Category Archives: psychology

by | January 7, 2025 · 12:38 pm

Emotions and Health: The Hidden Connection

As you embrace the New Year with fresh intentions and resolutions, it’s crucial to recognize the emotional stressors that deeply impact your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

The medieval Sephardic Jewish philosopher Maimonides emphasized a holistic approach to health, integrating the physical, spiritual, and emotional dimensions of well-being. He notably highlighted chronic anger as one of the most harmful emotions.

Modern science echoes these teachings, revealing a growing body of evidence that underscores the importance of managing emotions and fostering mental health for overall physical well-being.

The Harmful Effects of Emotional Stress

Emotional stress profoundly affects physical health, serving as a root cause of numerous conditions such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and certain cancers. Chronic stress also lowers your energetic vibration, pulling your mindset toward negativity, where you’re more likely to perceive—and attract—negative outcomes.

A study at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh has revealed perhaps the strongest evidence so far on the link between stress and the body’s capacity to deal with inflammation.

In moments of intense anger, pain, or fear, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for creative thinking and problem-solving—essentially shuts down, leaving you reactive and unfocused.

Short-term stress can be beneficial, such as helping you react quickly to avoid a car accident. However, chronic stress floods the body with hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which overburden vital organs such as the heart, kidneys, and liver. Prolonged stress also disrupts digestion and contributes to inflammatory diseases.

The Impact of Social Media and Negative Narratives

Modern stressors include the pervasive influence of social media. A poll of 14-to-24-year-olds revealed that platforms like Instagram and Snapchat amplify feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, often fueled by negative comments on appearance and self-image. Research from the University of Pennsylvania even found a strong correlation between negative language on Twitter and heart disease mortality.

Harnessing the Power of Choice

The encouraging news is that you have the power to choose your emotional and mental state. Positive emotions such as gratitude and happiness enhance immune function and promote longevity. Practices like laughter and optimism stimulate the production of natural killer cells that fight infection, while a positive outlook fosters healthier lifestyle habits.

Practical Steps Toward Resilience

To build resilience and effectively handle life’s challenges, consider these practices:

  • Nutrition and Exercise: Adopt a diet rich in high-nutritional-value foods and maintain regular physical activity.
  • Nature and Surroundings: Spend time in attractive, natural environments to rejuvenate your spirit.
  • Spiritual Practice: Incorporate mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine.
  • Emotional Shifting: Begin by accepting your current emotional state—be it anger, sadness, or fear. Fighting these emotions only reinforces them. Instead, focus on your breath: inhale and exhale deeply through your nose while counting to ten. This mindfulness can help you emotionally shift, replacing fear with trust, sadness with a joyful memory, or anger with calmness.

Guarding the Doorway of Your Mind

In today’s world, where grievance culture and negativity often dominate the narrative, it’s more important than ever to protect your mental state. Surround yourself with positive-minded people, and cultivate gratitude through daily rituals. For example, reflect on the best moment of the past 24 hours—it’s there, waiting to be appreciated.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 26, 2024 · 3:30 pm

Walking the Camino: Lessons in Life and Faith

Walking the Camino is a spiritual journey that mirrors the journey of life, unfolding in three profound stages: a beginning, a middle, and an end. Kierkegaard describes these three stages of life as the aesthetic, the ethical, and the religious.

The first stage—the crucifixion—represents the struggle and hardship of making mistakes, forcing the boat upstream, and losing your way on the wrong path. During the first stage in life we face trial and error, effort often feels futile. You sometimes engage in aimless wandering and deviations. You may easily lose your way with countless distractions in the monkey mind.

The middle stage, symbolized by the Valley of Death or the Meseta, is a surrender of the ego to a higher purpose and deeper meaning. Here, the ego must die for the soul to awaken to its inner truth, allowing for transformation and clarity.

According to Kierkegaard the appeal during this “ethical stage” lies in walking the path with confidence, even though it may be monotonous and exhausting at times.

The final stage—the resurrection—is a state of flow, where you align with the current of life and begin to see that every experience, even the challenges, has been an expression of divine grace, sculpting you into the BEING you were always meant to become.

