Tag Archives: mind

by | December 9, 2024 · 9:11 am

When Faith Turns Toxic: The Spiritual Journey

The rebirth of Paris’s Notre-Dame Cathedral, five years after a devastating fire, serves as a striking beacon of hope during a time marked by division, uncertainty, and fear. It is a powerful testament to what humanity can achieve when united in a shared purpose.

Europe’s great cathedrals, such as Chartres and Notre-Dame, were more than architectural marvels. They were profound expressions of faith, creativity, and communal spirit. These towering structures, built to reflect heavenly glory, continue to inspire awe and remind us of the enduring power of collective endeavor.

What unites people around a common purpose fosters trust and transcends individual interests. For millennia, religious rituals and practices have served this unifying function, binding communities to shared values, goals, and principles. Religion has also provided a framework for understanding suffering and adversity, offering solace and resilience in times of need.

Religion and the sense of belonging

As inherently social beings, humans find strength in connection. Participating in religious ceremonies has historically reinforced a sense of belonging and strengthened the social fabric of communities. Modern studies affirm this, linking faith and religious involvement to lower levels of depression and anxiety, underscoring the vital role of shared spirituality in nurturing mental and emotional well-being.

Hill and Pargament (2003) concluded that spirituality fosters resilience by enhancing hope and optimism, even in highly stressful situations.

But paradoxically the affiliation to a specific religion, community or faith often strengthens the divide between “them and us”. Religion can bring out the best and the worst in humanity. Friendships, humanity and service may be restricted to the “in group” while those outside the group were often villified and dehumanized.

In my recent podcast on LivingtoBE, I discussed with psychologist Katie Turner, on when spirituality or religion becomes toxic and in some cases cause long-lasting trauma.

  • When clergy, therapists or spiritual teachers have not done the the self-work by transmuting their own shadows they will project these on their followers.
  • Some religious beliefs discourage seeking professional help, claiming that prayer or faith alone should suffice.
  • Religion is then abused as a tool of manipulation, coercion, control and exclusion. Overemphasis on sin, punishment, or unachievable standards of moral purity can lead to chronic guilt and shame.
  • Toxic religion often revolves around charismatic leaders who demand absolute loyalty and discourage critical thinking or questioning.

When members of a religious community feel compelled to suppress their individuality, religion can even alienate them from their authentic spiritual path and soul purpose.

Religious platitudes may hinder personal growth and self-discovery, with fixed beliefs locking individuals into a singular worldview obstructing the evolution of spiritual awareness and consciousness.

What Can Help?

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear limits on how much influence religion exerts over your life and well-being.
  • Seek Broader Perspectives: Explore spiritual practices and belief systems that prioritize love, tolerance, acceptance, and personal growth.
  • Consider Professional Support: Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space for healing from spiritual abuse or the effects of toxic religious experiences.

At its best, religion offers sanctuary, love, and compassion during times of need. At its worst, it can inflict profound physical and emotional harm. Cultivating a grounded connection to your own intuitive senses and spiritual needs will help you discern and navigate the difference, empowering you to recognize and avoid toxic expressions of faith.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | November 27, 2024 · 2:50 pm

Understanding Loneliness vs. Solitude

Loneliness and solitude are often confused, but they are fundamentally different. Loneliness is not merely the absence of human relationships. It reflects a deeper sense of inner emptiness, signifying a lack of meaning and a disconnect from purpose.

Loneliness is a place of pain where the void often manifests in addictions, especially to external distractions that ultimately create more suffering.

Solitude is an intentional choice

Solitude, on the other hand, is the intentional choice to spend time alone. It is a self-created space for recalibration and mental detox.

In solitude, the mind is given the opportunity to quiet itself, creating a fertile ground for personal growth, self-discovery, and creativity.

While loneliness drains, solitude replenishes.

Meditation, yoga, tai chi, and deep walking in nature are only some of the useful tools in training the monkey mind to be really present and appreciative of the magic of the moment.

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But what if the pain is so deep that every moment alone is a place of torture?

Anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a loved one, the trauma of a break-up or divorce, financial disaster, the loss of a job or a life-threatening diagnosis will know that during such moments you need more than ever stable relationships and community to help navigate the crisis. Sometimes it is just important for another being to be present, holding a hand in silent compassion.

Human connection is fundamental

Human connection is fundamental to your well-being. It’s easier to transform pain when you feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by others. Yet, modern society’s focus on individualism—liberty, personal expression, and the pursuit of a singular life purpose—has often come at the expense of community.

 A study on “Social Relationships and Health” by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton (published in PLoS Medicine, 2010) revealed that that loneliness and social isolation significantly increase the risk of poor mental health and mortality. On the other hand the effects of social connections on health were found to be comparable to or greater than well-known risk factors such as smoking cessation, physical activity, and obesity management.

As social beings, we thrive in connection and falter in isolation, both mentally and physically. Yet, we find ourselves increasingly divided into opposing camps of “us” versus “them.” Strong religious and political ideologies—sometimes addictive in their nature—further deepen these divides, often fueled by external influences with hidden agendas. The rise of religious orthodoxy and political extremism underscores this growing fragmentation, creating artificial “tribal” communities that exclude rather than include.

The innate universal human quality for compassion, is frequently sacrificed on the altar of rigid beliefs and superficial differences. They are amplified by external forces, clouding the ability to see a shared humanity.

Yet there is a path back to serving both the true self and community – solitude. Taking even a few minutes each day to disconnect from the noise can ground you, fostering self-compassion, and reignite your capacity for love.

When you cultivate self-love, you naturally extend that same compassion and energy outward, treating others with greater understanding and kindness.

True connection begins within. By rediscovering our compassionate nature, we can bridge the divides and reclaim the value of community.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | November 5, 2024 · 11:21 am

What makes you happy?

“Gratitude is the antidote to the weight of regret”

In an uncertain and sometimes chaotic world, the constant stream of negative news can feel overwhelming, often overshadowing the positive moments. Unfortunately, the mind tends to focus more on negativity, making it essential to intentionally cultivate a mindset that embraces joy and positivity.

Throughout each day, we all face both positive and negative experiences. But have you ever wondered why the negative ones linger in your mind longer and why the negative message is more powerful than the positive?

Conditioning the mind to joy involves rewiring the brain to focus more on positive experiences, feelings, and thoughts while managing stress and challenges more effectively. Here are several practices that can help with this:

Gratitude

  • Daily Reflection: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on things you’re grateful for, even small things. Writing them down can amplify the effect, as it reinforces positive neural pathways.
  • Reframe Challenges: When facing difficulties, try to focus on any lessons or positives that can come from them. What do I need to learn from this experience? I there a positive side to this?

Meditation and Deep Walking

  • Stay Present: Mindfulness teaches you to focus on the present, reducing tendencies to dwell on the past or worry about the future, both of which can detract from joy.
  • Deep Walking in nature is a great way of reconnecting and alignment. Spending time in the green and blue spaces of nature and opening the senses to sound, smell and feeling will noticeable reduce your stress levels. If you want to find out more, check out my book: Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul.

Positive Visualization

  • Imagine Joyful Outcomes: Regularly visualizing positive experiences can help the brain become more attuned to them. Picture moments that bring you happiness and success, even small ones, and try to evoke the emotions you’d feel in those scenarios.
  • Future Gratitude: Think about things you’re looking forward to or would like to happen, and imagine how grateful you’ll feel when they do.

Self-Love

  • Speak Kindly to Yourself: The way you talk to yourself affects how you feel about yourself. Practicing self-compassion means addressing your thoughts with kindness and patience, which fosters a more joyful and supportive inner world.
  • Forgive Yourself: Mistakes happen, and letting go of self-criticism can bring immediate relief and joy.

Acts of Kindness

  • Give to Others: Helping others releases oxytocin and other “feel-good” hormones, creating a sense of connection and joy.
  • Practice Appreciation: Show gratitude to those around you, which can increase your own sense of happiness and fulfillment.

Flow Activities

  • Find a Passion or Hobby: Activities that fully absorb your attention—like art, sports, or music—can create “flow” states, which are deeply satisfying and joyful.
  • Focus on Progress: Rather than aiming for perfection, celebrate small wins and improvements, which can help you appreciate your journey.

