Tag Archives: mind

by | November 8, 2022 · 7:23 am

Inner stock-taking

As we near the end of another year it’s time for inner stock-taking: Was it worth doing what I was doing so far this year? Is it worth devoting my life to it? Where do I need to realign with my inner calling?

Daily habits can either lure you into a state of slumber or elevate you into utilizing all your talents and creativity. Setting aside time each day to practice positive habits is one of the most powerful tools in self-development.

The compound effect of daily habits has a huge impact on how your life is today. A daily routine to keep body, mind, and spirit healthy is key. An exercise routine coupled with meditation is extremely powerful.

A morning ritual sets the anchor for the day. What do I need to concentrate on doing today? What do I need to be aware of? What lower vibration, emotion, or energy from the night do I need to release. What is my positive mantra for the day?

But finding a good closure in the evening is just as important. What were my happy moments of the day? What can I truly be grateful for? What was the primary lesson that I need to record in my journal?

A more in-depth stock-taking of accomplishments, failures or even disappointments is recommended at least every quarter. A reflection with a mentor, guide, or coach can provide much clarity. A mentor is a sounding board and will help you refocus on what is truly important and help you remove the clutter that is no longer serving you.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The biggest obstacles

There can be many obstacles coming your way that easily detract from the bigger picture and the goal-setting that you envisioned at the beginning of the year. Here are my biggest three.

Surroundings:

Are your surroundings in harmony with your calling? Is your room, apartment, or office cluttered with old things or stale energy from the past? The landscape of the house, village, town, city, or country you live in influences you in many subtle ways. The community, associations, and social conditions around you determine the vibrational field.

Associations:

Jim Rohn once said: “You‘re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Are those people you are around with having a positive, energizing influence on you, or are they pulling you down into a lower vibrational field with their negativity or narcissistic self-absorption. Who are the people that you would like in close proximity? Who are those that you need to limit contact with and those that you need to be keeping far away?

Distractions:

The pull of external distractions is probably the biggest obstacle of the three. Are social media, your mobile phone, Netflix, and all those things screaming for immediate gratification pulling you away from your mission in life, your most important objective, your dreams, your convictions, and your philosophy? Distractions can pull you into numerous directions where your thoughts are constantly dancing around in the past or the future.

Be kind to yourself

Even if you have failed to accomplish the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year and are in sadness and regret over missed opportunities or failures, it is important to remain in a loving and cherishing mindset to your inner self. Sabotaging yourself with negative self-talk can in extreme cases even pull you into a depression.

Be aware of the human condition that remains imperfect. You will have failures and disappointments. You will fall back into the trap of old habits. Life is happening all the time with its daily challenges and ups and downs. But the obstacles in the shape of people, events out of your control, unforeseen loss, and tragedy have shaped you into the person you are today and elevated you on a soul level.

You are on a journey of reconnecting to soul. You are much more than your physical body and its needs. As you walk the path of life you might deviate, and choose the wrong direction but ultimately set yourself onto the true path based on the learning experience you have had so far.

In a relaxed state of mind, in a space of solitude and contemplation, you will see things from a different perspective and be open to opportunity and growth.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | October 24, 2022 · 12:10 pm

Beware: Toxic emotions are a health risk

Are you getting caught in the maelstrom of grievance culture permeating the public narrative? Beware you are not only risking your health but also blocking the path to your inner voice and soul destiny.

The medieval Sephardic Jewish philosopher Maimonides devoted a considerable time of his teachings on a holistic approach to health including physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being, pinpointing chronic anger as being particularly harmful.

What the sages of old knew from observation and intuition is being confirmed by research. If you don’t have your emotions under control and are constantly triggered into negativity by external circumstances you are weakening your immune system.

At the same time, you are lowering your energy vibration. If your mindset is focused on the negative you will only be seeing the negative and attracting the same.

