Human relationships are extraordinarily complex and wrought with conflict as we soon realize when we are forced to spend time with people we would never have chosen as friends.
What emotions do you trigger in people?
There are people whose company we enjoy and there are people that make us feel uncomfortable as soon as they enter the room. Mostly it is about what emotions they trigger within us. Sometimes our mere presence might trigger the demons within another person.
Photo by Christian Seeling on Unsplash
Our narcissistic culture is encouraging the right to vent and rant. Its why we are seeing so much online bullying that is causing great suffering and pain, especially among teenagers.
Putting the need to vent above the relationship
When one person in a relationship puts the need to vent over the impact this has on the long-term relationship, the consequences are inevitable. A petty difficulty becomes a problem and the downward spiral begins.
The art is to learn mastery over negative thoughts and emotions, and to be giving, kind and living a meaningful, purposeful life.
Awareness is the first step
The root cause of an angry outburst often has its origins in an old pain that has not been transmuted. Leaving the “blame-game” and entering the process of self-reflection sadly mostly only begins after divorce, separation and other trauma.
Becoming aware of what emotion surfaces in any situation is always the first step to self-awareness. What makes me so sad, and so angry? What am I really angry about? Is it about the spilled milk or does that emotion go deeper? It is helpful in such a situation to focus on breathing. Inhale and exhale a few times before you respond to that hurtful email message.
Tapping is another good method of not losing self-love and respect despite being in a cycle of negative emotions. For me, “Deep Walking” in nature is one of the best ways of shedding those negative shackles that lie embedded in the subconscious.
Negative people are masters at manipulation!
Negative people are powerful manipulators. They feed on the drama they trigger and the attention from being the talk of the day.
In being human, we all have bad moments whether we are rich, famous, poor, beautiful or just ordinary. The difference between the happy, successful people and those that are in a permanent cycle of negativity is the ability to transmute every experience and to move on in the understanding that life is cyclical.
Reino Gevers – Author, Mentor, and Consultant
(Read more on this topic in my new book “Deep Walking for Body Mind and Soul” Ebook scheduled for publication by Morgan James in New York on May 5th, 2020. Printed edition scheduled for the major outlets in August 2020)
https://www.reinogevers.com
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