Category Archives: mental health

by | March 9, 2026 · 5:45 am

Understanding Forgiveness and Why it Matters

The Christian concept of forgiveness, especially the teaching of Jesus to “love your enemy as yourself”, is often deeply misunderstood. For many people, the idea sounds almost impossible. Is it truly possible to forgive someone who has committed a grave injustice against you? What about perpetrators of horrific crimes such as abuse or violence?

These questions strike at the heart of one of the most difficult teachings in the spiritual tradition.

The art of forgiveness, practiced in its deepest sense, may be one of the hardest challenges. Yet there is a profound truth behind it: holding onto resentment, anger, or hatred toward someone who has harmed you can gradually bind you to the very negativity you are trying to resist. When your thoughts become consumed by the wrong committed against you, you are running the real risk of becoming emotionally entangled with the same destructive energy.

Forgiveness is not primarily about the other person. It is about the soul’s inner liberation and what Jesus really meant in his Sermon of the Mount.

What Jesus Actually Meant

When Jesus spoke about loving one’s enemies, he was not advocating passive submission to injustice or asking victims to excuse evil. His teachings were aimed at something deeper: the transformation of the human heart.

Jesus challenges humanity to step out of the cycle of retaliation and hatred that defines so many conflicts. Violence and revenge create an endless chain reaction in which each generation inherits the anger of the previous one.

The teaching to “love your enemies” is essentially an invitation to break that chain.

Forgiveness does not deny that a crime or injustice occurred. Rather, it prevents the injury from defining your life or the collective life of a nation.

The Wisdom of the Mystics

Christian mystics and sages throughout history have interpreted forgiveness in this deeper psychological and spiritual sense.

Mystics understood that resentment is not only a moral issue but also a spiritual and emotional burden carried within the human psyche. When you cling to hatred, you imprison yourself in a narrative that continually reopens old wounds.

For the mystics, forgiveness was therefore a form of inner freedom.

It meant releasing the emotional poison associated with the memory of an injustice. It meant refusing to allow the actions of another person to dictate the state of your soul.

The great medieval mystic Meister Eckhart spoke often about the necessity of inner detachment as the path to spiritual freedom. In one of his teachings, he wrote:

“All that God asks you most pressingly is to go out of yourself… and let God be God in you.”

Eckhart’s insight points to something profound. As long as you cling to resentment, anger, and the stories of your injuries, you remain trapped within the narrow confines of the wounded ego. Forgiveness, in the mystical sense, is a form of letting go of that inner prison.

This does not mean denying pain or pretending that something terrible did not happen. Rather, it is the conscious decision not to let bitterness shape your identity.

The Cycle of Revenge

History offers countless examples of how easily the oppressed can become the next oppressors when resentment, hate, or retribution goes unchecked.

The Iranian revolutionaries who overthrew the Shah in 1979 executed thousands. Revolutionary movements in France, Russia, and China promised liberation, yet often unleashed new waves of brutality under figures such as Lenin and Mao Zedong. The white Afrikaners in South Africa, who once suffered under British colonial rule, became oppressors themselves during the apartheid regime.

The same pattern can occur on a deeply personal level. The abused child may grow into an abusive adult. The daughter of an alcoholic parent may later struggle with addiction herself.

These tragic cycles demonstrate how unprocessed trauma and resentment can replicate the very behavior that once caused suffering.

Breaking this cycle requires more than justice alone. It requires inner transformation.

Forgiveness Is Not Reconciliation

One of the greatest misconceptions about forgiveness is the belief that it means excusing wrongdoing or restoring a relationship with the offender.

It does not.

Forgiveness does not require you to trust someone who has proven untrustworthy. It does not mean returning to a harmful relationship. Nor does it mean denying the need for justice or accountability.

Forgiveness simply means releasing the toxic emotional hold that the past may still have over you.

You may never see the person who harmed you again. They may even be long deceased. Yet the anger, shame, or pain connected to that experience can remain alive within you.

Forgiveness allows you to reclaim your inner space.

The Health of the Body and Mind

Modern research increasingly confirms what spiritual teachers have long suggested. Studies indicate that forgiveness can reduce chronic stress, lower blood pressure, and improve heart health.

The body and mind are deeply interconnected. Long-term resentment keeps the nervous system in a state of tension and vigilance, while forgiveness can help restore emotional balance and calm.

In this sense, forgiveness is not only a spiritual act—it is also an act of self-care.

A Journey, Not a Moment

Forgiveness is rarely a single decision made once and for all. It is often a gradual process that unfolds over time.

