Author Archives: Reino Gevers

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About Reino Gevers

Author, mentor and trainer
by | February 9, 2025 · 11:31 am

Stupidity and Evil: Bonhoeffer’s Insights

“Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice, because malice can be exposed and prevented by the use of force, but against stupidity we are defenseless.”- Dietrich Bonhoeffer –

The German theologian and dissident Dietrich Bonhoeffer is renowned for his unwavering faith, ethical convictions, and reflections on what it means to be a Christian in times of crisis. Sentenced to death in a sham trial by the Nazis, his philosophy on stupidity and evil remains strikingly relevant today, amid the resurgence of rightwing extremism.

In the weeks leading up to his execution, Bonhoeffer deeply reflected. He considered how ordinary, decent people abandoned independent thought and passively accepted horrific evil.

Bonhoeffer was arrested by the Nazis in April 1943 and held in a Berlin prison until his execution in April 1945 only weeks before the end of World War II. During his time in prison he outlined in his Letters and Prayers from Prison, a compelling view on the moral failings of a society leading up to authoritarian rule.

It is a stark warning to developments in today’s world marked by misinformation and the erosion of democratic norms and values in Western democracies.

Stupidity is more dangerous than evil?

He argued that stupidity was even more dangerous than evil because people were blind to reason and resistant to correction. Unlike an evil person, the stupid person is unaware of his own ignorance and can easily be manipulated by dark forces. A stupid person or a person stuck in an ego personality will also never admit that they made a mistake.

The theologian observed that individuals become even more foolish when becoming part of “group-think”, especially under authoritarian regimes. When individuals surrender independent thought to a group they become incapable of critical self-reflection, making them susceptible to propaganda.

People become particularly susceptible to stupidity and evil if they surrender their moral and intellectual independence to an external authority.

To resist this, according to Bonhoeffer individuals must be liberated through self-reflection and self-work:

  • Develop a strong ethical foundation based on conscience rather than blind obedience. He warned that authoritarian regimes manipulate people by dulling their moral senses. Behavior that would never have been tolerated under normal circumstances becomes the norm.
  • As a Christian theologian, Bonhoeffer emphasized that faith in God should lead to courage and resistance against injustice. True discipleship means refusing to be complicit with evil.
  • In oppressive systems people stop thinking for themselves. Encouraging education, open dialogue, and debate can counteract this.

Developing internal and external freedom

Bonhoeffer also recognized that internal liberation needed to be aligned at the same time with external freedom. He advocated for:

  • A just society required strong institutions that upheld justice and human dignity.
  • Bonhoeffer himself took direct action against the Nazi regime, arguing that when a state becomes oppressive, Christians and moral individuals must resist, even at great personal cost.
  • Oppressive systems isolate individuals to maintain control. Bonhoeffer emphasized the importance of ethical communities that support and empower individuals to act against injustice.

Bonhoeffer deeply believed in the interconnection between internal and external freedom. A society that values fundamental democratic freedoms will create conditions where moral and intellectual independence thrive.

People who are empowered by taking personal responsibility will challenge unjust systems rather than surrender to conformity. It is a powerful argument for the role of ethics, faith, and personal responsibility in protecting democracy.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

You can watch the podcast interview with Katharine Giovanni here and also on the Youtube channel Living to BE

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by | January 28, 2025 · 6:26 am

When power is worshipped and mercy is a “sin”

You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion.

– Meister Eckart 13-th century Mystic –

A society has lost its moral compass when the powerful are worshiped and calls for “mercy” and “compassion” provoke anger, hate and death threats.

Yet, showing mercy and compassion toward the weakest in society are fundamental to Jewish and Christian teachings.

Jesus’ words in the Sermon of the Mount: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy,” (Matthew 5:7) is a call on the faithful to demonstrate a higher standard of moral and spiritual practice.

Layered words of meaning

Mercy is not just about forgiving others but also about showing compassion and kindness to those in need. Jesus spoke the ancient language of Aramaic and the original text reads: “Tubwehun lamrachmane dalehun nechwun rachme.”

