Category Archives: Uncategorized

by | June 26, 2023 · 5:11 pm

Beyond Religion?

Membership of Christian churches and attendance of services is falling dramatically in many countries. But does that mean that more people are becoming agnostic, atheist or have lost their belief in a God or the divine?

On my current pilgrimage walk on the Camino de Santiago in northwestern Spain, we passed through several villages and towns on a Sunday. All these beautiful and ancient temples of worship, some dating back to Celtic times and early Christianity, had their doors shut.

One church did happen to be open but a man shooed us pilgrims away, making it clear that we were not welcome to have a look inside. I do normally enjoy sitting in these sacred places, meditating and feeling into the powerful energy fields that they emanate.

It hit a sore point to be rudely turned away. It symbolized for me everything that has gone wrong with conventional religion, fixated on empty external ritual, and controlling doctrine.

Churches and temples should be open for people of all denominations as long as they show respect, giving everyone sanctuary seeking a quiet space from the noisy and distractive pull of the external world.

For centuries religions from all the major faiths have vilified, ostracized, burned at the stake and shamed those that did not conform or belong. At the same time the hypocrisy of the clergy regarding sexual abuse, financial misdemeanors and interference in politics is laid bare like a festering open wound.

Jesus never had plans to establish an institution or a church. His criticism of the Pharisees, the clergy, and their hypocrisy was especially directed at those leaders burdening the faithful with strict rules and regulations while showing little love, mercy and compassion to those in need.

There is a saying that religion is for those who fear hell while spirituality is for those who have been there. On my more than a dozen walks on the Camino I have met countless people who have gone through the hell of losing loved ones, confronted life-threatening illnesses, the dark holes of depression, financial ruin and relationship breakdown. What I can say about all of them is that these life-changing events made them come out stronger and forced them into deep introspection on the purpose and meaning of life.

Experiential spirituality is a process whereby the shutters of the soul window are gradually opened up. It is a feeling of connection with the divine, and the mystery of creation. The great scientist Albert Einstein once said that the religion of the future will be cosmic in nature. 

“The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious. It is the underlying principle of religion as well as all serious endeavor in art and science. He who never had this experience seems to me, if not dead, then at least blind,” Einstein is quoted as saying.

The Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism, encourages individuals to go beyond the superficial differences among religions and recognize the deeper essence of spirituality and morality that can be found in all faith traditions. 

The fundamental principles of compassion, love, and ethics are not limited to any particular religious tradition or belief system. These principles, the Dalai Lama believes, are universal.

Among the hundreds of thousands of people who walk the Camino each year there are devout Catholics and people of all faiths but also manyspiritual seekers asking the age old question:

Where do I come from? Where am I going? What am I doing with the rest of the days of my life?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | June 20, 2023 · 7:35 am

Finding purpose by realigning with nature

Taking a walk each day and realigning with the green and blue spaces of nature is very likely to bring about multiple positive shifts in your body, mind, and spirit. We are gradually becoming aware that we have lost something essential en route to modernity.

We have reshaped the external environment with roads, cities, and buildings in a way that is in disharmony with nature and harming our own health and well-being. It is time for a major rethink.

A study of 300 cities released by North Carolina State University in 2019 revealed that there was fewer crime and aggression in city areas close to parks and green areas.

According to Lincoln Larson, assistant professor at the university, “We learned that more green space was associated with lower risk of crime across neighborhoods in all 300 cities we studied. Burglaries, larceny, auto theft, and other property crimes occur less often in greener neighborhoods in every city in our sample. Violent crimes like murder and armed robbery were also less common in greener neighborhoods in nearly all the cities we studied.”

Being closer to nature reduces stress, bringing neighbors together and creating a sense of community.

The energy of subduing and conquering nature is a hallmark of the ruling patriarch. The male energy is rational, while the female energy is receptive and more intuitive. An imbalance between the male and the female aspect, the Yin and the Yang, has been responsible for an exploitation and declaration of war on Mother Earth.

It reached its pinnacle in the Inquisition of the Middle Ages when hundreds of thousands of women were burned at the stake. Women were much more closely aligned with nature, especially if they were healers and midwives. But their secret knowledge, passed on over generations in the female lineage, obviously was a threat to the male patriarch.

At a time of great poverty, war and diseases like the plague, these women often were at the forefront of healing, comforting and helping the distressed. Fennel seeds were great at releasing cramps, digestive problems, and increasing the milk supply of breastfeeding mothers. Mint leaves were used as antidepressants and for the treatment of asthma and nausea.

