Tag Archives: mental-health

by | February 15, 2022 · 7:20 am

Just another hill to climb

The chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

– Warren Buffet–

One of the worst chains of physical and mental habit is procrastination. Without action, there is no result.

We can dream, hope, and think our wishes will come true but they will only remain dreams if they are not followed up by action.

The pain of breaking the chains of habit are perceived as greater than the pain and the fear of facing an uncertain future. It is the reason we stay in dysfunctional relationships, fail to change an unfulfilling job, and refuse to change a diet that is ruining our health.

The universe will inevitably test your willpower

So often when we are on the brink of giving up in walking through that long, dark tunnel of obstacles, the breakthrough comes in the most unexpected ways. We climb a hill. We reach the top and then we find out that there is still another hill to climb. It is in such moments of despair that most people give up.

It is almost as if the universe is testing our willpower, creativity, and clarity of thought on the walk through life.

The yin and yang, the law of opposites, is an active process of life force, “qi” energy, swinging us from one extreme to the next in the never-ending cycle of growth and change.

Finding the balance between the extremes

The first light of dawn can only be seen in the darkness. Deep happiness is a feeling that is all the more intense after we have gone through the experience of sadness. They are both intense feelings. There is a fine line between love and hate, as William Shakespeare vividly portrays in “Romeo and Juliet.”

The moral of the story is that nothing good can come from blindly embracing fully one or the other.

In Act 1 Scene 1, Romeo is well aware of the close relationship between these two strong emotions:

“Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love.

Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate,

O anything of nothing first create!

O heavy lightness, serious vanity,

Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms,

Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,

Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!

This love feel I, that feel no love in this.”

When we fall in love we tend to see the other in a rose-colored hue of positivity. Love appears all-encompassing and we are blind to character traits or habits that are difficult to reconcile.

The disappointment comes later when we move in with each other and the fights start over who is responsible for the grocery shopping or cleaning the bathroom. Shattered hopes and dreams of what an idealized relationship never was or could have been is one of the main reasons for the breakup of so many relationships.

Extremism has its roots in fear and lack of grounding

Much of the animosity in the political divide comes from the same energy—embracing either the right or the left of the spectrum without seeing the nuances in between. The one is the shadow of the other. Both extremes have a shocking level of intolerance and are rooted in fundamentalism that prevents them from listening to each other.

The tendency toward extremist positions is rooted in uncertainty and fear from a lack of grounding.

Mastering the mundane to grow spiritually

The Chinese masters placed great emphasis on this aspect—not only as crucial in the martial arts but as a life philosophy.

Without a solid foundation in dealing with the mundane, any type of self-development will come to naught.

The ancient Jewish sages went further in teaching that if we fail to master the normal daily activities such as looking after our health, family relationships, and livelihood, we cannot hope to advance to higher spiritual experience.

Thus, a good portion of life in the monastery is spent in cleaning, gardening, and other menial chores. It is not only a practice in humility but stems from the knowledge that mastering the mundane is the gateway to loftier spheres.

Physical exercise and the mindful carrying out of mundane chores are excellent for grounding. If your work is mostly in a sitting position in an office, it is crucial to use breaks for walking or another low-impact exercise.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | February 8, 2022 · 10:10 am

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

We are living in an age where our minds are drowning in information and thirsting for wisdom. Having worked in the media industry for most of my life I am horrified at how much the public discourse has degenerated into banal superficialities feeding on the exchange of toxic emotions.

What you are feeding your mind with you become. It has become more important than ever to stand guard at the doorway of your mind. A video or a statement that you coincidentally read while thumbing through your smartphone can trigger all sorts of emotions that might spoil the rest of your day.

If you are reading this you are probably one of the few people out there reflecting on what is happening collectively to our societies. Of course, there will always be conflict and social disruptions. It is part of the human condition. We are imperfect beings. But we also have the power of choice.

Fanatical fringe groups are hoarding the stage

My impression is that the dark side of humanity is being amplified manifold by the technical means at our disposal. Fanatical fringe groups and really bad people are spending most of their time bullying other human beings with hate mail. Social media is doing little to control this for a simple reason: The more emotionally charged a topic, the more clicks and the more advertising revenue.