They evoke a nurturing, active compassion rooted in the divine nature of God and mirrored in human relationships. By living mercifully, individuals not only transform their communities but also open themselves to God’s mercy and love, embodying the heart of Jesus’ teachings.

The words “lamrachmane” and “rachme” are richly layered in meaning:

  • Mercy is reciprocal: when you show rachme to others, you align yourself with God’s nature, and His rachme flows back to you.
  • Mercy is not merely about forgiveness but encompasses a way of being that prioritizes compassion and care for the vulnerable.
  • Being merciful is a daily commitment to help those in need—feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, or welcoming the stranger.

How we treat others mirrors who we are

It offers guidance to all human interactions. Believers are called upon to actively embody God’s mercy by being patient, forgiving, and generous in all their relationships.

Mercy is also central to teachings in the Jewish tradition of the Old Testament, particularly in the Psalms and Prophets.

Micah 6:8: “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

“Psalm 103:8: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”

The absence of God and the manifestation of evil can generally be understood as the absence of goodness, moral corruption, or harm done to others. Sin is separation from God, leading to spiritual darkness, alienation, and suffering.

When individuals, a society or groups of individuals turn away from God’s moral law, they lose the moral compass that aligns with goodness. It leads to selfishness, violence, and neglect of others.

A society where the all-powerful define “truth and values”, there is inevitably moral and ethical decay. A survival of the fittest philosophy does something to the moral fabric of society as a whole.

Whether from a religious or philosophical perspective the presence of evil is a call to reflect on one’s own fundamental values and ethics, by resisting harm to others, promoting justice, and cultivating love, kindness and compassion.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | January 21, 2025 · 10:08 am

Spiritual Resilience and Life’s Challenges

Throughout my life, I have grappled with the tension between religion and spirituality. Organized belief systems can so easily devolve into intolerance, hypocrisy, and hatred of those who look, think, or act differently. Ideology in all its forms fractures societies, breeding division and animosity.

Yet, creation thrives in diversity. God’s garden is a vibrant spectrum of colors and forms, each plant and flower enhancing the other in a harmonious beauty that can only be fully appreciated when seen in its entirety.

At its best, religion provides meaning and purpose to life. It offers solace and sanctuary during life’s most challenging moments—times of grief, loss, despair, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

Religion at its best and at its worst

Religion can unify communities, fostering a spirit of collective goodwill that transcends individual needs. Throughout history, faith-based inspiration has unleashed humanity’s most profound creativity in art, music, philosophy, and architecture. The masterpieces of Michelangelo, the compositions of Bach and Beethoven, and the enduring grandeur of centuries-old cathedrals and temples stand as testaments to the power of faith to inspire and elevate. At their core, all major religions share a universal message of love, compassion, kindness, and peace.

Yet, at its worst, religion has been wielded as a tool for manipulation and abuse. It has perpetuated discrimination, financial exploitation, fraud, and instilled fear and shame in innocent victims, leaving lifelong scars.

Over centuries, countless lives have been lost in wars waged over dogma, with individuals persecuted or executed for deviating from “the true gospel.” Such hypocrisy has driven millions to turn away from institutionalized and denominational religion, creating a vacuum often filled by a trash culture of alternate ideologies, political extremism, or addictions to external gratification. The consequences of this disconnection are evident in the growing epidemic of depression and spiritual emptiness.

How spirituality creates resilience against life’s challenges

Recent research highlights a significant link between spiritual belief and resilience to depression. Those who believe in a higher power are often better equipped to navigate life’s challenges, finding balance and purpose more easily than those disconnected from spiritual practice.

Experiential spirituality, unlike externally imposed beliefs, emerges as a deeply personal “knowing.” As Carl Gustav Jung famously stated when asked if he believed in God: “I don’t believe. I know.” This kind of spirituality arises intuitively, often in moments of awe—walking in nature, contemplating a masterpiece, listening to music, or engaging in creative flow.