By the 15th century, the church started intervening, forcing the midwives to report every birth to the local parish, especially illegitimate and retarded children.

With their knowledge of contraception, and how to terminate pregnancies, the church saw the midwives as a huge threat to their authority, and sexual morale.

The herbal healers or “witches” and midwives lived dangerous lives in the 15th century as the church started dominating every aspect of the human life from childbirth to death. The Christian cross became the symbol for the suppression and oppression of the female aspect. Women were excluded from the priesthood and holding any higher rank in the church until this day in many denominations.

Interestingly, in the Spanish province of Galicia, we find a version of the cross that finds its roots in Celtic, pre-Christian times. On the one side we find the crucified Christ, while on the other side stands the female goddess, the Madonna. We have the male and female aspects equally depicted on both sides of the cross.

The discovery of ancient Christian scripts, including the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Gospel of St. Thomas, tells us that there was a time when women were at the forefront of spreading the early Christian gospels. Mary Magdalene, one of the apostles closest to Jesus, played a major leadership role in early Christianity.

There is no historical record that Mary Magdalene was ever a former prostitute possessed by demons as claimed in some of the scriptures.

Around the period 500 AD, the male patriarch systems started throwing the Yin and Yang, the natural complementation of energy between the male and the female, seriously out of balance. It has had a profound effect on the world that we have today.

The dominating male aspect has undoubtedly led to huge technological and material advances, unimaginable to the generations before us. But it has come at a huge price where we are exploiting Mother Earth to such an extent that most species, including our own, will not survive without a major shift in human consciousness.

It’s a common belief that during times of crisis, the thin veneer of civilization collapses with most people falling into egotistical and anti-social behavior.

But Dutch philosopher Rutger Bregman, author of the bestseller Utopia for Realists: And How We Can Get There, claims that humans are fundamentally good and want to do good.

“For every panic buyer, there are a thousand nurses working as hard as they can. For every hoarder, there are a thousand civilians setting up WhatsApp groups and Facebook groups and people in the neighborhood trying to help each other. I’ve been really astonished to see this explosion of cooperation and altruism in a very short period of time,” Bregman said in an interview with Deutsche Welle.

A global crisis such as the pandemic also leads to the realization that other global issues, such as the climate crisis that affects us all, can only be solved in cooperation at a global level.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...This is an extract from my new book “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living”. It can now be preordered as a Kindle edition on Amazon. Paperback and Hardback versions will be available in July 2023.

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by | June 13, 2023 · 5:09 am

Narcissism and the wounded inner child

“Many an adult is carrying within the burden of a wounded child”

I’m indeed fortunate to be living in Mallorca, one of the world’s most beautiful islands and a favorite European holiday destination. But these weeks in summer the most popular places are better avoided with some visitors showing little regard for local customs and the public space.

The partying, drinking, and drunken brawls are part of a mindset that seems to say: “I’ve come here to have fun. I will do as I please. I will throw my trash all over the place and urinate where I want to.” Local hoteliers and restaurant workers report that the behavior has never been so bad and we haven’t even reached the peak of the holiday season.

Such bad behavior not only shines a bad light on the countries these people come from but leads to increasingly restrictive local bylaws such as a ban on selling even non-alcoholic beverages or snacks at the beachside, and ever heavier spot fines. Mallorcans are renowned for their hospitality but there is now an understandably increasing pushback to clamp down on bad behavior.

I’ve often wondered why an increasing number of adults seem to lose the plot, have no situational awareness, and lack the most basic courtesy, especially when visiting a foreign country. The foundational stones of adult life are of course in many ways determined in early childhood, setting you up for success or failure in later life. But no matter what baggage from the past you are carrying on your shoulders you still have the power of choice.

Beyond the veil of much of the narcissism we find in today’s culture is the hurt inner child that has either suffered physical or emotional abuse or experienced a lack of emotional support. The narcissist suffers typically from a lack of self-esteem that constantly seeks validation in the center stage.

Emotional support, attention, and affection are crucial for a child’s healthy development. The wounded child may have been an unwanted child, having received little physical or verbal expressions of love and affection.

One or both of the caregivers may have been preoccupied, unavailable, and emotionally distant for much of the child’s life. They turn into adults who may have difficulty regulating their emotions and struggle with their interpersonal relationships or may suffer from anxiety and depression.

