Tag Archives: self-care

Transforming Pain: Cultivating True Gratitude

You may find yourself in the midst of one of life’s more challenging chapters marked by grief, uncertainty, or loss. Then, as if on cue, a well-meaning friend offers the familiar advice: “Just be grateful.” In that moment, you might feel an angry urge to say: “You don’t understand.” And the weight grows heavier when you begin comparing your life to those who seem happier, wealthier, healthier, or younger, as if their brightness somehow dims your own.

But here’s the deeper truth: you cannot silence authentic emotions such as sadness, despair, or fear by layering them with forced gratitude. Emotional honesty is not weakness; it’s the foundation of healing. Gratitude only becomes meaningful when it arises from a place of full acceptance and when you allow yourself to feel everything that is part of you without self-judgment.

“I am feeling sad. I am disappointed. I am angry. And still, there are things I can be grateful for.”

This is where healing begins. When you make a habit of connecting the dots between past experiences and present growth, you start to see a deeper pattern.

There comes that quiet reassurance that the universe has always had your back. Even the darkest moments often conceal unexpected blessings, pushing you to tap into inner reserves of strength and begin anew.

I’ve lived through many moments of profound despair, and I suspect you have too. Relationship breakdowns, the untimely loss of loved ones, financial setbacks, and health scares. Yet in hindsight, these painful milestones have often marked the beginning of something transformative.

Technologically, humanity has made extraordinary progress in recent decades. But this advancement has come at a steep personal and environmental cost. Our lives today are faster, more connected, and paradoxically more stressed. We have more time than any generation before us, and yet time has become our most precious, elusive commodity.

This revolution forces us to confront an ancient question:

What truly makes you content and fulfilled?

The thrill of a shiny new object fades quickly. What endures is meaning and purpose.

Every extreme carries within it the seed of renewal. The technological age has amplified our left-brain — analytical, data-driven, “spreadsheet” thinking — while the right-brain, our intuitive, creative, and spiritual side, remains undernourished. Yet it is this neglected dimension that holds the key to balance.

We are not just rational beings. We are playful, imaginative, soulful creatures. Reclaiming that part of the self — and integrating both hemispheres of the mind — is the challenge of our time. Just because you are going through a dark chapter, doesn’t mean you cannot have a beautiful life. Peace comes from going all in on accepting yourself and building on the habits and tools that elevate healing and growth.

How can I do a reset?

Begin with small, intentional rituals that reconnect you to gratitude — not as a forced emotion, but as a recognition and acceptance of life’s complexity and beauty. Here are three daily practices to help you cultivate authentic gratitude:

Morning Reflection

Before reaching for your phone, take three minutes to sit quietly and ask: What is one thing I’m grateful for today — even if it’s small? It could be the warmth of a comfortable bed, the sound of birds, or simply waking up and still being alive, perhaps thanking God, or the universe for a new day.

Gratitude Journal

Each evening, write down three things that brought you comfort, joy, or insight — even if the day was difficult. Over time, this builds a reservoir of perspective and emotional resilience.

Sharing Gratitude

Make it a daily practice to express appreciation — whether through a heartfelt compliment, a sincere thank-you, or a simple kind word. When you share in someone else’s joy or gratitude, you amplify it. Gratitude shared is gratitude multiplied, and it deepens the bonds that connect us.

These rituals aren’t about denying pain or pretending everything is fine. They’re about honouring the full spectrum of your experience while gently creating space for light to return. Gratitude, when rooted in truth, becomes a quiet but potent force for healing, resilience, and renewal.

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.”
— Meister Eckhart

This simple yet profound reminder by the great 13th-century Mystic invites you to see gratitude as a way of being and a sacred thread that weaves through joy and sorrow alike, anchoring you in the beauty of presence and opening to grace.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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Filed under gratitude, happiness, spirituality, Thanksgiving

From Burnout into Becoming who you really are

Have you ever felt like you’re just running on empty, and feeling emotionally exhausted that comes from carrying too much, too often, and for too long? You’re not alone.

At some point, most of us find ourselves stuck in the burnout spiral by juggling responsibilities, absorbing too much information on social media, and feeling the quiet weight of stress pressing in from every side. It’s easy to lose your sense of calm, purpose, and energy when overwhelm takes hold.

You might feel disconnected from what is ultimately your journey into becoming who you really are.

But here’s the truth: You don’t need a dramatic life reset to feel better.
Small, intentional steps can help you rebuild your energy and resilience. Doable practices that can help you restore your strength from the inside out.

Acknowledge the Overwhelm

“Let’s start with honesty: Are you constantly running on empty?” The difference between normal stress vs. chronic overwhelm. Common sources: caregiving, decision fatigue, emotional burnout, information overload.