This prompts profound questions: Is religion merely a pathway to spirituality, or is it an end in itself? Are we transitioning into a post-religious era? How can we bridge the divide between organized religion and personal spirituality to cultivate deeper, more authentic connections with the divine?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | January 14, 2025 · 9:21 am

Sages, Saints, and Sinners: When things fall apart

History is often said to follow a cyclical pattern, where humanity repeatedly faces cathartic trials to achieve breakthroughs in collective consciousness.

Over the past four years, I have delved deeply into comparing the COVID-19 crisis with another pivotal catastrophe in human history—the Black Death of the 14th century.

Reflecting on the pandemic’s impact, it feels almost surreal how profoundly it has reshaped our lives. The lingering effects of collective fear, anxiety, and uncertainty continue to ripple through societies, fueling political extremism and even the collapse of governments in several countries. And this, it seems, is only the beginning.

This journey of reflection and exploration has culminated in an exciting milestone: my upcoming book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners is set to release on April 8th. The novel delves into the historical echoes, human resilience, and moral questions that crises like these bring to the forefront. It will be available on all major platforms where great books are sold.

This project has been a labor of love, spanning four years of research and writing. During the lockdown, I felt compelled to explore irrational and sometimes inexplicable human behavior.

Scapegoating during times of crisis

In the 14th-century, those deemed responsible for the Black Death were quickly identified. The clergy framed the pandemic as divine punishment for “sinful living,” while a pernicious rumor accused Jewish communities of poisoning water wells. This led to horrific acts of violence, with thousands of Jews killed in baseless retribution. So-called witches, often midwives and healers, were burned at the stake.

When it became clear that even devout clergy were not spared by the plague, the church lost much of its credibility. In the same way the often haphazard way governments implemented the lockdowns during Covid has led to extreme distrust in all institutions.

If this seems primitive, consider how misinformation flourished during the COVID-19 pandemic, spreading even faster than reliable facts. One widely circulated claim was that the virus had been engineered in a lab as a bioweapon. Another conspiracy theory blamed 5G mobile networks for the pandemic. Despite overwhelming evidence of their effectiveness, some argued masks were either useless or harmful. Others falsely believed that exposure to sunlight or high temperatures could prevent infection.

Misinformation and rumor hampering efforts to address a crisis

Similarly, medieval misconceptions about disease transmission fueled dangerous behaviors. Many believed the plague spread through foul air, leading to bizarre practices such as drinking urine or wallowing in filth to ward off illness. The correct assumption that the pandemic was spread by rodents was widely ignored. Observant authorities were finding that in clean areas infections were relatively low while they were highest in suburbs with a high rat population.

Across both eras, misinformation magnified fear and hampered efforts to address the crisis effectively.

Spiritual conflict and the weight of fate

In the novel, I have weaved the story around the two main characters Geronimo and Isabel whose bond is tested by spiritual conflict, the weight of fate, and the unforgiving realities of a world in turmoil.

When Geronimo is enslaved and Isabel, heartbroken, seeks refuge in a convent, their tragic journey unfolds, echoing the timeless struggles of myth and history.

I dare to say that the next few years are likely to be marked by an external world marked by geopolitical shifts, fake realities, and disruptive chaos.

It need however, not fill you with fear or anxiety. One principle of creation that we learn from Daoist philosophy is that a state of equilibrium and new beginnings is often preceded by a whirlwind of destruction and chaos.

With the universe forming the ultimate equilibrium, surface events often appear chaotic, but are inherently connected to a universal order. In Daoism, nature is often used as an analogy. A fire might raze a landscape, or a storm uproot trees. An entire landscape can be reshaped but space is also cleared for new growth and fresh beginnings.

In times of profound change, the wisest approach is not to resist but to adapt. The key lies in releasing rigid expectations and surrendering to the process of transformation with resilience and grace. By embracing simplicity and practicing non-attachment to specific outcomes, we can navigate transitions with greater ease and clarity.

