Category Archives: purpose

by | December 8, 2025 · 10:51 am

Redefining Masculinity: Traits Young Men Need Today

It has become a common story: a mother quietly confesses that her 30-something son is still living at home, unemployed, spending most of his days in the basement playing PC games—while his sister is thriving on every level and living the life of her dreams.

Figures from the United States, the United Kingdom, and the European Union reflect a rising trend: an estimated one in five men over 30 still lives in the parental home. Meanwhile, 63 per cent of men aged 18–29 are single, while women are surpassing their male counterparts in both education and income.

My recent Blog post on “Young Men: Angry, Isolated and Armed” touched a nerve because it captured something unfolding quietly but urgently: amid a growing mental-health crisis, young men are withdrawing into isolation or channelling their shame and frustration into outdated, hyper-aggressive role models, many of them fueled by right-wing extremist groups.

Technological and cultural shifts have opened unprecedented opportunities for young women—changes that their mothers and grandmothers could only dream of. Equal opportunity and equal pay were long overdue. But the traditional image of masculinity as the stoic provider, unflinching warrior, emotional brick wall, no longer fits into a modern world in which connection, communication, and adaptability matter more than ever.

So what are young women seeking in a partner today? And how do we define healthy masculinity in this new landscape?

Across many studies, three traits consistently appear as the most desired qualities in a long-term partner: kindness, intelligence, and confidence. They are foundational to stable relationships, but they are also widely misunderstood.

Kindness is not passivity or people-pleasing. It is emotional steadiness, especially in times of struggle or pain. It shows up in how a man treats others, especially family members, friends, and strangers. Men high in kindness respond to stress with calm problem-solving rather than withdrawal or aggression. Kindness begins with self-respect; young men must learn to accept and care for themselves before that inner stability can radiate outward.

Intelligence is not about high IQ scores or academic pedigree. It is the ability to navigate life with self-awareness, adaptability, and emotional understanding. Intelligent partners can manage their emotions, communicate clearly, listen actively, and reflect honestly on their own behaviour. They do not hide behind logic to avoid vulnerability or connection.

Confidence is perhaps the most misinterpreted trait of all. True confidence is quiet, grounded self-assurance—not the loud, performative “alpha” posturing that dominates so much online discourse. Confident men know who they are and do not need to brag, dominate, or seek constant validation. They can have difficult conversations without collapsing into defensiveness. They avoid unnecessary conflict—not from fear, but from maturity. This is where healthy masculine strength shows its true form: protective, steady, and principled.

These three traits aren’t random. Together, they form the bedrock of a healthy long-term relationship: a partner who is emotionally safe, self-aware, capable of repair, and stable during conflict.

To make this more tangible, here are some widely recognised men in entertainment who are publicly perceived as embodying kindness, intelligence, or confidence, while acknowledging we cannot know their private lives:

Keanu Reeves is often cited as the gold standard of humble, grounded kindness, giving generously without seeking credit. Tom Hanks represents steadiness and emotional warmth and is seen as approachable and gracious.

Ethan Hawke, symbolises intelligence as a deeply reflective and thoughtful artist. He writes books, directs films and speaks creatively with nuance. John Krasinski balances his humour with intelligent storytelling.

Men who symbolize grounded confidence are Idris Elba with a calm, steady presence and Mahershala Ali (Green Book) who embodies a quiet power and self-assurance.

The crisis facing young men today is not simply about a lack of economic opportunity; it is a crisis of identity. As society rapidly evolves, many young men are left without a clear model of what it means to be strong, successful, and valued in today’s world. But the path forward is not found in nostalgia for outdated roles or in reactionary anger. It lies in cultivating traits that make relationships—and communities—thrive: kindness, intelligence, and confidence grounded in self-awareness rather than ego.

If young men can embrace these qualities, they won’t just meet the expectations of a fast-changing world—they will exceed them. And in doing so, they will rediscover a masculinity that is not lost, but evolving: resilient, emotionally present, relationally strong, and profoundly needed.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | November 24, 2025 · 8:29 am

Ancestry And The Power of Family Connections

I’ve just returned from a visit to my home country, South Africa, where I spent precious time with my family. In the early 1970s, my grandparents expressed a simple but profound wish: that all siblings and grandchildren gather in one place at least once a year. Remarkably, that tradition has held steady across five decades—interrupted only briefly during the COVID-19 lockdown.