Self-care and healing the inner child

Healing the wounded inner child is key to unleashing your creative powers, self-esteem, and soul-driven purpose. It is never a one-off process but can be a lifetime journey of self-reflection and self-compassion.

The worst you can do is fall into the blame game, making your past responsible for all the mishaps in your life. The healing process starts by taking a different perspective and accepting the feelings and emotions from your childhood.

You can connect with your inner child by meditating on a picture of yourself at an age that was particularly hurtful or traumatic. Talk to that younger version of yourself offering parental comfort, support, and understanding that it didn’t have at the time. It is extremely helpful to start the process with the help of an experienced mentor or therapist.

Photo by JoEllen Moths on Pexels.com

Engage in activities that nurture the joy of the inner child

Even if most of your childhood was a long dark chapter, there were also moments where you experienced joy. Find out what gave you joy in the early stages of your life and whether you can expand on that in your adult life. Maybe it was playing with a favorite pet, reading a particular book, or watching a particular fairytale movie.

Setting boundaries

The hurt inner child has never learned to set healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries goes hand-in-hand with self-care. The more you start loving and practicing self-care with your inner child, the more you will become aware of what expands your energy and what sucks away at your energy level. Practice saying no to persons when you feel overwhelmed, when something doesn’t align with your values, or when you simply need your own space.

Healing the wounded inner child is a deeply personal journey, and different techniques or approaches may resonate with different individuals. Trust your instincts and the voice of your inner child.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...My new book “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living” can now be preordered as a Kindle edition on Amazon. Paperback and Hardback versions will be available in July 2023.

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by | June 6, 2023 · 6:13 am

Nature and purposeful living

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man. Time is a game played beautifully by children.”—Heraclitus.

The seasons of life are in a constant state of expansion and contraction. Like the systolic and diastolic beating of a heart, we cannot escape the impermanence of life. During spring there is birth, growth in the summer, harvest in fall, and withdrawal in winter.

The notion that we are an integral part of nature and its natural laws was never questioned by the hunter and gatherer societies, and even so-called “primitive” societies today.

The ancient Chinese teaching of the Five Elements is very much about yielding to and synchronizing with the natural cycle of the seasons. The tenets of this philosophy is rooted in Taoist philosophy, dating back thousands of years when humanity did not see the world around us as a separate entity.

Timing with nature’s seasonal cycles

Great respect was given to the timing and expressed in elaborate ritual. There was a time to plant, a time to harvest, and a time to rest. This is still applicable today even though the necessity is clouded by the demands of modern life and its luring distractions.

Modern man has severed his ties to the natural order of things in his mad striving for material wealth and prosperity. Cut off from his spiritual roots and the natural order of things, he is filled with a deep sense of loneliness and fear, which seeks compensation for that void in boundless greed and substance abuse.

We know from numerous neurological studies that the sounds of nature, green meadows, and trees, or the gentle sound of waves breaking on the shore calm the mind.

The permanent hum of traffic noise in cities and crowded living conditions in the concrete jungles of an urban environment is alien to the human condition.

So what has led us to today’s disconnect? Paradoxically, religion, which is meant to align us with God or the universal intelligence has been abused in large parts by the institutions.

The Role of concept-based religion

A misunderstood Christianity has played a huge role in the estrangement of man from the natural world. The mystical part of Christianity was exorcised in the Council of Nicaea in AD 325. Roman Emperor Constantine I presided over the Council which defined the Christian belief and doctrine. While the mystical part of early Christianity left much room for individual spiritual experience, the doctrine clearly defined what had to be believed and what religious rules had to be followed. One of the consequences is that for centuries Christianity has had a false understanding of man’s role in nature based on the misinterpretation of the Old Testament in Genesis 1:28, in which man is given the cultural mandate to subdue and rule over the earth.

As in ancient Chinese philosophy, the old Greek, Egyptian, and Roman worlds, applied nature’s golden rule in the arts, architecture, and many other endeavors, striving to create synchronicity with nature.

On a collective level, we have to face the question of whether we have enough time to transform a system based on greed and exploitation, where only a small minority reap the rewards, into a value-based restorative nature-based system that serves the betterment of all living beings.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...This article is an extract from my new book “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living”. You can preorder a Kindle edition on Amazon. Both Kindle and Paperback versions will be available in July 2023.