Your brain stem, also known as the animal or reptilian brain, is programmed to survive. When your thoughts are focused on a perceived danger your survival brain prioritizes survival functions such as an increased heartbeat and higher blood pressure. You are in fight or flight mode.

When you are in an emotional state of intense anger, pain, or fear you are no longer in control. Your prefrontal cortex part of the brain that is crucial for creative thinking, and problem-solving is basically switched off.

A short-lived stressful situation can have a positive effect in helping you slam on the brakes in a traffic situation. But it is the severe and long-term stress with the body permanently being flooded by stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline that is the killer. Your vital organs such as the heart, kidney, and liver are working overtime. Your digestive system is affected, ultimately causing inflammatory disease, according to a study

A poll of 14-to 24-year-olds showed that the frequent use of social media such as Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter increased feelings of anxiety and inadequacy because they facilitated negative comments about self-image and appearance. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found a strong correlation between the use of negative language on Twitter and heart disease mortality.

You have the power of choice

The good news is that you have the power of choice. A proper diet based on foods with a high nutritional value, regular physical exercise, attractive surroundings, walks in nature, a regular spiritual practice such as meditation will immensely boost your capacity to deal with momentary difficulties and challenges of daily life.

Photo by Prasanth Inturi on Pexels.com

You might want to listen to my podcast interview with best-selling author Liam Naden on harnessing the infinite power of the brain.

Emotional shifting is a practice where you first of all accept the situation you are in. Accept that you are angry, fearful, or sad. It is better to surrender to those feelings than to fight them. You are in survival mode with the monkeys dancing in your head painting horrible scenarios of the worst possible outcome of a situation. You are in survival mode.

Now take a step back, inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Focus your thoughts on your breath counting to ten. You might now be in the position to emotionally shift. Replace fear with trust, sadness with a happy moment, and anger with calmness of mind.

As the echo chambers of the external world continue their negative drumbeat it is more important than ever to stand guard at the doorway of your mind. Surround yourself with upbeat, positive-minded people. Be grateful for the small blessings in life by practicing a daily gratitude ritual. What was my best moment during the past 24 hours? There will be such a moment and relish it.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health

Tagged as , , , ,

by | June 7, 2022 · 6:05 am

Are you living someone else’s life?

Are you living through a life of a celebrity and forgetting to live your own life? Millions of people around the globe were glued for hours each day to the live coverage of the recent court drama between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

The business model of certain mass media is to elevate normal people like you and me to “God-like status” for the particular field they are successful at and then relish in their fall from grace with every detail of their shortcomings and failings.

The dynamics of the Depp and Amber relationship not only seems to have stirred a dark underside of their respective characters but resonated with something in the shadow of the collective consciousness.

We have the perfect Hollywood couple falling in love. It’s a paradise world where they have everything going for them – youthful beauty, fame, beautiful homes, and travelling to the most exotic places of the world in private jets. Then the curtain falls revealing a world of brutal accusations and counter accusations – a couple literally creating their own version of hell.

External success is no guarantee for happiness

What does that tell us? No matter what status, wealth and fame you have, it is no guarantee for happiness. “Both heaven and hell lie in your own mind. As heaven is your good memories and hell is your bad memories. Whether you want to enter into heaven or hell. It’s not at someone else hands. It’s your own choice,” according to Lord Robin.

Preoccupation with the lives of others is something we observe in village gossip, family drama and on the global stage. You can become so immersed with the life of another that you forget to live your own life. Celebrity worship syndrome (CWS) can become an obsessive addictive disorder. In extreme cases it results in stalking and in relatively mild cases regularly following a certain celebrity on social media.

Researchers in the United Kingdom have linked celebrity worship with higher levels of depression, anxiety and negative stress. Significant relationships were found between attitudes toward celebrities and body image among female adolescents.