You feel the ecstasy in the dance of life. Your walk is a gentle surfing of the path without a sense of gravity. There is an unspoken faith in the journey that drives you forward, and quickens your pace.

Reaching the Cathedral of Santiago is a celebration of joy and homecoming, marking the soul’s return to its true essence. Ultimately, the Camino is a journey of the soul, finding its way back home.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 16, 2024 · 5:53 pm

Minds captured by Fanaticism

A right-wing media ecosystem fueled by resentment and anger is capturing millions of minds with a steady stream of alternate realities, stoking division, and delivering a daily narrative designed to reinforce grievance and distrust.

Social media is becoming an even more integral part of daily life, particularly for younger generations, as highlighted by Pew Research. While extremist platforms like Rumble remain smaller than giants like YouTube, they still attract millions of followers, spreading a wide array of conspiracy theories and disinformation.

Driven by a core message of fear and anxiety, these “hate entrepreneurs” pin blame for personal and collective challenges on a shifting cast of internal and external enemies, further exacerbating divisions.

Doom prophecies have long been a typical playbook of cults and populist political leaders.

It appears that once a person has invested huge time and energy resources in a particular belief, it becomes part of their identity. Even the best argument or scientific study will not dissuade the person from adopting a different perspective. They become locked in a particular mindset. Different perspectives or beliefs are radically rejected and some even turn to violent behavior to defend their mindset.

During medieval times when the black plague decimated much of the European population, rumor and superstition spread just as fast. A rumor that the Jews were responsible for the plague by poisoning water wells led to a mass pogrom in the French city of Strasbourg. About 2,000 Jews were burned alive on a platform constructed in a Jewish cemetery on Valentine’s Day in 1349.

Leon Festinger, a social psychologist, made groundbreaking contributions in the 1950s to understanding belief systems. He based much of his findings on studying a cult led by Dorothy Martin (alias Marian Keech), who claimed to receive messages from extraterrestrial beings about a catastrophic flood that would destroy the Earth on a specific date.

In some of his key findings he found that members of the cult were so committed to their belief that they abandoned jobs, loved ones and possessions in preparation for the flood. When the prophecy failed, instead of abandoning their belief, the cult members rationalized the failure by claiming that their prayers had “saved the world.”


Festinger found that cognitive dissonance was highest among those who had made the most significant personal sacrifices for the cult, doubling down on their belief and reinforcing their fanaticism.

In a digital world it becomes far easier for cults and extremist groups to maintain cohesion by withdrawing into information silos that cement beliefs such as:

  • Climate change denial
  • Vaccines are a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical industry
  • The “chemtrails” conspiracy theory posits that the condensation trails left by aircraft—are chemicals intentionally sprayed into the atmosphere for nefarious purposes. The rumor has persisted since the early 1990s despite the lack of clear scientific evidence.

Fixed belief and fanaticism ultimately creates a toxic emotional state, blending fear, anxiety, and anger. It fosters dehumanization, deepens political polarization, and fractures social cohesion.

On a personal level, it becomes a significant barrier to self-growth and spiritual evolution. In a rapidly changing world, adapting is essential for survival. Clinging to rigid beliefs not only limits personal transformation but also blinds you to the new opportunities and possibilities the universe continually offers.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 9, 2024 · 9:11 am

When Faith Turns Toxic: The Spiritual Journey

The rebirth of Paris’s Notre-Dame Cathedral, five years after a devastating fire, serves as a striking beacon of hope during a time marked by division, uncertainty, and fear. It is a powerful testament to what humanity can achieve when united in a shared purpose.

Europe’s great cathedrals, such as Chartres and Notre-Dame, were more than architectural marvels. They were profound expressions of faith, creativity, and communal spirit. These towering structures, built to reflect heavenly glory, continue to inspire awe and remind us of the enduring power of collective endeavor.

What unites people around a common purpose fosters trust and transcends individual interests. For millennia, religious rituals and practices have served this unifying function, binding communities to shared values, goals, and principles. Religion has also provided a framework for understanding suffering and adversity, offering solace and resilience in times of need.