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by | April 5, 2023 · 5:05 pm

The Mystery of Easter and the Shroud of Turin

The Shroud of Turin believed to depict an image of Jesus continues to baffle researchers. Neither a painting nor a photograph, its origins remain unclear. Scientists have undertaken rigorous research, employing methods such as short bursts of ultraviolet light and laser technology to unravel its secrets. At the same time, it continues to keep believers in awe.

The impossibility of recreating a forgery

The scientists managed to re-create a small section of the cloth with some of the properties at a microscopic level, concluding that “some form of electromagnetic energy” such as a flash of light created the image.   Ultraviolet lasers were not available to medieval forgers thus opening the possibility that the Shroud is actually Jesus’ burial cloth, with the image created at the point of resurrection.

Some ancient paintings depict the Roman soldiers guarding the grave of Jesus being blinded by a flash of lightning as he rises from the grave but there is no mention of this in the biblical scriptures. The story of the crucifixion and the resurrection is the reason why we celebrate Easter in the Christian tradition.

Why we celebrate Easter

The exact details of the events after Jesus’ crucifixion vary slightly. After dying on the cross his followers wrapped him in a cloth and buried him in a tomb. A group of women went to the tomb on the third day to anoint his body with spices. When they arrived, they found the stone covering the entrance to the tomb had been rolled away and the tomb was empty. An angel appeared to them and told them that Jesus had risen from the dead.

Later that same day, Jesus appeared to two of his followers on the road to Emmaus, and then to the rest of his disciples, who were gathered in a locked room. He showed them his wounds and ate with them to prove that he was not a ghost, but had risen bodily from the dead.

One of the Italian scientists who examined the shroud, Professor Paolo Di Lazzaro, said:

“When one talks about a flash of light being able to color a piece of linen in the same way as the shroud, discussion inevitably touches on things like miracles and resurrection. But as scientists, we were concerned only with verifiable scientific processes. We hope our results can open up a philosophical and theological debate but we will leave the conclusions to the experts, and ultimately to the conscience of individuals.”

Carbon dating tests conducted in 1988 indicated that the shroud was created between 1260 and 1390 AD, leading many to conclude that it was a medieval forgery. However, these results have been disputed by other researchers who argue that if it was a forgery it would have to be possible to replicate it easily with modern methods.

Fake or forgery?

During the Middle Ages, the trade in Christian relics was a thriving industry that involved the buying, selling, and exchanging of objects that were believed to have belonged to saints, martyrs, or other holy figures. These objects included fragments of bone, pieces of clothing, and other personal items, which were often housed in ornate reliquaries and venerated by believers as objects of spiritual power. The Crown of Thorns that was placed on Jesus’ head as a means of torture was housed in the Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris, where it has been on public display since the 19th century and dramatically rescued during the fire of April 2019.

The bones that are believed to be those of St. James the Apostle, also known as Santiago, are kept in the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Spain. According to tradition, the remains of St. James were discovered in the 9th century by a hermit named Pelagius, who saw a bright light shining over a field near the town of Iria Flavia. The discovery of the bones led to the establishment of the shrine in the Cathedral of Santiago which has become one of the most important pilgrimage sites in Europe.

Trade in religious relics goes back to the earliest times. Relics were considered sacred objects imbued with spiritual powers, possessing a direct connection to the divine and serving as a conduit for blessings, healing protection, and power.

Is it important whether the bones of St. James are real or whether the Shroud of Turin is an authentic image of Jesus? What we do know is that some of the world’s most beautiful architectural creations have been built to house relics. As long as there is a mysterious aura about them we will continue to be stimulated by them on a deep spiritual level.

For most of the tens of thousands of pilgrims who have rediscovered the ancient pilgrimage route to Santiago, it is unimportant whether the apostle ever lived or was buried in Spain. The shared experience of veneration, the common search for meaning, and the individual spiritual experience while walking on an ancient path is of greater significance.

Likewise, the Shroud of Turin with the life-size image of the man with stains of blood on the cloth, appearing to be consistent with the wounds that Jesus suffered on the cross, will continue to fascinate. Believers feel a deep sense of awe and reverence, leading to peace, comfort, and inspiration during difficult times. More than ever we need those quiet places of power to explore the inner world of who we really are.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. I’m excited to announce the release of my latest book, “The Turning of the Circle: Embracing Nature’s Wisdom for Purposeful Living.” If you enjoy it, you might also be interested in my previous works, “Deep Walking for Body, Mind and Soul” and “Walking on Edge: A Pilgrimage to Santiago.” You can find all of these titles at reputable bookstores near you.

