplifts and encourages growth. In contrast, harsh, demeaning, or fear-based criticism—what some might call the “kick-arse” style—erodes trust, silences initiative, and ultimately dehumanizes. And when people feel dehumanized, they disconnect. That’s how organizations slowly begin to lose their heart—and their talent.

Sport teams offer a great example of leadership style in action. Authoritarian coaches often bring short-term success but fail in the long-term.

Clear expectations, discipline, and structure can boost performance, especially in high-pressure or high-stakes environments like playoffs or elite competition.

Reduced Player Autonomy, Creativity
Over time, however, athletes under this style of leadership show reduced motivation, creativity, and autonomy. A lack of personal agency can stifle adaptive thinking on the field, a key to navigating unpredictable situations.

While some authoritarian leaders succeed in rallying teams through sheer force of will, they often fail to build trust or psychological safety. When things go wrong, blame replaces support, and that kills morale and camaraderie.

My experience is that companies grossly underestimate the cost of bad leadership. Costs can be prohibitive when highly-skilled staff leave, absenteeism rises, and new staff have to be recruited and trained. This comes in addition to the costs caused by demotivated staff in a culture of fear and negativity.

Authoritarian leadership fails over time

Authoritarian leaders in business often deliver quick results. They take control, issue orders, and expect compliance. In moments of crisis or chaos, that decisiveness can seem like strength. But over time, the cracks start to show—both on the field and in the office.

Great teams thrive on trust, mutual respect, and shared purpose. Authoritarian leaders undermine that by silencing voices and centralizing power. Over time, teams stop collaborating and start competing—for attention, approval, or simply survival.

Leaders who foster inclusion, creativity, and emotional intelligence over time are more successful. Satya Nadella, revitalized Microsoft with his emphasis on shifting from a know-it-all culture to a learn-it-all culture, emphasizing emotional intelligence and humility.

Ed Catmull, co-founder of Pixar, and author of Creativity, Inc., a go-to book on healthy leadership. is quoted as saying: “Give a good idea to a mediocre team, and they will screw it up. Give a mediocre idea to a great team, and they will either fix it or come up with something better.”

Success and happiness at the workplace is increasingly dependent on how we communicate and interact with others. At the workplace people operate either as takes, matches, or givers without expecting anything in return, according to famous Organizational psychologist Adam Grant.

Takers are those who almost exclusively act in ways that advance their own personal agendas. In their interactions with others, they are internally asking the question, “What can you do for me?” Matchers operate on a quid pro quo basis, giving in equal measure as others have given to them. Matchers’ interactions are based on fairness, with interactions based on the idea that “If you do something for me, I’ll do something for you.” The third group, the givers, is made up of people who are characterized by serving those around them. The interaction of givers is based on the question, “What can I do for you?”

Grant’s research, based on interviews with 30,000 people across a variety of industries and cultures, reveals that although some givers get exploited and burn out, the rest achieve extraordinary results across a wide range of industries.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners and “The Turning of the Circle” on how the underlying the laws of nature, give an invaluable insight into life’s evolutionary cycle.

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by | April 6, 2025 · 6:22 pm

Free Trade vs. Protectionism: Lessons from History

Humans are inherently wired for connection and cooperation. Our mental, emotional, and even physical health depends on it. Prolonged isolation, whether personal or collective, challenges our capacity to thrive. When nations retreat into isolationist protectionism, they may gain short-term relief but risk long-term stagnation, weakened innovation, and social fragmentation.

Historically isolationist economic policies leads to stagnation, inefficiency, and missed opportunities. One of the best examples of a nation falling behind in naval, military, and industrial technology was the Chinese Ming and Qing dynasties of the 14th century. Fearing foreign influence and cultural impurity, the rulers severely restricted trade, costing China its competitive edge for centuries.

Industries become bloated and inefficient under protectionism

Post-independence, India adopted a protectionist, centrally planned economy. Foreign goods and investment were restricted, and most industries heavily regulated. The result: industries became bloated and inefficient. India nearly defaulted on its debt in 1991 and was forced to liberalize its economy.