Religion and the sense of belonging

As inherently social beings, humans find strength in connection. Participating in religious ceremonies has historically reinforced a sense of belonging and strengthened the social fabric of communities. Modern studies affirm this, linking faith and religious involvement to lower levels of depression and anxiety, underscoring the vital role of shared spirituality in nurturing mental and emotional well-being.

Hill and Pargament (2003) concluded that spirituality fosters resilience by enhancing hope and optimism, even in highly stressful situations.

But paradoxically the affiliation to a specific religion, community or faith often strengthens the divide between “them and us”. Religion can bring out the best and the worst in humanity. Friendships, humanity and service may be restricted to the “in group” while those outside the group were often villified and dehumanized.

In my recent podcast on LivingtoBE, I discussed with psychologist Katie Turner, on when spirituality or religion becomes toxic and in some cases cause long-lasting trauma.

  • When clergy, therapists or spiritual teachers have not done the the self-work by transmuting their own shadows they will project these on their followers.
  • Some religious beliefs discourage seeking professional help, claiming that prayer or faith alone should suffice.
  • Religion is then abused as a tool of manipulation, coercion, control and exclusion. Overemphasis on sin, punishment, or unachievable standards of moral purity can lead to chronic guilt and shame.
  • Toxic religion often revolves around charismatic leaders who demand absolute loyalty and discourage critical thinking or questioning.

When members of a religious community feel compelled to suppress their individuality, religion can even alienate them from their authentic spiritual path and soul purpose.

Religious platitudes may hinder personal growth and self-discovery, with fixed beliefs locking individuals into a singular worldview obstructing the evolution of spiritual awareness and consciousness.

What Can Help?

  • Set Boundaries: Establish clear limits on how much influence religion exerts over your life and well-being.
  • Seek Broader Perspectives: Explore spiritual practices and belief systems that prioritize love, tolerance, acceptance, and personal growth.
  • Consider Professional Support: Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space for healing from spiritual abuse or the effects of toxic religious experiences.

At its best, religion offers sanctuary, love, and compassion during times of need. At its worst, it can inflict profound physical and emotional harm. Cultivating a grounded connection to your own intuitive senses and spiritual needs will help you discern and navigate the difference, empowering you to recognize and avoid toxic expressions of faith.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | December 4, 2024 · 10:29 am

Home: Reflections on Place and Belonging

The landscape that you inhabit shapes you in profound ways, prompting the question: Where is home, and what environment truly nurtures your joy, energy, and zest for life?

Recently, I returned to South Africa, revisiting the places that defined my childhood. The journey was deeply reflective, stirring memories and a realization: home is no longer where it once was.

While timeless landmarks like the mountains and rivers of the Drakensberg endure, everything shaped by human hands changes—and often, tragically, deteriorates.

In rural South Africa, essential infrastructure like roads, sanitation, water, and electricity has largely collapsed or is on the brink of failure. Political corruption has turned state institutions into feeding troughs for party loyalists, leaving what was once the pride of Africa’s railways and roads in disrepair.

The place of home can shift

Circumstances led me to leave my birthplace at a young age. For years, I lived and worked in Germany—a land tied to my ancestral roots but one I could never truly call home. The long, cold, and wet winters left me battling colds and flu for weeks, an unmistakable signal that my well-being needed a different environment.

At times I was terribly homesick, longing for the blue skies, expansive landscapes, sounds and smells of my African homeland. It is easy to fall into the trap of melancholy sadness of what once was and is no more, the past becoming an idealized and distorted image.

Finding the place in the sun

Seven years ago, I found my place under the sun in Mallorca, Spain. It wasn’t until then that I fully understood how deeply geography, culture, and community impacts not just physical health but mental vibrancy and energy.

Sometimes, choosing to live someplace else does change everything for the better, notwithstanding that you always take yourself with you. Home is ultimately within. Home is what creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

Feeling at home sometimes shifts as you grow, adapt, and explore the world. At times, it’s where you were born or raised, rooted in childhood memories and traditions. At other times, it’s where you feel most alive, inspired, and at peace—a place or state of mind that aligns with your values, dreams, and well-being.