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by | March 21, 2023 · 5:27 am

Debunking the myths on job burnout

Burnout is a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion after prolonged exposure to emotional or physical stressors. It can affect entire institutions and wreak havoc on personal lives to the extent that individuals in extreme cases are no longer able to cope with the challenges of a normal life.

But there appear to still be many myths around the topic, especially in the corporate world where those affected by job burnout are regarded as lacking in stress resilience.

Chronic burnout can include a high level of stress hormones such as glucocorticoids, catecholamines, and prolactin. These are needed for the body’s natural fight and flight response but if you have too much of them it can lead to serious health problems and even life-threatening diseases because vital organs don’t get the necessary nutrients.

Having spent more than half of my life in an employment capacity in the media industry, I went through the complete cycle of passionately enjoying my job to utter frustration and pulling the plug shortly before burnout.

One of the most common myths is that job burnout is related to work stress caused by short deadlines, overly high productivity demands, and unrealistic management or customer demands.

This is only part of the story. If you are passionate about your job and have a high degree of independence in deciding when to do what and for him, you will not perceive stress as such. Instead, you will feel pumped up, and energetically vibrant. We all know that feeling, of having accomplished something in a game or sporting event. It is the same feeling you will be getting if you truly feel that you are doing something that is aligned with your soul purpose.

The modern-day working place has become essentially dehumanized

Most corporate jobs have been dehumanized to such an extent that individuals find themselves stuck in big offices with several hundred other people. Furnishings are standardized and employees are prohibited from decorating their desk with personal items such as pics of their loved ones. Employees don’t burn out overnight. It is mostly a process lasting several years where employees consistently lose the sense of meaning for what they are doing and their personal value system is in disconnect from the values of the company.

In my case, I became a journalist in apartheid South Africa, feeling the need to give a voice to those suffering discrimination. Later , after joining an international news agency in Germany I was able to write extensively on topics close to my heart such as Third World and environmental issues. Journalism, in some media at least, was tasked with informing, educating and acting as a watchdog over those in power. The disillusion began when more and more media shifted from education to entertainment of the worst kind. Today we witness the absurdity of mass media clouding the minds of millions with information trash and gossip. It is much the same disconnect when a nurse or doctor is prescribed how much time they can spend with a patient or a social worker or a priest spends more time dealing with bureaucracy than with real people in need.

The body tells the truth

At some point your inner soul truth will send out warning signals that you have climbed up the wrong ladder. Your body reacts with sleepless nights, digestive problems or other ailments. But you will ignore those early warning signs and push them away until you can no longer ignore them or you have a life-threatening diagnosis that acts as a wake-up call where you change everything.

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Stress always starts with a thought until the thought gets trapped in the treadmill of the monkey mind in constant fear of what might happen in the future like losing your job. Work should be one of the most enjoyable things you do because you spend most of your life working. It makes an enormous difference to your overall happiness if you are working for a living or really enjoying what you are doing. In some cultures spared from the industrial revolution, people still work sixteen-hour days. But it could also be argued that they never work. Daily chores, family life, and free time are closely intertwined.

According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” the more a job inherently resembles a game – “with variety, appropriate and flexible challenged, clear goals, and immediate feedback – the more enjoyable it will be regardless of the worker’s level of development.”

As human beings we evolve and grow with the challenge, the resistance, the problems and the transmuting thereof.

Mental and physical exhaustion seems to lie more in the employee’s relation to the job, how he/she perceives personal goals in relation to it.

Burnout and shift in consciousness

Burnout can be addressed with a shift in consciousness. Conflict at the workplace often arises when there is poor leadership. Employees are not trusted in doing what they can as best as they can. Better communication, better organization, delegation of responsibility and improved self-care habits can do much to alleviate internal and external stressors.

If you spend most of your leisure time in the passive consumption of negativity on mass media, it will absorb a large portion of your lifeblood and energy. You will be much more happy and content in spending quality time with good friends, family and community.

At the job many people experience the opportunity of using their skillset. They are challenged and validated and this will make them feel happy, strong and satisfied. Paradoxically while spending their free time these same people will feel sad, weak and dull because of the way they are spending their time.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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by | March 14, 2023 · 7:25 pm

Your community: A key to healthy living

When scientists first published their studies on the earth’s five blue zones where people live the longest most follow-up reports picked up on the nutritional aspect. But a common denominator less debated was that people in all the five regions felt a strong sense of belonging and purpose within healthy and supportive communities.