Cultivate Optimism

  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you notice negative thoughts, ask yourself if they’re realistic or if there’s a more positive perspective you could consider.
  • Practice Positive Affirmations: Regularly affirming positive beliefs about yourself and your future can build a mindset that gravitates toward joy.

Physical Exercise

  • Exercise Regularly: Physical activity releases endorphins, boosts mood, and reduces stress, all of which contribute to a happier space.
  • Smile Often: Even forcing a smile can trigger a small release of dopamine, making the brain associate smiling with joy.

Building positive habits and cultivating a resilient mindset takes time, especially if you’ve spent years dwelling in negativity. It’s a gradual process, but starting small can make a big impact. Begin with simple actions, like writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. Or take a few minutes each day to walk in nature or meditate. Over time, these small steps add up, creating a powerful, lasting effect.

In my village, there’s a Moroccan fruit and vegetable vendor who greets each customer with a big smile and a warm, friendly remark. Recently, I told him how his kindness radiates positivity to everyone he meets. Just think of the hundreds of people he uplifts, day after day, week after week, year after year. For me he is a reminder of how just one person can have a profoundly positive effect.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | October 14, 2024 · 5:08 pm

Disinformation: The Threat to Democracy

I had to read the headline twice to fully grasp what was happening: meteorologists in the U.S. have been inundated with abuse, including death threats, from conspiracy theorists accusing them and the government of manufacturing and controlling hurricanes.

This disturbing trend mirrors the threats scientists faced during the COVID-19 pandemic, when fake news spread claims that the virus was a hoax. Recently, I made the mistake of commenting on an article about the U.S. presidential elections, only to be bombarded with vile remarks and personal insults.

Violent threats are becoming alarmingly common, especially on platforms like Twitter, where safeguards against disinformation have largely collapsed since Elon Musk’s acquisition. Now, anyone with an internet connection can propagate wild conspiracies, with little to no oversight.

A key tactic of right-wing extremists is to vilify both independent and mainstream media, constructing a dystopian reality where truth is distorted into lies and falsehoods are presented as truth. By manipulating reality and eroding public trust in factual information, they create fertile ground for the rise of totalitarianism.

Hannah Arendt, the German-American political theorist and philosopher, best known for her works on totalitarianism, warned as long ago as six years after World War II:

“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the convinced communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction (ie the reality of experience) and the distinction between true and false (ie standards of thought) no longer exist.”

Arendt’s concern with the fragility of truth in the public realm echoes today’s concerns about the impact of fake news on public trust in media, government, and institutions. When people no longer trust facts, they withdraw from democratic engagement and become vulnerable to authoritarian manipulation.

The reason why MAGA Trumpists and their acolytes such as Musk are targeting “mainstream media” is that Independent media is often at the forefront of exposing corruption, abuses of power, and misinformation, which might otherwise go unchecked.

Investigative journalism plays a pivotal role by digging into stories that powerful entities want to keep hidden. Independent media, free of government control, regularly fact-check falsehoods. Some examples include the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), The Guardian, and ProPublica.

PolitiFact is one of the most well-known fact-checking organizations in the United States. It is widely recognized for its Truth-O-Meter, which rates the accuracy of statements made by politicians, public figures, and media outlets. The ratings range from “True” to “Pants on Fire” for particularly egregious falsehoods.

Basic democratic freedom and liberty are being threatened in multiple countries. Authoritarian messaging is based on negativity and falsehoods to spread fear, anxiety, and division. The existing reality is exaggerated to much worse than it is. It promises the struggling working class a Utopian future. This future will, of course, never materialize.