Recently the most renowned South African writer and poet Breyten Breytenbach passed away in his home in Paris. In his prose, Breytenbach frequently explored how the home one remembers rarely aligns with the home one finds upon return. The landscapes may remain familiar, but the social, political, and personal contexts often shift dramatically.

Returning home can evoke a profound sense of loss—of the self that once belonged fully to that place and the home that no longer exists as it was. Returning to childhood landscapes can be a complex, bittersweet experience, marked by both longing and alienation.

In a poignant in his book “Return to Paradise”, Breytenbach reflects:

We carry our homes within us,
shaped by the stories of our scars.
The land may hold its silence,
but the roads remember our footsteps.

Where is the place where you can truly breathe and thrive?

What does home mean to you?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | October 28, 2024 · 7:39 am

Leadership matters: The Strong vs the Wise

Whether it’s the captain of a ship, a school principal, a company manager, or the president of a nation, leadership makes a difference. The character and values a leader demonstrates through words and actions can have a profound impact.

For more than a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to work with hundreds of companies, gaining much insight into the challenges and success stories when it comes to people management, motivation, creativity and well-being.

Ultimately, leadership plays a huge role. It determines how a family, a company, an institution, or even a country adapts and navigates tumultuous times.

Brute strength and fear never work

It’s not brute strength that counts, but wisdom. A “strong” leader, is often authoritarian and surrounded by sycophants, refuses to take good advice and relies on fear-based tactics.

This approach is often seen in leaders driven by ego or even malignant narcissism. It can lead to immense, lasting harm. Such leaders tend to belittle others to mask their own insecurities and deficiencies.

The wise leader, by contrast, has a bigger vision, grounded in social intelligence and deep listening. They pick up early signals before issues escalate into crises, navigating with a calm, compassionate demeanor. Wise leadership is marked by patience, thoughtfulness, and humility, creating an atmosphere where people feel valued and respected.

Mandela exemplified compassionate leadership

Nelson Mandela exemplified this. After being unjustly imprisoned for 27 years, he had every reason to harbor bitterness. Yet, when I met Mandela shortly after his release from prison in 1990, he showed a profound sense of forgiveness. He realized that hate and retribution would only hinder a peaceful, democratic future for South Africa. He recognized that his true strength lay in bringing together opposite sides in building one nation.

Body language tells the truth

To grasp the distinction between effective and ineffective leadership, we should pay attention not just to words but to body language. Wise leaders convey a natural authority through measured movements, creating an environment of stability and composure even in high-stress scenarios. Their expressions are often accompanied by a gentle smile that signals warmth and approachability. They nod or offer affirmations while others speak, embodying active listening and respect.

In contrast, ego-driven leaders tend to use body language to assert control. They may invade personal space, exhibit forceful gestures like pointing or chopping the air, and maintain scowling or emotionless expressions, creating an atmosphere of intimidation and tension rather than collaboration and respect.

This distinction is crucial because effective leadership directly shapes workplace culture, employee engagement, and job satisfaction—all key factors influencing absenteeism and work-related stress.

Bad leadership destroys health and well-being

Research supports this, such as the Health and Well-being at Work report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) in the UK. This 2019 study found that 37 percent of employees cited “management style” as a major source of workplace stress, a significant factor in absenteeism.

  • Organizations with supportive managers reported lower absenteeism rates, as employees felt valued and connected to their work.
  • Furthermore, the report highlighted how companies with inclusive, communicative, and supportive cultures see fewer absences.
  • When leadership invests in employee well-being, absenteeism rates can drop by nearly 25 percent, significantly reducing burnout and fostering resilience, health and satisfaction.

What does this mean for national leadership? Leaders at the helm of a country have an outsize influence. They can incite division, demean, and fragment society. Do they bring out the worst in the human being in emanating fear, intolerance, anger and retribution? Or, do they heal, unite, respect, and motivate a nation, elevating it to a higher state of consciousness.