We all have the same struggles, fears and anxieties

A big part of the problem is comparing one’s own unhappy and unfulfilled life with that of the celebrity who seemingly has everything that life has to offer. Such comparisons are based on illusion. On the material level certain individuals might live in completely different worlds. But on the consciousness level we are all humans with the same fears, anxieties, and emotional struggles.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The journey of life is ultimately a journey in growth of consciousness. It is practise of presence and in becoming aware of what the Holy Oneness, the Universe, or God whispers to the soul.

You have been given the power of choice. What you feed your mind with, what programs you watch on television, what books you read and the people you choose to spend most of your time determine who you become. What daily habits you practise have a major outcome on the quality of your life. It is a life with a limited timeline that you won’t want to squander.

As a wise sage once said: “You have all the time in the world and yet you have no time to lose.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | April 4, 2022 · 4:39 pm

Our so “easily offended” society

During recent travels with long hours spent at airports and in planes, I witnessed several people ranting over the smallest things not going their way. My impresson: We seem to have become a society infected with the “easily offended” bug.

It is not only my subjective impression. The United States Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) has reported that last year was the worst on record for unruly passenger behavior. Admittedly much of it was mask-related but I have seen passengers insulting air hostesses, punching the backs of seats, or verbally abusing fellow passengers.

There appears to be a real decline in basic politeness and respect for the public space with the pandemic-related restrictions only highlighting what has become an increasing problem: The “right” to throw a tantrum and utter verbal abuse no matter what the consequences.

Unfulfilled expectations: The cause of much unhappiness?

We as a society appear to have become less resilient in dealing with unforeseen external circumstances out of our control. Western culture has become so accustomed to its comfortable lifestyle that a minor discomfort is perceived as a massive problem. Compared to previous generations and life in poorer countries we live in unparalleled abundance and luxury. However, the more we have the less appreciative we seem to be.

When we are confronted with a “painful” or uncomfortable situation it can mean one of several things. Person A steps back and says to herself/himself. “I can’t change the situation now. Let’s see how we can go from here.” Person B has had a certain expectation that has been disappointed. He is unable to reflect like person A, and loses control. Unfulfilled expectations from a parent, an employer or a partner could be at the root of the problem.

Ego getting in the way

The person losing control has a certain ego-based image of himself, feeling entitled to a “privileged” treatment based on an illusory image of the self. Person A might have gone through a previous painful experience but dealt with it differently. What did I need to learn from this experience? What event in the past made me feel the same way hurt, embarrassed, helpless, and angry? By momentarily removing himself from the situation, Person A could realign with the wiser higher self.

Photo by Abbat on Pexels.com

What does the Will Smith incident tell us?

The media frenzy unleashed by the actor Will Smith slapping comedian Chris Rock on stage says much about our collective unconsciousness. Smith felt offended because the comedian allegedly insulted his wife in public. In retrospect, it appears Smith’s uncontrolled angry outburst could be related to his childhood trauma when he often witnessed his father insulting and abusing his mother.

But do we have to find excuses for inappropriate behavior? Where do we go as a society if we tolerate and accept abusive, impolite, violent, and disrespectful behavior, even from famous people? If they can do it why can’t I?

Smith’s action was that of an entitled badly-behaved Hollywood megastar, feeling entitled to walk onto a stage, slapping another person, returning to his seat, cursing and shouting, and refusing to leave when asked.

In our media-based world, we take much of our moral cues from what we see and hear on the screen. It is not just two Hollywood celebrities misbehaving whose world is far removed from the average person in the street. What happens in the coming weeks and what consequences and conclusions are drawn from the incident reverberate into society at large.

Feeling offended is so different from having to express”outrage” at what is obviously wrong. While Hollywood was dining and celebrating, Russia continues to bombard, and massacre civilians in Ukraine. Millions of ordinary people’s lives have been completely disrupted because Vladimir Putin felt “offended” by a democratic and sovereign nation on his borders.