We are hard-wired as social beings. The people we surround ourselves with have a much higher impact on our health and happiness than previously thought. Your tribe can either pull you down or lift you up. (see my previous blog)

Creating strong social networks

Strong community ties are key to longevity, according to Dan Buettner, author of “The Blue Zones”. The five blue zones were identified as communities living in Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California.

The Okinawans, for example, are known to create strong social networks that provide financial and emotional support to their community members.  

Good communities prescribe healthy habits

People in longevity cultures socialize with one another, reinforcing prescribed behaviors such as adopting good nutritional habits and exercise.

Sardinians and many Mediterranean cultures end their day in the local bar where they meet friends and family. Village festivals and harvests require all members of the community to participate.

Professor Lisa Berkman of Harvard University did a nine-year study in which she found that the impact of marital status, friendships, and the level of voluntary work in clubs or associations all had an impact on how well people age.

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But how do I identify and become a member of a healthy tribe:

  • The people you most associate with in your inner circle should be people who uplift, validate, and support you emotionally.
  • Avoid people who are notoriously focused on the negative and emanate permanent grumpiness. Buettner writes in “The Blue Zones. “Of the centenarians interviewed there wasn’t a grump in the bunch… Likable old people are more likely to have a social network, frequent visitors, and de facto caregivers.”
  • Spending time together each day with a positive activity such as walking can make a hugely positive impact on your life. Frédéric Gros, a professor of walking, says: “Walking is exploring the mystery of presence. Presence to the world, to others and to yourself… You discover when you walk that it emancipates you from space and time, from… vitesse.” So-called “philosophy walks” are designed to stimulate deeper thinking while out walking in nature. 

Some people might argue that maintaining a strong family bond is good for you. But for some people sharing time with their biological families makes them feel unhappy, stressed, and unhappy. Human families are extremely complex and interactive.

Whether it’s your biological family or your chosen tribe or community. It should give you a sense of fulfillment, happiness, and a generally positive feeling of being liked and accepted just as you are with all your light, shadow, and uniqueness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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by | March 7, 2023 · 7:24 am

Is your tribe pulling you down?

Imagine human life eons ago when small communities mainly lived in caves. Exclusion from the protection of the community meant certain death from wild animals or the cold. It is part of our DNA to be seen and validated by those closest to us. It gives us that sense of belonging. But what if your tribe is pulling you down from your true destiny?

We have all at some point in our lives felt the devastating feeling of loneliness and fear that comes with bullying and emotional abuse, either by close family members, fellow students at school, or on social media. Compromise after compromise is made to please our tribe, to the point where we are denying our very essence.

The urge to serve family and community is deeply ingrained. It gives purpose and meaning. Conforming to the rules, habits, opinions, and beliefs of those closest to us is the glue that cements the tribal bonds. In the Iberian peninsular, where I live, ancient rituals are very much part of the common bond. Village festivals and the singing and dancing at these celebrations are very much part of daily life.

In loving, functional communities people take care of each other. Elderly people find respect and help. Raising and educating children is seen as not only a parental but a communal responsibility. People can depend on each other when in need.

The Spanish town of Najera celebrating its history with an open-air theatre performance

In our narcissistic culture individual needs have however very much taken precedence over the needs of the village community. The tribe is mainly a virtual one with members defining their rituals and sharing information online. Where in the past the tribe was limited to a few dozen people, it can today be millions. Rumor and gossip that was at most shared in the village could in today’s world be read by millions of people in many parts of the world. Many a famous person can testify to the devastating effect fake news or online bullying has had on their lives.

Toxic emotions cloud reality

While love and empathy enrich human life on all levels, the opposite unfortunately is also true. The shadow side of human nature can easily be manipulated by the emotions of hate, fear, and anxiety. Dark emotions can completely cloud the perception of reality which is why it is such a powerful manipulative tool in the hands of cult leaders and political demagogues. You might not even notice that you have become part of a deeply dysfunctional tribe as you find every excuse possible to justify the actions of the captain steering the ship toward the iceberg.

As you elevate to higher consciousness in training your awareness and sense of presence, you will inevitably find members of your tribe trying to pull you back down to the lower vibrational frequency. Tribes don’t tolerate behavior or attitudes that differ from the tribal norms. They define themselves in “separateness” from the other and no better way to do that is by making the other tribe your sworn enemy. An enemy cannot be loved and needs to be crushed and eliminated. There is no better way to cement tribal bonds than to have a common enemy.