Throughout history, we can find countless examples of nations thriving when they get together to form a common economic space, standardize rules and break down commercial barriers.

The success story of Hanseatic League of medieval merchant cities

The Hanseatic League (from the 13th to 17th century) was a confederation of merchant towns that collaborated for mutual benefit, and in many ways was a precursor to the European Union. Located along the North Sea and Baltic sea routes cities like Hamburg, Bremen, Lübeck, Danzig created an economic powerhouse based on shared interests, smart geopolitics, and commercial innovation.

The European Union stands as a remarkable testament to the power of unity, bringing together nations like France and Germany, once bitter enemies in centuries of war, into a partnership of peace and collaboration.

Countries once marked by poverty, such as Spain and Portugal, along with former Soviet Bloc nations like the Czech Republic, Poland, the Baltic states, and Romania, have found profound benefits in their EU membership—economically, politically, and socially. The EU has not only transformed these nations but has also reshaped the very idea of cooperation, showing how shared purpose can overcome history’s deepest divisions.

The notion that free trade is beneficial for all was first mooted by David Ricardo, a 19th-century British political economist. Ricardo introduced in 1817 the theory of comparative advantage in his book “On the Principles of Political Economy and Taxation.” His idea was that even if one country is more efficient at producing all goods than another country, both can still benefit from trade if they specialize in the goods they produce relatively more efficiently.

Factories in Bangladesh, Vietnam or China can for instance produce clothing much cheaper than in the United States, Canada or Europe. Consumers in these countries again can buy such imported clothing at a much cheaper price than if they were produced at home.

Key Points of Ricardo’s Concept:

  • Comparative advantage (not absolute advantage) determines what a country should specialize in.
  • By each country focusing on producing goods where they have the lowest opportunity cost, total global production increases.
  • Then, through trade, all countries can consume more than they could in isolation.

Before Ricardo, Adam Smith had also praised free trade in his 1776 book “The Wealth of Nations,” arguing for absolute advantage—that countries should produce what they’re best at. But Ricardo’s theory was more powerful because it showed how even less efficient countries can benefit from trade.

Open markets push companies to innovate or die. Exposure to international competition fosters dynamic economies and technological advancement. Countries that trade together are less likely to go to war with trade interdependence promoting diplomatic ties and global stability. Free trade has lifted millions of people out of poverty especially in east Asia.

Most economists agree that tariffs or quotas should only be used selectively such as protecting key sectors during economic transitions. Free trade should also include safety nets such as retraining programs and unemployment benefits.

Brexit is one of the most compelling modern case studies on free trade vs. protectionism, and more broadly, economic integration vs. sovereignty. The United Kingdom (UK) was a member of the European Union from 1973 until 2020. It decided to leave the EU, known as “Brexit” following a referendum in 2016. The populist call for protectionism and sovereignty gained more traction than rational economic arguments. Economists and analysts at Cambridge Econometrics found that, by 2035, the UK will be 311 billion pounds worse off and is anticipated to have three million fewer jobs. Other estimates put the annual loss in GDP at four per cent annually.

In summary, at the micro level, individuals who come together in a community experience greater mental and physical well-being. Human connection fosters resilience, purpose, and meaning. At the macro level, nations that cultivate shared values, mutual cooperation, and strategic alliances lay the foundation for lasting prosperity and peace. Connection is based on trust and courage. Isolationism however is marked by fear, divisive tribalism, and conflict.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners to be launched globally on April 8th, 2025.

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by | March 23, 2025 · 3:38 pm

The Evolutionary Advantage of Empathy

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou

Empathy is our greatest evolutionary strength. While Social Darwinists argue that survival belongs to the strongest and most ruthless, history and science tell a different story. Humanity’s ability to connect, and to uplift one another has ensured our survival as a species.

Elon Musk’s belief that Western civilization’s greatest weakness is its empathy is not backed up by the science. Social Darwinism and much of the rightwing media ecosystem argue that the “strong” rise to the top and the “weak” fail, justifying economic inequality. Empathy is perceived as vulnerability and weakness in the competitive business environment.