While external forces such as geopolitical upheavals, natural disasters, and pandemics are beyond your control, the response to them is entirely within your power.

By focusing on what you can influence in your mindset and actions, you can empower yourself by transforming challenges into opportunities for growth and discovering strength in the midst of uncertainty.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | January 7, 2025 · 12:38 pm

Emotions and Health: The Hidden Connection

As you embrace the New Year with fresh intentions and resolutions, it’s crucial to recognize the emotional stressors that deeply impact your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

The medieval Sephardic Jewish philosopher Maimonides emphasized a holistic approach to health, integrating the physical, spiritual, and emotional dimensions of well-being. He notably highlighted chronic anger as one of the most harmful emotions.

Modern science echoes these teachings, revealing a growing body of evidence that underscores the importance of managing emotions and fostering mental health for overall physical well-being.

The Harmful Effects of Emotional Stress

Emotional stress profoundly affects physical health, serving as a root cause of numerous conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and certain cancers. Chronic stress also lowers your energetic vibration, pulling your mindset toward negativity, where you’re more likely to perceive—and attract—negative outcomes.

A study at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh has revealed perhaps the strongest evidence so far on the link between stress and the body’s capacity to deal with inflammation.

In moments of intense anger, pain, or fear, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for creative thinking and problem-solving—essentially shuts down, leaving you reactive and unfocused.

Short-term stress can be beneficial, such as helping you react quickly to avoid a car accident. However, chronic stress floods the body with hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which overburden vital organs such as the heart, kidneys, and liver. Prolonged stress also disrupts digestion and contributes to inflammatory diseases.

The Impact of Social Media and Negative Narratives

Modern stressors include the pervasive influence of social media. A poll of 14-to-24-year-olds revealed that platforms like Instagram and Snapchat amplify feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, often fueled by negative comments on appearance and self-image. Research from the University of Pennsylvania even found a strong correlation between negative language on Twitter and heart disease mortality.

Harnessing the Power of Choice

The encouraging news is that you have the power to choose your emotional and mental state. Positive emotions such as gratitude and happiness enhance immune function and promote longevity. Practices like laughter and optimism stimulate the production of natural killer cells that fight infection, while a positive outlook fosters healthier lifestyle habits.

Practical Steps Toward Resilience

To build resilience and effectively handle life’s challenges, consider these practices:

  • Nutrition and Exercise: Adopt a diet rich in high-nutritional-value foods and maintain regular physical activity.
  • Nature and Surroundings: Spend time in attractive, natural environments to rejuvenate your spirit.
  • Spiritual Practice: Incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine.
  • Emotional Shifting: Begin by accepting your current emotional state—be it anger, sadness, or fear. Fighting these emotions only reinforces them. Instead, focus on your breath: inhale and exhale deeply through your nose while counting to ten. This mindfulness can help you emotionally shift, replacing fear with trust, sadness with a joyful memory, or anger with calmness.

Guarding the Doorway of Your Mind

In today’s world, where grievance culture and negativity often dominate the narrative, it’s more important than ever to protect your mental state. Surround yourself with positive-minded people, and cultivate gratitude through daily rituals. For example, reflect on the best moment of the past 24 hours—it’s there, waiting to be appreciated.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 26, 2024 · 3:30 pm

Walking the Camino: Lessons in Life and Faith

Walking the Camino is a spiritual journey that mirrors the journey of life, unfolding in three profound stages: a beginning, a middle, and an end. Kierkegaard describes these three stages of life as the aesthetic, the ethical, and the religious.

The first stage—the crucifixion—represents the struggle and hardship of making mistakes, forcing the boat upstream, and losing your way on the wrong path. During the first stage in life we face trial and error, effort often feels futile. You sometimes engage in aimless wandering and deviations. You may easily lose your way with countless distractions in the monkey mind.

The middle stage, symbolized by the Valley of Death or the Meseta, is a surrender of the ego to a higher purpose and deeper meaning. Here, the ego must die for the soul to awaken to its inner truth, allowing for transformation and clarity.