If we are incapable of expressing our collective outrage about what Russia is doing to Ukraine and try to intellectualize it like some commentators still do with “the Russian perspective” or with the “neutrality” cop-out, we lose our moral compass. On some issues there just cannot be grey areas. Minor discomforts fade into insignificance if we reflect on the suffering of those millions of people.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , ,

by | March 14, 2022 · 4:34 pm

Leadership: The good and the ugly

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant. —Max DePree

During these times when the images of the horrors of war are constantly troubling our senses, it is so important to remain grounded. Every major crisis at the same time offers opportunities for realignment and change.

What we are seeing before our eyes is a vivid display of two different styles of leadership: One is that which galvanizes forces into positive action and service for the common good. The other is impervious to empathy, rooted in self-aggrandizement and intrinsically destructive.

Evil eventually destroys itself

Malignant narcissists, psychopaths, and highly egotistical individuals are inevitably drawn to leadership positions where they have unhinged control over large groups of people whom they can subjugate and bully into submission. They surround themselves with sycophants because they can’t bear criticism from others questioning their decision-making or authority.

Such authoritarian leaders, who eventually convince themselves that they have been elevated to God-like status by destiny, eventually ruin themselves and the companies, institutions, or nations that they have taken charge of. For, deep inside during those lonely hours at night they are haunted by their own insecurities, fears, and paranoia.

Unsurprisingly everyone that doesn’t toe their line is deemed as the enemy. Those who believe, think, and act differently are seen as enemies, foes, and competitors that need to be destroyed. The first stage is dehumanization by language followed by ever more evil acts of bullying and physical aggression. They ultimately leave a terrain of scorched earth if it serves their own purpose.

Good leadership is one of service

In contrast, the visionary leader sees his or her role primarily in that of service to others. They prioritize the self-development of others in their institution, team, or country. They are constantly aware of their own shortcomings and thus able to delegate, train and transmute their own shadows. Primarily they have the ability to listen, accept advice, admit mistakes, and correct them. They are in acceptance of one of the principles of creation – the chaotic diversity of life, ideas, and cultures.

Photo by Artem Podrez on Pexels.com

Authoritarian leadership is inevitably doomed to failure because the imposition of an individual belief or will is anathema to the chaotic and diverse beauty that calls itself life.

The French poet and novelist Victor Hugo first coined the phrase: “Nothing else in the world…not all the armies…is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.”

Around the globe, we are seeing a collective uprising of millions of people marching on the streets for peace, humanity, democracy, freedom of speech, sovereignty, and simply the right to live the life we are meant to live.

Good leadership as opposed to bad leadership serves the truth and never its own version of reality. During a time where truth becomes blurred by falsity we need wise leadership based on the intrinsic values of a common humanity.

Without fear, no courage. Faith overcomes fear and hope springs eternal. A vision that is of service empowers, strengthens, encourages, and instills peace and joy.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to read more in my books that can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , ,

by | December 30, 2021 · 6:02 pm

Recasting yourself for 2022

“In every change, in every falling leaf, there is some pain, some beauty. And that’s the way new leaves grow.”
― Amit Ray

The past two years have been a rough ride for many people. Many of us no doubt went into the year thinking the pandemic would soon be over. It seems now, however, that we will just have to learn to live different lives than we had envisioned.

One of the laws of life is unpredictability. At the same time our habits, fears, and mental resilience, in essence, determine how we deal with unexpected changes and challenges.

It is when the rug is pulled from your feet when the familiar map disappears when you are forced out of home territory that the universe is also offering you the greatest opportunity to reframe and redefine yourself.

How did you start the previous year?

Life is never a linear trajectory. How you look at things is a matter of mindset and perspective. How about looking back at the beginning of the old year and what thoughts you had then. Did you have any resolutions on how you would approach the year? Did those resolutions come to fruition? In fact, studies show that most people give up on their resolutions before the month of January has even ended.

A much better way of starting the New Year is by reflecting on the blessings of the past year. What were those five best moments and successes you had? Looking back will help you pick up on the positive lessons you learned and what positive habits you can build on. 