Empathy is often confused with passivity and “people pleasing”. However, numerous studies confirm that empathy is actually a strength, fostering trust, enhancing decision-making, and building strong relationships.

Leaders with empathy are more effective

A study by the Center for Creative Leadership (Gentry, Weber, & Sadri, 2016) found that leaders who demonstrate empathy perform better and are more effective in managing teams. Employees who feel understood and valued are more engaged and productive.

Contrary to the belief that empathy clouds judgment, research shows it actually helps people make more ethical and fair decisions. A study published in The Journal of Business Ethics (Wang, Hackett, & Cao, 2016) found that empathetic leaders were more likely to make morally sound decisions that benefited both individuals and organizations.

A global study by the Businessolver 2021 State of Workplace Empathy Report found that 92 per cent of employees believe empathy is undervalued in the workplace, and 72 per cent of CEOs say empathy directly impacts financial performance.

Empathy as Strength

Rather than being a liability, empathy is a strategic advantage—helping individuals and organizations thrive through stronger relationships, ethical leadership, and enhanced decision-making. True empathy is not about weakness or passivity but about understanding others while maintaining boundaries and making informed, impactful choices.

A society based on Social Darwinism where the strongest, wealthiest and most powerful are venerated is a doomed society that is less compassionate, less caring, and less kind. It is the very opposite of value-based Western society based on the fundamentals of Christian values such as caring for the sick and needy and the most vulnerable in society.

Empathy has been a critical factor in the survival and success of the human species. While physical strength and intelligence played roles, our ability to cooperate, understand, and support each other has been one of the most significant evolutionary advantages.

Unlike solitary species, early humans relied on group survival. Anthropologists like Sarah Blaffer Hrdy (Mothers and Others, 2009) argue that empathy—especially in the form of cooperative child-rearing—was key to human evolution. Groups that cared for their weak, sick, or young had a higher survival rate than those that abandoned struggling members.

In the global happiness Index, Scandinavian societies, particularly Finland have consistently polled highest as the most happy societies. Finnish society is characterized by high levels of trust—both in fellow citizens and in public institutions. This trust is nurtured by subtle yet deep social bonds where empathy helps people understand and support one another, even in a culture that might appear reserved at first glance.

Finland’s robust welfare system amplifies these effects by ensuring that people feel cared for by society.

This creates a virtuous cycle—when people see their society as compassionate and responsive, their own empathetic behaviors are reinforced, further boosting overall happiness.

Research in positive psychology has linked empathy with higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional well-being. Empathetic interactions help reduce feelings of isolation and stress, which are key factors in long-term happiness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners to be launched globally on April 8th, 2025.

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by | March 10, 2025 · 4:53 pm

The Illusion of Benevolent Authoritarianism

A rightwing media ecosystem has created the dangerous illusion that a benevolent authoritarian regime creates a more stable, equal, and prosperous society.

A common misconception is that strong, centralized rule brings order and stability. The reality is far bleaker. Having grown up in apartheid South Africa and visited communist East Germany multiple times, I’ve seen firsthand how authoritarian rule breeds fear, stagnation, and deep societal misery.

Police brutality and oppression of dissent are commonplace

Although a small minority of white people in South Africa benefited from apartheid, it came at a huge price. With growing dissent and unrest coming from the oppressed black majority, state-sanctioned police brutality and oppression of opposition movements were commonplace. Every young white South African male was conscripted for military service after graduating from school. Many, including some of my own family members, are still traumatized today from fighting a senseless war in Angola.

Both South Africa and more so communist East Germany relied on heavy policing and informant networks. Friends, neighbors and even family members spied on each other.

When I first visited East Germany in the late 1980s, I was struck by the pervasive presence of the Stasi secret police, whose surveillance began the moment we crossed the border. The atmosphere was stifling—grey skies, empty stores, and a palpable fear that made any interaction with locals feel tense and uncomfortable. The waiters in the restaurants were unfriendly and even rude.