You might think you are in control of what information you are feeding your mind with but most people are not. The social media and search engine algorithms are monitoring your usage and calculate automatically what posts you are most likely to read. In this way, they are shaping how you think.

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Beliefs and opinions are being reaffirmed

Beliefs and opinions are constantly being reaffirmed in different realities and information bubbles. Families, friendships, communities, and congregations are breaking apart along these dividing lines.

We need a pushback from the quiet majority, those rational thoughtful people who are firmly grounded against these toxic emotional hooks. It starts with the question:

Is this information expanding my energy frequency or diminishing my energy frequency? Is the information helping me to grow and positively develop my full potential?

A common misconception is that knowledge, information, and education equal wisdom. How many so-called intelligent people refuse to learn from their own mistakes, have a fixed mindset, refuse to reflect on their actions or admit that they were betting all the time on the wrong horse.

The power of your associations

Innate knowledge born from the body of experience is wisdom. It is trusting your intuition and higher consciousness. If you surround yourself with wise friends, train your mind with spiritual books, and seek guidance from wise persons you will become wise.

It is also essential to practice self-care by setting firm boundaries to people, associations, and external influences that are depleting body, mind, and soul. Self-care is looking after your body, realigning with your soul by taking time out for silence and contemplation.

Choosing such a path will fill your life with much more happiness, and contentment because you are building the bridge to soul connection. Actions are directed at serving the bigger whole as opposed to seeking individual gratification. As the wise Greek philosopher, Aristotle noted wisdom begins by getting to know your true self.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 25, 2022 · 8:24 am

The biggest obstacle to personal growth

“Sometimes success needs interruption to regain focus and shake off complacency”

– Lennox Lewis-

If there is one positive outcome of the pandemic it is that a growing number of people are seeking spiritual meaning and truth with the specter of death serving as a daily reminder of the impermanence of life.

A culture, feeding on the need for immediate gratification and the addiction to more of everything, is inherently disconnected from the spiritual. Complacency and familiarization are the enemy of spiritual growth and raised consciousness.

Success inevitably breeds complacency

It is a dangerous time when the ego shines in its glory and becomes immune to any type of criticism or alternative suggestion. I was recently told the story of a very successful young stockbroker who earned millions but then through a string of bad decisions ended up broke, losing his wife, home, Ferrari sports car, and all the other trappings of wealth. He had failed to foresee market changes, hear the warnings, and adapt accordingly.

Familiarization and relationship decay

In relationships, we fall into the trap of familiarization where we become blind to the positive attributes of our partner and take everything for granted. There is that initial high in the romantic phase where everything is seen through rosy eyes. Then reality starts to set in. The nuances of change, beauty, and preciousness are being taken for granted. A negative cloud of boredom, unhappiness, and familiar routine stifles all creativity and growth. Both partners fail to adapt to inevitable changes in personal needs each blaming the other for their unhappiness.

We take friends, family, colleagues, and long-term business partners for granted, forgetting to give them the validation that every human being yearns for until they are no longer there and we ask ourselves why we didn’t find the time to show them mindful appreciation.

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What comes after reaching the pinnacle of success?

We see it time and again with highly successful athletes, movie stars, politicians, and entrepreneurs. Once they have reached the pinnacle of success it doesn’t get any better. Popstar Michael Jackson became deeply unhappy, losing his vast fortune when he realized that he would never again repeat the success of his single “Thriller” that topped the charts in 13 countries and sold more than seven million copies in the US alone.

Life purpose and meaning change several times during a lifetime. Impermanence is the seed that is sown by the universe to keep us inflow and to prevent us from falling into the trap of complacency that is defined as a feeling of smugness or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.

It is our destiny to constantly grow, adapt, change, and learn to be alert and curious

It is a recipe for unhappiness when you start losing your curiosity and the willingness to learn. We are living in an age when we have all the knowledge of the world at our fingertips. Isn’t it time to start a new hobby, learn a new language, or build something? Check out even simple courses of learning that you can download for a cheap fee here.