  • What three key lessons did I learn during the past twelve months?
  • What has to be accepted that cannot be changed?
  • What old relationships, concepts, and ideas do I have to liberate myself from?
Photo by George Dolgikh @ Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

Starting a daily gratitude ritual

Numerous studies show that people who have a daily gratitude practice and who count their blessings are happier in their lives. It shifts your attention from what is negative to what is positive in your life.

There are two exercises you could do in making the start of the year more positive. Start and end your day with a gratitude ritual. What three major positive experiences, meetings, or insights did I have during the past 24 hours?

We instinctively know that living a more fulfilled and happier life is linked to what habits we pursue. This is why we like to clean the slate and start the New Year with a positive outlook. But there are two common mistakes why most people give up on their good intentions:

  • The plan is too ambitious and unrealistic. A long list of all the things you want to change will leave you with nothing done. Keep what you want to change short, simple and realistic. If you want to get out of debt. Start by putting a small amount of money onto a savings account every month and don’t touch it. If you want to exercise more, start with a short ten-minute walk instead of trying to do a half hour every day. Improve on your diet and avoid all white sugars as a first start. Small changes in your daily routine, done every day of every week and every month bring about the big changes.
  • Negative self-talk will inevitably scuttle all your good intentions. How you talk to yourself has an immense influence. “I will never be able to do this?” “I’m not good at this.” “I was just born fat and ugly.” “Life is just the way it is and I just have to bear with it.” Try to turn the conversation around. “What can I learn from this?” “I love and accept myself unconditionally.” “I am blessed, everything is good and will turn out fine in the end.”

Change comes with small steps

Changing your set routines and habits starts with small steps. A good way of tricking the mind into doing something positive is by “piggybacking” a positive habit with an existing habit. If you have to take the dog out for a walk anyway, try taking a different route next time and walking a little longer. Or park the car some distance away from your workplace so that you are forced to do that extra walking. Replace a negative thought with a positive thought. Try breaking typical routines like reading a chapter in a good self-help book instead of spending the evening watching Netflix.

Highly successful people never rest on their laurels. They are continuously refining their self-development, knowledge, associations, physical and mental well-being. It is in finding a true purpose that we become who we are meant to be from the day we were born. Quiet moments of introspection, meditation, and deep walking in nature are crucial for realignment and aligning your intentions with the intentions of the universe.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Positive relationships

The pandemic has spotlighted how important our close relationships and network of supportive people can be during a time of crisis. Everything becomes so much easier if we are not “in it alone”. We are social beings. It is part of our DNA to feel seen, heard, and loved by those people most important in our life. If you are surrounded by positive-minded, uplifting people your stress resilience will be so much higher than that person who locks himself in a room and blames everyone else in the world for his misery. Good relationships are nurtured by reciprocity. If you are having trouble building friendships and maintaining long-term relationships, you need to ask yourself: What can I change in my behavior and thought patterns to draw the people into my life who do me good?

Life is a roller-coaster of constant change. We move through stages of joy, happiness, melancholy sadness, or frustration. The human story is marked by loss, failure, and setback. But is also one of joy, happiness, and celebration of the beauty that is life. It is the law of the yin and yang. If you are having a hard time at this point in your life you can be assured that this too will pass.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to check out our courses, retreats and books and ask others to also subscribe to this Blog.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | November 15, 2021 · 11:59 am

Is grievance culture contaminating your life?

“Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses in your life; you realize everything that happens in life is a result of the previous choice you’ve made and start making new choices to change your life.”― Roy T. Bennett

One of the biggest obstacles toward improving your vibrational energy, your mental health and your general sense of wellbeing is falling prey to the grievance culture currently appearing to dominate the public narrative.