Scars remain etched in the collective psyche for generations

After the fall of the Iron Curtain and the reunification of East and West Germany, the scars of the communist era remained deeply etched in the collective psyche. The loss of national identity, coupled with an education system that falsely pinned the blame for Nazi atrocities on West Germany, contributed to a resurgence of fascist nationalism in the former communist regions, leaving a legacy of division and disillusionment.

When power dominates over kindness and compassion, it can take generations for a country to heal. People often adopt a survival mindset, prioritizing self-interest over community well-being. Corruption becomes normalized, and moral considerations take a backseat to personal gain, particularly prevalent in the former Soviet Union and its satellite countries.

Democratic countries in the long-term are far more successful economically. Free speech encourages artistic creativity. Free societies and open markets create a competitive environment with new innovations and technological advancement.

Democratic freedoms create happy societies

It is not surprising that the Scandinavian countries with strong workers’ rights, excellent social welfare, and lower income inequality, also find themselves on the top of the global happiness index. Finland has maintained the top position for six consecutive years, reflecting its strong social support systems, high levels of trust, and overall quality of life.

It appears that strong community bonds and supportive communities play a crucial part when it comes to longevity, mental and physical health. People thrive in democracies that are more sustainable, innovative, and equitable.

A system where the powerful rule, without checks and balances such as free media and rule of law, typically are prone to corruption, mismanagement, and crony capitalism. Control over media and education stifles critical thinking and creativity, slowing technological progress. In Nazi Germany, scientific research was distorted by racial theories with disastrous consequences.

Authoritarianism destroys human dignity

Authoritarianism may offer short-term order, but ultimately leads to oppression, destruction of all human dignity, social fragmentation, economic stagnation, and instability. Fear, oppression, and lack of autonomy contribute to widespread psychological distress. Political oppression, imprisonment, and violence leave lasting psychological scars, often lasting for generations.

Democracy despite all its flaws is the oxygen where humans thrive. The freedoms and values we enjoy in democratic societies are all too seldom cherished. To quote Martin Luther King: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | February 17, 2025 · 10:13 am

This too shall pass

“Like river tides and autumn leaves,
All things must drift, all things must weave.
No hand can hold the fleeting dawn,
For what is here will soon be gone.” — Unknown

External events, such as elections and economic cycles, can easily consume all your attention, pulling you away from your true purpose and inner joy. You may perceive the world as chaotic, making it harder to focus on the person you are meant to become.

If recent political events have left you feeling disheartened, powerless, or overwhelmed, know that you are not alone. Take comfort in the timeless wisdom: “This too shall pass.” Challenges are temporary, and no moment—good or bad—lasts forever. Stay grounded, keep perspective, and trust in your resilience.

The origins of the expression are unclear. According to Jewish folklore, King Solomon is said to have asked his advisors for something that would keep him grounded. They presented him with a ring inscribed with “Gam zeh ya’avor” (גם זה יעבור), which translates as “This too shall pass.”

The phrase has also been linked to several other traditions and later gained popularity in Western culture, and was famously quoted by Abraham Lincoln in a speech in 1859.

Lincoln made his remarks at the Wisconsin State Fair in Milwaukee, at a time of looming civil war, and rising political divisions over the slavery issue. He referenced an Eastern monarch who sought a phrase from advisors that would always be true in both good and bad times.

The answer he received was “This too shall pass away.” Lincoln used this phrase to highlight the idea that all circumstances—whether good or bad—are temporary.

The phrase serves as a powerful reminder to the wealthy, the powerful, and the arrogant that humility is essential, and success can be fleeting.

Just as nature moves through its cycles, life is impermanent, with good and bad times constantly shifting. Those who remain attached to power and wealth are especially vulnerable to these unpredictable forces, much like the changing seasons. They cannot be controlled.

Seizing back control when life becomes challenging

In the winter season of life, external events can at times be very challenging. But there are ways of how you can seize back control by focusing on those things that you can control:

  • Accepting a reality does not mean that you approve of it
  • You can control your response and your emotions to external events
  • Remind yourself that nothing lasts forever including challenging times

You can reframe your perspective into a question:

What can I learn from this and what opportunity may arise from this situation?