According to Kierkegaard the appeal during this “ethical stage” lies in walking the path with confidence, even though it may be monotonous and exhausting at times.

The final stage—the resurrection—is a state of flow, where you align with the current of life and begin to see that every experience, even the challenges, has been an expression of divine grace, sculpting you into the BEING you were always meant to become.

You feel the ecstasy in the dance of life. Your walk is a gentle surfing of the path without a sense of gravity. There is an unspoken faith in the journey that drives you forward, and quickens your pace.

Reaching the Cathedral of Santiago is a celebration of joy and homecoming, marking the soul’s return to its true essence. Ultimately, the Camino is a journey of the soul, finding its way back home.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 16, 2024 · 5:53 pm

Minds captured by Fanaticism

A right-wing media ecosystem fueled by resentment and anger is capturing millions of minds with a steady stream of alternate realities, stoking division, and delivering a daily narrative designed to reinforce grievance and distrust.

Social media is becoming an even more integral part of daily life, particularly for younger generations, as highlighted by Pew Research. While extremist platforms like Rumble remain smaller than giants like YouTube, they still attract millions of followers, spreading a wide array of conspiracy theories and disinformation.

Driven by a core message of fear and anxiety, these “hate entrepreneurs” pin blame for personal and collective challenges on a shifting cast of internal and external enemies, further exacerbating divisions.

Doom prophecies have long been a typical playbook of cults and populist political leaders.

It appears that once a person has invested huge time and energy resources in a particular belief, it becomes part of their identity. Even the best argument or scientific study will not dissuade the person from adopting a different perspective. They become locked in a particular mindset. Different perspectives or beliefs are radically rejected and some even turn to violent behavior to defend their mindset.

During medieval times when the black plague decimated much of the European population, rumor and superstition spread just as fast. A rumor that the Jews were responsible for the plague by poisoning water wells led to a mass pogrom in the French city of Strasbourg. About 2,000 Jews were burned alive on a platform constructed in a Jewish cemetery on Valentine’s Day in 1349.

Leon Festinger, a social psychologist, made groundbreaking contributions in the 1950s to understanding belief systems. He based much of his findings on studying a cult led by Dorothy Martin (alias Marian Keech), who claimed to receive messages from extraterrestrial beings about a catastrophic flood that would destroy the Earth on a specific date.

In some of his key findings he found that members of the cult were so committed to their belief that they abandoned jobs, loved ones and possessions in preparation for the flood. When the prophecy failed, instead of abandoning their belief, the cult members rationalized the failure by claiming that their prayers had “saved the world.”


Festinger found that cognitive dissonance was highest among those who had made the most significant personal sacrifices for the cult, doubling down on their belief and reinforcing their fanaticism.

In a digital world it becomes far easier for cults and extremist groups to maintain cohesion by withdrawing into information silos that cement beliefs such as:

  • Climate change denial
  • Vaccines are a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical industry
  • The “chemtrails” conspiracy theory posits that the condensation trails left by aircraft—are chemicals intentionally sprayed into the atmosphere for nefarious purposes. The rumor has persisted since the early 1990s despite the lack of clear scientific evidence.

Fixed belief and fanaticism ultimately creates a toxic emotional state, blending fear, anxiety, and anger. It fosters dehumanization, deepens political polarization, and fractures social cohesion.

On a personal level, it becomes a significant barrier to self-growth and spiritual evolution. In a rapidly changing world, adapting is essential for survival. Clinging to rigid beliefs not only limits personal transformation but also blinds you to the new opportunities and possibilities the universe continually offers.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 9, 2024 · 9:11 am

When Faith Turns Toxic: The Spiritual Journey

The rebirth of Paris’s Notre-Dame Cathedral, five years after a devastating fire, serves as a striking beacon of hope during a time marked by division, uncertainty, and fear. It is a powerful testament to what humanity can achieve when united in a shared purpose.