How many people that you know are saving all their energy for the day when they retire and can finally start living the life of their dreams. When the day comes they discover that they have all the time chased an illusion. The body decides that it is no longer needed and succumbs to illness and decay.

The biggest myth about our daily lives of “stressful living” is that stress is inherently bad. A more or less permanent emotional and physical stress situation indeed is very unhealthy and will inevitably lead to serious mental and physical illness.

But when we are in a healthy sprint and recovery cycle short bouts of stress trigger those energies that we need to overcome a challenge. We sometimes need that extra burst of adrenaline to score a goal and to focus all our intention on a victory.

Facing a global challenge such as the pandemic is also a huge chance for humanity to grow both on a collective and individual level. Our world will never be the same again. The great Buddhist master of mindfulness teaching Thich Nhat Hanh, who died last week at the age of 95, once said: “It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | January 3, 2022 · 12:31 pm

Managing your life with clear intention

It’s the time of year again when wishes are expressed and ambitious goals are set but when looking back at the same time the previous year. How many of those goals did you realistically achieve? Most New Year intentions are scuttled before the month of January is over.

Here is how you can better manage your goals and set out a clear plan of action for the coming months without falling into the typical traps.

All those “positive-thinking” self-help books are telling you to dream big and that nothing is impossible. Visualize your perfect life send the message out to the universe and voila your wishes shall be fulfilled. The disappointment is big when reality catches up. Sometimes also the dream come true can turn out to be a nightmare if it is not in sync with your soul purpose.

There are several steps that you can follow in better managing your life instead of blaming everyone from the government to your boss, spouse, or colleagues for being responsible for your dire situation.

Create a plan of action

Without a clear plan of action e.g. to exercise daily at a certain time to reduce weight or to set aside a certain amount in a savings plan per month, your intention will remain vague and merely a wish. See every small step of the plan of action as building the first bridge of many bridges toward what will one day manifest into that big dream.

Keep it simple and realistic

When writing down your goals you have to look at the baseline from where you are coming from. Is the goal a realistic objective for the coming months? Is it really achievable? Is the timeline realistic? If you set the goalposts too high you will soon get frustrated and surrender into self-blame and self-pity.

Clarify your intention

You need to be very clear on why you want something or why you want to achieve a certain goal. Do you want to earn a million dollars a year just to impress the nasty neighbor across the road? Or do you need more money to leave a positive footprint for the greater good? Do you want to lose weight to impress others or because you want to lead a healthier life so that you can see your grandchildren grow up?

Intention and soul purpose

Every individual has a unique purpose and destiny. The more connected you become to your soul through meditation or taking time out for silence or deep walking in nature the more you will become aware that the universe or God is always there, leading, protecting, and guiding you. We as a society have become so indoctrinated by false images that we have become disconnected from real BEING. It is mostly about accumulating external glitter. Real happiness comes from within. Connection to authenticity manifests in all other areas of life such as family, relationships, interaction with the world, and all it has to offer.

As a regular subscriber to my Blog you can download my FREE vision board that will help you map out your goals and intentions for the coming months.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | December 30, 2021 · 6:02 pm

Recasting yourself for 2022

“In every change, in every falling leaf, there is some pain, some beauty. And that’s the way new leaves grow.”
― Amit Ray

The past two years have been a rough ride for many people. Many of us no doubt went into the year thinking the pandemic would soon be over. It seems now, however, that we will just have to learn to live different lives than we had envisioned.

One of the laws of life is unpredictability. At the same time our habits, fears, and mental resilience, in essence, determine how we deal with unexpected changes and challenges.

It is when the rug is pulled from your feet when the familiar map disappears when you are forced out of home territory that the universe is also offering you the greatest opportunity to reframe and redefine yourself.

How did you start the previous year?

Life is never a linear trajectory. How you look at things is a matter of mindset and perspective. How about looking back at the beginning of the old year and what thoughts you had then. Did you have any resolutions on how you would approach the year? Did those resolutions come to fruition? In fact, studies show that most people give up on their resolutions before the month of January has even ended.