This is a time to build resilience by strengthening body, mind, and spirit. Falling into despondency and negativity will not serve you well. Try limiting your exposure to negativity such as negative social media and news events. Surround yourself with positive people and do things that boost your vibrational energy.

Practicing Gratitude

Being grateful for those things that are going well in your life can be a powerful tool of reframing emotions and feelings. Write down every day three things you can be truly grateful for.

Letting go of attachments to beliefs, perspectives, and emotions is a journey. Realigning with the rhythms of nature—listening to the wind, the rustling leaves, birds singing or the gentle flow of water—can be profoundly healing.

A deep walking meditation in nature allows for a reset, grounding yourself in the present moment. Whenever you feel weighed down, shift your focus to your breath. With each inhale, reconnect to your true self; with each exhale, release what no longer serves you.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | February 11, 2025 · 4:25 pm

The Power of Forgiveness: Doing it the Right Way

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.“

– Mahatma Gandhi-

Many misconceptions surround the act of forgiveness, especially when it involves those who have caused you the most pain. However, when practiced with true intention, forgiveness is not about excusing harm but about freeing yourself from the emotional weight of resentment and anger. By embracing forgiveness the right way, you elevate your vibrational energy, fostering inner peace, and a greater sense of emotional and spiritual well-being.

Holding onto a grudge, hate or resentment creates stress while forgiveness creates inner peace and restores the trust in human connections.

Most spiritual traditions emphasize forgiveness as a path to enlightenment, inner peace, and a sense of purpose but there are many misconceptions about forgiveness, often amplified by religious doctrine.

Studies show that forgiveness can lower blood pressure, improve heart health, and reduce chronic stress. The body and mind are deeply connected, and forgiveness can lead to measurable health improvements.

It does not mean that you have to restore a relationship with the person who has caused you much pain but releasing yourself from the toxic emotions related to that incident.

Common misconceptions about forgiveness are that you are excusing the behavior of the person who has hurt you or that you must reconcile with the offender. Forgiveness is not weakness but takes takes strength and courage in facing your own shadow.

In a recent conversation on my Living to BE podcast with forgiveness expert Katharine Giovanni we delved into the typical misconceptions about forgiveness, many of them stemming from early childhood patterns. The key takeaways from her new book “The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness”:

  • Emotional freedom and harmony is a long-term process
  • Forgiveness is a step-by-step process that can transform the soul
  • You can practice forgiveness without physically meeting the person who has caused you pain and even with those who have long passed.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

You can watch the podcast interview with Katharine Giovanni here and also on the Youtube channel Living to BE

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by | January 7, 2025 · 12:38 pm

Emotions and Health: The Hidden Connection

As you embrace the New Year with fresh intentions and resolutions, it’s crucial to recognize the emotional stressors that deeply impact your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

The medieval Sephardic Jewish philosopher Maimonides emphasized a holistic approach to health, integrating the physical, spiritual, and emotional dimensions of well-being. He notably highlighted chronic anger as one of the most harmful emotions.

Modern science echoes these teachings, revealing a growing body of evidence that underscores the importance of managing emotions and fostering mental health for overall physical well-being.

The Harmful Effects of Emotional Stress

Emotional stress profoundly affects physical health, serving as a root cause of numerous conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and certain cancers. Chronic stress also lowers your energetic vibration, pulling your mindset toward negativity, where you’re more likely to perceive—and attract—negative outcomes.

A study at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh has revealed perhaps the strongest evidence so far on the link between stress and the body’s capacity to deal with inflammation.

In moments of intense anger, pain, or fear, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for creative thinking and problem-solving—essentially shuts down, leaving you reactive and unfocused.

Short-term stress can be beneficial, such as helping you react quickly to avoid a car accident. However, chronic stress floods the body with hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which overburden vital organs such as the heart, kidneys, and liver. Prolonged stress also disrupts digestion and contributes to inflammatory diseases.