Here are just a few examples of what you face if you allow authoritarianism to take control of your life:

  • Power is mostly concentrated in the hands of a single leader or a small ruling elite. Checks and balances are eroded allowing leaders to act without accountability or transparency.
  • Authoritarian leaders use their positions to enrich themselves and their acolytes. Public resources are diverted for personal gain, leading to a lack of investment in essential services like education, healthcare, and infrastructure.
  • Political competition is eliminated or severely restricted by changes in laws benefiting the ruling party. Opposition leaders may be imprisoned, exiled, or assassinated as we are currently seeing in Putin’s Russia.
  • Authoritarian regimes stoke hatred of “the other,” including ethnic and religious minorities, leading to social fragmentation violence and unrest.
  • Authoritarianism prioritizes control over economic liberalization, creativity and innovation. In the long term economies stagnate, and entrepreneurship is stifled.

Happiness is created by mindset and perspective. Foundational is a society with basic freedoms of democracy and expression. Authoritarianism ultimately has a devastating effect on every citizen. You end up being poorer, more desperate and living a life of quiet misery.

As Winston Churchill once summized: “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | October 7, 2024 · 2:52 am

Rediscover Calm: The Benefits of Trees

I often wonder why a walk in the forest quickly awakens my senses. It sharpens the sounds and smells around me. It also leaves me feeling peaceful and calm. This serenity has sparked much of the imagination behind my latest book. Science now supports what many of us have intuitively known: trees have a profound ability to put us in a positive state of mind.

The Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku, or “forest bathing,” introduced in 1982 by Japan’s Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries, was designed specifically to counter rising stress and mental health issues by encouraging people to spend time in forests.

The concept is simple: take a slow, mindful walk among the trees, engage your senses, and breathe deeply.

Recent research confirms that trees emit aromatic compounds called phytoncides, which have measurable health benefits. Dr. Qing Li, a leading figure in forest medicine and associate professor at Nippon Medical School, conducted a groundbreaking study published in 2007.

The findings revealed that time spent in forests significantly boosts natural killer (NK) cell activity, which plays a crucial role in the immune system’s ability to fight cancer and infections.

Moreover, the study showed a marked reduction in the stress hormone cortisol following forest immersion, leading to a drop in stress and anxiety. Participants reported improved mood, reduced anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of calm and relaxation after time spent in the woods. These lower stress levels improve sleep, reduce blood pressure, and, in the long run, support longevity.

The human brain is wired to negative bias

In today’s world, where our minds are constantly bombarded with negative messages that fuel anxiety and fear, this connection to nature becomes even more crucial. The human brain is wired with a negativity bias, a survival mechanism that our ancestors developed to remain alert to potential threats in their environment. If two hunters crossed paths, the first instinct would be to ask about dangers ahead.

This bias is embedded in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing. It reacts more strongly to negative stimuli, triggering the body’s fight-or-flight response.

Stress shuts down vital body organs

In moments of perceived danger, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood the body. They shut down non-essential functions like digestion. They also concentrate all resources on immediate action. This intense focus on survival overshadows positive experiences, making negative emotions like fear, anger, or sadness more memorable and impactful than joy or calm.

This is why negative narratives—particularly in politics and media—are so powerful. They tap into our primal wiring, skewing our perception of reality to appear far more dangerous and threatening than it often is. It’s essential, now more than ever, to guard the mind against this bombardment and create space for healing and rejuvenation.

You can actively counter the negativity bias by practicing gratitude, and mindfulness. When was the last time you went for a walk in the park or in a forest?

A walk amid trees in nature will help retrain the brain to focus on positive experiences, strengthening emotional resilience and fostering a greater sense of happiness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | September 9, 2024 · 2:30 pm

Healing the Wounded Inner Child: A Key to Finding Soul Purpose

Unlocking your true potential and discovering your soul-driven purpose often begins with healing your inner child—the part of you that struggles with procrastination or reacts intensely to seemingly minor triggers.

Many adults carry emotional wounds from childhood, like shame, guilt, or neglect, which can lead to feeling stuck in a victim mentality, reliving the past. Instead of facing and nurturing this wounded inner self, some turn to addiction or other forms of escape, missing the opportunity for true healing and growth.

Even more troubling, the wounded inner child—having endured severe physical and emotional abuse—may adopt aggressive behavior as a defense mechanism. Many of history’s most ruthless dictators, including Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, and Vladimir Putin, experienced deeply traumatic childhoods.