A much better way of starting the New Year is by reflecting on the blessings of the past year. What were those five best moments and successes you had? Looking back will help you pick up on the positive lessons you learned and what positive habits you can build on. 

  • What three key lessons did I learn during the past twelve months?
  • What has to be accepted that cannot be changed?
  • What old relationships, concepts, and ideas do I have to liberate myself from?
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Starting a daily gratitude ritual

Numerous studies show that people who have a daily gratitude practice and who count their blessings are happier in their lives. It shifts your attention from what is negative to what is positive in your life.

There are two exercises you could do in making the start of the year more positive. Start and end your day with a gratitude ritual. What three major positive experiences, meetings, or insights did I have during the past 24 hours?

We instinctively know that living a more fulfilled and happier life is linked to what habits we pursue. This is why we like to clean the slate and start the New Year with a positive outlook. But there are two common mistakes why most people give up on their good intentions:

  • The plan is too ambitious and unrealistic. A long list of all the things you want to change will leave you with nothing done. Keep what you want to change short, simple and realistic. If you want to get out of debt. Start by putting a small amount of money onto a savings account every month and don’t touch it. If you want to exercise more, start with a short ten-minute walk instead of trying to do a half hour every day. Improve on your diet and avoid all white sugars as a first start. Small changes in your daily routine, done every day of every week and every month bring about the big changes.
  • Negative self-talk will inevitably scuttle all your good intentions. How you talk to yourself has an immense influence. “I will never be able to do this?” “I’m not good at this.” “I was just born fat and ugly.” “Life is just the way it is and I just have to bear with it.” Try to turn the conversation around. “What can I learn from this?” “I love and accept myself unconditionally.” “I am blessed, everything is good and will turn out fine in the end.”

Change comes with small steps

Changing your set routines and habits starts with small steps. A good way of tricking the mind into doing something positive is by “piggybacking” a positive habit with an existing habit. If you have to take the dog out for a walk anyway, try taking a different route next time and walking a little longer. Or park the car some distance away from your workplace so that you are forced to do that extra walking. Replace a negative thought with a positive thought. Try breaking typical routines like reading a chapter in a good self-help book instead of spending the evening watching Netflix.

Highly successful people never rest on their laurels. They are continuously refining their self-development, knowledge, associations, physical and mental well-being. It is in finding a true purpose that we become who we are meant to be from the day we were born. Quiet moments of introspection, meditation, and deep walking in nature are crucial for realignment and aligning your intentions with the intentions of the universe.

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Positive relationships

The pandemic has spotlighted how important our close relationships and network of supportive people can be during a time of crisis. Everything becomes so much easier if we are not “in it alone”. We are social beings. It is part of our DNA to feel seen, heard, and loved by those people most important in our life. If you are surrounded by positive-minded, uplifting people your stress resilience will be so much higher than that person who locks himself in a room and blames everyone else in the world for his misery. Good relationships are nurtured by reciprocity. If you are having trouble building friendships and maintaining long-term relationships, you need to ask yourself: What can I change in my behavior and thought patterns to draw the people into my life who do me good?

Life is a roller-coaster of constant change. We move through stages of joy, happiness, melancholy sadness, or frustration. The human story is marked by loss, failure, and setback. But is also one of joy, happiness, and celebration of the beauty that is life. It is the law of the yin and yang. If you are having a hard time at this point in your life you can be assured that this too will pass.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | November 22, 2021 · 7:45 pm

When nature moves closer

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

—Lao Tzu

Relationship to the self defines the relationship to nature. For too long we as humans have defined ourselves as a separate entity to the natural world that needed to be controlled, exploited, and subjugated. Gradually the realization is dawning that nature is an expression of the divine and that we are an integral part of the whole.

Feeling, breathing, and aligning with nature during a deep walking experience is one of the most underrated and best forms of healing, especially when you might be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by all the negativity of the external world.

Aligning and healing with the help of nature

Some years ago I had a profound experience on one of my pilgrimage walks on the Camino de Santiago in northwestern Spain. I started the walk feeling exhausted and stressed out. Inevitably my thoughts would wander back to the daily treadmill of life.