In Africa, as in many traditional cultures, honoring ancestral lineage is a living practice woven into the fabric of family life.

This visit reminded me how deeply our sense of belonging is shaped by the stories, sacrifices, and silent loyalties held within our ancestral line. Knowing where we come from brings coherence to our life story. It roots us not only in a biological lineage but in a web of relationships that existed long before we were born. We carry within us more than DNA. We inherit emotional imprints, unfinished business, unspoken family secrets, but also the resilience, courage, and wisdom of those who walked before us.

Strong scientific research suggests that emotional trauma can leave detectable “marks” on our DNA via epigenetic mechanisms. One of the most well-known studies conducted in this field is by Rachel Yehuda, who analysed DNA from Holocaust victims and their children and grandchildren.

Another powerful therapeutic method in understanding inheritance from past generations is Family Constellations, developed by Bert Hellinger. Family Constellations in a therapeutic setting reveal that each one of us is part of a larger “family soul,” where the fates of earlier generations continue to echo through the lives of the living. Unresolved trauma, exclusion, or injustice in previous generations often resurfaces, seeking recognition. Not out of punishment, but out of love—an unconscious loyalty to those who were forgotten, silenced, or burdened.

Acknowledging the Past

Honouring lineage, therefore, is not about idealizing the past. It is about acknowledging it truthfully. When we make space for the full story—including the painful chapters—we interrupt patterns that no longer serve us. Family Constellations teaches that healing begins when everyone in the family system is given a rightful place, when nothing is denied, and when love can flow freely again.

My own family history bears the marks of migration, political upheaval, cultural transformation, and questions of faith stretching across continents and centuries. There are chapters full of courage and hope, and others marked by sorrow, loss, and difficult choices. These stories live in me. They shape my worldview, my fears, my strengths, and even the questions I wrestle with spiritually.

Understanding our lineage reveals patterns that help us connect with purpose, destiny, and meaning. It doesn’t require us to condone the failures or blind spots of previous generations, but to see them within the consciousness of their time. Every generation faces its own challenges and limitations. By acknowledging this, we free ourselves from repeating what no longer belongs to us and reclaim the gifts that do.

In a world where identity feels increasingly fragmented and dislocated, returning to our ancestral roots offers rootedness and sanctuary. A reminder that we are part of a much larger story—one that began long before us and will continue to echo long after we have gone.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | November 17, 2025 · 3:19 pm

Your Superpower in a Loud Society

„Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”— Aristotle

Standing guard at the doorway of your mind has become essential to maintaining spiritual and mental health in an age where our minds are drowning in information but thirsting for wisdom.

What you feed your mind, you ultimately become. A few careless minutes scrolling on your smartphone can trigger a cascade of emotions that can shape your entire day.

If you are reading this, you are likely one of the few who is actively reflecting on what is happening to us collectively.

Conflict and social disruption will always be part of the human condition—we are imperfect beings, after all. But we also carry within us the profound power of choice.

When the fringe becomes the megaphone

My impression is that the darker impulses of humanity are being amplified through the very technology meant to connect us. Fanatical fringe groups and those consumed by malice spend countless hours attacking others with hate-filled messages. Social media companies do little to halt this simply because emotionally charged content fuels engagement—and engagement fuels profit.

We may believe we are in control of what enters our minds, but for most people this is not true. Social media and search engine algorithms quietly track our behavior and serve up the content we are most likely to consume. In doing so, they shape not only our preferences, but our thinking.

Echo chambers of belief

Beliefs and opinions are constantly being reaffirmed within separate realities—information bubbles where each group hears only the echoes of its own worldview. Families, friendships, communities, and even congregations are fracturing along these invisible but powerful dividing lines.

What we need is a collective pushback from the quiet majority: the rational, thoughtful, grounded people who do not fall for emotional manipulation. That resistance begins by asking simple but profound questions:

Is this information expanding my energy or diminishing it?