A malignant narcissist, rather than addressing the root of their pain, develops an insatiable need to be admired, validated, and revered. Beneath this façade lies a profound lack of self-esteem that drives them to constantly seek attention and control. Often found at the helm of political or religious cults, they surround themselves with sycophants, viewing even constructive criticism as betrayal. They believe they are always right, making it unlikely they would ever seek help or therapy.

I’ve often wondered why an increasing number of adults seem to lose the plot, have no situational awareness, and lack the most basic courtesy. The foundational stones of adult life are in many ways determined in early childhood, setting you up for success or failure in later life. But no matter what baggage from the past you are carrying on your shoulders you still have the power of choice.

Emotional support, attention, and affection are crucial for a child’s healthy development. The wounded child may have been an unwanted child, having received little physical or verbal expressions of love and affection.

One or both of the caregivers have been preoccupied, unavailable, and emotionally distant for much of the child’s life. They turn into adults who have difficulty regulating their emotions and struggle with their interpersonal relationships or suffer from anxiety and depression.

Self-care and healing the inner child

Healing the wounded inner child is key to unleashing your creative powers, self-esteem, and soul-driven purpose. It is never a one-off process but can be a lifetime journey of self-reflection and self-compassion.

The worst you can do is fall into the blame game, making your past responsible for all the mishaps in your life. The healing process starts by taking a different perspective and accepting the feelings and emotions from your childhood.

You can connect with your inner child by meditating on a picture of yourself at an age that was particularly hurtful or traumatic. Talk to that younger version of yourself offering parental comfort, support, and understanding that it didn’t have at the time. It is extremely helpful to start the process with the help of an experienced mentor or therapist.

Engage in activities that nurture the joy of the inner child

Even if most of your childhood was a long dark chapter, there were also moments where you experienced joy. Find out what gave you joy in the early stages of your life and whether you can expand on that in your adult life. Maybe it was playing with a favorite pet, reading a particular book, or watching a particular fairytale movie.

Setting boundaries

The hurt inner child has never learned to set healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries goes hand-in-hand with self-care. The more you start loving and practicing self-care with your inner child, the more you will become aware of what expands your energy and what sucks away at your energy level. Practice saying no to persons when you feel overwhelmed, when something doesn’t align with your values, or when you simply need your own space.

Healing the wounded inner child is a deeply personal journey, and different techniques or approaches may resonate with different individuals. Trust your instincts and the voice of your inner child.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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by | September 2, 2024 · 8:06 pm

Victimhood and Embracing Responsibility

In a relentless storm of external distractions, it’s easy to lose yourself in a maze of illusions, false hopes, and misleading perceptions that steer you away from your true destiny and purpose.

The messaging from the world out there is primarily that happiness is created by „having“ rather than „being“.

Abundance and prosperity, if used mindfully, are useful tools to make an impact, but if they are the primary motive of all your efforts you will never have enough, falling into the trap of postponing the good life to some distant future.

Here is the hard truth: That moment will never come if you fail to live fully in the present moment, and practice gratitude for all the blessings that you already have.

Accepting Responsibility

Victimhood is one of the biggest obstacles to growth and personal fulfillment. By blaming your partner, your parents, your boss and the government for all that has gone wrong in your life you stay at a low vibrational energy where you will miss all the opportunities offered by the universe.

When the language you speak to yourself and others is mainly one of anger, retribution and hate you will attract much of the same dark energy around you. What you emanate to the world you will receive. You will remain trapped in an endless cycle of unhappiness.

We are all victims to some degree. The storms of life can unsettle in countless unpredictable ways. External events, accidents, personal loss and natural catastrophes are not under your control. But how you deal with these unexpected events make all the difference.

Photo by Julia Avamotive on Pexels.com

Accepting Impermanence

Like the seasons in nature nothing is permanent. The natural cycle dictates a time of spring and summer for birth, growth, and harvesting before we enter again a season of autumn and winter. The dark cold seasons of life are a time for introspection, recalibration and renewal. It means letting go of people that keep you at a low frequency, changing a job, a location or even a country. Fear of the unknown often leads to procrastination in the comfort zone but moving ahead also presents the greatest opportunity for growth and personal fulfillment.