The character and values of a nation are mirrored in its chosen leaders, as the philosopher and writer Joseph de Maistre, (1753–1821) once said:

“Every nation gets the government it deserves.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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by | October 1, 2024 · 4:00 am

Finding inner peace: Why politics isn’t the answer

Owen’s story is a deeply tragic one, echoing the struggles of millions around the world. As a child, he endured emotional neglect, bullying, and physical abuse. As an adult, he tried to bury his painful past through hard work and discipline, building what appeared to be a successful life and career.

Owen found love, married, and started a family. Yet, beneath this outward success, unresolved anger and emotional wounds began to surface, triggered by seemingly minor incidents. These flare-ups led to growing conflicts both at work and in his marriage.

His wife and colleagues were concerned and encouraged him to seek professional help. Viewing therapy as a weakness, he refused to confront his inner turmoil. Over time, his life unraveled. Owen’s marriage broke down. When his company faced financial hardship, he was among the first to lose his job.

Although he eventually found another position, it paid far less and left him feeling bitter and resentful. Instead of looking inward, Owen began to externalize his unhappiness, spending hours online, where he became engrossed in extremist ideologies. Political demagogues fed his grievances, reinforcing his belief that his problems were caused by others.

Rather than facing his internal struggles and taking responsibility for his choices, Owen clung to the promises of a political leader who painted an idyllic future. Sadly, this path only deepened his frustration, because here’s the truth: No government, leader, or external force can be held responsible for your personal mindset or choices.

Owen’s story may sound familiar—it could mirror your own, or reflect the experiences of someone you know. But there’s a way out of this cycle. Here are some steps to find peace and happiness in your life:

  • Forgive, love, and accept yourself: Life is full of challenges, failures, and setbacks. Take responsibility for your reactions to them. Blame won’t change your circumstances, but your mindset and approach to life’s ups and downs are within your control.
  • Discover your purpose: You’re here for a reason. Identify your strengths and ask yourself how you can contribute to the greater good. Meaning often comes from serving others and connecting to something larger than yourself.
  • Find a spiritual anchor: Whether through meditation, time in nature, or connecting with a supportive community, grounding yourself in a spiritual practice can provide comfort, clarity, and joy.
  • Practice gratitude: Even in the smallest things, there are always blessings to be found. If you can walk, see the sunrise, or enjoy a simple meal, there’s reason to be thankful. Creating a daily gratitude practice can elevate your energy and invite more positivism into your life.

Ultimately, happiness and fulfillment come from within. By learning to love yourself, you can shift your life to a higher vibrational frequency.

What are you emanating and attracting in your life? Are you the type of person whose company people enjoy? Do you light up a room with kindness, situational awareness and joy?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

Related topics:

Why are so many people angry and unhappy?

Healing the wounded inner child

Victimhood and embracing responsibility

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by | May 14, 2024 · 7:13 am

Pushback from dark forces

You don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist to see that extremist groups are exploiting global fears and uncertainties to push an agenda that threatens basic freedoms and hinders humanity’s collective progress.

Despite significant advancements over the past two decades, there is rising resistance from forces entrenched in primordial ideologies, where power is maintained through subjugation and conflict.

For your own peace of mind, it is important not to be overwhelmed by the voices of negativity emanating from the external world, but at the same time be aware of the manipulative forces trying to lure you into a false reality.

Fear and anxiety create an imagined threat

When in fear and anxiety you not only become susceptible to a false narrative but you will be held back to the next level of growth and consciousness. The natural human survival mechanism of freeze, flight, or fight mode is triggered by the primitive or “reptilian brain” when a real or imagined threat is perceived.

Those regions of the brain playing a significant part in decision-making, creativity, and problem-solving such as the prefrontal cortex, parietal cortex, and portions of the temporal and occipital lobes are literally put on hold.