Sometimes you may believe you have forgiven someone, only to discover years later that a certain remark from a colleague or a supervisor unexpectedly triggers a disproportionate emotional reaction. In that moment, you realize that part of the original wound is still alive.

Such moments are not failures. They are invitations to continue the process of healing.

Forgiveness requires courage because it forces you to confront your own inner shadows—the pain, anger, and vulnerability you would often prefer to avoid.

Three Practical Steps Toward Forgiveness

Forgiveness is rarely a single moment of decision. More often, it is a gradual inner practice that unfolds over time. These three simple steps can help begin that process.

  • Acknowledge the Wound
    Forgiveness begins with honesty. Recognize the pain, anger, or betrayal you experienced without minimizing it. Suppressed emotions inevitably resurface later in unexpected ways. Naming the wound through reflection, prayer, or journaling helps bring it into the light.
  • Release the Grip of Resentment
    Forgiveness means choosing not to let the offense and grievance control your inner life. It does not excuse the wrongdoing or remove the need for justice. Rather, it is the decision to stop feeding the resentment and to free yourself from the emotional hold of the past. Meditation and breathing exercises that help focus the mind on the beauty and abundance of the present moment are useful tools.
  • Turn Pain Into Insight
    Over time, difficult experiences can deepen wisdom and compassion. Forgiveness allows the wound to become a source of understanding rather than a lifelong burden. The event remains part of your story, but it no longer defines your life or identity.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | February 9, 2026 · 9:24 am

Embracing Change: Pain and Growth

“Be willing to let go of who you are, for who you are becoming.” – Meister Eckhart (13th-Century Mystic)

There are moments in life when moving forward feels impossible. The way ahead seems blocked, not by one clear obstacle, but by a quiet accumulation of losses, disappointments, and unanswered questions. Something has ended. Something hurts in a way that cannot be easily fixed. And in those moments, it can feel as though nothing is happening at all.

Yet beneath the surface, something is quietly stirring. What looks like stillness is often a deep, unseen movement and a reordering that cannot be rushed or explained. This is not stagnation, but a subtle turning of the soul.

We are quick to judge these seasons as failures or weaknesses. We tell ourselves we should be coping better, moving faster, knowing more. But what if pain and failure are not signs that we have lost our way? What if they are threshold moments—gentle, demanding invitations into a new beginning, or into a deeper way of seeing and being?

Henry James, often regarded as a founding voice in American philosophy, spoke to this hidden depth when he wrote that life is “always more divine than it seems, and hence we can survive degradations and despairs which otherwise must engulf us.”

The Threshold Moment

A threshold is not a destination. It is not even a clear path. It is a space between: between what has been and what is becoming. It is coming out of a dark, cold winter with the seeds of spring waiting to sprout.

In threshold moments, the old story—the one that once made sense, gave structure, identity, or safety—begins to loosen its grip. It no longer fits. Yet the new story has not arrived fully formed. There are no clear instructions, and there is primarily uncertainty.

This in-between space can feel deeply uncomfortable. It often comes with grief, fatigue, confusion, or a quiet panic that whispers, “I should be further along by now.”

But thresholds are not failures of progress.
They are pauses of transformation.

When Pain Is Asking for Attention, Not Erasure

Pain has a bad reputation. There is a tendency to push it away, a rush to numb it with distractions, and explain it away. Yet pain often carries a message that can’t be accessed in any other way. It forces you to dig deep into your inner resources. It is asking you to slow down and pay attention to what is happening.

Failure, too, has a voice. It may be saying: This path has run its course. Or: This version of you has served its purpose.

Letting the Old Story End

Endings rarely announce themselves cleanly. More often, they fray at the edges. Motivation fades. Joy drains away. What once felt purposeful now feels heavy or hollow. It could be anything from a job, a location, a home, or even a long-term relationship. This should not be seen as betrayal or weakness, but something new unfolding slowly.

The courage of a threshold moment lies not in forcing clarity, but in allowing uncertainty to do its work in trusting that not knowing is sometimes the most honest spiritual posture.

You don’t need to rush to define the next chapter. You only need to be present enough to notice what is loosening—and what is quietly insisting on staying alive.

A Gentle Practice for the Threshold

Rather than trying to solve or transcend this moment, you might sit with it. Breathe with it. Let it speak. Found more moments of solitude so that the voice within can be perceived.