Then, in the following days, as I found my natural walking rhythm I noticed nature coming closer. I was starting to smell the grasses and herbs along the path. Birds would fly close by, stray dogs would follow me for part of the way. On the mountain tops of the Camino Primitivo giant vultures sat motionless a mere two arms lengths away.

I started practicing going in sync with my surroundings by attuning my senses to one element in nature at a time. It would either be the butterflies dancing ahead of me, the calming sound of a creek nearby or just feeling the sensation of a breeze against my skin.

Immersing in nature in this way, I found, has an enormously regenerative and calming effect on all senses. I practice these exercises in nature now as often as I can, having the added benefit of living on a beautiful island in the Mediterranean.

Science confirms the positive effects of the green and blue spaces

Several scientific studies have meanwhile confirmed that the connection with the blue and green spaces in nature has many positive physical and psychological effects. Humans are naturally drawn to a beautiful river or lake.

The Japanese practice of shinrin yoku, or Forest Bathing, has been proven to reduce stress hormone levels and lower heart rate and blood pressure. Trees and plants emit substances called phytoncides which have been found to boost the immune system. 

Studies by Qing Li, a Japanese scientist who has been carrying out shinrin yoku research for many years, showed that Forest Bathing increases the Natural Killer cell activity in people, with at least some of this effect coming from phytoncides.

David Strayer, a psychology professor at the University of Utah, conducted a study in which participants saw a 50 percent improvement in creative problem solving after only three days immersed in nature with all access to modern technology removed.

We are very much a species that has lost its way, having become disconnected from nature while emphasizing technological advancement. It has become more pronounced in recent years with the addiction to digital gadgets with the average person in the United States spending about ten hours a day glued to a computer, smartphone, or television screen.

The sages of old, the Mystics and Shamans, have all tought us that nature offers so many important lessons if we would only stop and listen. Every significant place and and animal has a story and a legend. By reconnecting with nature we return to ancient wisdom, to a place of solitude deep inside – the power of the present moment.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | November 16, 2021 · 7:33 am

The monkey in a cage

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ”
― Simone Weil

Much of what I’m seeing and hearing in the public discourse reminds me of how trappers in the wild catch a monkey. All it takes is a small cage with a bunch of bananas inside. The monkey will grab the tasty treat through a hole in the cage. But when trying to pull out the banana the hole is too small. The monkey will refuse to let go of the banana. Even with a real threat, the hunter, coming closer the monkey will still refuse to let go and is captured.

It is much the same with fixated beliefs, ideologies, and political persuasions. I read the other day a report of Covid patients still refusing to believe they had been infected with the virus while dying in a hospital intensive care unit. Everybody is entitled to an opinion. But if you are unable to adapt, change or review your opinion in the light of new evidence or facts you are also refusing to grow and elevate your consciousness.

So many minds, it appears are captured by the drumbeat of information silos where we are seeing debate marked by an extremely negative and divisive narrative. During these times it has become more important than ever to remain aligned with that inner spark of peace and beauty.

How we speak and what we speak about is a reflection of our thoughts. The actions we take are a reflection of how connected we are to the heart mind and soul nature. Evil thoughts and evil actions inevitably lead to evil fortune.

The wisdom of the ancient Mystics can be a good guideline. Basic human nature has not changed much over the centuries. There will always be a segment of people who don’t give any regard to the outcome of their actions. Meister Eckhart, the great Dominican friar of the early fourteenth century, warned against those whose “sole concern is how to gain honors, wealth and pleasure.”

These people, according to Eckart, are those who lack all sense of humility by “running in front of God.” Inevitably their lives will be haunted by what they call bad luck or a bad hand. They will be blaming God, fate, people different from themselves, and basically everyone for what has gone wrong in their lives. They are filled with hate, resentment, and anger. They are the malignant narcissists of our age who seek only personal validation and glory. They will never change their opinion and are captured by attachment.