Follow your aspirations and dreams

Never give up on your values, purpose and your why. You will intuitively sense that you are on the right path if everything falls into place. You meet the right people at the right time at the place at the right time. You feel a surge of energy and passion when you are doing the things that are in sync with your values and dreams.

Societal norms and expectations

There will always be other people who are seemingly happier, healthier and wealthier than you are. What you see on social media is not the reality. Sometimes those people who seemingly have everything in terms of fame and fortune are deeply unhappy because happiness is a state of mind.

Taking time for solitude

In a noisy and hurried world it has become more essential than ever to take time out for solitude and contemplation. When you take time for a quiet walk in nature the noise of the world recedes into the background. You will sense an innate harmony beyond the seemingly chaotic. In the natural world everything is interconnected and has its place and purpose within the totality of wholeness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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by | August 20, 2024 · 8:42 am

The words we use matter

Words have a powerful impact on both mental and physical health, and leaders bear a significant responsibility in choosing words that resonate within a nation’s collective consciousness, either undermining or strengthening social cohesion.

When political or thought leaders normalize belittling, insulting, or threatening language, it sets a precedent for their followers to do the same. It has now become almost impossible to discuss an emotional or controversial topic on social media without it devolving into personal attacks.

Positive words can uplift mood, foster a sense of connection, and enhance self-esteem, while negative words can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress.

Repetition of negative words impacts your health

Repeated repetition of words that trigger anger and fear reinforces harmful beliefs and thought patterns, cementing a pessimistic or fearful worldview. They turn on the body’s fight-or-flight response, leading to increased heart rate, elevated cortisol levels, and muscle tension.

A well-known study published in 2015 in the journal Psychological Science analyzed Twitter language from different counties across the United States. The researchers found that the frequency of negative words related to anger, stress, and fatigue was a strong predictor of heart disease mortality in those areas. This predictive power was even stronger than traditional factors like smoking and obesity rates.

Negative social media interactions can turn on stress pathways in the body, leading to chronic inflammation, higher blood pressure, and other risk factors.

Positive affirmations promote mental well-being

In contrast, repeated positive affirmations or mindfulness practices involving positive language can lead to lasting changes in brain pathways, promoting greater mental well-being.

Kind, supportive, and empathetic language strengthens relationships and builds social bonds, which are crucial for mental health. Positive words turn on reward centers in the brain, while negative words trigger fear and pain.

Words can trigger the release of feel-good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin, reduce stress levels, and promote relaxation. Here are just some examples of many: love, peace, stillness, breath, kind, smile, cheer, kind, value, and gratitude.

The Power of Mantras and Prayer

Various studies have revealed that recitation of certain prayers and mantras has a particularly positive effect on heart rate variability and cardiovascular health.

The song “Ave Maria,” particularly in its various classical renditions like those by Franz Schubert or Charles Gounod, is known to have a profound calming, and soothing effect on the body and mind. The spiritual connection can evoke feelings of comfort, protection, and spiritual upliftment, quietening the mind and reducing mental chatter.

One of the most widely used and revered mantras in Tibetan Buddhism is “Om Mani Padme Hung”. The mantra is particularly helpful in purifying negative emotions like anger, jealousy, and attachment. Practitioners can cultivate a more compassionate and loving mindset, leading to greater emotional balance and resilience. Chanting the mantra typically involves deep, rhythmic breathing, which can improve oxygenation of the body, enhance lung capacity, and promote a sense of physical calm.

In summary, the words we hear and use in our vocabulary shape who we are, impacting our relationships and our physiological and psychological health.

In moments when the external world pulses with negativity, it’s crucial to establish healthy boundaries and elevate your own vibrational energy. Cultivating a space of stillness, positivity, joy, and self-care becomes essential.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | August 12, 2024 · 3:55 pm

The Power of Forgiveness: Healing and Empowering

A few months after Nelson Mandela was released from 27 years of imprisonment by South Africa’s apartheid regime, I had the extraordinary privilege of meeting him at his home with a small group of journalists.

As I stood in his presence, I couldn’t help but wonder how a man who had endured such immense suffering could radiate such profound kindness and show no desire for retribution toward those who had wronged him.