Ask yourself, without urgency or judgment:

  • What am I being asked to release?
    A role? An expectation? A belief or particular self-sabotaging talk?
  • What feels unfinished, yet still alive?
    A longing? A truth you haven’t yet honored? A call that has been whispering rather than shouting?

Staying with the Becoming

Thresholds are sacred precisely because they are uncomfortable. They strip away certainty and invite you into a deeper honesty. They teach you that meaning is not only found in arrival, but in the courage to stay present while becoming. They force you to look more closely in the darkness.

If you find yourself here—tired, unsure, grieving something you can’t quite name—know this:
You are not broken. You are not behind. You are standing at a doorway.

And sometimes, the most honest thing you can do is wait with open hands until the new story is ready to unfold.

If you find yourself standing in such a threshold—sensing that something has ended, but not yet knowing what comes next—you don’t have to walk this terrain alone. A Pilgrimage to New Beginnings is a gentle online journey created by me for moments just like this: a spacious, reflective path for those navigating endings, listening for what wants to be born, and learning to trust the wisdom of the in-between. If this speaks to where you are, you are warmly invited to join us on March 4th and take the next few steps—slowly, honestly, and in your own time.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

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by | January 12, 2026 · 3:52 am

A world in transition: The in-between season

Times of transition, like those we are living through now, are often marked by chaos, uncertainty, and the unraveling of certainties that no longer hold. These in-between seasons can be deeply unsettling, yet they are also profoundly formative. More than ever, such times call for clarity of purpose and a conscious alignment with our core values and guiding principles.

During such seasons, the new has not yet taken shape. The ancient Chinese I Ching, or the Book of Change, offers timeless guidance for such moments. It does not promise quick solutions or firm ground. Instead, it teaches us how to live wisely while the ground is moving beneath our feet.

The new struggling to be born

At the heart of the I Ching is a simple truth: change is not an interruption of life. Chaos is not a mistake. It is often the sign that something new is struggling to be born.

In times of transition, the I Ching counsels restraint rather than force. The outer world feels increasingly unstable, with the individual feeling helpless amid external circumstances that cannot be controlled. Yet the I Ching invites us to turn toward inner alignment. Before you act, you are asked to listen. Before you decide, you are asked to become still enough to discern what truly matters.

Waiting is not passive resignation

These in-between seasons call for patience. The I Ching reminds us that timing is sacred. Action taken too soon can distort what is forming; action taken too late can miss the moment entirely. As the book puts it:

“Waiting. If you are sincere,
You have light and success.”
— I Ching, Hexagram 5

This waiting is not passive resignation. It is an active, attentive presence—a way of staying faithful to the process even when the outcome is not yet visible.

Discovering what genuinely sustains you

Integrity becomes the anchor in such times. When familiar supports fall away, you discover what genuinely sustains you. The I Ching repeatedly emphasizes that inner truth—not certainty, control, or speed—is what carries us through periods of upheaval. To remain faithful to what is essential within you is, in itself, a spiritual practice.

The book also teaches adaptability without self-betrayal. Like water, we are encouraged to yield without losing our depth, to respond without hardening, to move with change rather than against it. True transformation, it suggests, begins quietly, often invisibly, long before it takes form in the outer world.

Perhaps most importantly, the I Ching directs our attention away from grand solutions and back toward the small and the near:

  • The words we choose to speak
  • Listening with mindfulness
  • Caring for one another
  • Paying attention to the inner life and consciousness.

In times of uncertainty, it is these humble acts that carry the future.

The in-between is not a void. It is a threshold.

When we stop trying to escape it, fix it, or rush through it, we begin to sense its hidden gift. Something is loosening. Something is aligning. Something is quietly taking shape.

And the invitation is simple, though not easy: to become still enough to hear what this season of change is asking of you.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S. For those who feel drawn to explore this in-between season more intentionally, I am offering a six-week online course, Pilgrimage into New Beginnings. It is a quiet, reflective journey for times of transition, starting February 4th.

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by | December 8, 2025 · 10:51 am

Redefining Masculinity: Traits Young Men Need Today

It has become a common story: a mother quietly confesses that her 30-something son is still living at home, unemployed, spending most of his days in the basement playing PC games—while his sister is thriving on every level and living the life of her dreams.

Figures from the United States, the United Kingdom, and the European Union reflect a rising trend: an estimated one in five men over 30 still lives in the parental home. Meanwhile, 63 per cent of men aged 18–29 are single, while women are surpassing their male counterparts in both education and income.