Europe’s great cathedrals, such as Chartres and Notre-Dame, were more than architectural marvels. They were profound expressions of faith, creativity, and communal spirit. These towering structures, built to reflect heavenly glory, continue to inspire awe and remind us of the enduring power of collective endeavor.

What unites people around a common purpose fosters trust and transcends individual interests. For millennia, religious rituals and practices have served this unifying function, binding communities to shared values, goals, and principles. Religion has also provided a framework for understanding suffering and adversity, offering solace and resilience in times of need.

Religion and the sense of belonging

As inherently social beings, humans find strength in connection. Participating in religious ceremonies has historically reinforced a sense of belonging and strengthened the social fabric of communities. Modern studies affirm this, linking faith and religious involvement to lower levels of depression and anxiety, underscoring the vital role of shared spirituality in nurturing mental and emotional well-being.

Hill and Pargament (2003) concluded that spirituality fosters resilience by enhancing hope and optimism, even in highly stressful situations.

But paradoxically the affiliation to a specific religion, community or faith often strengthens the divide between “them and us”. Religion can bring out the best and the worst in humanity. Friendships, humanity and service may be restricted to the “in group” while those outside the group were often villified and dehumanized.

In my recent podcast on LivingtoBE, I discussed with psychologist Katie Turner, on when spirituality or religion becomes toxic and in some cases cause long-lasting trauma.

  • When clergy, therapists or spiritual teachers have not done the the self-work by transmuting their own shadows they will project these on their followers.
  • Some religious beliefs discourage seeking professional help, claiming that prayer or faith alone should suffice.
  • Religion is then abused as a tool of manipulation, coercion, control and exclusion. Overemphasis on sin, punishment, or unachievable standards of moral purity can lead to chronic guilt and shame.
  • Toxic religion often revolves around charismatic leaders who demand absolute loyalty and discourage critical thinking or questioning.

When members of a religious community feel compelled to suppress their individuality, religion can even alienate them from their authentic spiritual path and soul purpose.

Religious platitudes may hinder personal growth and self-discovery, with fixed beliefs locking individuals into a singular worldview obstructing the evolution of spiritual awareness and consciousness.

What Can Help?

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear limits on how much influence religion exerts over your life and well-being.
  • Seek Broader Perspectives: Explore spiritual practices and belief systems that prioritize love, tolerance, acceptance, and personal growth.
  • Consider Professional Support: Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space for healing from spiritual abuse or the effects of toxic religious experiences.

At its best, religion offers sanctuary, love, and compassion during times of need. At its worst, it can inflict profound physical and emotional harm. Cultivating a grounded connection to your own intuitive senses and spiritual needs will help you discern and navigate the difference, empowering you to recognize and avoid toxic expressions of faith.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 4, 2024 · 10:29 am

Home: Reflections on Place and Belonging

The landscape that you inhabit shapes you in profound ways, prompting the question: Where is home, and what environment truly nurtures your joy, energy, and zest for life?

Recently, I returned to South Africa, revisiting the places that defined my childhood. The journey was deeply reflective, stirring memories and a realization: home is no longer where it once was.

While timeless landmarks like the mountains and rivers of the Drakensberg endure, everything shaped by human hands changes—and often, tragically, deteriorates.

In rural South Africa, essential infrastructure like roads, sanitation, water, and electricity has largely collapsed or is on the brink of failure. Political corruption has turned state institutions into feeding troughs for party loyalists, leaving what was once the pride of Africa’s railways and roads in disrepair.

The place of home can shift

Circumstances led me to leave my birthplace at a young age. For years, I lived and worked in Germany—a land tied to my ancestral roots but one I could never truly call home. The long, cold, and wet winters left me battling colds and flu for weeks, an unmistakable signal that my well-being needed a different environment.

At times I was terribly homesick, longing for the blue skies, expansive landscapes, sounds and smells of my African homeland. It is easy to fall into the trap of melancholy sadness of what once was and is no more, the past becoming an idealized and distorted image.