Evil forces are masters at creating and manipulating grievance culture

If you are unable to reflect and put those fears and anxieties in perspective or when emotions from past trauma are suppressed, you are easy prey for manipulation by external forces. Political demagogues are masters at building a grievance culture based on existing collective fears, shame, or humiliation.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

These simple but highly effective techniques have been used by dictators, authoritarians, and cult leaders throughout history:

  • Reshaping public opinion by spreading a false and misleading narrative. Quality media and journalism characterized by in-depth reporting and fact-checking is slammed as fake news. Followers are increasingly lured into a “group-think” mentality where all other perspectives are vilified as disloyalty and betrayal.
  • The charismatic leader presents himself as a “messianic figure” promising to solve all problems and fulfill people’s needs. They promote an image of themselves as infallible leaders cultivating a cult-like devotion among followers.
  • Certain groups, individuals, parties, and minorities are scapegoated to deflect blame and to unite followers behind the leader, deflecting from their own failings and weaknesses.
  • They manipulate historical narratives to legitimize their rule and justify their actions. This can involve glorifying past achievements, whitewashing atrocities, or demonizing political opponents.
  • Independent institutions such as the judiciary, legislature, and civil society organizations are usurped to prevent checks and balances in the system. It took Adolf Hitler and his Nazi party less than three months to replace the entire German civil service with loyalists after coming to power in a democratic election in 1933.
  • Loyalists are rewarded with a combination of rewards and punishments to discourage dissent. Critics are either forced into exile, imprisoned or litigated into bankruptcy.

The Maga Republicans in the United States, Viktor Orbán’s Fidesz party in Hungary, Germany’s extremist AfD party, the Putinist movement in Russia or the Erdogan program in Turkey, all show similar totalitarian characteristics and have a common agenda.

Extremist movements are adept at creating a nostalgic and glorified view of the past where in their view “there was more prosperity, less crime, less social unrest, and the woman knew her place in the social hierarchy.”

Present realities are painted darker than they actually are. Our parents and grandfathers by far did not have the same opportunities as we have today: Here a few examples:

  • Global poverty rates have declined significantly over the past two decades. Many countries, particularly in Asia, have experienced rapid economic growth, lifting millions out of poverty.
  • Technological advancements have transformed communication and access to information, enabling greater connectivity and social mobilization. Can you imagine a world today without Internet and a cell phone in your hand with all the information in the world at your fingertips?
  • Renewable energy sources have become more prominent, creating cheaper energy and boosting economic prosperity.
  • There is a growing recognition of the interconnectedness of all life and the importance of environmental sustainability, social justice, and ethical living. Many spiritual and religious traditions emphasize values such as compassion, empathy, and stewardship of the Earth.
  • There has been a proliferation of spiritual movements, beliefs, and practices, reflecting diverse cultural, religious, and philosophical traditions. We are fast embracing a more tolerant and universal “cosmic religion.”

These changes could only take place with more freedoms, room for expression and acceptance of diversity and change as a fundamental part of human evolvement and advancement. It is worth fighting to protect these freedoms.

Let’s acknowledge the historical truth: extremist, fascist movements inflicted the most catastrophic human tragedy and loss of life during World War II.

Today, we stand at a critical juncture where concerted action is imperative to thwart Russia’s advances in Ukraine, a crucial player in global food exports. If the United States, were to cease armament support to Ukraine and inadvertently aid Putin’s aggression, the consequences would be dire. We could witness a mass displacement of many millions of people towards Western Europe, destabilizing societies on a global scale.

Furthermore, intelligence assessments suggest that Putin’s ambitions extend far beyond Ukraine. There are concerns of potential Russian expansion into the Baltic states and even Poland, effectively redrawing geopolitical boundaries.

Simultaneously, Putin’s regime propagates an insidious information war, sowing seeds of hatred and division in numerous countries. Alarmingly, elements within the Maga Republican movement have been parroting verbatim Russian disinformation.

However, a successful defense by Ukraine against Russian forces would not only safeguard its sovereignty but also channel resources to long-term global goals of environmental conservation, public health, poverty alleviation, and securing a brighter and more peaceful future for generations to come.