Is it helping me grow, evolve, and reach my full potential?

A common misconception is that knowledge, information, and education alone equal wisdom. Yet many highly intelligent people refuse to learn from their mistakes, cling to fixed mindsets, and resist deeper reflection—never realizing they have been backing the wrong horse all along.

The power of who and what you surround yourself with

True wisdom is innate knowledge shaped through experience. It is the quiet confidence of intuition and higher consciousness. When you choose to surround yourself with wise friends, nourish your mind with spiritual teachings, and seek guidance from grounded mentors, you naturally grow in wisdom.

Equally essential is practicing self-care by setting firm boundaries with people, media, and environments that deplete your mind, body, and soul. Self-care is not indulgence—it is alignment. It is taking time for silence, contemplation, and reconnection with your inner life.

Choosing this path gradually fills your life with greater happiness and contentment because you begin building a bridge to your soul. Your actions shift from serving the ego to serving the greater whole.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | October 28, 2025 · 1:25 pm

The Sacred Bond Between Dogs and Humans

Yesterday, I had to make a very difficult decision in letting go of my beloved Dalmatian, Klara, who has been a faithful companion through the seasons of my life for over fourteen and a half years. Her gentle presence, unwavering loyalty, and unconditional love have been a constant reminder of the sacred bond that exists between dogs and their humans.

Dogs are spiritual beings. Their devotion and ability to love without condition form a bridge between the seen and the unseen, assisting us on our soul’s journey in ways we often only begin to understand when they are gone.

Every dog owner who has shared a deep bond with their four-legged friend will tell you that dogs can sense our emotions long before we consciously recognize them ourselves. They seem to perceive energy fields and emotional undercurrents that go beyond human understanding.

The Science Behind Emotional Connection

Interestingly, modern science is beginning to confirm what dog lovers have always known in their hearts. There’s now solid scientific evidence that dogs can detect and respond to human emotions through scent.

Studies using physiological measures — such as cortisol levels, heart rate, and fMRI brain scans — reveal that dogs can literally smell our emotional states. These scent cues influence their own behavior and even their stress responses.

  • A 2018 study published in Animal Cognition exposed dogs to sweat samples from humans who had watched either a scary or a neutral video. Dogs who sniffed “fear sweat” showed higher heart rates, sought comfort from their owners, and avoided strangers.
  • A 2022 study at Queen’s University Belfast trained dogs to distinguish between stress-related sweat and breath samples versus neutral ones. Astonishingly, the dogs identified the “stress” samples correctly 94% of the time after just a few trials.

These findings show that dogs can detect emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness, and happiness through subtle chemical shifts tied to hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. They use this information to adjust their behavior — offering comfort, staying close, or becoming cautious — depending on what we’re feeling.

Dogs as Mirrors of Our Inner World

Beyond their empathy, dogs often mirror aspects of our own nature that invite us to grow.

  • A dog that shows exceptional love may be teaching us to open our hearts more fully.
  • A stubborn dog might be reminding us to loosen our own rigidity.
  • A loyal dog teaches us the deep beauty of steadfastness.

When I had a Rhodesian Ridgeback, it taught me the power of focus and presence. If my mind wandered during our walks, my dog would sense it immediately, pulling in all directions or breaking free to chase a rabbit. The lesson was clear: stay present.

Dogs even reflect us in surprising physical ways. Some adopt the walking gait of their owners — and there are remarkable stories of dogs developing a limp to mirror an injured owner, even walking on three legs in solidarity.

Timeless Companionship

When I was a teenager, I had a fox terrier named Stompie who would wait by the gate each day precisely at the moment I returned from school. Decades later, Klara — who lost her hearing two years ago — would still be waiting on the terrace just minutes before my arrival, somehow sensing I was on my way home. That intuitive bond transcends logic; it belongs to the language of love and connection that dogs seem to speak fluently.

The Neurology of Love

Recent studies show that the dog–owner relationship activates brain regions similar to those seen in the infant–mother bond. In dogs, the reward center of the brain responds more strongly to their owner’s voice than to that of a familiar person. More attached dogs show even greater neural activity when hearing their owner’s praise — evidence that the emotional connection runs deep on both sides.