The answer became clear when he shared a powerful insight: “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear. That’s why it’s such a powerful weapon.”

A powerful message of leadership

Mandela’s wisdom and unwavering commitment to forgiveness set him apart as a leader of unparalleled stature, guiding his nation from the brink of civil war to the dawn of a modern democracy. His example is a powerful reminder of the qualities of leadership that are so desperately needed in our world today.

Seeking retribution for wrongs committed by others is at the heart of the Middle East conflict and peace will not be found unless Israelis and Palestinians learn to forgive each other. It is difficult enough on a personal level to forgive but wise leaders of a country can make all the difference.

Are you struggling to forgive yourself and others? The biblical story of Joseph is one of the most powerful teachings of how the ways of the universe or God can be very different from the plans we often make in life.

Joseph was slandered, beaten, and sold into slavery by his own brothers because of jealousy. Joseph could have easily succumbed to his fate but he never lost faith that everything in life had purpose and meaning.

The trap of the blame game

Only from such a perspective could he forgive his brothers and move out of the trap of the blame game. He made the best out of his situation to such an extent that Potiphar, the man who bought him on the slave market in Egypt, soon promoted him to a higher position. Later he was put in charge of managing Potiphar’s huge estate.

Potiphar had taken a liking to Joseph and must have been impressed by his kindness, wisdom, and humility. For all intents and purposes, Joseph had made it. But Potiphar’s bored wife had taken just as much a liking to the handsome young Joseph.

Realizing that he would betray his master who had done so much for him, Joseph avoided the advances of Potiphar’s wife who became so upset that she accused him of rape. Joseph was thrown into prison losing everything. He could again have succumbed to despondency.

But it so happens that he meets in prison two of the Pharaoh’s ministers who had lost favor with the ruler. One of them was eventually released from prison and restored to his old position. Only when the Pharaoh had a strange dream did the minister remember the time in prison with Joseph who had impressed him as an interpreter of dreams.

Long story short: Joseph gets released from prison to interpret the Pharaoh’s dream. The essence of the dream was that the ruler had to prepare the country for seven years of drought. Amazingly Joseph’s fortune changed in an instant when the Pharaoh recognized the wisdom of the man he was dealing with.  Joseph is promoted to viceroy of all of Egypt as the righthand man of the most powerful ruler of the world at the time.

Life comes in strange twists and turns

True to the dream interpretation the drought did come and only by wise management of the food and grain resources could countless lives be saved including those of Joseph’s brother and aging father Jacob.

Life comes often in strange twists and turns. Fortunes can be earned and lost overnight. High positions of political power and influence may be gone tomorrow. The amazing story of Joseph is that he never lost trust and faith. By forgiving his brothers and Potiphar’s wife for falsely accusing him, he made peace with himself and could go into trust and humility. From that energy grew his wisdom and incredible foresight to prevent a catastrophe.

Forgiving does not mean approval of wrongdoing

Forgiving does not mean that you are approving of wrongdoing, of abuse, and all the terrible things that humans do to each other. It is making peace with the past in the knowledge that you are the person today because of all of that which you have experienced.

The famous Austrian psychiatrist Victor Frankl only survived the Nazi death camps by telling himself that “everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s one way.”

Forgiveness is self-care at the highest level

Forgiveness requires a conscious decision to release feelings of resentment and vengeance toward someone who has harmed you. It is self-care at the highest level.

Forgiveness allows you to release negative emotions and to move on in life. Remaining locked in hate and retribution keeps you at a low vibrational energy that prevents you from spotting the new opportunities the universe is presenting to you.

By choosing to forgive, you are paving the way to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. You are creating room for positive feelings to flourish.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | July 23, 2024 · 8:03 am

The shooter: A problem of angry young men

A 20-year-old individual with mental health issues narrowly missed assassinating former President Donald Trump, with the bullet missing him by just an inch. While the media highlights the apparent security lapses, the deeper concern lies in the alarming pattern of another troubled, angry young person resorting to gun violence.