The Impact of Social Media and Negative Narratives

Modern stressors include the pervasive influence of social media. A poll of 14-to-24-year-olds revealed that platforms like Instagram and Snapchat amplify feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, often fueled by negative comments on appearance and self-image. Research from the University of Pennsylvania even found a strong correlation between negative language on Twitter and heart disease mortality.

Harnessing the Power of Choice

The encouraging news is that you have the power to choose your emotional and mental state. Positive emotions such as gratitude and happiness enhance immune function and promote longevity. Practices like laughter and optimism stimulate the production of natural killer cells that fight infection, while a positive outlook fosters healthier lifestyle habits.

Practical Steps Toward Resilience

To build resilience and effectively handle life’s challenges, consider these practices:

  • Nutrition and Exercise: Adopt a diet rich in high-nutritional-value foods and maintain regular physical activity.
  • Nature and Surroundings: Spend time in attractive, natural environments to rejuvenate your spirit.
  • Spiritual Practice: Incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine.
  • Emotional Shifting: Begin by accepting your current emotional state—be it anger, sadness, or fear. Fighting these emotions only reinforces them. Instead, focus on your breath: inhale and exhale deeply through your nose while counting to ten. This mindfulness can help you emotionally shift, replacing fear with trust, sadness with a joyful memory, or anger with calmness.

Guarding the Doorway of Your Mind

In today’s world, where grievance culture and negativity often dominate the narrative, it’s more important than ever to protect your mental state. Surround yourself with positive-minded people, and cultivate gratitude through daily rituals. For example, reflect on the best moment of the past 24 hours—it’s there, waiting to be appreciated.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 4, 2024 · 10:29 am

Home: Reflections on Place and Belonging

The landscape that you inhabit shapes you in profound ways, prompting the question: Where is home, and what environment truly nurtures your joy, energy, and zest for life?

Recently, I returned to South Africa, revisiting the places that defined my childhood. The journey was deeply reflective, stirring memories and a realization: home is no longer where it once was.

While timeless landmarks like the mountains and rivers of the Drakensberg endure, everything shaped by human hands changes—and often, tragically, deteriorates.

In rural South Africa, essential infrastructure like roads, sanitation, water, and electricity has largely collapsed or is on the brink of failure. Political corruption has turned state institutions into feeding troughs for party loyalists, leaving what was once the pride of Africa’s railways and roads in disrepair.

The place of home can shift

Circumstances led me to leave my birthplace at a young age. For years, I lived and worked in Germany—a land tied to my ancestral roots but one I could never truly call home. The long, cold, and wet winters left me battling colds and flu for weeks, an unmistakable signal that my well-being needed a different environment.

At times I was terribly homesick, longing for the blue skies, expansive landscapes, sounds and smells of my African homeland. It is easy to fall into the trap of melancholy sadness of what once was and is no more, the past becoming an idealized and distorted image.

Finding the place in the sun

Seven years ago, I found my place under the sun in Mallorca, Spain. It wasn’t until then that I fully understood how deeply geography, culture, and community impacts not just physical health but mental vibrancy and energy.

Sometimes, choosing to live someplace else does change everything for the better, notwithstanding that you always take yourself with you. Home is ultimately within. Home is what creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

Feeling at home sometimes shifts as you grow, adapt, and explore the world. At times, it’s where you were born or raised, rooted in childhood memories and traditions. At other times, it’s where you feel most alive, inspired, and at peace—a place or state of mind that aligns with your values, dreams, and well-being.

Recently the most renowned South African writer and poet Breyten Breytenbach passed away in his home in Paris. In his prose, Breytenbach frequently explored how the home one remembers rarely aligns with the home one finds upon return. The landscapes may remain familiar, but the social, political, and personal contexts often shift dramatically.

Returning home can evoke a profound sense of loss—of the self that once belonged fully to that place and the home that no longer exists as it was. Returning to childhood landscapes can be a complex, bittersweet experience, marked by both longing and alienation.

In a poignant in his book “Return to Paradise”, Breytenbach reflects:

We carry our homes within us,
shaped by the stories of our scars.
The land may hold its silence,
but the roads remember our footsteps.

Where is the place where you can truly breathe and thrive?

What does home mean to you?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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