At Harvard University, researchers are now studying how social bonds between children and their pet dogs develop over time — exploring whether these relationships can help reduce stress for both child and dog alike. The answers may help us better understand what many of us already know intuitively: love shared with a dog is healing, grounding, and transformative.

Klara’s passing has left a void in my home and in my heart but also a profound gratitude for the years we shared. Her spirit, like so many beloved companions before her, reminds me that love never truly leaves. It simply changes form, waiting patiently for us, just as our dogs always have.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | October 20, 2025 · 8:01 am

When a Society Loses its Mind

“It is not famine, not earthquakes, not microbes, not cancer, but man himself who is man’s greatest danger to man, for the simple reason that there is no adequate protection against psychic epidemics, which are infinitely more devastating than the worst of natural catastrophes.”
— Carl Gustav Jung, “The Undiscovered Self” (1957)

There’s a virus spreading faster than any we’ve seen before. It doesn’t attack the body, but the mind.
It’s called collective insanity, where whole groups of people begin to share the same irrational beliefs, emotions, and behaviors, drifting further and further from reality.

This kind of madness takes hold when critical thinking collapses and a free press is silenced or controlled. When truth becomes inconvenient, emotion and ideology take over. Falsehoods repeated often enough start to sound like truth, and soon, everyone is echoing the same slogans without stopping to ask, “Does this make sense?”

Collective insanity usually begins in times of deep economic and social uncertainty. The world feels unstable and frightening. During social unrest, war, economic turmoil, or disease, people crave certainty. They long for simple answers to complex problems, and for someone who promises to make everything right again.

That’s when a charismatic leader often appears, offering clear, emotionally charged explanations that seem to restore order. Dictators like Hitler, Mao, and Mussolini understood this perfectly. They demanded total obedience, convincing millions to surrender personal freedom, conscience, and judgment.

Strong emotions like anger, hate, and retribution spread quickly, almost like an infection of the soul.
We “catch” emotions from one another through something psychologists call emotional contagion. The more a narrative is repeated, the more real it begins to feel.

In authoritarian systems or cult-like movements, people learn to silence their doubts. To question is to risk punishment or exclusion, and so they conform. In time, they begin to believe the very lies they once only pretended to accept. (Experiments have shown this again and again, most famously by Solomon Asch, who proved that people will deny what they see if everyone around them disagrees.)

Collective insanity thrives where access to truth is restricted. It becomes especially dangerous when a small handful of billionaires control the flow of information or when social media algorithms feed us only what confirms our existing beliefs. These echo chambers create entire worlds of illusion, each reinforcing its own version of “truth.”

And once a society defines an enemy — witches, heretics, another race, or “the corrupt elite” — violence begins to feel justified, even noble. We see this pattern today in the growing attacks on politicians, judges, and journalists who dare to hold opposing views. The moral compass spins wildly when truth and empathy are lost.

The Way Out

History shows us that collective insanity inevitably ends, but often only after great suffering and when the truth finally comes out. The cult leader is exposed when there is no longer any denying of his sexual abuse. There is no longer any denying the authoritarian leader’s corruption, inept leadership and personal enrichment.
In Germany, the delusion collapsed when the war was lost, millions of lives had been lost, and the truth could no longer be denied. Putin’s Russia is possibly facing a similar scenario.
In South Africa, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission forced the nation to face the horrors of apartheid, allowing confession, grief, and healing to begin.

The path back to sanity always begins with truth-telling and with courage.
It takes brave souls, compassionate communities, and civic action groups to speak truth, even when it’s unpopular or dangerous. It takes emotional honesty and the willingness to face the grief, guilt, and fear without turning away.

When this is done collectively, something powerful happens. Healing begins.
We rediscover our shared humanity. Sanity and peace begin in the heart of each person who chooses truth, faith, and courage over fear.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | September 8, 2025 · 8:53 am

Finding Meaning in a Nihilistic World

Nihilism is the despair that comes when all higher meaning collapses and life is reduced to emptiness

  – Sören Kierkegaard­ –

The world sometimes feels as if it is unraveling before our eyes. Truth is no longer truth, values are mocked, and meaning itself is up for debate. Kierkegaard warned of this kind of despair and the disease that spreads when a higher purpose is abandoned. In this hollow space, populist narratives rush in, manipulating with outrage, stripping away nuance, and discarding the responsibility for a common humanity.