The inner dialogue is primarily focused on some perceived external enemy responsible for all that has gone wrong in your life. You have abdicated responsibility for your past choices and actions. Everything that has gone wrong in your life is the responsibility of …

Entire countries and cultures can become obsessed with grievance culture, sometimes based on historical events or tragedies going back centuries. How far do we have to go back to historical comparisons or history? The nations of the European Union have fought bitter wars with each other for generations, finally realizing that peaceful, mutual cooperation is more beneficial for all.

Photo by Rosemary Ketchum on Pexels.com

Sadly in my home country, South Africa, “colonialism” seems to serve as an excuse for everything that is going wrong such as widespread government maladministration and corruption. This does not justify by any means British imperialism. My grandfather fought against the British in the Boer war and was held by the British as a prisoner of war on the island of St. Helena. It would be just as stupid comparing today’s Britain to the Britain of 1901 as comparing modern Germany to the Nazi Germany of the 1930s.

The loudhailers of grievance culture

Yet, the virus of grievance culture seems to infect a growing number of ordinary, educated people seeking simple answers to complex problems. Demagogues and political extremism is on the rise in most countries. The common denominator is that these groupings are mostly led by cult-like figureheads who become the loudhailers of grievance.

Russian President Vladimir Putin is obsessed with grievance as is former U.S. president Donald Trump. Putin has constantly spun the tale of the West’s responsibility for the collapse of the Soviet Union, the economic decline during the post-Soviet era, and Russia’s victimhood. Trump is obsessed with a “stolen election”, and a similar victimhood of a “deep state” conspiring against him.

Learning from the ancient Mystics

Once caught in the maelstrom of grievance culture all sense of humility and self-responsibility is lost. As the great 13th-century Mystic Meister Eckart wrote in one of his sermon’s. It is “running in front of God”. It is falling prey to the Ego-Mind.

The Ego-Mind will be blaming God, fate, people different from themselves, and basically everyone for what has gone wrong in their lives. They are filled with hate, resentment, and anger. They are the malignant narcissists of our age who seek only personal validation and glory. They will never change their opinion and are captured by attachment.

Attachment can be defined as a strong emotional bond to a person, thing, or cause. In extreme cases, it can be closely intertwined with personal perception and identity.

According to Eckart, there are those “imperfect” people who “walk close by God”, wishing to lead God rather than be led by him. They would like God’s will to be their will. We are seeing much of this behavior in religious and political fundamentalism. They are idealists at heart believing that the world would be an entirely different place if a certain ideology. belief or behavior is adhered to.

Joy is found in truth and humility

The “perfect” ones bow to humility in following God on a path that can also be one of hardship and suffering but ultimately leads to a life of bliss and happiness, according to Eckardt. It is what the Buddhists call living a life liberated from all forms of attachment.

It can also be understood as finding the connection to the inner spark of truth. Joy is found in the truth and the pursuit of God’s will, according to Eckart. The Mystic describes walking the path of truth and pursuing the will of God as “an ardent desire” where we are “illuminated and captivated by the depth of our being.” Walking behind is described as “sinking into the essences” of all things.

If you find yourself in the dark hole of complaining about everything wroing in your life or about the weather, politics, your employer or your spouse, then pause and take a deep breath. Take that emotional shift by changing your thought pattern.

You are lucky to be alive. If you are reading this you probably belong to a small group of humanity with running water, electricity, an internet connection, food and a fairly good roof over your head. You probably would also be living in a democracy free to express your opinions and beliefs. You can change your mindset in an instant and decide to take responsibility for every thought, and action you take from this moment onward. It is truly liberating to be responsible for your own life.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health

Tagged as , , , ,

by | June 16, 2020 · 5:27 am

Walking through the pain

But nothing is solid and permanent. Our lives are raised on the shakiest foundations. You don’t need to read history books to know that. You only have to know the history of your own life.” ― Ron Rash 

One of the misconceptions of the booming self-development industry and self-help literature is the implication that something is wrong with you if you have a “low moment.”