When confronted with dark forces, you have a choice: Will you follow the path of hate, division, anger, and conflict, or will you embrace your own inner truth and humanity of joy, kindness,and compassion?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. I’m excited to announce the release of my latest book, “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living.” If you enjoy it, you might also be interested in my previous works, “Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul” and “Walking on Edge: A Pilgrimage to Santiago.” You can find all of these titles at reputable bookstores near you.

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by | May 8, 2024 · 9:02 am

Is religion stifling spiritual growth?

During my childhood in South Africa, I started having my first doubts about religion when clergy defended from the pulpit the abhorrent policy of apartheid and prevented a devout black priest from attending a church ceremony.

The message of salvation failed to resonate in the obligatory Sunday services which I found to be extraordinarily melancholy and joyless occasions, steeped in empty ritual. It did however serve the purpose of sending me onto a path of intensive ongoing spiritual exploration.

If you are one of those people who left the church in frustration after being shamed for thinking differently or questioning doctrine, then welcome to the club.

For centuries religious institutions have stifled spiritual growth and prevented people from living their divine purpose by telling them how to behave, what to believe, and even what politicians to vote for. This, for me at least, is the ultimate sin for which the church needs to take responsibility.

Spiritual but not religious

Especially younger people in Western countries are seeing through the hypocrisy and leaving the church in droves. But does that mean that more people are becoming agnostic, atheist, or have lost their belief in the divine?

Seven out of ten Americans describe themselves as spiritual in some way including 22 percent who say they are spiritual but not religious.

Even the first Christian communities were often divided between legalistic interpretations of the Gospel and experiential spirituality. There is a lovely passage in Galatians 5 of the New Testament of the Bible where St. Paul criticizes an early church in today’s Turkey.

Paul underscores the centrality of the Gospel, calling on the faithful to practice love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control as opposed to the legalism of what foods to eat and what could and could not be done on a Sabbath.

Jesus, the ultimate revolutionary

Some 2,000 years ago Jesus broke all religious conventions by healing the sick on the Sabbath. He was eventually crucified when openly exposing the hypocrisy of the clergy, by dining with sinners, tax collectors, prostitutes, and other outcasts – who were excluded from the Temple.

Jesus never had plans to establish an institution or a church and would probably be horrified by what people are saying and practicing in his name today. When someone starts confronting me with the words: “Have you found the real Jesus?” it is for me a signal to run.

Temples, churches, and places of worship could be turned into sanctuaries of peace by opening their doors to people of all faiths. Many Christian churches however are stuck in tribalistic doctrine, especially when it comes to who is entitled to holy communion, abortion, or whether women can be ordained as priests.

Thriving churches, however, are vibrant meeting places for people joyfully dancing, singing, praying, and sharing meals together. In a positive sense, they can cement the community spirit, especially in urban environments where we have an epidemic of isolation and loneliness. These church members practice a living faith by visiting the aged, providing comfort to prison inmates, and refugees, and establishing food banks for the hungry.

Spiritual growth comes from a place of brokenness

There is a saying that religion is for those who fear hell while spirituality is for those who have been there. The seeds of spiritual growth come from a place of brokenness.

On my more than a dozen walks on the Camino in Spain I have met countless people who have gone through the hell of losing loved ones, confronted life-threatening illnesses, the dark holes of depression, financial ruin, and relationship breakdown. What I can say about all these people I’ve met on the Camino is that such life-changing events made them come out stronger, forcing them into deep introspection on the purpose and meaning of life.

A cosmic religion of the future

Experiential spirituality is a process whereby the shutters of the soul window are opened. It is a feeling of connection with the divine, and the mystery of creation. The great scientist Albert Einstein once said that the religion of the future will be cosmic in nature. 

“The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavors in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind,” Einstein is quoted as saying.

The Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism, encourages individuals to go beyond the superficial differences among religions and recognize the deeper essence of spirituality and morality that can be found in all faith traditions. 

The fundamental principles of compassion, love, and ethics are not limited to any particular religious tradition or belief system. These principles, the Dalai Lama believes, are universal.