University of Virginia sociologist James Davison Hunter warns that a new common culture is emerging that is chillingly nihilistic. He defines this culture with the drive to destroy, observing how fear, demonization, and rigid divisions dominate political life, leaving many unable or unwilling to negotiate, compromise, or even recognize shared humanity.

“A nihilistic culture is defined by the drive to destroy, by the will to power. And that definition now describes the American nation,” Hunter writes.

Hunter points out that a politicized identity “is formed and sustained by way of negation. Its emergence as well as its persistence depend on an active and hostile enemy. What naturally follows is rage, hatred, and a thirst for “a capable and wide revenge” that, in a twisted way, becomes a source of meaning—a raison d’être—for those who see themselves as victims.”

In the same vein, Noam Chomsky emphasizes that meaning in life is built through lived experience and collective responsibility. Acts that reduce suffering, preserve dignity, or advance freedom create meaning in a world that can otherwise feel void. For Chomsky, moral clarity stems from recognizing our shared humanity and universal ethical standards, while moral responsibility entails choosing to act on them. Nihilism, despair, or relativism, in his view, are excuses that allow people to avoid this work.

He has also criticized postmodernism for being obscure, relativistic, and politically disengaged—warning that societies risk moral collapse if they lose sight of truth and responsibility.

Modern life compounds these challenges. Constant information, endless obligations, and persistent anxieties can erode spirit and energy. The solution isn’t hustling harder; it’s pausing, reflecting, and breathing deeply. It’s grounding yourself in love and acceptance, trusting that you are guided and protected by reconnecting with your spiritual self.

Recently, the words of American monk and author Brother David Steindl-Rast came to mind. He doesn’t argue against nihilism like philosophers do; he simply invites us to notice this: “It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.” Gratitude, he reminds us, doesn’t depend on joy—it creates it.

In his book Gratefulness: The Heart of Prayer, Steindl-Rast describes gratefulness as “the inner gesture of giving meaning to our life by receiving life as a gift.” It begins with simple surprise—a rainbow, a warm smile, the sound of a bird—opening the door to joy. Being thankful awakens us to the blessings around us and becomes the linchpin of a life animated by faith, lifted by hope, and nurtured by love.

In an age dominated by nihilism, gratitude is an act of resistance. It stitches meaning back into life.

Here’s a simple, actionable antidote to nihilism:

Each morning or evening, pause and reflect on three things from the past 24 hours for which you are truly grateful. Feel the gratitude fully. Notice what shifts in your heart and mind. Watch how even small moments of appreciation counteract negativity, restore meaning, and reconnect you to the life that surrounds you.

Gratitude is more than a practice—it’s a rebellion against emptiness, a return to purpose, and a daily homecoming for the soul.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | August 25, 2025 · 6:00 am

Beyond Noise: Rilke’s Invitation to Stillness

I’ve been contemplating one of Rilke’s poems lately. It has stayed with me because it speaks so directly to our world today, where noise and distractions pull from all directions. Rilke envisions a silence so profound that all the noise, chatter, busyness of the senses, and endless distractions simply fall away.

And, in that stillness, he says, we might finally glimpse the divine with full clarity.

If only it would be, just once, completely quiet…
If only it would be, just once, completely quiet.
If the random, and the approximate
went mute, and the neighbors’ laughter,
if the noise that my senses make
wouldn’t so stubbornly keep me from waking–
Then I could, in a thousandfold
thought, think you right to the edge of you
and have you (just a smile long),
to give to all life as a gift
like a thank-you.

Reading this, I couldn’t help but notice how often we treat noise, chatter, and distraction as normal. Yet maybe our constant talking, scrolling, and background hum are really a way of avoiding something scarier: just sitting with the stillness within.