Letting go of attachments

Attachment can be defined as a strong emotional bond to a person, thing, or cause. In extreme cases, it can be closely intertwined with personal perception and identity.

According to Eckart, there are those “imperfect” people who “walk close by God”, wishing to lead God rather than be led by him. They would like God’s will to be their will. We are seeing much of this behavior in religious and political fundamentalism. They are idealists at heart believing that the world would be an entirely different place if a certain ideology. belief or behavior is adhered to.

The “perfect” ones bow to humility in following God on a path that can also be one of hardship and suffering but ultimately leads to a life of bliss and happiness, according to Eckardt. It is what the Buddhists call living a life liberated from all forms of attachment.

It can also be understood as finding the connection to the inner spark of truth. Joy is found in the truth which all desire that is the pursuit of God’s will, according to Eckart. The Mystic describes walking the path of truth and pursuing the will of God as “an ardent desire” where we are “illuminated and captivated by the depth of our being.” Walking behind is described as “sinking into the essences” of all things.

Surrendering to a higher will instead of trying to impose your will is key to effective visualization practice. If desire becomes attachment you will be held captive to procrastination and be closing the door to the flow of the Tao or the universal energy. This is at the root of much of the unhappiness we are seeing around us. Attachment prevents the view from a different perspective where often the solution lies. You have to let go of everything “to win everything.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | November 15, 2021 · 11:59 am

Is grievance culture contaminating your life?

“Maturity is when you stop complaining and making excuses in your life; you realize everything that happens in life is a result of the previous choice you’ve made and start making new choices to change your life.”― Roy T. Bennett

One of the biggest obstacles toward improving your vibrational energy, your mental health and your general sense of wellbeing is falling prey to the grievance culture currently appearing to dominate the public narrative.

The inner dialogue is primarily focused on some perceived external enemy responsible for all that has gone wrong in your life. You have abdicated responsibility for your past choices and actions. Everything that has gone wrong in your life is the responsibility of …

Entire countries and cultures can become obsessed with grievance culture, sometimes based on historical events or tragedies going back centuries. How far do we have to go back to historical comparisons or history? The nations of the European Union have fought bitter wars with each other for generations, finally realizing that peaceful, mutual cooperation is more beneficial for all.

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Sadly in my home country, South Africa, “colonialism” seems to serve as an excuse for everything that is going wrong such as widespread government maladministration and corruption. This does not justify by any means British imperialism. My grandfather fought against the British in the Boer war and was held by the British as a prisoner of war on the island of St. Helena. It would be just as stupid comparing today’s Britain to the Britain of 1901 as comparing modern Germany to the Nazi Germany of the 1930s.

The loudhailers of grievance culture

Yet, the virus of grievance culture seems to infect a growing number of ordinary, educated people seeking simple answers to complex problems. Demagogues and political extremism is on the rise in most countries. The common denominator is that these groupings are mostly led by cult-like figureheads who become the loudhailers of grievance.

Russian President Vladimir Putin is obsessed with grievance as is former U.S. president Donald Trump. Putin has constantly spun the tale of the West’s responsibility for the collapse of the Soviet Union, the economic decline during the post-Soviet era, and Russia’s victimhood. Trump is obsessed with a “stolen election”, and a similar victimhood of a “deep state” conspiring against him.

Learning from the ancient Mystics

Once caught in the maelstrom of grievance culture all sense of humility and self-responsibility is lost. As the great 13th-century Mystic Meister Eckart wrote in one of his sermon’s. It is “running in front of God”. It is falling prey to the Ego-Mind.

The Ego-Mind will be blaming God, fate, people different from themselves, and basically everyone for what has gone wrong in their lives. They are filled with hate, resentment, and anger. They are the malignant narcissists of our age who seek only personal validation and glory. They will never change their opinion and are captured by attachment.

Attachment can be defined as a strong emotional bond to a person, thing, or cause. In extreme cases, it can be closely intertwined with personal perception and identity.

According to Eckart, there are those “imperfect” people who “walk close by God”, wishing to lead God rather than be led by him. They would like God’s will to be their will. We are seeing much of this behavior in religious and political fundamentalism. They are idealists at heart believing that the world would be an entirely different place if a certain ideology. belief or behavior is adhered to.