What is a healthy tribe?

Dysfunctional families, football teams, companies, and even nations ultimately destroy themselves because they have not understood the principle of life and creation. All of life exists in a complex web of inter-relationship and co-dependency. Healthy nations and tribes cooperate with each other for the greater benefit of all.

Fascism feeds on hate, division, and destruction of everything that does not comply with its own ideology and belief. The opposite of fascism is holistic by nature in practicing compassion, liberty, and freedom for all.

If you belong to a healthy tribe you are one of the lucky few. People will see who you are. They will support and celebrate your victories and accomplishments together with you. They will validate you wherever possible. Criticism will come in a positive helpful way out of mutual respect. It is what the tribal chiefs of the most highly successful companies have understood. If you treat your employees with respect and dignity your business will flourish because customers and business partners just enjoy doing business with people who have good vibes.

The negative emotions of hate, anger and fear will make you sick while positive feelings such as empathy, compassion, elatedness, freedom, and humaneness have multiple positive effects on body, mind, and soul. Thought leader Jim Rohn once famously said that you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. Sometimes it is necessary to take a long hard look at the people you spend most of your time with and to set boundaries for your own health.

If you have grown up in an emotionally neglected or abusive family or your current family or “friendship” tribe is dysfunctional, it might just be time to move on as a matter of urgency and survival. Loyalty to a tribe should not stand in your way to living a life of happiness and bliss. You have been given the power of choice. You can choose to have a different tribe.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | February 13, 2023 · 1:24 pm

Escaping the treadmill of the monkey mind

One of the tragedies of the human condition is being stuck in the „monkey mind“ that is dancing in thoughts of what was and is no more and the fear and anxiety of what the future might hold. 

Thoughts trigger emotions and emotions trigger reactions that inevitably have a major impact on your vibrational frequency that will in turn inevitably attract what you emanate.

If your mind is focused on scarcity you will see around you only scarcity and attract the same. If you are primarily a person in gratitude and abundance you will live in abundance and see abundance everywhere. It‘s what we call the magnetism in the law of attraction.

Our culture’s predominant messaging is external gratification which inevitably nurtures a scarcity mindset. However, just by putting this age in which humanity finds itself, in a historical perspective we are experiencing unprecedented abundance. If you are reading this you would very likely have internet access, a stove, a fridge, and a supermarket in the vicinity offering a multitude of foods. You are living the life the kings and queens of the 14th or 15th century could only have dreamed of. Hygiene, health care, transportation, and almost every level of human existence have made immense strides over just the past 100 years.

Tremendous technological progress has however stunted spiritual growth. We are so fixated on immediate gratification that we are losing our minds. Buddhists call it the attachment to the 10,000 things. We are only confronted with mortality when a close loved one has passed, and otherwise prefer to banish illness, frailty, and death to hospitals and old age homes. 

In the Middle Ages, death was a constant reality. Fatal diseases were rampant. What we would today term a simple injury could rob the life of a young person within days. Men died in battles and women during pregnancy or childbirth. You were one of the lucky ones if you survived until your mid-40s. This inevitably focused people‘s attention on the eternal. Some of the greatest artwork and architectural masterpieces were dedicated to the divine and inspire us to this day. Philosophical thought and the teachings of the sages and mystics were timeless in their wisdom.

Meister Eckhart, a 13th-century Mystic and Dominican monk, quotes an unknown sage with the words: „World and time are small things. Unless you transcend world and time, you will not see God. “

Finding a connection to soul

The French 17th-century mathematician Blaise Pascal said: „All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”  The disconnect from the yearnings of the soul manifests itself in the craving and attachment to form that is always transitory. 

Stress always starts with the thought of wanting to be in someplace other than where you are currently finding yourself.

To find alignment with soul you have to detach from the illusory distractions of the external world. Focusing your mind on the gentle flow of your inhaling and exhaling breath is just one form of meditation. Humming the OM, a prayer, or a mantra first thing in the morning or just before closing your day at bedtime is another. Practicing some form of meditation daily has multiple positive effects on body, mind and soul.

Move your body

Physically moving your body unsticks the mind. Your body posture and physiology are an authentic expression of your mindset. Anybody can see whether a person is sad, angry, kind, happy or exuberant. Take a walk in nature, and open your senses to the sights, smells, and sounds of your surroundings. The green and blue spaces of nature will instill in you the feeling of connectedness and BEING.