Stillness can feel so unsettling because it invites us to hear the inner voice we’ve been ignoring, the voice of authenticity, of truth, of God. Rilke reminds me that silence isn’t empty at all. It’s a threshold. If we dare to step into it, we may discover presence, gratitude, and a deeper connection with life than all our distractions could ever offer.

You could also take a walk in nature, opening the senses to natural sounds that are different from noise. Birdsong, the waters of a creek, the rustling of leaves in the trees—all of it forms a beautiful symphony. In those moments, you can feel yourself connected to a larger whole and begin to perceive the subtle whispers of the universe.

So here’s a simple practice: find just five minutes today to sit in stillness. Turn off the phone, close your eyes, and notice the quiet beneath the noise. At first it may feel uncomfortable, but stay with it. Listen for that subtle inner voice—the one that whispers rather than shouts. You may find, as Rilke did, that in the stillness something sacred begins to stir.

Reino Gevers – Host of the LivingToBe podcast

P.S.: If you enjoyed this article, you might be interested in my latest book, Sages, Saints, and Sinners. Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever good books are sold.

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by | May 4, 2025 · 11:31 am

When Life Hurts, Purpose Heals

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Victor Frankl

In just nine days after being liberated from a Nazi death camp, Viktor Frankl poured his unimaginable ordeal into one of the most profound testaments to human resilience and the indomitable spirit ever written.

Upon his return to Vienna he found that his wife and almost entire family had died in concentration camps.

Most people would have been broken by such devastating pain, but Frankl managed to turn his suffering into a powerful pschological and spiritual mission.

His book: Man‘s Search for Meaning serves as a powerful guideline for all people currently experiencing almost insurmountable difficulties.

Frankl firmly believed that meaning can be found even in the most harsh conditions.

Purpose

Essential for Frankl was a firm belief in the Why.

Knowing your „why” helped people survive even the most brutal conditions, Frankl found. For him, it was the hope of seeing his wife again and the desire to rewrite his lost manuscript on his logotherapy psychological theory.

Detachment

He learned to detach from his suffering by focusing on memories, nature, and moments of beauty or spiritual reflection. He found that even in the camps, one could choose a different mindset—what he called the “last of human freedom.

Helping Others

As a psychiatrist, Frankl often counseled fellow prisoners, helping them find meaning and hope. This act of service gave him a sense of dignity and reinforced his own resilience.

Focusing on the Present

Frankl adapted to the harsh camp routines by focusing on small daily tasks and not letting himself be overwhelmed by fear of the future.

Belief

Recent groundbreaking studies reveal that individuals who anchor their lives in the belief in a higher power demonstrate significantly greater resilience in navigating and transforming adversity.

Evil has a persistent way of manifesting itself, sometimes infecting entire nations and societies—as seen in Nazi Germany. It can appear all-powerful, overwhelming any hope for goodness to prevail.

Yet, history shows that in the darkest hours, seeds of light and righteousness are quietly sown, preparing the way for a new dawn. Evil, by its nature, violates the deeper laws of creation. It tends to overreach—and in doing so, ultimately sows the seeds of its own destruction.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my very latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners Get it today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and where all good books are sold.

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by | April 1, 2025 · 9:38 am

Why we need each other: The longevity secret

“Consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We’ve learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives which have no confidence or purpose.” Jimmy Carter

We’ve never been more connected and more alone. In the race for success, self-expression, and consumerism, something vital has been lost: deep, meaningful community relationships.

Active participation in a community can add years to your life and improve your overall well-being. Humans thrive when they feel at home in communities that serve each other.

Former U.S. president Jimmy Carter was well aware of this, serving his community well into old age and reminding us of our true strength and values.

Meanwhile, depression and anxiety rates are rising significantly in urban areas. Research shows that people in cities are more likely to suffer from mental health issues compared to those in rural areas.

In big cities such as Stockholm, Berlin, and London about half the population live in single-households with high density housing, and transient populations of students and professionals leading to weaker social bonds.

The “Blue Zones” and community bonds

However, in those parts of the world, the so-called “blue zones”, where people live the longest strong community bonds are a common denominator.