Joy is found in truth and humility

The “perfect” ones bow to humility in following God on a path that can also be one of hardship and suffering but ultimately leads to a life of bliss and happiness, according to Eckardt. It is what the Buddhists call living a life liberated from all forms of attachment.

It can also be understood as finding the connection to the inner spark of truth. Joy is found in the truth and the pursuit of God’s will, according to Eckart. The Mystic describes walking the path of truth and pursuing the will of God as “an ardent desire” where we are “illuminated and captivated by the depth of our being.” Walking behind is described as “sinking into the essences” of all things.

If you find yourself in the dark hole of complaining about everything wroing in your life or about the weather, politics, your employer or your spouse, then pause and take a deep breath. Take that emotional shift by changing your thought pattern.

You are lucky to be alive. If you are reading this you probably belong to a small group of humanity with running water, electricity, an internet connection, food and a fairly good roof over your head. You probably would also be living in a democracy free to express your opinions and beliefs. You can change your mindset in an instant and decide to take responsibility for every thought, and action you take from this moment onward. It is truly liberating to be responsible for your own life.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | October 12, 2021 · 9:52 am

Is social media controlling your life?

“The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.” – Irene C. Kassorla

You might think that you are in control of what you think, believe and purchase each day but our hurried modern lives are being manipulated in a big way and it’s time to seize back control.

The latest facebook-scandal, with former employee Frances Haugen testifying before a U.S. Senate Committee, has revealed the irresponsibility with which social media is using algorithms to spread misinformation and incite political violence.

Social media can be a wonderful tool to connect with old friends, and family living in faraway places of the world. But what we are hearing in the testimony is that these big tech companies know more about human nature and about your individual life, your needs, wishes and desires than you probably know yourself.

If something is for free like the use of social media then there is a price attached. These companies are there to make a profit and they need your personal data to sell to advertisers. The more clicks and shares, the more revenue for the advertiser on the same page.

This means that the loud, angry voices of outlandish lies and misinformation are getting the most attention. They have occupied the big stage while the majority of calm and reasonable voices are being drowned out. It creates a distortion of reality and what our world really looks like. While printed media bears responsibility and is liable for the content it disseminates, social media has been left off the hook by legislation. That really needs to change.

Multiple studies are in fact showing that too much time spent on social media affects mental health, especially those of young adolescents. It can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy of appearance, loneliness, depression and anxiety.

What you feed your mind with you become

Divisive hate speech, and bullying has always been a dark side of humanity. Social media however is amplifying such dysfunctional behavior on a global level. Scientists have found a correlation between heart disease and negative emotions expressed in language on Twitter, according to a major study.

What friends you choose, what social media feeds you look at and what you read gradually shape you into the person who you are today. You might think that you are in control but you are not. Countless digital media companies are competing for your attention. They have some of the world’s best social scientists and psychologists in their employment and know how to prey on human needs and weaknesses.

We all have the need to be seen, to be heard and to be understood. And, we especially want to belong to a tribe that thinks, feels and talks the same language.

If you happen to come across scientific data or information that might contradict what you think you believe in, you might become confused and then angry. Computer algorithms inevitably lead to opinions becoming cemented in separate information silos. People who see each other from different reality perspectives cannot talk or listen to each other anymore.

Time to seize back control

I have for some time blocked those “friends” on social media that have a tendency to always post negative news or are spreading misinformation. Be careful who you invite into your living room and who leaves big footprints of dirt on your lovely white carpet.

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You need to stand guard at the doorway of your mind.

I would like to make a proposal for this week. Why not exclusively post just positive and uplifting information on social media for the next seven days? Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can this information uplift, heal and boost the energy level of a fellow human being?
  • Is the information of a quality that it can elevate human consciousness in a positive way?
  • Will it make you laugh and enjoy the moment?

Lets make our voices heard in a positive way and let the world know that the majority of humanity is not divisive, angry and violent but kind, empathic, calm and reasonable.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | October 5, 2021 · 6:34 am

Bridging the growing gender divide

There is false of Aristotelian logic, which is so much the basis of Christianity, and to some extent, Judaism in the west. Too rational, too logical, too masculine, chauvinistic, male dominated, head over heart, mind over body, heaven different than earth and so on, rather than yin/yang, inter-being, interwoven, inseparably.— Surya Das

One of the burning issues of our time is the big gender divide as we transition from centuries of male dominance toward more gender equality. There is a real crisis of mentally unstable boys growing up to be unhealthy men while girls seem to crush it at every level from education to job performance.

Just a brief look at some of the statistics reveal some staggering figures. More than nine times as many men compared to women at some point spent time in prison in the United States with men accounting for more than 80 per cent of persons arrested for violent crime. Women have lower arrest rates for all categories of crime except prostitution in almost every country in the world.

Women are at the forefront in the self-development industry and the elevation of awakened consciousness. They are indeed the better half of humanity showing more caring responsibility, empathy, creativity and intuition. In leadership positions their social skillset emphasizes collaboration, rather than the male notion of destroying a competitor.

But is the solution to our global problems the reversal of male dominance with female dominance? There are a lot of males out there feeling uneasy about some of the emanations from the feminist movement. Men are feeling left behind by women on all levels but they just won’t admit it and are resisting to do real inner, reflective work, still perceiving it as a weakness rather than a strength.

The root cause appears to be that there are far too many fathers who have been exceptionally bad role models for their sons and daughters over generations. It is the “absent-father-syndrome” that is cause for many mental problems.

Several studies show that boys growing up without their biological father often feel deserted, insecure, fearful and anxious. A stepfather can never replace that void created by the absent father. I have seen the hurt in a stepchild when a father refuses to engage.

Among the 25 most cited school massacres in the United States, two thirds were committed by boys from broken or fatherless homes! Criminologists Michael Gottfredson and Travis Hirschi, found the absence of fathers to be one of the “most powerful predictors of crimes .” Fathers serve as role models for their sons who maintain authority and discipline, thereby helping them develop self-control and empathy toward others, key character traits lacking in violent youth.

According to a UNICEF report “school-aged children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie. Overall, they were far more likely to exhibit prosocial behavior.”

While women seek help when they experience mental health problems such as anxiety or fear, men often retreat into typical male dysfunctional behavior such as addiction, political and religious extremism or violent crime. It seems to be completely overlooked in the political narrative that men and masculinity feature prominently in both past and present populist movements.

What is the solution?

First and foremost fathers need to step-up and take responsibility for their children. Abdicating and delegating responsibility solely to motherhood is archaic and stems from a medieval patriarch mindset. A positive father-figurehead understands the art of integrating female caring responsibility, empathy, and intuition with the positive male features such as structure, protection, discipline and authority.

As humanity moves toward the elevation of consciousness it is crucial that we transmute the typical gender narrative to another level.

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Integrating the feminine and the masculine

Integrating the feminine and the masculine aspects of personality is the challenge both on a personal and collective level. The great Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung Jung describes the two primary archetypes of the unconscious mind: The “animus” is unconscious masculine side of a woman, and the anima as the unconscious feminine side of a man, each transcending the personal psyche.

Greek philosophy which found its way into the tenets of Christianity believe that humans are fundamentally flawed and wounded.

Our cultural indoctrination pronounces that finding that “soul mate” will heal that inner wound or void. Disappointment and relationship meltdown is inevitable. It is an illusion and we should never delegate or make our happiness conditional to the behavior of another person. Only the awakened self can heal that wound through the integration of the “shadow”, as Jung puts it.

How do we integrate that “soul mate” within? There is a beautiful image evoked by Plato who describes his idea of “soul mates” as the one longing for the other half “and so they would throw their arms about each other, weaving themselves together, wanting to grow together.”

The encounter, study and integration of the unconscious mind into the mature personality is key to becoming fully human. As a humanity we need to fully embrace our female and male traits. It is that which has the potential to catapult us toward a happier future, giving us that valuable skillset to confront the challenges ahead.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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