“How are you?” is the first thing you get asked by a friend or acquaintance when you meet after some absence. You are expected to respond: “I’m very fine thank you. And how are you?”

perchek-industrie-wY7AeHia2v4-unsplash

Photo by Perchek Industrie on Unsplash

Life is never a happy cruise

There is an entirely different reaction when you open up and tell the other person how you are really feeling. It’s either an uncomfortable silence or the other person will show empathy and maybe even tell you about their own challenge they are currently going through. Those are real moments of authenticity.

Life is not meant to be an easy cruise. We go through moments of happiness, then moments of grief and sadness. There might be current health or relationship challenges. While you are carefully laying out your plans God has a different agenda. Life is living on the edge with constant surprises and detours. But its the challenges and the low moments that force us into introspection. The current Covid-19 crisis and its ripple effects are a typical example.

One of the first lessons pilgrims learn when walking the Camino is humility. If you don’t walk the path with humility the path will teach you humility. Physical and emotional pain is part of the process that starts in the early stages of the walk.

This too shall pass

I’ve gotten hopelessly lost just when I felt too sure of myself or did not accept physical boundaries. You plan to walk a certain distance for the day then the weather changes and you have to make different plans or you have to keep on walking because there is no accommodation in the town you had planned to stay for the night.

In the acceptance of life’s ups-and-downs comes the confidence that even in these times of turmoil and great uncertainty is also the certainty that “this too shall pass!”

We know from our own biography that health and financial security can be very fickle. There is no such thing as safe ground. A risk can be reduced but it will not insure you against life’s surprises.

Living through pain and uncertainty 

The challenge is to transmute that pain and to move on. Procrastinating in the sadness on that which has passed and is irrevocably gone prevents you from living the moment and fulfilling your soul purpose.

In accepting and walking through the pain comes the elevation of consciousness. Accepting the setbacks, failures, and mistakes in life is being authentically human. Change and uncertainty are part of LIVING. We aren’t meant to be perfect.  We are mortal beings. As the soul moves on to the next dimension it takes with it new perception and the recognition that everything is Grace.

As the famous German lyric, Rainer Maria Rilke wrote there is not always a solution. It’s living within the question and being patient with everything that remains unresolved in your heart.
Reino Gevers – Author. Mentor. Speaker

Resiliencepic

Subscribe and get my FREE Booklet:

“Resilience: What makes you strong during times of crisis?

     

Leave a comment

Filed under mental health, mental-health

Tagged as , , ,

by | November 12, 2019 · 8:00 am

Mastering your emotions

Human relationships are extraordinarily complex and wrought with conflict as we soon realize when we are forced to spend time with people we would never have chosen as friends.

What emotions do you trigger in people?

There are people whose company we enjoy and there are people that make us feel uncomfortable as soon as they enter the room.  Mostly it is about what emotions they trigger within us. Sometimes our mere presence might trigger the demons within another person.

Our narcissistic culture is encouraging the right to vent and rant. Its why we are seeing so much online bullying that is causing great suffering and pain, especially among teenagers.

Putting the need to vent above the relationship

When one person in a relationship puts the need to vent over the impact this has on the long-term relationship, the consequences are inevitable.  A petty difficulty becomes a problem and the downward spiral begins.

The art is to learn mastery over negative thoughts and emotions, and to be giving, kind and living a meaningful, purposeful life.

Awareness is the first step

The root cause of an angry outburst often has its origins in an old pain that has not been transmuted. Leaving the “blame-game” and entering the process of self-reflection sadly mostly only begins after divorce, separation and other trauma.

Becoming aware of what emotion surfaces in any situation is always the first step to self-awareness. What makes me so sad, and so angry? What am I really angry about? Is it about the spilled milk or does that emotion go deeper? It is helpful in such a situation to focus on breathing. Inhale and exhale a few times before you respond to that hurtful email message.

Tapping is another good method of not losing self-love and respect despite being in a cycle of negative emotions. For me,  “Deep Walking”  in nature is one of the best ways of shedding those negative shackles that lie embedded in the subconscious.