Service for others

Preoccupation with the needs of the ego is a hallmark of our narcissistic culture. Individual needs are prioritized over the needs of the community. Fellow living beings and the environment are sacrificed for short-term human needs. Extraction of natural resources is prioritized over preservation and recuperation for future generations. Nationalism, tribalism, factionalism, and other forms of fundamentalism define themselves in the separateness from the „other“. 

All the wise sages of old teach us that living a life of service is the recipe for happiness, soul connection, and purpose. The higher we rise in this understanding the higher we rise „in the connection to God“, according to Eckhart. The soul „returns to God through good and divine works.“

Study

The 33rd U.S. President Harry Truman said: „Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” What you feed your mind with that you become. The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote that „the dream of your life has been dreamed from eternity.“ Your life is meant to grow and to become one part of humanity that also is destined to evolve and become on a collective level. Learning and studying the teachings of the wise will make you wise and give you the skillset for your life in service.

The spiritual teachings of the mystics emphasize the inseparability of body, mind, and spirit, and finding discipline in the daily training of meditation/prayer, and exercise of the body so that you have the strength and power to serve. Procrastination would be a disservice to your higher self. 

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

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by | February 6, 2023 · 9:29 pm

The virus of victim culture

How would you feel when after your passing you were shown by an angel the life you could have lived but didn’t live because you were too afraid to take action or spent a life in misery by blaming everyone else, especially your elementary family for what went wrong in your life?

To some degree, it’s everyone’s story. Families and relationships are strained by divorce, emotional abuse, financial issues or poor physical and mental health. But the external world, especially social media, indoctrinates us with the message that we are always supposed to be happy. Life is never like that. The seasons of nature teach us that we go through cycles of spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Our grievance culture thrives on negativity which has become like a virus infecting individuals and millions of people in entire nations. A person infected with grievance culture is incapable of self-reflection and taking responsibility. He would rather wallow in feeling sorry for himself for what all the others did to him in creating the situation he finds himself in. By blaming others he has a perfect excuse for not taking action to change the status quo.

Victim culture can poison entire nations

On a macro-level, it is a hallmark of fascist and extremist movements led by demagogues who have the ability to channel the toxic emotions of hate, anxiety, and fear into blaming ethnic minorities, other religions, political parties or genders for everything that has gone wrong in society. The fascists of Nazi Germany found fertile ground in stirring the flames of existing 19th-century Prussian militarism, hurt national pride, and prejudice toward the Jewish minority.

Comparisons with the current situation in Russia are striking. The Russian leadership is effectively using hurt national pride after the collapse of the Soviet Union to justify the invasion of another country. The messaging from state Russian media is that NATO was responsible for starting the war and that the atrocities committed by Russian troops are fake news.

A democratic modern Germany and the European Union could only be built after total defeat of Adolf Hitler and the realization that nationalism can never be a solution. In the same way dramatic changes in Russia will possibly only came after total collapse of the current authoritarian economic and political order.

Grievance culture is an addiction to a mindset. The individual is in total denial that there is a problem. The healing process is then only possible during an epiphany that comes with a flat-on-the-ground moment. The frustration level, disgust, and pain threshold has reached such a level that the first steps toward changing the situation are taken.

Photo by Simon Berger on Pexels.com

Life is cyclical: Winter is a time for reflection and opportunity

The winter cycles of life when we are in pain, grief and suffering offer also the greatest opportunity to an elevation of consciousness and change. Conflicts in relationships, in a job, or in a family are signposts pinpointing that changes need to be made, and that the status quo is no longer working. You are given an opportunity by the universe to dig deep into your inner resources, your inner truth, and your soul purpose. The winter cycles of life are a time for withdrawal and self-reflection where the ideas, and opportunities for the next cycle, spring, are born.

Some of the most successful start-ups have been founded during an economic downturn or recession. Several of the world’s most outstanding business and political leaders transmuted the winter years of their lives into activism, leadership, and creativity. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison, never losing sight of the long-term goal to become president of a non-racial democratic South Africa.

Martin Luther King wrote about his own suffering:

“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it a virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive.”

Success for these outstanding personalities came after many trials and tribulations where any normal person would have succumbed to bitterness and blame. We see often only the end result of their accomplishment and not the rough path, the inner work, discipline, and dedication they built to get there.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

One more thing...If you have found this article interesting you might want to subscribe with the “follow” button above or recommend my FREE weekly Blog to friends and family. My books can be ordered at all places that sell good books in both paperback and kindle.

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