Finding the place in the sun

Seven years ago, I found my place under the sun in Mallorca, Spain. It wasn’t until then that I fully understood how deeply geography, culture, and community impacts not just physical health but mental vibrancy and energy.

Sometimes, choosing to live someplace else does change everything for the better, notwithstanding that you always take yourself with you. Home is ultimately within. Home is what creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

Feeling at home sometimes shifts as you grow, adapt, and explore the world. At times, it’s where you were born or raised, rooted in childhood memories and traditions. At other times, it’s where you feel most alive, inspired, and at peace—a place or state of mind that aligns with your values, dreams, and well-being.

Recently the most renowned South African writer and poet Breyten Breytenbach passed away in his home in Paris. In his prose, Breytenbach frequently explored how the home one remembers rarely aligns with the home one finds upon return. The landscapes may remain familiar, but the social, political, and personal contexts often shift dramatically.

Returning home can evoke a profound sense of loss—of the self that once belonged fully to that place and the home that no longer exists as it was. Returning to childhood landscapes can be a complex, bittersweet experience, marked by both longing and alienation.

In a poignant in his book “Return to Paradise”, Breytenbach reflects:

We carry our homes within us,
shaped by the stories of our scars.
The land may hold its silence,
but the roads remember our footsteps.

Where is the place where you can truly breathe and thrive?

What does home mean to you?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | November 27, 2024 · 2:50 pm

Understanding Loneliness vs. Solitude

Loneliness and solitude are often confused, but they are fundamentally different. Loneliness is not merely the absence of human relationships. It reflects a deeper sense of inner emptiness, signifying a lack of meaning and a disconnect from purpose.

Loneliness is a place of pain where the void often manifests in addictions, especially to external distractions that ultimately create more suffering.

Solitude is an intentional choice

Solitude, on the other hand, is the intentional choice to spend time alone. It is a self-created space for recalibration and mental detox.

In solitude, the mind is given the opportunity to quiet itself, creating a fertile ground for personal growth, self-discovery, and creativity.

While loneliness drains, solitude replenishes.

Meditation, yoga, tai chi, and deep walking in nature are only some of the useful tools in training the monkey mind to be really present and appreciative of the magic of the moment.

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But what if the pain is so deep that every moment alone is a place of torture?

Anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a loved one, the trauma of a break-up or divorce, financial disaster, the loss of a job or a life-threatening diagnosis will know that during such moments you need more than ever stable relationships and community to help navigate the crisis. Sometimes it is just important for another being to be present, holding a hand in silent compassion.

Human connection is fundamental

Human connection is fundamental to your well-being. It’s easier to transform pain when you feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by others. Yet, modern society’s focus on individualism—liberty, personal expression, and the pursuit of a singular life purpose—has often come at the expense of community.

 A study on “Social Relationships and Health” by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton (published in PLoS Medicine, 2010) revealed that that loneliness and social isolation significantly increase the risk of poor mental health and mortality. On the other hand the effects of social connections on health were found to be comparable to or greater than well-known risk factors such as smoking cessation, physical activity, and obesity management.

As social beings, we thrive in connection and falter in isolation, both mentally and physically. Yet, we find ourselves increasingly divided into opposing camps of “us” versus “them.” Strong religious and political ideologies—sometimes addictive in their nature—further deepen these divides, often fueled by external influences with hidden agendas. The rise of religious orthodoxy and political extremism underscores this growing fragmentation, creating artificial “tribal” communities that exclude rather than include.

The innate universal human quality for compassion, is frequently sacrificed on the altar of rigid beliefs and superficial differences. They are amplified by external forces, clouding the ability to see a shared humanity.

Yet there is a path back to serving both the true self and community – solitude. Taking even a few minutes each day to disconnect from the noise can ground you, fostering self-compassion, and reignite your capacity for love.

When you cultivate self-love, you naturally extend that same compassion and energy outward, treating others with greater understanding and kindness.

True connection begins within. By rediscovering our compassionate nature, we can bridge the divides and reclaim the value of community.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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