In Okinawa, Japan, the elders have moais or tight-knit social circles that provide lifelong support. In Sardinia, Italy and many other southern European regions, inter-generational living keeps elders socially engaged.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been running for over 80 years, consistently finds that close relationships and strong social bonds are the most significant predictors of long-term health and happiness.

On my more than a dozen pilgrimage walks through rural northwestern Spain I have repeatedly witnessed the strong community spirit in the villages and towns. Regular religious and cultural festivals are held to celebrate local saints or historical events. People of all generations are strongly engaged in these events, providing purpose and meaning.

The Power of Social Connection

  • Studies show that strong social ties can increase lifespan by up to 50 percent compared to those with weak social connections.
  • Loneliness and isolation are as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Close relationships help reduce stress, improve mental health, and boost the immune system.

Cultivating strong social ties is one of the most effective ways to enhance health and happiness over time. Faith, purpose, and community engagement are particularly strong factors for resilience and longevity. When people look after each other they are more likely to stay physically active, eat healthier, and seek medical care when needed.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor –Speaker

If you enjoyed this article you might be interested in my latest book: Sages, Saints and Sinners to be launched globally on April 8th, 2025.

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by | February 17, 2025 · 10:13 am

This too shall pass

“Like river tides and autumn leaves,
All things must drift, all things must weave.
No hand can hold the fleeting dawn,
For what is here will soon be gone.” — Unknown

External events, such as elections and economic cycles, can easily consume all your attention, pulling you away from your true purpose and inner joy. You may perceive the world as chaotic, making it harder to focus on the person you are meant to become.

If recent political events have left you feeling disheartened, powerless, or overwhelmed, know that you are not alone. Take comfort in the timeless wisdom: “This too shall pass.” Challenges are temporary, and no moment—good or bad—lasts forever. Stay grounded, keep perspective, and trust in your resilience.

The origins of the expression are unclear. According to Jewish folklore, King Solomon is said to have asked his advisors for something that would keep him grounded. They presented him with a ring inscribed with “Gam zeh ya’avor” (גם זה יעבור), which translates as “This too shall pass.”

The phrase has also been linked to several other traditions and later gained popularity in Western culture, and was famously quoted by Abraham Lincoln in a speech in 1859.

Lincoln made his remarks at the Wisconsin State Fair in Milwaukee, at a time of looming civil war, and rising political divisions over the slavery issue. He referenced an Eastern monarch who sought a phrase from advisors that would always be true in both good and bad times.

The answer he received was “This too shall pass away.” Lincoln used this phrase to highlight the idea that all circumstances—whether good or bad—are temporary.

The phrase serves as a powerful reminder to the wealthy, the powerful, and the arrogant that humility is essential, and success can be fleeting.

Just as nature moves through its cycles, life is impermanent, with good and bad times constantly shifting. Those who remain attached to power and wealth are especially vulnerable to these unpredictable forces, much like the changing seasons. They cannot be controlled.

Seizing back control when life becomes challenging

In the winter season of life, external events can at times be very challenging. But there are ways of how you can seize back control by focusing on those things that you can control:

  • Accepting a reality does not mean that you approve of it
  • You can control your response and your emotions to external events
  • Remind yourself that nothing lasts forever including challenging times

You can reframe your perspective into a question:

What can I learn from this and what opportunity may arise from this situation?

This is a time to build resilience by strengthening body, mind, and spirit. Falling into despondency and negativity will not serve you well. Try limiting your exposure to negativity such as negative social media and news events. Surround yourself with positive people and do things that boost your vibrational energy.

Practicing Gratitude

Being grateful for those things that are going well in your life can be a powerful tool of reframing emotions and feelings. Write down every day three things you can be truly grateful for.

Letting go of attachments to beliefs, perspectives, and emotions is a journey. Realigning with the rhythms of nature—listening to the wind, the rustling leaves, birds singing or the gentle flow of water—can be profoundly healing.

A deep walking meditation in nature allows for a reset, grounding yourself in the present moment. Whenever you feel weighed down, shift your focus to your breath. With each inhale, reconnect to your true self; with each exhale, release what no longer serves you.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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