Minutes after the incident, both sides of the political spectrum devolved into outlandish conspiracy theories, blaming each other for inciting political extremism with their rhetoric. However, the incident reflects a broader issue: a troubled young man who could have directed his violence at any other prominent person or innocent people in a school or shopping mall.

Young men responsible for mass shootings

Nearly all mass shootings in the United States have been committed by young men. A 2019 report titled “Mass Murder with Firearms: Incidents and Victims, 1999-2013” provides detailed demographic breakdowns, showing that most mass shooters are male and often in their 20s and 30s.

For most people outside the United States, the gun culture and the ease with which deeply disturbed human beings can get access to highly dangerous weapons is incomprehensible.

The man who fired at Trump, Thomas Mathew Crooks, fits the profile of most other shooters such as social isolation, mental health challenges, and access to a firearm. His political views seem ambiguous. We will never know his motives after he was killed by a secret service agent sniper.

Regression into macho-culture

A breakdown of recent European elections and the MAGA culture in the United States reveals that a large swathe of young men are regressing into an unhealthy demagogic macho culture headed by male figureheads, tapping into their grievances, anger, and lack of self-esteem.

Recent studies and statistics show us that young women in their early twenties are crushing it on nearly all levels from education to job performance while men in the same age group are falling behind with a devastating impact on their mental health.

According to the U.S. National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), in 2020, about 59 percent of all undergraduate students were women, while 41 percent were men. In the 2019-2020 academic year women earned 60 percent of all Masters degrees and 54 percent of all doctoral degrees.

Higher education levels mean higher earnings with women in their early twenties increasingly entering high-paying fields in traditionally male-dominated industries like tech and engineering.

Young men in their early twenties typically report higher rates of substance abuse across various categories. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), in 2020, some 53.4 percent of young men aged 18-25 reported binge drinking in the past month, compared to 40.3 percent of women in the same age group.

Young men typically far outnumber women when it comes to violent crime and the number of prison inmates. While over 1.1 million men serve time in prison in the United States the number of women is only 80,000.

A poll by the Institute of Politics (IOP) at Harvard Kennedy School revealed striking differences between how young Democrats, Republicans, and independents view the role of men and women in society. Young men are increasingly turning away from the Democrats and adopting more conservative Republican ideology.

In a culture where young men have the feeling they are losing out, macho male political extremists are telling them that the system is rigged against them, that immigrants and minorities are responsible for their misery, and that science is a hoax.

Overly rigid “woke” and “cancel culture” sidelines individuals for perceived transgressions contributing to societal divisiveness.

We have seen a dangerous precedent where fascist movements in Germany, Spain, and Italy during the early 1930s were led by charismatic leaders such as Hitler, Mussolini, and Franco. Fascist movements are male-dominated macho cults, emphasizing traditional gender roles. Project 2025, a plan crafted by the Heritage Foundation and various conservative groups emphasizes the role of men as providers and protectors while advocating for women primarily as caretakers and nurturers within the traditional nuclear family context.

Young men turning to the right, women to the left

A strong gender gap in political affiliation can also be detected in countries such as Germany where young men are increasingly turning to more conservative views while women in the same age group tend to vote for progressive parties. Based on recent data, it can be estimated that around 30-35 percent of young men in their early twenties in France support right-wing parties, particularly the National Rally and similar far-right parties.

In the recent European elections, the upsurge in support for right-wing parties was fueled by young voters, especially young men, embracing hardline anti-immigration views. According to pollsters political allegiances forged in young adulthood tend to last for a lifetime with the trend toward radicalism unlikely to ebb anytime soon.

While political parties on the extreme fringes are propagating the message to young men that external circumstances are responsible, the real issue of their pain is not addressed. A multi-faced approach is needed:

  • We urgently need to promote healthy, non-toxic models of masculinity that allow for emotional expression and vulnerability.
  • Peer support groups and mentoring programs can assist young men in sharing their experiences
  • Community-based programs that offer team sports, skill-building workshops, and social support can help reduce social isolation.

We cannot allow demagogues and political cults to poison the minds of young men with a false sense of meaning and purpose with a regression into a macho-culture, glorifying gun culture and confusing self-empowerment with the use of force.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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