The Science

The body has a natural defence mechanism when under duress. The hormone cortisol puts you into fight, flight or freeze mode. Your breathing becomes fast and shallow as all your senses go into survival mode. Your cognitive functions, the ability to find creative solutions is impaired. At the same time all your vital body organs do not get the nutrients they need, steadily breaking down your immune system. We are simply not designed to cope with permanent stress over long periods of time.

Common misconceptions on building resilience

A common misconception about building resilience is to “toughen it out.” But it’s not about swimming against the tide and bouncing back as before. It’s more about integrating the experience and adapting accordingly.

Micro-Shifts That Build Strength

Simple routines and mind habits can restore control. Your intuition will tell you that you are not aligned if what you are doing is inevitably causing fatigue and exhaustion. Learning to say „no“ and setting healthy boundaries to people who deplete your energy takes practice. Pause for a moment and breathe before reacting. In this way you are building space between stimulus and response.

The Role of Faith and Belief

Integrating faith can be pivotal in providing an anchor of guidance during stormy times. It could be a morning meditation or prayer that aligns you with your authentic self. Several studies have confirmed that taking a walk in the green and blue spaces of nature and opening the senses to the sights, sounds, and smells of nature reduces the stress hormones in your body significantly.

Building a Resilience Toolbox

Stress is not necessarily harmful. It can help you focus on the task at hand. But too much of it is harmful. The key is finding a good sprint and recovery system. Practices such as breathwork, walks in nature, digital breaks, gratitude reflection and nurturing positive relationships are just some examples. What and who grounds you? Mental reframing: “Is this pressure pointing to a shift I need? What is life throwing at me from which I can learn?“ You can ask for help without guilt. Learn to sit with discomfort without shutting down.

What’s one small choice you can make this week to calm the overwhelm? It could be a simple question such as: “When I feel overwhelmed, I want to remember…”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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Filed under exercise mental health, stress, stress hormones, Uncategorized

Finding truth and beauty within

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty – that is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know.”

– John Keats –

In his mysterious poem “Ode on a Grecian Urn” the 19th-century poet John Keats reflects on the contradiction between mortality and eternity, equating truth with beauty, portraying how the external perception of beauty is closely linked to the beauty within.

How we perceive our external world is shaped by momentary feelings and thoughts. It is a difficult endeavor for the modern mind suffering from information overload.

The mind is pulled from one distraction to the next. And, if your attention is focused on a grievance or hurt going back weeks, months or years, you will not appreciate the beauty around you. You will miss the way markers sent by the universe and lose your way.

Empty yourself of everything

The Chinese philosopher Lao Tze one said: “The usefulness of a pot comes from its emptiness,” meaning we have to empty our mind of everything and become still. If we are preoccupied with thoughts of the past or the future we miss out on the present moment of real human experience. Thoughts of the past are colored by imagination and have only partial relevance to truth.

Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels.com

According to Lao Tze we cannot force the boat to go upstream. Everything happens in its own time and place. We cannot control external events or a calamities, but we can control how we respond to them. His teaching emphasized “effortless action” and the acceptance of the “wu wei” which ultimately seeks harmony.

Living according to the Dao means living without attachment. Life itself is the objective and the motivation. Behind a seemingly chaotic exterior lies a natural order of things. Nature has its seasons and cycles. We need to accept the impermanence of all things. There is always change, growth, death, and rebirth.

But as we are all imperfect beings on a path of learning, keeping the mind still can be a lofty undertaking. Toxic emotions such as anger are easily triggered by anything from a news broadcast of an event thousands of kilometers away or finding yourself having to wait in line at a supermarket.

Alignment through stillness

When we are aligned we get into touch with ourselves and our feelings. The first step is acceptance of the momentary feeling be it sadness, anger or anxiousness. The next step is replacing that thought or feeling with a positive experience or an expression of gratitude.

One of the simplest methods of alignment is the act of mindful breathing and mindful deep walking. Inhale to the count of four and exhale to the count of five. Inhale and on exhaling hum one of the most powerful mantras: “Om Mani Padme Hung”. When you practice such meditation methods regularly you will gradually sense a greater calmness and alignment of body and mind.

More than ever during these times we need to practice self-care and self-love. By becoming aware of the divine spark within we become aware of the beauty that is embedded within all things such as in the vibrant images that the poet John Keats saw in the simple contemplation of an ancient Greek urn. It is what inspired the great Dutch painters in the contemplation of everyday objects that led to the creation of some of the world’s greatest works of art.

By learning to BE in the present we learn to simply see things as they are without attaching to them comparisons with the past and giving them a definitive label.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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Filed under mental health, mental-health, Uncategorized