Already early into this year, a record number of pilgrims are walking the Camino. All share the common quest that has resonated through the ages:

“From whence do I hail? Whither do I journey? What purpose guides my days ahead?”

In echoing the ancient Sages and Mystics, emphasizing the innate spirit of man: Where there is a lighthearted spirit of joy, peace, positivity, and kindness, negativity and darkness recede.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. I’m excited to announce the release of my latest book, “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living.” If you enjoy it, you might also be interested in my previous works, “Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul” and “Walking on Edge: A Pilgrimage to Santiago.” You can find all of these titles at reputable bookstores near you.

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by | April 29, 2024 · 8:33 am

Evil is created, not born

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s unprovoked invasion of Ukraine has inflicted devastation upon millions of lives and dramatically altered geopolitical realities. Analysts speculate that Putin’s actions may be rooted in a traumatic childhood, a common denominator of some of the world’s most brutal dictators.

Adverse childhood experiences and trauma are sometimes passed on for generations, and if not transmuted can create particularly destructive adults who are incapable of showing compassion, empathy, or love.

Putin himself is probably unaware that his behavior is driven by unresolved “inner childhood” trauma but his convoluted argument on national television that the invasion of Ukraine was justified to fight “Nazis” offer some clues to his actions.

Ukraine is led by a Jewish leader and Putin’s argument that the country’s government is led by Nazis is absurd. Lately, the argument of fighting “Nazis” in Ukraine has been changed into a fight against the West as a whole “intent on destroying Russia.”

Putin, judging from his many unhinged statements in state-controlled media, obviously feels threatened and considers himself the victim seemingly oblivious to the suffering he has unleashed.

A former profiler from the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), Dr. Jerrold Post, who later became a professor of psychiatry has suggested that Putin’s anxieties possibly stemmed from his early experiences in life.

Putin grew up as a street kid in a rough neighborhood of Leningrad, a city devastated by the Nazis during World War II. Most of the population died in the war and Putin’s father was badly injured, inheriting from his parents their wartime trauma. Growing up without any loving adults around him, Putin was forced to fend for himself on the streets and was badly bullied by other children.

It produced a macho personality, deep distrust of others, unpredictability, and a man willing to advance his own power agenda walking over killing fields in the process. Putin has had his most vocal opponents assassinated or imprisoned, started wars in several neighboring countries, and is sowing division and hate with an information war of fake news on a global level. We are seeing evil at play on multiple levels.

Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com

Dr. Post explained in an essay that Putin’s steely surface is directly linked to being bullied as a child which led him to take up martial arts.

“He (Putin) took up martial arts so as not to be pushed around by other kids. We are seeing the same behavior in his leadership,” Post wrote.

The psychologist Alice Miller writes that there “is no confirmation of the widespread assertion that there are people who are born evil. On the contrary. The deciding factor is the reception they were given when they came into the world and the way they were treated later.”

Her summary of how evil is created and what she learned from the common denominator of childhoods from dictators is particularly poignant:

“These children will tend to glorify the violence inflicted upon them and later take advantage of every possible opportunity to exercise such violence, possibly on a gigantic scale. Hitler, Stalin, and Mao all had particularly traumatic childhoods during which they were repeatedly beaten and shamed by adults.

“Children learn by imitation. Their bodies do not learn what we try to instill in them through words but what they have experienced physically. Battered, injured children will learn to batter and injure others; sheltered, respected children will learn to respect and protect those weaker than themselves. Children have nothing else to go on but their own experiences.”

Our responsibility as a society therefore is to instill in children from an early childhood love, respect, understanding, kindness, and warmth.

The healthier a child’s relationships are at a later stage in life, the higher the possibility of recovery and resilience from trauma.

When a childhood trauma can be resolved at an early stage, there is a greater chance of healing and less risk that a destructive behavior pattern is repeated in adult life.

Related articles:

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. I’m excited to announce the release of my latest book, “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living.” If you enjoy it, you might also be interested in my previous works, “Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul” and “Walking on Edge: A Pilgrimage to Santiago.” You can find all of these titles at reputable bookstores near you.

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