My recent Blog post on “Young Men: Angry, Isolated and Armed” touched a nerve because it captured something unfolding quietly but urgently: amid a growing mental-health crisis, young men are withdrawing into isolation or channelling their shame and frustration into outdated, hyper-aggressive role models, many of them fueled by right-wing extremist groups.

Technological and cultural shifts have opened unprecedented opportunities for young women—changes that their mothers and grandmothers could only dream of. Equal opportunity and equal pay were long overdue. But the traditional image of masculinity as the stoic provider, unflinching warrior, emotional brick wall, no longer fits into a modern world in which connection, communication, and adaptability matter more than ever.

So what are young women seeking in a partner today? And how do we define healthy masculinity in this new landscape?

Across many studies, three traits consistently appear as the most desired qualities in a long-term partner: kindness, intelligence, and confidence. They are foundational to stable relationships, but they are also widely misunderstood.

Kindness is not passivity or people-pleasing. It is emotional steadiness, especially in times of struggle or pain. It shows up in how a man treats others, especially family members, friends, and strangers. Men high in kindness respond to stress with calm problem-solving rather than withdrawal or aggression. Kindness begins with self-respect; young men must learn to accept and care for themselves before that inner stability can radiate outward.

Intelligence is not about high IQ scores or academic pedigree. It is the ability to navigate life with self-awareness, adaptability, and emotional understanding. Intelligent partners can manage their emotions, communicate clearly, listen actively, and reflect honestly on their own behaviour. They do not hide behind logic to avoid vulnerability or connection.

Confidence is perhaps the most misinterpreted trait of all. True confidence is quiet, grounded self-assurance—not the loud, performative “alpha” posturing that dominates so much online discourse. Confident men know who they are and do not need to brag, dominate, or seek constant validation. They can have difficult conversations without collapsing into defensiveness. They avoid unnecessary conflict—not from fear, but from maturity. This is where healthy masculine strength shows its true form: protective, steady, and principled.

These three traits aren’t random. Together, they form the bedrock of a healthy long-term relationship: a partner who is emotionally safe, self-aware, capable of repair, and stable during conflict.

To make this more tangible, here are some widely recognised men in entertainment who are publicly perceived as embodying kindness, intelligence, or confidence, while acknowledging we cannot know their private lives:

Keanu Reeves is often cited as the gold standard of humble, grounded kindness, giving generously without seeking credit. Tom Hanks represents steadiness and emotional warmth and is seen as approachable and gracious.

Ethan Hawke, symbolises intelligence as a deeply reflective and thoughtful artist. He writes books, directs films and speaks creatively with nuance. John Krasinski balances his humour with intelligent storytelling.

Men who symbolize grounded confidence are Idris Elba with a calm, steady presence and Mahershala Ali (Green Book) who embodies a quiet power and self-assurance.

The crisis facing young men today is not simply about a lack of economic opportunity; it is a crisis of identity. As society rapidly evolves, many young men are left without a clear model of what it means to be strong, successful, and valued in today’s world. But the path forward is not found in nostalgia for outdated roles or in reactionary anger. It lies in cultivating traits that make relationships—and communities—thrive: kindness, intelligence, and confidence grounded in self-awareness rather than ego.

If young men can embrace these qualities, they won’t just meet the expectations of a fast-changing world—they will exceed them. And in doing so, they will rediscover a masculinity that is not lost, but evolving: resilient, emotionally present, relationally strong, and profoundly needed.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | November 17, 2025 · 3:19 pm

Your Superpower in a Loud Society

„Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”— Aristotle

Standing guard at the doorway of your mind has become essential to maintaining spiritual and mental health in an age where our minds are drowning in information but thirsting for wisdom.

What you feed your mind, you ultimately become. A few careless minutes scrolling on your smartphone can trigger a cascade of emotions that can shape your entire day.

If you are reading this, you are likely one of the few who is actively reflecting on what is happening to us collectively.

Conflict and social disruption will always be part of the human condition—we are imperfect beings, after all. But we also carry within us the profound power of choice.

When the fringe becomes the megaphone

My impression is that the darker impulses of humanity are being amplified through the very technology meant to connect us. Fanatical fringe groups and those consumed by malice spend countless hours attacking others with hate-filled messages. Social media companies do little to halt this simply because emotionally charged content fuels engagement—and engagement fuels profit.

We may believe we are in control of what enters our minds, but for most people this is not true. Social media and search engine algorithms quietly track our behavior and serve up the content we are most likely to consume. In doing so, they shape not only our preferences, but our thinking.

Echo chambers of belief

Beliefs and opinions are constantly being reaffirmed within separate realities—information bubbles where each group hears only the echoes of its own worldview. Families, friendships, communities, and even congregations are fracturing along these invisible but powerful dividing lines.

What we need is a collective pushback from the quiet majority: the rational, thoughtful, grounded people who do not fall for emotional manipulation. That resistance begins by asking simple but profound questions:

Is this information expanding my energy or diminishing it?

Is it helping me grow, evolve, and reach my full potential?

A common misconception is that knowledge, information, and education alone equal wisdom. Yet many highly intelligent people refuse to learn from their mistakes, cling to fixed mindsets, and resist deeper reflection—never realizing they have been backing the wrong horse all along.

The power of who and what you surround yourself with

True wisdom is innate knowledge shaped through experience. It is the quiet confidence of intuition and higher consciousness. When you choose to surround yourself with wise friends, nourish your mind with spiritual teachings, and seek guidance from grounded mentors, you naturally grow in wisdom.

Equally essential is practicing self-care by setting firm boundaries with people, media, and environments that deplete your mind, body, and soul. Self-care is not indulgence—it is alignment. It is taking time for silence, contemplation, and reconnection with your inner life.

Choosing this path gradually fills your life with greater happiness and contentment because you begin building a bridge to your soul. Your actions shift from serving the ego to serving the greater whole.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | October 28, 2025 · 1:25 pm

The Sacred Bond Between Dogs and Humans

Yesterday, I had to make a very difficult decision in letting go of my beloved Dalmatian, Klara, who has been a faithful companion through the seasons of my life for over fourteen and a half years. Her gentle presence, unwavering loyalty, and unconditional love have been a constant reminder of the sacred bond that exists between dogs and their humans.

Dogs are spiritual beings. Their devotion and ability to love without condition form a bridge between the seen and the unseen, assisting us on our soul’s journey in ways we often only begin to understand when they are gone.

Every dog owner who has shared a deep bond with their four-legged friend will tell you that dogs can sense our emotions long before we consciously recognize them ourselves. They seem to perceive energy fields and emotional undercurrents that go beyond human understanding.

The Science Behind Emotional Connection

Interestingly, modern science is beginning to confirm what dog lovers have always known in their hearts. There’s now solid scientific evidence that dogs can detect and respond to human emotions through scent.

Studies using physiological measures — such as cortisol levels, heart rate, and fMRI brain scans — reveal that dogs can literally smell our emotional states. These scent cues influence their own behavior and even their stress responses.

  • A 2018 study published in Animal Cognition exposed dogs to sweat samples from humans who had watched either a scary or a neutral video. Dogs who sniffed “fear sweat” showed higher heart rates, sought comfort from their owners, and avoided strangers.
  • A 2022 study at Queen’s University Belfast trained dogs to distinguish between stress-related sweat and breath samples versus neutral ones. Astonishingly, the dogs identified the “stress” samples correctly 94% of the time after just a few trials.

These findings show that dogs can detect emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness, and happiness through subtle chemical shifts tied to hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. They use this information to adjust their behavior — offering comfort, staying close, or becoming cautious — depending on what we’re feeling.

Dogs as Mirrors of Our Inner World

Beyond their empathy, dogs often mirror aspects of our own nature that invite us to grow.

  • A dog that shows exceptional love may be teaching us to open our hearts more fully.
  • A stubborn dog might be reminding us to loosen our own rigidity.
  • A loyal dog teaches us the deep beauty of steadfastness.

When I had a Rhodesian Ridgeback, it taught me the power of focus and presence. If my mind wandered during our walks, my dog would sense it immediately, pulling in all directions or breaking free to chase a rabbit. The lesson was clear: stay present.

Dogs even reflect us in surprising physical ways. Some adopt the walking gait of their owners — and there are remarkable stories of dogs developing a limp to mirror an injured owner, even walking on three legs in solidarity.

Timeless Companionship

When I was a teenager, I had a fox terrier named Stompie who would wait by the gate each day precisely at the moment I returned from school. Decades later, Klara — who lost her hearing two years ago — would still be waiting on the terrace just minutes before my arrival, somehow sensing I was on my way home. That intuitive bond transcends logic; it belongs to the language of love and connection that dogs seem to speak fluently.

The Neurology of Love

Recent studies show that the dog–owner relationship activates brain regions similar to those seen in the infant–mother bond. In dogs, the reward center of the brain responds more strongly to their owner’s voice than to that of a familiar person. More attached dogs show even greater neural activity when hearing their owner’s praise — evidence that the emotional connection runs deep on both sides.

At Harvard University, researchers are now studying how social bonds between children and their pet dogs develop over time — exploring whether these relationships can help reduce stress for both child and dog alike. The answers may help us better understand what many of us already know intuitively: love shared with a dog is healing, grounding, and transformative.

Klara’s passing has left a void in my home and in my heart but also a profound gratitude for the years we shared. Her spirit, like so many beloved companions before her, reminds me that love never truly leaves. It simply changes form, waiting patiently for us, just as our dogs always have.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | October 20, 2025 · 8:01 am

When a Society Loses its Mind

“It is not famine, not earthquakes, not microbes, not cancer, but man himself who is man’s greatest danger to man, for the simple reason that there is no adequate protection against psychic epidemics, which are infinitely more devastating than the worst of natural catastrophes.”
— Carl Gustav Jung, “The Undiscovered Self” (1957)

There’s a virus spreading faster than any we’ve seen before. It doesn’t attack the body, but the mind.
It’s called collective insanity, where whole groups of people begin to share the same irrational beliefs, emotions, and behaviors, drifting further and further from reality.

This kind of madness takes hold when critical thinking collapses and a free press is silenced or controlled. When truth becomes inconvenient, emotion and ideology take over. Falsehoods repeated often enough start to sound like truth, and soon, everyone is echoing the same slogans without stopping to ask, “Does this make sense?”

Collective insanity usually begins in times of deep economic and social uncertainty. The world feels unstable and frightening. During social unrest, war, economic turmoil, or disease, people crave certainty. They long for simple answers to complex problems, and for someone who promises to make everything right again.

That’s when a charismatic leader often appears, offering clear, emotionally charged explanations that seem to restore order. Dictators like Hitler, Mao, and Mussolini understood this perfectly. They demanded total obedience, convincing millions to surrender personal freedom, conscience, and judgment.

Strong emotions like anger, hate, and retribution spread quickly, almost like an infection of the soul.
We “catch” emotions from one another through something psychologists call emotional contagion. The more a narrative is repeated, the more real it begins to feel.

In authoritarian systems or cult-like movements, people learn to silence their doubts. To question is to risk punishment or exclusion, and so they conform. In time, they begin to believe the very lies they once only pretended to accept. (Experiments have shown this again and again, most famously by Solomon Asch, who proved that people will deny what they see if everyone around them disagrees.)

Collective insanity thrives where access to truth is restricted. It becomes especially dangerous when a small handful of billionaires control the flow of information or when social media algorithms feed us only what confirms our existing beliefs. These echo chambers create entire worlds of illusion, each reinforcing its own version of “truth.”

And once a society defines an enemy — witches, heretics, another race, or “the corrupt elite” — violence begins to feel justified, even noble. We see this pattern today in the growing attacks on politicians, judges, and journalists who dare to hold opposing views. The moral compass spins wildly when truth and empathy are lost.

The Way Out

History shows us that collective insanity inevitably ends, but often only after great suffering and when the truth finally comes out. The cult leader is exposed when there is no longer any denying of his sexual abuse. There is no longer any denying the authoritarian leader’s corruption, inept leadership and personal enrichment.
In Germany, the delusion collapsed when the war was lost, millions of lives had been lost, and the truth could no longer be denied. Putin’s Russia is possibly facing a similar scenario.
In South Africa, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission forced the nation to face the horrors of apartheid, allowing confession, grief, and healing to begin.

The path back to sanity always begins with truth-telling and with courage.
It takes brave souls, compassionate communities, and civic action groups to speak truth, even when it’s unpopular or dangerous. It takes emotional honesty and the willingness to face the grief, guilt, and fear without turning away.

When this is done collectively, something powerful happens. Healing begins.
We rediscover our shared humanity. Sanity and peace begin in the heart of each person who chooses truth, faith, and courage over fear.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | October 14, 2025 · 9:05 am

The COVID-19 Legacy: Social Fragmentation and Healing

Two years ago, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared that the COVID-19 pandemic was no longer a public health emergency. Yet its psychological and social aftershocks continue to ripple through societies, fragmenting communities once gripped by fear and fueling political extremism.

Several studies have now confirmed what many suspected: the pandemic and ensuing lockdowns had a profound impact on mental health worldwide. For the first time in history, scientists were able to observe the effects of collective fear on a truly global scale.

The Emotional Toll

While experiences varied across regions and communities, several broad patterns emerged:

  • Prolonged uncertainty, isolation, and fear led to widespread anxiety, depression, and burnout.
  • Eroding trust became a defining feature, as people grew confused and skeptical toward governments, media, and even science amid rapidly shifting information.
  • Collective grief settled over the world, a mourning not only for lost lives, but also for lost time, normalcy, and connection.

Shifting Social Landscapes

Communities fractured along new fault lines with differing views on vaccines, lockdowns, and mask mandates dividing families, friends, and neighbors.
Technology became both a lifeline and a liability: it kept people connected yet deepened isolation, fatigue, and exposure to misinformation and conspiracy theories.

The Mind–Body Connection

Emotional stress is one of the most significant threats to both mental and physical health. Neuroscience and medical research have long shown that chronic activation of the body’s stress response can harm nearly every system, especially the immune and cardiovascular systems.

  • The Whitehall Studies in the U.K. found that chronic job stress increases the risk of heart disease.
  • The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study revealed that early-life emotional trauma elevates the risk of chronic illness in adulthood.

The link between mind and body is undeniable—but so too is our capacity for resilience.

Cultivating Resilience

Research shows that stress resilience or the ability to recover from emotional adversity can buffer these effects. Protective factors include:

  • Strong social connections
  • Spiritual or faith practices
  • Mindfulness and meditation
  • Regular exercise and restorative sleep
  • A deep sense of purpose or meaning

A Shared Awakening

The pandemic also ignited a global period of reflection on mortality, interdependence, and renewal. Many rediscovered spirituality, nature, and the quiet power of mindfulness. For perhaps the first time in modern memory, humanity was united by a shared awareness of its own fragility.

A Creative Rebirth

For me personally, the lockdown became a period of unexpected inspiration. It was during this time that I began writing my novel Sages, Saints and Sinners. In my research, I discovered haunting parallels between our modern experience and the Black Death of medieval times, echoing the same fear, isolation, and uncertainty, followed ultimately by rebirth.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | September 29, 2025 · 7:28 am

Young Men: Angry, Isolated, and Armed

Only moments after news broke that a young suspect had allegedly killed American right-wing influencer Charlie Kirk, social media erupted in a frenzy of conspiracy theories. The scene felt eerily familiar, much like the wave of accusations and blame that followed after another young man narrowly missed assassinating Donald Trump last year

What gets lost in the noise of speculation and outrage is a sober analysis of a deeper crisis: why do we have millions of disaffected young men, many struggling with mental health, who are willing to pick up a gun to make their pain known?

An alarming number of these young men are filling their “purpose void” by clinging to extremist groups that promise them antiquated, hyper-masculine role models. Recent election trends in France, Germany, the United Kingdom, and within America’s MAGA movement reveal a dangerous regression: large swathes of young men are gravitating toward demagogic macho cultures led by right-wing authoritarian figureheads who thrive on their grievances, anger, and lack of self-esteem.

Contrary to the narrative put out by much of the right-wing media ecosystem, including Donald Trump, the majority of politically-motivated violence committed in the United States comes from the right and not from the radical left, according to a detailed study (Duran, Celinet. 2021)

“Since 1990, far-right extremists have committed far more ideologically motivated homicides than far-left or radical Islamic extremists, including 227 events that took more than 520 lives. In the same period, far-left extremists committed 42 ideologically motivated attacks that took 78 lives,” the study summarizes.

On the island of Mallorca, where I live, I regularly witness another side of this crisis. Especially in the summer months, groups of intoxicated young male tourists flood beaches and holiday resorts, behaving with little regard for social norms or basic decency. Their drinking, brawling, and even defecating in public spaces have become so disruptive that local civic groups are pressuring authorities to enforce strict policing and high fines. For me, it is a vivid, almost daily reminder of how quickly young men, when stripped of purpose and responsibility, can descend into destructive, tribal behavior. What might appear as “holiday fun” on the surface exposes the deeper cultural sickness: a generation of young men searching for meaning in the bottom of a beer bottle, in the adrenaline of a fight, or in the temporary dominance of taking over a public space.

This trend is unfolding at a time when women are excelling—academically, professionally, and socially—at unprecedented levels. In the United States, the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) reports that in 2020, 59% of all undergraduates were women. In the 2019–2020 academic year, women earned 60% of master’s degrees and 54% of doctoral degrees. Higher education is translating into better access to high-paying jobs, even in traditionally male-dominated fields like technology and engineering.

The “Purpose Void”

For generations, boys found meaning in roles as warriors, leaders, or sole breadwinners. Today, those traditional roles are fading, leaving many bright young men adrift—alienated, withdrawn, and often addicted to instant gratification. Psychologists Warren Farrell and John Gray argue that compulsive gaming and digital distractions are exacerbating attention problems like ADHD, compounding the sense of purposelessness.

The consequences are severe. Suicide rates among young men soar to six times that of young women. Many of these young men eventually turn to ultramasculine role models, where empowerment is equated with violence, weaponry, and membership in extremist male-only groups.

The pattern is clear: demagogues prey on their discontent, offering simple answers and a return to an “idealized” patriarchal past. Outsiders—immigrants, minorities, or anyone different—become scapegoats. A dystopian promise emerges: a reborn patriarchy led by a “fatherly” figure who will restore order.

It Takes a Village

This is not to dismiss the courageous efforts of single mothers, many of whom raise healthy, caring, and successful sons despite enormous challenges. But we cannot ignore that the overwhelming majority of violent crime is committed by men. In the U.S., more than nine times as many men as women have been incarcerated at some point in their lives. Men also experience higher victimization rates for nearly every category of violent crime.

African wisdom offers a clue to solutions. The proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child,” underscores the importance of community in raising the next generation. A Swahili saying echoes the same truth: “Whomsoever is not taught by the mother will be taught by the world.”

Traditional African societies understood child-rearing as a communal responsibility. By contrast, in modern industrialized nations, single mothers are too often left without support—bearing the double burden of earning a living while raising children. With the exception of Nordic countries and parts of Europe, state support for early childcare and education is minimal, leaving long-term social costs far greater than the investments required.

Resilient children are raised in resilient communities. They learn values and social skills not just from parents but from grandparents, uncles, aunts, mentors, and family friends. They are shaped by role models who find purpose in service, not just in short-term gratification.

A Way Forward

While extremist movements exploit the vulnerabilities of young men by blaming external enemies, the true crisis lies within. Addressing it requires a multi-layered approach:

  • Promote healthy models of masculinity that normalize emotional openness, empathy, and vulnerability.
  • Foster peer support and mentorship so young men have safe spaces to share struggles and learn from older role models.
  • Invest in community programs—team sports, skill-building workshops, and local initiatives—that counter isolation with belonging and purpose.

Right now, we are witnessing the rise of the most dangerous species on earth: young men in their early twenties with access to a gun. We cannot allow demagogues to hijack their pain, feeding them a false sense of empowerment rooted in violence, toxic masculinity, and nostalgia for a patriarchal past.

If we want a safer and healthier future, we must fill the purpose void, before others do.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | August 25, 2025 · 6:00 am

Beyond Noise: Rilke’s Invitation to Stillness

I’ve been contemplating one of Rilke’s poems lately. It has stayed with me because it speaks so directly to our world today, where noise and distractions pull from all directions. Rilke envisions a silence so profound that all the noise, chatter, busyness of the senses, and endless distractions simply fall away.

And, in that stillness, he says, we might finally glimpse the divine with full clarity.

If only it would be, just once, completely quiet…
If only it would be, just once, completely quiet.
If the random, and the approximate
went mute, and the neighbors’ laughter,
if the noise that my senses make
wouldn’t so stubbornly keep me from waking–
Then I could, in a thousandfold
thought, think you right to the edge of you
and have you (just a smile long),
to give to all life as a gift
like a thank-you.

Reading this, I couldn’t help but notice how often we treat noise, chatter, and distraction as normal. Yet maybe our constant talking, scrolling, and background hum are really a way of avoiding something scarier: just sitting with the stillness within.

Stillness can feel so unsettling because it invites us to hear the inner voice we’ve been ignoring, the voice of authenticity, of truth, of God. Rilke reminds me that silence isn’t empty at all. It’s a threshold. If we dare to step into it, we may discover presence, gratitude, and a deeper connection with life than all our distractions could ever offer.

You could also take a walk in nature, opening the senses to natural sounds that are different from noise. Birdsong, the waters of a creek, the rustling of leaves in the trees—all of it forms a beautiful symphony. In those moments, you can feel yourself connected to a larger whole and begin to perceive the subtle whispers of the universe.

So here’s a simple practice: find just five minutes today to sit in stillness. Turn off the phone, close your eyes, and notice the quiet beneath the noise. At first it may feel uncomfortable, but stay with it. Listen for that subtle inner voice—the one that whispers rather than shouts. You may find, as Rilke did, that in the stillness something sacred begins to stir.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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