Negative people are masters at manipulation!

Negative people are powerful manipulators. They feed on the drama they trigger and the attention from being the talk of the day.

In being human, we all have bad moments whether we are rich, famous, poor, beautiful or just ordinary.  The difference between the happy, successful people and those that are in a permanent cycle of negativity is the ability to transmute every experience and to move on in the understanding that life is cyclical.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)
https://www.reinogevers.com

Gevers-DeepWalking CVR.indd               paperback_cover_1                            applepodcast         

 

Leave a comment

Filed under lifestyle management, psychology, raised consciousness, self-development, spirituality, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , ,

by | August 27, 2019 · 6:39 am

Feeding the narcissist

We are living in the age of the narcissist. Social media has opened a Pandora’s Box which has provided the ideal tool for the narcissist personality to tap into toxic emotions that have swept him into political power.

Narcissists are obsessed with attention

The narcissist first and foremost feeds on attention. He is obsessed with it and will do anything to be the talk of the town. He will rant and insult with every tweet, knowing that this will keep fueling the fire of the boiling cauldron.

Narcissist leaders are especially dangerous because they are unaware of what effect their words have on certain ears. The rightwing extremist will read a tweet by the person in authority ranting about immigrants as validation to take a gun and open fire on innocent people of color in a supermarket.

manyu-varma-aDXV4GbqHcQ-unsplash

Photo by Manyu Varma on Unsplash

Insulting indigenous people for their calls to protect the Amazon rainforest is seen as the green light by illegal loggers and miners to set fire to the earth’s largest still intact ecosystem.  It gets to the point where a British prime minister and his supporters would rather take into account an unprecedented economic disaster than losing face on their commitment to leaving the European Union.

The narcissist is only in love with himself

The larger consequences for a country, society and our planet are of secondary importance to the narcissist. He is only in love with himself and in his self-aggrandizement.

A narcissist feels that it is his right to vent anger no matter what effect this has on everyone around. He is on a mission in dividing and polarizing a society, family, political party or religious group. It is a hallmark of this personality that they are immune to the effects their actions have on everyone else. The primary purpose is to keep on churning the marketing machine of name recognition.

Narcissist culture turns the lie into truth 

We are living in dangerous times where part of the narcissist culture is to turn the lie into a truth. Scientists are defamed as messengers of “fake news” and lose their jobs. Narcissists are experts at gaslighting where the truth is manipulated in such a way that the recipient of the message will start having doubts about his/her own sanity.  They are experts at changing the narrative to serve their own truth. Sowing confusion and spreading disinformation is part of the methodology of the narcissist who then postulates himself onto the stage as the only purveyor of the truth.  Their charisma will enchant people into their orbit but the narcissist will dump them like a useless object when they are no longer needed. Those who have the audacity to reveal the lies and deceit will find themselves at the receiving end of personal insult and bullying. The narcissist is very good at dishing out but is very thin-skinned when at the receiving end.

The Narcissist feeds on toxic emotion and drama 

The current crop of narcissist leaders will stop at nothing and have no problem in leaving scorched earth in their wake.  Especially the news media needs to stop falling for the bait that is thrown at them with every rant and tweet. We need to be mindful of the angry conversations centering around these disturbed personalities. It is the energy they are feeding on and that keeps them dictating the narrative of the day.

Smokescreens are thrown at us while the forest is burning. Narcissists are experts at tapping into the undercurrent of anger and drama that in most cases has its roots in bad personal choices or family history.  It is painful and a long process of self-introspection to accept responsibility for one’s own actions that have directly been responsible for a predicament.  But it is the precondition to the start of the healing process that needs to take place both individually and on a global level.

Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant

https://www.reinogevers.com

                                             applepodcast         

 

Leave a comment

Filed under ideology, lifestyle management, psychology, self-development, trump presidency, Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , ,