Tag Archives: lifestyle

by | February 6, 2023 · 9:29 pm

The virus of victim culture

How would you feel when after your passing you were shown by an angel the life you could have lived but didn’t live because you were too afraid to take action or spent a life in misery by blaming everyone else, especially your elementary family for what went wrong in your life?

To some degree, it’s everyone’s story. Families and relationships are strained by divorce, emotional abuse, financial issues or poor physical and mental health. But the external world, especially social media, indoctrinates us with the message that we are always supposed to be happy. Life is never like that. The seasons of nature teach us that we go through cycles of spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Our grievance culture thrives on negativity which has become like a virus infecting individuals and millions of people in entire nations. A person infected with grievance culture is incapable of self-reflection and taking responsibility. He would rather wallow in feeling sorry for himself for what all the others did to him in creating the situation he finds himself in. By blaming others he has a perfect excuse for not taking action to change the status quo.

Victim culture can poison entire nations

On a macro-level, it is a hallmark of fascist and extremist movements led by demagogues who have the ability to channel the toxic emotions of hate, anxiety, and fear into blaming ethnic minorities, other religions, political parties or genders for everything that has gone wrong in society. The fascists of Nazi Germany found fertile ground in stirring the flames of existing 19th-century Prussian militarism, hurt national pride, and prejudice toward the Jewish minority.

Comparisons with the current situation in Russia are striking. The Russian leadership is effectively using hurt national pride after the collapse of the Soviet Union to justify the invasion of another country. The messaging from state Russian media is that NATO was responsible for starting the war and that the atrocities committed by Russian troops are fake news.

A democratic modern Germany and the European Union could only be built after total defeat of Adolf Hitler and the realization that nationalism can never be a solution. In the same way dramatic changes in Russia will possibly only came after total collapse of the current authoritarian economic and political order.

Grievance culture is an addiction to a mindset. The individual is in total denial that there is a problem. The healing process is then only possible during an epiphany that comes with a flat-on-the-ground moment. The frustration level, disgust, and pain threshold has reached such a level that the first steps toward changing the situation are taken.

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Life is cyclical: Winter is a time for reflection and opportunity

The winter cycles of life when we are in pain, grief and suffering offer also the greatest opportunity to an elevation of consciousness and change. Conflicts in relationships, in a job, or in a family are signposts pinpointing that changes need to be made, and that the status quo is no longer working. You are given an opportunity by the universe to dig deep into your inner resources, your inner truth, and your soul purpose. The winter cycles of life are a time for withdrawal and self-reflection where the ideas, and opportunities for the next cycle, spring, are born.

Some of the most successful start-ups have been founded during an economic downturn or recession. Several of the world’s most outstanding business and political leaders transmuted the winter years of their lives into activism, leadership, and creativity. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison, never losing sight of the long-term goal to become president of a non-racial democratic South Africa.

Martin Luther King wrote about his own suffering:

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it a virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive.”

Success for these outstanding personalities came after many trials and tribulations where any normal person would have succumbed to bitterness and blame. We see often only the end result of their accomplishment and not the rough path, the inner work, discipline, and dedication they built to get there.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 31, 2023 · 8:54 am

The greatest threat to humanity

There is a common notion that external threats such as a nuclear war or a climate catastrophe could spell the end of humanity but a far greater threat looms in what the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung described as the collective psychosis of the human mind.

In marking Holocaust Memorial Day it is worth remembering that the murder of six million Jews did not happen overnight. It is dangerous to assume that the catastrophe was executed by Adolf Hitler and a small cabal with warped and psychotic minds. Without the support of millions of ordinary people, the holocaust would never have happened. The Nazis became the largest party in Germany with 37 percent of the popular vote in a democratic election in 1932.

Brutal dictators of the last century such as Josef Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, and Pol Pot headed mass movements that executed policies claiming the lives of millions of people.

Beyond the veil of normalcy lies many a dark shadow

It is easy to argue that this is history and that it will never happen again. But the war crimes in Ukraine demonstrate that beneath the civil exterior of many a “normal” person lurks the shadow of evil. Russian leader Vladimir Putin would never have come to power and remained in power without the support of millions of ordinary Russian people.

Crimes of individual leaders do not abscond the collective responsibility of the populace who enabled and supported them. Jung spent most of his life studying the unknown world of the human subconscious mind.

“We need more understanding of human nature because the only real danger that exists is man himself. He is a great danger, and we are pitifully unaware of it. We know nothing of man, far too little. His psyche should be studied because we are the origin of all coming evil,” Jung surmised.

It is worth bearing in mind as the world stumbles toward ever-greater totalitarianism even in countries where we thought democracy was deeply ingrained. During psychosis, people lose their sense of truth and reality. Mass Psychosis is when a large section of the populace turns all its attention to a leader or series of events and all attention is focused just on one issue. Millions of people are hypnotized by dogma, ideology, or toxic emotions such as hate regardless of the facts.

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Social media compounds mass madness

It does not come as a surprise that Facebook and Twitter have just reinstated the social media accounts of several prominent spewers of hate and toxic emotions. Studies reveal that negativity spreads more than positivity on social media.  The most controversial, vindictive, and outlandishly ridiculous posts on social media generate the most clicks and therefore advertising revenue. Emotions rule the game. The guardrails have fallen a long time ago. All the more important is that the individual stands guard at the doorway to the mind. What you consume as a reader has more influence on making you into the person you are now than you might think.

Instead of bringing us together, it appears that some social media is tearing apart the very fabric of society with cyber-bullying, hate posts, and fake news. According to a SimpleTexting survey six out of ten people said that they were afraid to post about certain topics for fear of negative feedback. A massive 90 percent of people also said they’ve even seen racist posts by people in their network. In addition, 86 percent say they’ve seen negative content regarding sexual orientation and gender posted by people in their network.

According to research by the Center for Countering Digital Hate the social media platform TikTok, used by two-thirds of teenagers on a daily basis, is responsible for bombarding young people’s feeds with “harmful, harrowing content that can have a significant cumulative impact on their understanding of the world around them, and their physical and mental health.”  Researchers set up new accounts in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia at the minimum age TikTok allows, 13 years old. These accounts paused briefly on videos about body image and mental health and liked them. “What we found was deeply disturbing. Within 2.6 minutes, TikTok recommended suicide content. Within 8 minutes, TikTok served content related to eating disorders. Every 39 seconds, TikTok recommended videos about body image and mental health to teens,” the organization concluded.

The difference between emotions and logical thought

When you are captured by emotions you are out of control. Emotional information is shared more frequently than non-emotional information both online and offline. An angry person can easily be manipulated by external forces. It’s the tool many a demagogue has used throughout history. When in fear, anger, or anxiety your logical brain literally shuts off and puts you into fight or flight mode. You are no longer in control. It is like driving a car under the influence of alcohol. Emotions never tell the truth. They have to be filtered by the logical mind that has the capacity to discern between truth and fiction.

Parents need to monitor and communicate with their children on what they are watching on social media sites. On an individual level you need to train your awareness. What is truth and what is fake? Am I feeding my mind with positive, uplifting, spiritual and educational information or am I being manipulated with information that triggers emotions of hate, anger, fear and anxiety?

By boosting your vibrational energy on a daily basis with exercise, healthy food, and mental training such as meditation you will at the same time attract those things into your life that are of the same higher frequency.

Every generation has its own challenge. We are on the threshold of an age where Artificial Intelligence (AI) will influence and change the lives of humanity in multiple ways. AI could be useful in solving some of society’s most pressing problems such as climate change. But it can also be abused in destroying the social fabric of society as we know it if guardrails are not put in place.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 24, 2023 · 9:04 am

Things don’t fall apart suddenly

A leak in the roof of a house will drip by drip gradually weaken the structural walls until the foundations give way and the house collapses. When small repairs are not carried out they become big problems. A health crisis is preceded by many small aches and pains. A relationship breakdown will have a long history of hurts, insults, and betrayals. A company’s bankruptcy comes after years of poor management and missed opportunities.

The seeds of the failed nation are sown with the gradual growth of the tentacles of corruption, poor government, and nepotism. Countries such as Venezuela, Zimbabwe, Argentina, and my home country South Africa once had booming economies but are today sad reminders of how fast the rot can set in.

In the 1990s the South African city centers of Johannesburg, Durban, and Pretoria were bustling with excellent restaurants, jazz clubs, theatres, and parks. Visitors from many countries could move around fairly safely. Today these same areas are a sad conglomerate of dilapidated buildings with broken windows and ransacked and gutted interiors. The pot-holed streets are littered with trash and any tourist walking through these areas would be risking their life. It did not come overnight. The rot was gradual after years of mismanagement and corruption by the ruling African National Congress (ANC).

When Vladimir Putin took over from Russian president Boris Yeltsin in the year 1999, several critics warned that the former KGB agent was a dangerous threat to democracy. Western leaders simply failed to see the early warning signs that presaged Russia’s ever-greater slide into authoritarianism as journalists, opposition politicians, and businessmen were poisoned, shot, or imprisoned. Turning a blind eye eventually led to the invasion of the sovereign country Ukraine.

A successful company begins to decline when market signals are ignored and customers are taken for granted or their complaints are ignored. How many successful brand names of the past are today no more. Some iconic brand names that have disappeared are Pan Am, once the world’s largest air carrier, Polaroid, the pioneer of Instamatic cameras, the bookstore Borders which failed to make the transition to a new business or digital business model and many automobile brands such as Pontiac, Saab, Oldsmobile, and Borgward.

The boiling frog syndrome

The phenomenon of the boiling frog syndrome is that the water in the pot is gradually heated so that the frog hardly notices the gradual rise in temperature until it’s too late. Does that not tell us something about the climate debate? Scientists have warned since the late 1980s that we would be seeing extreme weather patterns as the result of the warming of the earth’s atmosphere because of the excessive burning of fossil fuels by the middle of this century. They were off the mark by at least two decades. Nobody could have predicted the ferocity of summer temperatures and storms that we are seeing in many countries at this moment in time.

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Tunnel vision

A hallmark of an entitlement culture is the tunnel vision of the ego mind. When in tunnel vision there is no evolution or progress of mind and spirit. The head-mind or “ego-mind” is caught in a belief. Its mind is made up of what is right and wrong in the world.

Head-Mind is incapable of listening to the alternative argument and will interrupt you before you have finished your sentence. They will tell you that 1+1 = 4. Nothing will persuade them otherwise. Their lives have been taken over by an alternate reality and they will be reaffirming their belief daily with similar believers in social media bubbles. Once entrenched in a tunnel-vision bubble it is virtually impossible to break down the walls the person has surrounded himself with. The person is addicted to a certain belief or thought.

When the human is in puberty you will be warning him with greater urgency of the train ahead. He will nevertheless deny that there is a train coming until it’s too late. It’s what parents all too often painfully have to go through. The child in puberty has to make its own experience, learn its own lessons and draw its own conclusions from the pain it suffers.

An alcoholic will very often only seek help during an epiphany that comes in a “flat on the ground” moment. The person is so disgusted and pained about his own behavior that he will admit finally that he has a problem. It is the first step in the healing process.

Negative and destructive behavior has the habit of sneaking into life in many subtle ways. It is one of the reasons why so many New Year resolutions fail. Typical sabotaging self-talk could be: “It won’t make much of a difference if I skip my workout this morning.” “I need to reward myself with a shopping spree after saving for two months.” “It won’t affect my relationship if I cheat on my partner just this once.”

Creating a life of bliss with positive habits

Transmuting pain and suffering leads to higher consciousness and positive change. Meaning and purpose is found after years of depression. A fulfilling, loving relationship is found after enduring years of abuse in a dysfunctional marriage. A different and more fulfilling work is sought after job burnout. An exercise routine and a healthy diet are followed with passion after overcoming a life-threatening disease.

The underlying reason for procrastination and indecision is often the fear that a change might be worse than the status quo. Starting with small “baby steps” in taking the first doable actions can make all the difference. You don’t have to wait and experience pain. You will know by now in what areas of life you need to make a change.

What can you do today? What can be done that will start the ball rolling? If you enter an untidy room filled with junk, you start by clearing one small area, then the following day the next, and so on. Getting physically fit could start with a walk of 2,000 steps and then gradually increase it day by day to 10,000 steps. Reducing a stressed out and fearful mind can begin with a short meditation lasting three minutes until 15-20 minutes is done with ease because you feel so much better afterward. Training body, mind, and spirit to a new level of consciousness and bliss comes after a reawakening from the shadowlands.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 17, 2023 · 8:20 am

You are not your beliefs and thoughts

Change your thoughts and you will change your life

The average human being typically has more than 6,000 thoughts per day. The figure was pinpointed by a team of psychology experts at Queen’s University in Canada, who say they have developed a never-before-seen way to detect when one thought ends and another begins.

Other researchers estimate that we process between 60,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day. In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article saying of those thousands of thoughts, 80 percent were negative, and 95 percent were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

What you think you become

It, therefore, makes perfect sense to practice thought control. It can change your life. What you think you will become. It is the self-image with which you program yourself. Attachment to thoughts and beliefs imprison the mind. It is what the Buddhists describe as one of the major causes of suffering.

Our culture has been poisoned by narcissism and ego-centered thought. The predominant messaging is on external appearance, image, and possession. This inevitably leads to a disconnect with inner authenticity, spiritual purpose, and BEING. The more pronounced this disconnect the greater the addiction to all that offers short-term gratification.

We are seeing an explosion of substance abuse in those cultures worshipping the false gods of materialism. At the same time, we are seeing a dangerous tendency of fanatical addiction to fixed thoughts and beliefs that are threatening the foundations of democracy and free thought.

The loss of identity

The Ego-Mind confuses identity with thought and belief. It is a house built on a sandy foundation because a disconnect from the true self makes the person susceptible to holding onto a fixed belief or ideology. Identity is defined by the “others” who are wrong. An opposing idea thought or belief that threatens this false self-identity is perceived as a threat to all who we think we are. What is left of identity when we realize that the cultural icons that we have worshipped are emperors wearing no clothes? What is left of the ego when all the facts on the ground show us that we have been wrong all along?

The personality imprisoned by the Ego-Mind inevitably becomes physically and psychologically ever more rigid and inflexible to the point where it will not even hesitate to kill if it feels its identity crumbling away. It would rather die than admit that it was mistaken all along. The Ego-Mind has no inner substance, it knows no laughter, joy, or love.

All creativity that is dominated by the right side of the brain is stifled. But it is what makes us essentially human when we show a willingness to go with the flow of creativity in learning new things and developing our skill set. Soul authenticity is connected to the heart-mind. It serves a much greater wholeness than the self, the tribe, or the nation. The soul knows no attachment. It knows only unconditional love, joy, and laughter.

Connecting to the Heart-Mind

We will only survive as a species if we reconnect with this greater wholeness when we begin to realize that truth and belief happens in tolerance and interaction. We need to let go of the attachment to the opinionated head, the closed heart, and the defensive walls of what we believe to be identity.

Religious and political fanaticism is rooted in fear. Emotional stress and fear always begins with a thought. Fear and hate are never a reflection of truth. It comes from the lowest vibrational energy. When you take action in doing what you really love you begin to move beyond the fear.

There comes a point where you have to unlearn all the conditioning to become whole again by surrendering to trust. Experiential spirituality is essentially the practice of emptying the mind of all attachment and at the same time connecting to the inner room of the soul. It is surrendering to the magic of the moment and opening to the whispers of the universe.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 3, 2023 · 12:32 pm

Raising your vibrational energy for 2023

Starting another New Year you have all the possibility of rewriting your future by raising your vibrational energy to the level that attracts the circumstances, people, and opportunities to make this your best year yet.

It is a time to release attachments and addictions to associations, habits, thoughts, beliefs, and the negative self-talk that limits your power and keeps you at the level of the eagle that is scratching with the chickens, unaware that it can in reality soar high in the sky.

The Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl theorized that the absence of meaning and purpose in life inevitably leads to the pursuit of distracting “pleasures” and addictions. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, describes in his famous book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, the deep yearning of every individual to live a life of purpose and meaning whatever the external circumstances.

There is a deep yearning within every human being to be seen, recognized, and appreciated for who they are with their unique individual capabilities, strengths, and vulnerabilities.

Relationships

It is why relationships, the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis, are such an important key to happiness. There would be only a select group of very few people you would be willing to spend alone with on an island. The people you spend the most time with influence you in multiple and many subtle ways. You inevitably adopt the views, mannerisms, and beliefs of the people closest to you. Surround yourself with people who emanate positivity, joy, and kind-heartedness and you will become like them.

Health should be a top priority

If you are eating low-nutrient processed foods, and not getting enough sleep and exercise you will never raise your energy frequency. It’s a downward spiral that inevitably ends in poor mental and physical health. We are not only social beings but our metabolism is simply not built for a sedentary lifestyle. The best way of staying physically active is to find a set time – at best early in the morning – for a regular exercise routine. Start with just a 15-20 minute exercise sequence a day and then gradually build on it. Trying to do too much at once most often fails. Choose an exercise that you enjoy doing. For me, the most enjoyable part of the day is taking my dog for a walk in nature. Getting enough daylight sun on your body is very important because the body produces Vitamin D when exposed to sunlight. Vitamin D helps boost the immune system, improves sleep, and maintains a strong bone structure.

Attachments

Attachment to that which was and is no more can be like a huge dragnet pulling you away from seeing the opportunities, joys, and magic of the present moment. Thoughts dwelling on the past are mostly blurred by emotion and very seldom reflect the true events. The “monkey mind” constantly dances between the past and the future. The worrying mind will paint the worst possible scenario of all that could happen. The result: frozen paralysis.

Breathing into the present moment

By consciously focusing the mind on your breathing rhythm you will be instantly pulling yourself back to the present moment. Breathing meditations release tension and tightness in the body. Deep breathing through the nose releases nitric oxide which widens the blood vessels allowing for better transportation of oxygen to vital organs.

What information are you feeding your mind with?

The business model of most mass media is based on fanning the flames of negative emotion. Outlandish conspiracy theories hate tweets and irrelevant gossip are shared millions of times. Negative emotions however are a threat to your long-term health. Anger, resentment, fear, and anxiety keep you at the lowest possible vibrational frequency. It is that frequency that you are most easily manipulated because you are disconnected from your true self. Karl Marx described in 1843 in a celebrated dictum “religion is the opium of the people.” The place of old-school institutional religion has undoubtedly today been taken by the 24-7 drumbeat of mass media, influencing and manipulating the minds of hundreds of millions of people in an alternate reality. Information and knowledge cannot be compared to wisdom.

Gaining more wisdom

We are drowning in information and starving in wisdom. Some ways of gaining more wisdom:

  • Surround yourself with wise, intelligent people who offer a different perspective to the one you might have.
  • Read regularly and read books that have an impact on your life
  • Listen more and ask more questions, rather than talking

Wisdom has depth and nuance far removed from transitory mainstream superficiality. It can be developed and strengthened and is not limited to the wise and old. As Albert Einstein once said: “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | December 6, 2022 · 4:26 pm

And the cow jumped over …

Hey diddle diddle,
The Cat and the Fiddle,
The Cow jump’d over the Moon,
The little dog laugh’d to see such Craft,
And the Fork ran away with the Spoon

A 16th-century children’s rhyme has us believe that a cow managed to jump over the moon, filling children going through difficult times with happiness and delight.

We can just imagine a stubborn and bored cow steadfastly munching grass in the same meadow every day of every year until something happens that changes her entire life when she tries something that she has never done before.

Be the cow that jumps over the mind

There is something the champions in our world do very differently from most other people: They have learned that their habits, mindset, thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes determine the outcome of everything they do.

But most of us are caught in the treadmill of fixated beliefs and thought patterns. Albert Einstein refused to believe in the unpredictability of the world, saying:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

As we begin to end another year, you might be frustrated about all those unfulfilled wishes and dreams you had at the beginning of the year.

Most intentions and vision boards stay dreams, because they are not followed up by action. One method of counteracting such a trap is by reverse engineering. Set an exact time and date by when you want to achieve something and then go back in time to the present day with a clear plan of action by when you want to do what.

Let us say you want to do more for your physical fitness to boost your health and metabolism, and at the same time losing a certain number of kilograms. Your target could be walking 10,000 steps per day in half a year. If you start walking 10,000 steps on the first day you will soon lose motivation. Start with small steps: 1,000-2,000 just to give you a kickstart, and then gradually increase that day by day.

The same applies to saving or getting rid of debt. Start by paying off the smallest credit card debt. Once you have achieved that you will be motivated to pay off the next credit card and then the next until you are finally free of debt.

Stress puts you into tunnel vision

A major obstacle to fulfilling your dreams and getting rid of old habits is emotional stress. If your body is regularly flooded by stress hormones such as cortisol you are permanently in fight or flight mode. Your body is programmed to survival and you will be in tunnel vision. You will be stifled in your creativity, missing out on opportunities that the universe is laying out right in front of you.

Monitoring how you breathe is one of the best methods of stress control. A stressed emotional body will breath through the upper chest and throat. Place one hand on your heart and the other hand on your lower belly. Try inhaling and exhaling through the nose at least twelve times, feeling the exhaling sequence deep down into your lower belly. Already you will feel your body and mind relax.

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Head mind or heart mind

The stressed head mind is constantly dancing in the past and future. It is fear based and often rooted in trauma and fear going back to some distant past. Grievance culture on social media feeds on toxic emotions of the head mind. These are all those feelings of hate, greed, regret and judgment. The opposite is heart mind. In our digital and media-based culture, the word “love” is used all too commonly in everyday language. The common definition is an “intense feeling or affection” for a person or a thing. The ancient Greeks had four definitions for the different types of love: Philia, Eros, Storge and Agape. 

  • Philia – the type of love found in strong friendships
  • Eros – the love found in romantic relationships
  • Storge – the type of love found in close family bonds
  • Agape – the highest form of love that is selfless and unconditional

The cow has decided to jump over the mind to reach the highest form of love that lies deep within the heart within authentic soul nature, liberated from external conditioning and programming.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | November 14, 2022 · 5:23 pm

What fills the soul?

„It is veils that wrap past, present, and future time from your view. When the veils are withdrawn one can see all.“

—  Abu al-Hassan al-Kharaqani 963 – 1033

The birth of a newborn entering the world is of pure and bare innocence. But as the sages of old teach us the child grows older with layer upon layer in the form of conformity, unworthiness, fears, and insecurities covering the true self. The journey of life then proceeds in another process of unwinding and uncovering the layers of what is true soul nature.

Choosing a spiritual path, which comes often after an epiphany or a wake-up call, then becomes a process of peeling back the layers of programming, trauma, and limitations that have been holding you back from living your truth.

The 19th-century American teacher and philosopher Amos Bronson Alcott said “there are truths that shield themselves behind veils, and are best spoken by implication. Even the sun veils himself in his own rays to blind the gaze of the too curious starer.”

Unveiling the soul is a journey that cannot be fast-tracked. Each uncovering of a veil is preceded by a chapter that has to be lived into maturity.

The shifting of old paradigms

As consciousness expands the veils start thinning and you enter a higher vibrational energy. Old paradigms of self start shifting, and rigid belief systems start falling by the wayside. It is the necessary precondition to make room for the new.

Institutionalized religion most often wraps individuals into a cocoon of what to believe, and how to behave. The purpose of life is to discover your individual true soul path. The journey of life is a journey into BEING.

While religion constitutes a set of externally induced worship practices, beliefs, and ways of conduct, spirituality is experiential. It is a deep connectedness to the moment, opening the cracks to the soul and to something much higher than the self. The spiritual seeker is on a “pathless path” of self-discovery. There are no external rules. The seeker follows an inner call to spirit.

Your voice matters. The world needs you with all your unique abilities and creativity. You are a beautiful person. You have the choice and you are the captain of your soul.

It requires at times a stock-taking of what fills and nurtures your soul. What makes you happy and live a life of bliss?

Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on Pexels.com

Your relationships are key

One of the biggest tests is to let go of people who are not good for you. They are your secret enemies who are actually preventing you from peeling away the next layer. But you are afraid to lose them or are afraid that you will no longer be loved. Surround yourself with people who emanate positivity, who encourage, nurture, and feed your soul.

Your relationships are key. From the day you were born, you have been surrounded by parents, siblings, carers, and teachers who have molded you into who you are. As a child, you had no other choice but to conform to the norms and behaviors of those around you. But as you grew into puberty and adulthood you will have begun questioning and seeking your own identity.

  • Who am I?
  • Where do I come from and where am I going?
  • What is my soul’s purpose?

What fills and nurtures your soul is a very unique and individual process. But here are some guidelines.

  • It will be serving and in service of something higher than the self.
  • It is unconditional and liberated from the transactional.
  • It triggers within you unlimited creativity and joy.

Do you remember when you were a child before you were conditioned by external expectations? At a time when you were closely aligned to your true soul nature, you might vaguely recall what activity, relationship, and state of BEING elevated you into a high state of bliss and happiness. All these are clues that you can pursue in creating the matrix of the path to purpose and meaning.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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by | November 8, 2022 · 7:23 am

Inner stock-taking

As we near the end of another year it’s time for inner stock-taking: Was it worth doing what I was doing so far this year? Is it worth devoting my life to it? Where do I need to realign with my inner calling?

Daily habits can either lure you into a state of slumber or elevate you into utilizing all your talents and creativity. Setting aside time each day to practice positive habits is one of the most powerful tools in self-development.

The compound effect of daily habits has a huge impact on how your life is today. A daily routine to keep body, mind, and spirit healthy is key. An exercise routine coupled with meditation is extremely powerful.

A morning ritual sets the anchor for the day. What do I need to concentrate on doing today? What do I need to be aware of? What lower vibration, emotion, or energy from the night do I need to release. What is my positive mantra for the day?

But finding a good closure in the evening is just as important. What were my happy moments of the day? What can I truly be grateful for? What was the primary lesson that I need to record in my journal?

A more in-depth stock-taking of accomplishments, failures or even disappointments is recommended at least every quarter. A reflection with a mentor, guide, or coach can provide much clarity. A mentor is a sounding board and will help you refocus on what is truly important and help you remove the clutter that is no longer serving you.

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The biggest obstacles

There can be many obstacles coming your way that easily detract from the bigger picture and the goal-setting that you envisioned at the beginning of the year. Here are my biggest three.

Surroundings:

Are your surroundings in harmony with your calling? Is your room, apartment, or office cluttered with old things or stale energy from the past? The landscape of the house, village, town, city, or country you live in influences you in many subtle ways. The community, associations, and social conditions around you determine the vibrational field.

Associations:

Jim Rohn once said: “You‘re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Are those people you are around with having a positive, energizing influence on you, or are they pulling you down into a lower vibrational field with their negativity or narcissistic self-absorption. Who are the people that you would like in close proximity? Who are those that you need to limit contact with and those that you need to be keeping far away?

Distractions:

The pull of external distractions is probably the biggest obstacle of the three. Are social media, your mobile phone, Netflix, and all those things screaming for immediate gratification pulling you away from your mission in life, your most important objective, your dreams, your convictions, and your philosophy? Distractions can pull you into numerous directions where your thoughts are constantly dancing around in the past or the future.

Be kind to yourself

Even if you have failed to accomplish the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year and are in sadness and regret over missed opportunities or failures, it is important to remain in a loving and cherishing mindset to your inner self. Sabotaging yourself with negative self-talk can in extreme cases even pull you into a depression.

Be aware of the human condition that remains imperfect. You will have failures and disappointments. You will fall back into the trap of old habits. Life is happening all the time with its daily challenges and ups and downs. But the obstacles in the shape of people, events out of your control, unforeseen loss, and tragedy have shaped you into the person you are today and elevated you on a soul level.

You are on a journey of reconnecting to soul. You are much more than your physical body and its needs. As you walk the path of life you might deviate, and choose the wrong direction but ultimately set yourself onto the true path based on the learning experience you have had so far.

In a relaxed state of mind, in a space of solitude and contemplation, you will see things from a different perspective and be open to opportunity and growth.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | September 12, 2022 · 6:50 am

A life dedicated to service

The passing of Queen Elizabeth II has been mourned by millions of people, many feeling the same grief as if a close family member had died. Even anti-Royalists would have to concede that the Queen triggers something deep in the collective consciousness.

The death of a famous person sends a stark reminder of our own mortality. A collective outpouring of grief on a global level has a cathartic, healing effect. We are reminded over the loss of our own loved ones who are no more. The queen herself said in a message after the 9/11 terror attacks on September 11, 2001: “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

The public image of the rich, powerful and famous is carefully crafted by teams of professional public relations experts and seldom bears resemblance to the real lives of the persons portrayed.

Individual needs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations are projected onto persons in the public limelight. It is part of the marketing strategy to remain a talking point, with tidbits of information on the private lives being fed to the yellow press at timed intervals.

The projection of hopes and dreams

The result is that the addictive consumer of gossip press knows more about some distant movie star or royal family member than about their immediate family or friends.  Sadly, they become so engrossed with the life of a complete stranger that they forget to live their own life.

There seems to be almost a masochistic indulgence in the rise and fall of some famous rock legend, movie, or sports star. Nothing seems to provide the yellow press with so much “Schadenfreude” as to elevate a superstar to a “God” and then to do everything possible to oust them from the throne.

There are indeed rare historical examples of leaders who never set a foot wrong and through their life of service become a game-changer for generations afterward. Queen Elizabeth’s vow to serve was made in a famous speech in Cape Town on her 21st birthday.

Nelson Mandela committed his life to the struggle for a non-racial democratic  South Africa. Just prior to being sentenced to life imprisonment by the apartheid government in 1961, he said:

“The struggle is my life. I will continue fighting for freedom until the end of my days.”

Eleanor Roosevelt,  working tirelessly in the background of her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s presidency, campaigned for the rights of women in the workplace and the civil rights of African Americans.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give,” she said in one of her most famous quotes.

Spiritual leaders made the ultimate sacrifice

Many of the world’s greatest spiritual leaders gave the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus was crucified on the cross. During the Middle Ages the Mystics and religious leaders Giordano Bruno, Jan Hus, Joan of Arc, and Marguerite Porete were burned at the stake for heresy like tens of thousands of others.

In an age where personal material gratification and narcissism have become the norm, a “life dedicated to service” has become an almost archaic term from bygone times.

It is no coincidence that a culture of narcissism is interlinked to the epidemic rise in depression. Disappointment, grievance, and loss of self-esteem are inevitable when the drumbeat of the cultural message is all external. Meaning and value are defined according to “fame parameters” such as the number of social media followers, material possessions, and particular definitions of physical beauty.

An antidote to depression?

A life of service is one of the best antidotes to depression. Studies reveal that people doing volunteer work in their community and who have a life philosophy based on serving something that far outweighes their individual needs are more successful, happier, and contented human beings.

It is why some of the world’s wealthiest people have become the world’s greatest philanthropists, using their wealth as their tool of destiny for the betterment of society.

Analysis of three waves of data from the Americans’ Changing Lives data set (1986, 1989, 1994) reveals that volunteering lower depression levels, especially for those over the age of 65. An Irish study concluded that volunteer work and as a result social connectedness improved mental health. Helping others gives a sense of meaning and purpose.

Even the Royal Family has been skillful in crafting its public image to counter growing sentiment questioning the meaning of having a monarchy. Yet, it is obvious that like Lady Diana, the Queen has touched the hearts of millions of people with small, simple gestures of kindness and compassion.

The simple things and their compound effect ultimately make all the difference in building a better world, something the Queen had obviously understood and is the message that has resounded with so many during these past days.

In a Christmas broadcast in 2002 the Queen said: “Our modern world places such heavy demands on our time and attention that the need to remember our responsibilities to others is greater than ever.” 

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | September 5, 2022 · 12:16 pm

To be seen and to be heard

The other day I observed a couple in a hotel with a baby in a pram crying incessantly while the parents were seemingly unconcerned and tapping away on their smartphones. A basic human need to be seen and to be heard was not being met.

A cuddle and some comforting words by one of the parents would in my mind have soon stopped the child from crying. While babies can only make their needs felt in one way it doesn’t get more complicated when we get to be adults.

It’s not a big surprise that restaurants and other businesses in the hospitality industry are having great difficulty finding staff. Customers are all too often downright rude. It has become so bad that some establishments have had to put up signs appealing to customers to treat their staff with respect.

The grievance culture

We have a grievance culture fanned by political demagogues, certain media outlets, and social media. At the receiving end are often the people who least deserve it. I have enormous admiration for staff in hotels, airlines, and restaurant businesses who remain friendly and courteous in jobs that are badly paid and receive little to no recognition from customers and management.

Lack of recognition and validation from supervisors is also one of the main reasons why highly-skilled and trained staff are quitting their jobs or going into early retirement. Leaders often lack basic soft skills. It doesn’t take much to publicly praise a staff member for work well done. A kind word or compliment will instantly make a person light up and smile.

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Most employees are demotivated

It’s hardly a surprise that only 15 percent of the global workforce feel motivated in their jobs, according to a Gallup poll. This means that a staggering 85 percent of the workforce is unhappy in their job. Most employees suffer in silent misery counting the months and years when they can finally go into retirement and start living.

When an employee isn’t in agreement with a company’s mission and vision or is stifled in his creativity by micro-management the result is obvious. There will be a higher percentage of absenteeism, engagement, and work performance. It is estimated that in the United States alone over 450 billion dollars in losses are recorded annually due to unmotivated employees.

Leading by example

It doesn’t have to stay that way. Choosing the right leaders for key positions in a company can make a huge difference. Some of the key qualities of a good leader are:

  • Leading by example
  • Empathy
  • Accountability
  • The ability to express appreciation and gratitude

All too often however we have the typical narcissist chosen for leadership positions and even being elected to lead a country. With their self-centeredness, arrogance, and lack of empathy they can cause immense damage. They are simply incapable of expressing gratitude or giving recognition because they feel this might diminish their own glory.

But responsibility also starts with the individual taking responsibility. If you keep on blaming the government, your employer, your spouse, or your family for everything that has gone wrong in your life, you are not confronting the fear that is blocking you from making the necessary changes.

As Harvard professor and economist Clayton Christensen is quoted as saying: “Motivation is the catalyzing ingredient for every successful innovation.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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